Here, I posted the first part, so let's finish the discussion.
I mentioned ‘glorification of pain’, but I didn’t mean something like masochism. On the contrary, the worship of pain stems from a meaningful concept: that through hard work, devotion, and responsibility, a person can develop their best human features. Surely, with this attitude, favorable results can be expected, but an individual’s utmost endeavour is more important and valuable than consequences . So, even if ‘loss’ is inevitable, fight itself should be cherished (remember Aya in ‘1 Litre of Tears). In fact, the more the situation is unfavorable, the more chances to show your strong character: The most beautiful is created in the ugliest time. This is the basic idea.
For one thing, this can explain why in J-dramas and movies, the theme of terminal disease is so widespread. This unfortunate period of life gives people, especially the victim, the best opportunity to shine: to show that even when all odds are against you, how hard you try, and how responsible toward family, and friends you are.
I really like the idea, and this is one main reason why I’m in love with Japanese dramas and not consequence-centred Hollywood. However, an undue emphasis on all these valuable elements can be problematic. In the realm of work, we are all aware of the fact that Japanese cult of hard work has resulted in high rate of depression, anxiety, and suicide in workplaces. Similarly, in other areas, unreasonable and excessive emphasis on dedication and sacrifice might cause problems. To illustrate how, let’s back to ‘Mother’. In their last talk, when Tusgumi tells Nao about her worry of forgetting each other after 13 years, Nao mentions her own mother that waited for 30 years to talk to her daughter again. As the series shows, due to the circumstances, and in order to protect Nao, the mother sacrificed almost everything valuable in her life. She even accepted Nao’s hate without defending herself. Now, following her mother, Nao is going to do something similar: that despite her love for Tsugumi, she will wait for 13 years to see her girl again. This is Nao’s sacrifice. As I explained in the first part, this wait is totally unreasonable: an unnecessary suffering for both Nao and Tsugumi. But the obsession with sacrifice and pain is at work: It seems that if Nao does not suffer for 13 years, something will be missing and she will be less mother. In other words, to depict how much dedicated Nao is, these 13 years of suffering comes as a must.
The same obsession can also explain the story of Nao’s sister—Mei—and her pregnancy. This is a side issue in the series, so nothing can be said with confidence, but some educated guess might be made: Mei’s fetus suffers from a serious heart problem, such that there is a high chance that it won’t live long. And even if it can be saved by surgery, its future seems to be a life of hardship. At first, Mei decides to abort. In this period, she is portrayed as someone with the only goal of marrying a guy with a good job and a wealthy family. To achieve this, she is ready to lie to her boyfriend and his family. Also, she is more or less mean toward Nao. In short, she is not responsible and kind, instead she seeks an easy life without doing anything on her own. However, she gradually develops feelings for her baby, and finally becomes a ‘mother’. Then, her attitude changes: She stopped trying to deceive her fiancé and his family. In fact, she decides to raise her kid without the father. Also, her attitude toward Nao changes; she becomes a caring sister. So, all in all, the series depicts some indirect connection between abortion, dishonesty, irresponsibility and selfishness on one hand and keeping the sick fetus, honesty, responsibility, and kindness on the other hand. This is weird, as here, we have a case that even many pro-life people support abortion. I'm not saying that mothers in such situation have to abort. The point is that in such situation, one can be totally responsible but decides to not become a mother. Why shouldn’t one prevent a life full of pain and hardship for herself, her kid, and all people around? In fact, Mei could have aborted out of mere responsibility. So again, it seems that for the series, taking pain and suffering without considering other factors is inherently valuable and praiseworthy.
Let me finish with this: Motherhood is tough enough, so no need to add unnecessary pain and responsibility to it. In actuality, and for many reasons, this ‘cult of pain’ can be even dangerous. One example of the danger is given by 'Mother' itself. As the series shows, at first, Rena’s mother represents the ideal picture of mother. The lonely mother sacrifices her youth and everything else to raise Rena in the best possible condition. But she breaks under pressure and starts to think about abandoning Rena or committing suicide with her girl. And then when she finds a boyfriend to rely on, she is silent toward his abuse of Rena, since the mother is in dire need of his support. Worse than that, she gradually becomes an abuser herself; all those years of dedication now become sources of anger and revenge toward Rena. For this reason, Rena’s mother depicts well the other side of the coin of sacrifice and dedication. So, one can say that instead of the series’ Jesus-like picture of mothers, what is needed more is to provide mothers with more emotional, social, legal, and economic support. To be sure, Rena's mother is responsible for what happened to her daughter, but for not supporting enough the mother and girl, the society in general, is the culprit.
To sum up, despite all various merits of the series, by glorifying pain, ‘Mother’ conveys a wrong message regarding life in general and motherhood in particular. The truth is, there is no inherent merit in suffering.
