At the age of 28..I've finally learned one of my most valuable life lessons... let go of dead weight (friendships)
I've always been more of a pushover and pleaser than anything else. I think this stems from my socialness and the fact I don't really keep anyone too close (I'm social but also a huge homebody) I have my two best friends that I've had since 2nd grade and then my facebook friends,
You know the ones. The ones that always say they'll be there for you to talk to, or if you need help in any way just let them know.
Tip. Take them up on it.
Example: * you can skip this part*
My life as of late has been made up of a series of unfortunate events (not all negative things, but things that add stress).
Not negative, just stressful: my 1 year old was diagnosed with dwarfism (after months of testing). I have a six year old with ADHD, OCD, and ODD who's prone to violent outbursts.
Negatives: We house rescue cats until they are found homes. The sanctuary that gave us a kitten didn't de-flea him correctly. So not only did we have a kitten that passed away from malnourishment 6 days after he came to us, we are currently dealing with trying to get rid of fleas. School started last week )and with being on a one income family and having to treat our home and other pets for fleas) money was limited for school supplies.
To say I'm stressed is an understatement.
So as any stressed out (and oversharing) individual has, I vented my frustrations on facebook.
I had many of my "friends" tell me to let them know if I needed anything. So I took a couple people I know pretty well on their offer. I asked for a baby sitter for two different occasions. One to treat my house again (don't want the baby there with chemicals) and one so I could go finish buying school supplies (doing any kind of shopping with 3 kids is a task). And I asked if someone could help me with my rescues (just transport them to another place willing to keep them for a few days; they're all flea free now)
What do ya know...they really aren't willing to help in any way they can. I'm not saying they don't have legit reasons not to help, but they IMMEDIATELY had excuses. And it's not the first time.
So life lesson: if your friends say they are willing to help you or talk to you about anything..take them up on the offer. You'll get to know real quickly who is really willing to be there for you, and who is just saving face in your times of trouble. To me there's nothing more toxic than a one sided friendship.
*I will say though that this has not changed my outlook on helping people who are in need. Just because I have surrounded myself with people who may be unwilling to help as said, I'm still willing to do everything in my power to help those I say I will (and some who've never asked before)*
