I saw the review of Starman and it gave me an epiphany :

I have given up on finding strong female characters ,I will settle for selfish ones.

So chingus recommend away

Lol, Starman's lead's selfishness is nothing to settle for though. She's a borderline rapist.
Haha I may rewatch the first few episodes again haha. The problem is that most dramas are meant for the female audience so you  usually have selfish male leads and that has become the norm but as a male I want to see selfish female leads not doormats
Anna-san no Omame is probably an extreme of what you're looking for.
The Snow Queen. She is selfish and strong. Awesome drama. 
Arigato tomodachi. I read the descrition, its like a female Unubore  haha. I am watching Konkatsu Deka but its not fully subbed. Bullying seems to be accepted in Asian dramas a lot although Spiderman became  friends with his bully. But abuse at the workplace is even worse with practical slavery disguised as internships, thats why Japanese women refuse to work. No one wants to get a degree only to do the job of a maid.
I hate how the perpetrators of abuse especially verbal abuse never apologize, they seem proud of themselves like they gave the victim life training(Nakuna Hara-chan for example)
@Georgie do you mean the Hyun Bin drama?
Yeah, Queen of Ambition is definitively what you're looking for 
I have seen that, it was a makjang masterpiece AKA a mess of epic proportions. I am not a fan of makjang. The only show that I have seen that qualifies is In Time With You(I watched it like every month for a year I might go crazy ha-ha)
Imo, the Most Memorable STRONG & SMART & BRAVE female leads: The Best of the Best is Se-Ryung in The Princess' Man.
Also, Mishil in Queen Seon Duk ..... empress in Empress Ki .... Guk-Ja (Strong yet gentle) and Ji-Hyun (No victim) in East of Eden .... 
Jin Yue in Sound of the Desert ..... Xue Wu in Prince of Lan Ling ... Zhen Huan in Legend of Concubine Zhen Huan ... (I'm sure there's more)

Strong, Brave, but not always smart (too stubborn): Shan-Cai in Meteor Garden

SELFISH: ... selfish and audience didn't like her much, Mi Do in When a Man Loves .... Barbie Hsu's character in Summer's Desire , she Loved & dated both male leads (Peter Ho & Huang Xiao-Ming) yet she manipulated them to get what she wants ...  true Triangle, u don't know who she'll pick until the very end!

Movie: Gianna Jeon in My Sassy Girl
if you are into family dramas, i consider the main female lead of What Happens to My Family? meet your reqs
The first drama that comes to mind is: I Do, I Do. It's not a masterpiece, but the main character could be what you are looking for: she is richer than the male lead and she puts her interests first. I particularly enjoyed the reversal of the usual gender roles (rich/ angry man vs. nice/ poor girl) that are imposed in kdrama land. 
Thanks for all the replies. I dont know why forums dont give notifications.
@betweencattoes I have seen I Do I Do and loved it, not the end so much though lol.
@QuianqLei I will check it out thanks
@rainruma Not a fan of Peter Ho, you should see Le Jun Kai. I love Xiao Ming so I will try that show. Thanks for all your recommendations. I have seen My Sassy girl try the Japanese TV Show Ryokiteki Na Kanojo. This is probably the best in the "genre" : Kanojo to no Tadashii Asobikata
Thanx @Timbone , I'll add them to my PTW, since I'm in J-dorama phase :D
P.S. many abusive men in Asian dramas ... usually w/ a heart of gold :P ... it's fantasy land after all :P
@rainruma  yeah. The same way I know a lot of  females who love psychopaths/serial killers like Hannibal. I sometimes can't fathom it but I guess its a fantasy.
PS Your profile pic looks like Jake Gyllenhaal but I bet its a Thai dude haha