Choosing a Career

@uvrworld I felt that way for a solid portion of my early twenties.

my whole life, up until the last six or so years, has been all about my passion for english & literature. I fancied journalism, creative writing, and teaching, yet I found myself falling in line with what my family would be happy with---& that was nursing. no one encouraged or supported what I was interested in; in fact, it was put down. constantly. anything I wanted to do, unless it had my mom's stamp of approval for being a "smart" decision, was a battle. so about a year after high school I picked up nursing prerequisite courses, telling myself I was "going to like it." it was a "smart" choice. this went on for about three or four years, & I researched various areas---travel nursing, neonatal nursing, psychiatric nursing, etc.---thinking, "yep. these sound interesting. you're going to LOVE it. you're going to be HAPPY about it." 

except that I hated it. I loathed it. I wanted nothing to do with it. when it came time for my CNA course, the negativity I harbored snowballed. after that class, I'd had it. I was done, nearing a breakdown, & I wanted out, so I left. my idea was to take a year-long academic break before returning, but only to do what *I* wanted to do. this, naturally, was a problem with family. my mom is not one to back down from an argument, & she had plenty of fight in her. she was angry, completely unsupportive, & felt that I was making the biggest mistake of life. but I didn't care anymore. I was done with hating my life because I wanted her approval, & if it turned out that the choice I was prepared to go through with wasn't the right one... oh well. that was how I felt then, & it's still how feel now. we make mistakes; that's how we learn. it's how I discover that something is or isn't for me, & I'd rather lament the extra time it takes to get somewhere I want to be than to be in a place that makes me unhappy because I didn't try.

so, circa 2014/2015, I had I plan: I was going to enroll, major in english, & get a TESOL certificate. it sounded easy enough... & it really should have been, but I was one prerequisite short. I wanted to know who to speak with, especially before I outright enrolled, about what I should do & what my options were, but I was given the runaround with wrong information. more irritatingly, no one would speak to me since I wasn't a student yet. "whatever" is basically how I felt about that. I don't know if I would have continued poking around for help or not if the next crazy phase in my life had been less crazy, but I essentially left the issue alone to deal with a few major life events. during that period, feeling lost & directionless yet again, I took a career aptitude test because why the hell not? &, of course, what else would be on there but a nurse anesthetist? when I saw that, something clicked. I don't know what it was, or why---maybe it's because, for the first time, it was just me deciding this for myself & no one else---but it brought out an interest in nursing that I didn't know I had. 

I love anatomy; I love learning about medicine, especially knowing why it works or not & how; and I think bacteria, viruses, & prions are absolutely fascinating. I enjoy the hell out of what I've learned, am learning, & will learn. I know there are massive flaws in the HC system---I criticize plenty about it & the way some facilities operate---& tied with the fact that HC workers are sometimes the scapegoats of upset (but ill) patients, nursing isn't for everyone. it's exhausting, but I enjoy helping others, I'm a willing advocate, ready to listen, eager to learn, & I feel I have a pretty good patient perspective. all of that eclipses aspects of this field that that might burn out or drive away someone else... for now. it may be that, in another five years, I'll be cursing at myself & looking for the right career all over again. maybe. but, for the time being, I'm confident in my decision. I can never watch a medical drama without SMH & wanting to cry, but I'm feeling all right right now.

hey uvrworld! I can definitely empathize with a lot of what you said. Throughout university I had a hard time with school because I also felt like I was only doing what my parents would approve of. As a result, my grades kept going down, and my parents kept pressuring me even more. Several mental breakdowns and major changes later, I decided to throw it all to the wind and do what I truly felt in my heart and majored in the first thing that interested me, which happened to be International Relations even though I had no idea what kind of career I would pursue with it. I don't even know how the idea got into my head, but I started looking up teaching English abroad (and mostly in Korea because of drama influence hehe :p). Now, I'm about to graduate in the spring, take my TEFL course, and start applying for jobs in Korea! I guess I want to say don't be afraid of going for what you want to do and do what makes you happy. A lot of times we can feel like it's end all be all when it comes to jobs or choosing majors, but I think it's never too late to pursue your dreams! 

Hey guys thanks for the replies, they really need to put notifications for replies so I can reply faster :)

@kathenhe
Congrats on finding your own path and hopefully you get awesome results for your TEFL course. There are lots of hiring for teaching in English in Korea lately and it takes a lot of courage to do that. I admire your courage to be able to decide for yourself to be able to move and start your own path like that. I wish I could be more like you. I don't have much self confidence in my self and my decisions so I always relied on people's feedback before I decide. I always thought making a decision alone for myself always lead into wrong or bad decisions so I always felt like every thing I've done before was because I was seeking approval from other people especially my parents. Now I want to gain more courage to be able to decide myself but I'm still lost and trying to figure out where I should be heading. The time is ticking and I feel like I wasted a lot of money in student debt and time to finish something and end up with nothing.

@Toots
Thanks a lot for your reply! Actually I'm veeeery similar to your situation! I have always wanted to own my own business and be my own boss!! however as a fellow aspiring entrepreneur like yourself you would know that it takes a lot of money to start in business especially if you have to get your own space (rent, etc) and basically having that idea that's profitable too! I have a lot of ideas passing by but no money for investment too. I am hoping one day I will be able to start my own business though that's my ultimate goal. It's too bad if we were closer to each other maybe finding a business partner would be easier in terms of starting a business instead of going solo? My friends really hate going into business and starting their own store or what not. They'd rather be employed by someone else despite me trying to convince them how much better it would be if we ended up doing something together instead of being stuck in a rut. Can I ask if you followed through though? Have you been able to start your own business or did you get a job related to Biology?

@etsh
Congrats on graduating in engineering! Unfortunately we are living in a world nowadays where's a surplus of engineers and no schools will ever admit that. But guess what? You finished it with all your hardwork and you stood up to your parent and did what YOU wanted to do. There's a huge difference in choosing a career you love and want to do even if you don't get a job right away (you will find one don't worry) versus your parents pushing you into a career you graduating and ending up jobless and hating the career. It's a terrible feeling. Can I ask what your doing right now? Will you be focusing on trying to get an engineering job?The thing with being in such a specific career like health care though is that I will always be stuck in it without going back to school. I  applied to grocery stores and coffee places but was rejected. They chose some highschool kid over me because they think it's crazy for me to be working there when I already graduated university. I applied to probably 500 jobs (even more maybe) and got only few interviews. I realized that because I went to school for healthcare only places related to healthcare was interested in me. It was different from people who graduated with a general arts degree who were able to get sales jobs easier than me or business grads. I realized I needed to open my path more and the only way I knew to do that was to go back to school so they realize I am serious in wanting to change careers. I've written in my resume many times that I want to change my career path but because I don't have job experiences anywhere else people won't take a chance on me. If I go back for business at leas they will be able to to realize I mean it and even if I can get an entry level admin job or as a clerk I'd be satisfied as a stepping stone.

Anyways I'm writing a biography here sorry guys. I appreciate all your advice and for sharing your own stories too.