I know you’re all joking but don’t you be giving me hope like this.nathsketch:
Is there something we can do?
Back to Ah fanfic, it‘s short and can be actually filmed as special Ep ?. Maybe someone can post it in LYF Weibo official page or something to get fans buzzing and pushing the prod team? Even if the possibility is very small, maybe if the fans got loud enough and the ending backlash big enough, the prod team will give us XL a special EP with better ending.???luv2bafangurl:
At this point in time, I don't hold out much hope except to pray that the finalised version went through major rethinking in terms of changes, and makes sense. I don't believe there is any hope of them coming back to shoot a special so late in the game, which would also need to go through the entire vetting process once more. As for an extra episode... fingers crossed the rumours about YZ and TJC staying back to film a LYF special in H!6 in June is true, hopefully with alternate ending that is a balm to YaoLiu hearts.
I like this version as it doesn’t negate XL sacrifices to give XY HE. She got to live her life happily and fully like XL wanted
That was very important to me. I wanted his gifts to be utilized and his efforts to pay off the way he intended, so they wouldn't be in vain. I wanted the ending he orchestrated to be fully realized.
even if like some here pointed out actually in this HE XY doesn’t really overcome her traumas and live a codepent relationship with TSJ instead (very interesting pov, I enjoyed this discussion. That‘s why I think this thread is great. you guys keep amaze me with your insights) It‘s not a very healthy relationship, but realistically I know a lot of marriage/relationship are co-dependent in some degree and when it works the couple are happy living with each other.
I like to think that, eventually, both XY and TSJ healed and matured, that their attachment styles became more secure, and that their relationship became healthier. Especially after becoming parents. Which is why, in the fic, XY was still able to be happy and at peace for another 400+ years after TSJ died. She lived the life she tried to start on Ying Province Island without TSJ, CX or XL. But in this case she didn't just have her servants for company. She also had various apprentices over the years, as well as her children and grandchildren. Especially Bei Xue.
Back to Ah fanfic, it‘s short and can be actually filmed as special Ep ?.
Lol, I certainly included enough flashbacks for the usual special-episode feature of recycling lots of old footage. ^^
Maybe someone can post it in LYF Weibo official page or something to get fans buzzing and pushing the prod team? Even if the possibility is very small, maybe if the fans got loud enough and the ending backlash big enough, the prod team will give us XL a special EP with better ending.???
I don't think there's even a 00.000001% chance of them giving us a special like this, but that's probably for the best. If they did, I feel like even more people would be upset. XL dies and XY has kids with TSJ? Many YaoLius will understandably still be unhappy. XY was married to TSJ for over 1,500 years but reunited with XL's spirit when she died, and passionately kissed him? I can't imagine the YaoJings would be happy with that either. ^^"
The beauty of fanfiction is that it can cater to a specific subgroup of a fandom, and if the rest of the fandom doesn't like it then they can just skip reading it.
@AH.MengXiang:
I didn't realize you wrote until the end notes.
Lol, yes that's on me. I haven't tried to be consistent with user names across different platforms.
For all it's worth, I liked it. It was short, sweet, in character and provided nice closure. It was well written, well structured and had enough foreshadowing to give the reader that sense of anticipation and engagement to continue it.
After reading it, I was very satisfied because she found out and reunited together in next stage. As mentioned above would be a nice special. I think most fans just wants her to know... More than them living a life together.
Thank you MengXiang! I appreciate that feedback and I'm glad it provided some closure.
That was the "fix" I wanted most, for XY to know about XL's wishes for her and to better understand what XL did for her and felt for her. But not too early. Not in a way that would just make her miserable and haunted by the past, which XL tried so hard to avoid.
It was nice she had a happy life but I do wonder how did XL play in her mind in the 2000 years. What do you think? How often did she think about it...
She definitely visited the island where XL died shortly after the events of the novel, and I'm sure she was still hurting very deeply when she did.
I re-watched Titanic while I was writing the fic and I like to think that Jack's influence on Rose's life would be similar to XL's influence on XY's life.
Jack made Rose promise to live, and inspired her to live boldly, instead of meekly sitting back and letting miserable things happen to her. After landing in New York, Rose supported herself by becoming an actress, so she didn't need to marry for financial support. But she did marry, presumably for love, and had children and grandchildren. After her husband passed, she still lived a full and exciting life. Her home was filled with items from her travels, fresh flowers, and her own hand-made pottery. The pictures by elderly Rose's bedside when she died showed that she had a wide variety of rich life experiences. She travelled, flew airplanes, road horses and elephants. She (or one of her daughters or granddaughters) graduated from university.
The picture of Rose riding a horse shows her riding it on the beach in front of the roller coaster on Santa Monica pier. Although it was historically inaccurate (the roller coaster was built after the Titanic sank), the morning after Jack and Rose met they plan to go to the pier and ride the roller coaster together one day, as well as horses on the beach right in the surf. Clearly Rose remembered.
For XY, I imagine she thought of XL often when she practiced her archery and when she used her abilities in the ocean, including when she taught her children archery and showed them how to use their abilities. And I imagine she continued to see XL in Left Ear and Left Ear's children. And perhaps there were other demons and former slaves that passed through Bifenggang Clinic over the years, and perhaps XY saw a bit of XL in them too. She was able to live fully and freely because of XL.
In Titanic, I like to think that Rose held onto the Heart of the Ocean (and never sold it or told anyone about it) because it symbolized a shared memory with Jack. Not letting it go therefore also symbolized not letting go of her memories of, or feelings for, Jack. I feel like the sea map jewel could be the same for XY and her memories / feelings for XL. And her bow is a little bit like that too for FFB.
That's a long way of saying, I think his influence was with her pretty much constantly, and she thought of him when using his gifts or in the presence of those who reminded her of him. And I'm sure there were other times when she thought of him. When she worked with poisons, encountered a scent like one of the perfumes he bought for her as FFB, or missed the comforting feeling of having someone share in her exact heartache in moments of sadness, for example.
Did she actually feel regret before finding out...
In the aftermath of XL's death, I'm sure XY would spend many nights thinking about the "what ifs" and the other choices she could've made in the hopes of trying to avoid that outcome. But my interpretation of XL's death is that it was an ending that he chose for himself and XY knew it, so "regret" might not be the main feeling. A lot of hurt, a fair bit of sorrow, and maybe a little bit of anger, too.
Several times in the novel, XY expresses a desire to live a certain way or to do certain things with XL/FFB that she isn't able to do. I imagine she might still feel a similar sense of longing or wistfulness from time to time long after the events of the novel.
And in the novel, when XY is teaching Left Ear, she pictures Gong Gong doing the same with XL. While I wouldn't say it's something that she does to alleviate regret exactly, I do think XY probably used teaching Left Ear and others throughout her life (after the events of the novel) in a certain way. A bit like a proxy to fulfill an unfulfilled wish, or to fill some small holes in her heart.
MySiFeng:
@AH
I've read your fic and it somehow it comforted me that they are finally reunited in the end.
I cried too :( but it was a well-written one! Amazing :)
Thank you MySiFeng! Sorry for making you cry, but I'm glad it was also comforting. ^^
Assassination. Tsj let Fangfeng Bei snatch the marriage. After that, Xiang Liu lost his identity as Fangfeng Bei, so it was tsj who killed Fangfeng Bei and killed the snake demon for the fox.windiaaa041293:
From this we can see the author's good intentions, telling us in a less obvious way: "gentleness" can destroy people's will, and sweet words can paralyze people.
This was the second time that Xiaotian was imprisoned by the nine- tailed fox demon, and he had no choice but to cut him off again.
Only when she escapes from the prison can she truly grow. Completed the first escape from the prison
The second time is the freedom of life, and the second time is the independence of spirit. I had always speculated that Xiaotian would not be able to survive after learning that Xiang Liu loved her deeply. but
I now think that if she knew Xiang Liu's deep love, she would become independent.
This is so deep. Maybe, in a sequel (pleaaase, make it happen!!) XY will break free once again from a fox's prison/"TSJ's golden cage"? I hope so because I'm kind of disappointed by XY's final character development. As @nathsketch and @liddi pointed out:
That's why the ideal ending for me would be seeing Xiao Yao finally working out and overcoming her abandonment issues and being healed and empowered enough to be on her own without having to rely on that codependent, fragile fox as a clutch. Her character development was basically zero considering she never really dealt with her own problems in a healthy manner. It would be so great if she even maybe found another dude at the very end, someone totally new who embodied a little bit of all the others, but the great aspects of them.
I think she was far stronger as Wen Xiao Liu, certainly a lot more independent and free. As Xiao Yao, she was restrained and confined by the burden of her station and later on her real identity, and the free spirit that defined her earlier years pretty much smotheredliddi:
This novel is quite disconcerting. I can't seem to understand the author's intentions... Every time I think I understand a character's intentions, I discover a different interpretation, also very plausible, that turns my POV upside down. I know the characters are grey, they have flaws and other priorities in life than romance. But depending on the hints we pick when reading between the lines/between the unspoken or unsincere words, and depending on the interpretation of the symbols scattered throughout the novel, the only thing I can be sure of in the end, is that I find each of these character very cold and cruel...
Sometimes she says things she doesn't mean like those examples directly to other people (XL). And sometimes she says things that are intentionally vague, down-played, or inaccurate to other people about a third party, like when she downplays her relationship with XL when she talks to CX.AH :
About XY giving downplayed statuses (like "friend" instead of "lover"): I think that people who fear abandonment and are afraid of rejection may sometimes have trouble knowing what others mean to them, because they don't know what they themselves really mean to others. They don't have enough self-confidence, they put themselves down and don't dare believe that anyone could be their friend or more. Because they're afraid of being abandoned again, they protect themselves by downplaying the importance of others in their lives. They also push them away. So, as well as never being reassured by TSJ and XL about what she means to them, I think that's also an unconscious self-preservation technique from XY to cope with her fear of abandonment.
And when Xiaoyao put the colorful fish into the ice crystal ball, it was not the "colourful fish" that swam under the sea after planting the poison, but specifically the "colorful small sea fish". Could it be that she was telling him: I said even if it is Pain and burden, I also want to remember that this time I am not afraid, so will you hold my hand?
Red coral only appears in the ice crystal ball in the whole book. Let’s assume that the author only did it for the beauty of the ice crystal ball. If it means something, then red coral symbolizes happiness and eternity. When Xiaoyao placed the red coral in the ice crystal ball, could she be saying that she believed that if Xiang Liu accepted her, they would be happy together and their love would last forever?
he was like fei fei to her, lured out by her sad story and helping her overcome her sorrows, so in a way she did end up catching one the day they met.blabla100:
That is so eye-opening!
By the way, I don't know if it's just me, but I thought I saw that Fei Fei in the drama (episode 3) has a V-shaped golden mark on its forehead?
This might be a good time to mention that I did end up finishing that Titanic-inspired fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50959165/chapters/128743111.
Fair warning again though, it's 100% canon-compliant with the novel (nothing from the original story is changed) and, like Rose in the Titanic, it acknowledges that the female lead had a long, happy life (including children and grandchildren) with another man (TSJ). So it's definitely not for everyone (nathsketch ^^).
It also hasn't been beta-read yet, so if you do end up reading it and find any typos or have any suggestions for edits, please let me know! ^^
But for both of you, please don't feel obligated to read this one just because I've shared it here. The premise won't appeal to everyone. If you hate the novel ending or the idea of XY being with TSJ at all, it's probably not your cup of tea and that's okay!
I re-watched Titanic while I was writing the fic and I like to think that Jack's influence on Rose's life would be similar to XL's influence on XY's life.
It's so moving! Just reading your posts about @AH's fanfiction, I'm already overwhelmed... Oh no, I have a feeling that I'll wake up at 3 a.m. with that heartbroken feeling again...I don't know how you all manage to be so strong. I sincerely would have loved to feast my eyes on your writing and your creativity @AH, but I have to protect what's left of the pieces of my heart. Especially since I can't accept the fact that XY married TSJ anyway instead of leaving everything behind after XL's death and traveling the world alone, living off her medical talents.
孝顺 (filial piety / respect and obedience / xiao shun) is a virtue and an ethical obligation for sons and daughters to care for, respect and obey their parents and ancestors. Acts that show filial piety (think of how everyone considered "FFB" to be filial after he diligently cared for his mother for four years until she died) can sometimes be driven by love and affection. But even where there is no affection, a child is expected to be filial to their parents and failing to be filial would be seen as failing to fulfil an ethical duty and indicative of a lack of virtue.
This is a continuation from a discussion on page 196-197 of this thread and earlier. Sorry for the delayed response. I’m in the middle of a lot more family (4 generations) activities than usual.
First, thank you again for all the excerpts and explanations! Second, I could easily be wrong. I’m here to learn from others, not the other way around. I’m selfish in that way. :D I love to learn. :) You make a great case, as usual. (I’m sure you don’t need to be told that, but I imagine that it’s nice for you to hear it every now and then from someone.)
So, chronologically, XL went from paying back a debt to Gong Gong’s adoption of him and bonds of love and affection that could never be repaid. Subsequently, XL bonded with his fellow soldiers in a way that he would fight to his certain death, despite not believing in the cause and despite the cause eventually becoming a completely lost one.
How old was XL when all this happened? Somewhere between his teens and early 20s, in terms of modern ages? XL didn’t bond with Gong Gong until after he went to repay his debt to him. This made XL an adult of sorts. I think adult-ish men bond differently IRL. The bond is far from a son born to a father and a subsequent very close relationship. As far as I can tell, it takes extremely difficult circumstances for two adult-ish men to develop that strong of a bond. Going to battle in a war or say, American professional football can develop close-ish to that kind of bond.
It would have been better for me if Tong Hua had changed a few sentences and had XL bond with Gong Gong earlier.
Dying on the Battlefield
In addition, Tong Hua wrote that to a general, dying on the battlefield was the best ending; so, XL chose the best ending for himself. Those are great concepts to write, but I don’t think they apply to a situation involving a completely lost cause. (How about going home to your family and friends and/or doing more great things with the rest of your life in a better world?)
In contrast to XL’s situation, I understood Fourth Uncle and Chi You (ML in the prequel and XY’s father, for those who don’t know) dying on the battlefield. (By the way, my heart was already broken by the prequel’s tragic ending, so I couldn’t take another tragic ending in LYF at the time. I was looking for closure for A’Heng and Chi You, which I kind of got. I saw XL’s ending going in the same direction as Chi You’s, and I couldn’t take it. I’m still struggling with it.)
Relative to XL, Tong Hua probably pushed the envelope too far for me. Don’t get me wrong. She has written a wonderful fictional world, which is why I have been so blown away by her storytelling and writing. But, some of it involves concepts that approach real life. Do we fill in the gaps ourselves (which is natural instinct), take things at face value (like pushing my “I believe” push button), or some mixture of different things?
The Words “Filial” vs. “Love”
But, back to the main topic of words like “filial” and “love.” I have never parsed many of the words you (AH) use. It is making me think, but I’m slow with these kinds of things. Also, my thinking is essentially Western, not Eastern. So, my response may not make sense, especially in the context of Tong Hua’s fictional world.
I have always viewed being “filial” as part of “love.” (So, I viewed XL’s relationship with Gong Gong as love.) If love isn’t involved, then I think of it as being “loyal.” To me, being “loyal” involves a good reason, like a common goal, common belief, trust, etc. (Loyalty can become misplaced loyalty, but that’s a separate topic that isn’t applicable here.)
I mostly think of being filial as being filial to an elder, although it could be applied to other loved ones too. To me, part of being filial is accepting that the elder knows more than you do, is more experienced, is wiser, is better at figuring out big-picture things, and/or whatever else. So, I may not fully understand why an elder holds a certain position, but I defer to them (not completely blindly; we all get wiser as we get older, or at least I hope so).
In real life, I don’t really believe in the kind of love between Gong Gong and XL being strong enough for XL to give up his life. Plenty of people love people they don’t respect, don’t trust fully, etc. But, I can see being filial having something to do with XL, regardless of whether he fully understands Gong Gong’s position or not. Also, to some extent, I can see XL succumbing to the phenomenon of sacrificing himself for his fellow soldiers. But, I think it’s “pathetic” (XY’s word that I agree with). I think they’ve lost the forest through the trees, which is sad. There’s so much more to life, especially for someone like XL.
The Word “Obligation”
The word “obligation” may fit in there somewhere. But, I’m not as articulate as you (AH) are. So, I haven’t put it in anywhere in my response above. If “obligation” fits in anywhere, to me, it fits in with “filial” somewhere. It may be that I’m far more Western than Eastern. My Eastern dad told me that one doesn’t have to be filial to a father, if he doesn’t behave as a father. To me, the idea that anyone should be blindly filial to anyone may raise a red flag that something’s wrong. The person with ethics problems or virtue problems may be the elder who is expecting someone to be blindly filial to them.
XL
In my version of Tong Hua’s world, XL would have confided to Gong Gong that he was deeply in love with XY, how extremely well they got along (after he started trusting her), etc. Then, Gong Gong would have kicked XL’s arse out of the army and told him that he wanted a better life for him than the rest of their doomed lives. That looks more like real love to me.
Thank you very much for your concern and encouragement. I will definitely let her know. She is a lot less cheerful nowadays so I tried to comfort her by telling her he is not real, but to her, he is real in her heart. I just hope I can find a way for her to move on... she tried distracting herself with other shows, but it has not really helped much so far, and I catch her humming the songs every now and again. Perhaps it's early days yet and hopefully time will lessen the pain for her (and all of us too!).
I can understand your pain, because I believe most of us here felt the same way one time or another (and probably still feel in varying degrees). Am glad you found some form of relief in the group therapy here, as @nathsketch very eloquently describes this thread!
I hope your daughter can overcome her pain.
Don't know if that would help, but tell her that she's not alone, and that right now millions of people around the world are also wondering every day why they're so affected by a fiction :D. Tell her that since it's invented, she can make it her own and re-imagine it and change the course of the character's lives in her head, or rewrite her perfect ending herself (writing is even better since it is therapeutic).
What helps me, personally, is, firstly, our "group therapy" here :). Then, it's to "dissect" the novel and the drama to better appreciate and demystify the finesse of Tong Hua's writing method that enables her to provoke those deep-seated feelings in us. Watching BTS of the drama can also help because it reminds us that behind these characters who have made such an impression on us, are these professional actors that do antics in their very costumes.
The final thing that definitely helped me to overcome my grief is understanding and realizing that, with LYF, there's more than meets the eye and one ought not to take the novel too literaly. This brings us to my last point - which I didn't think was open to debate but I believe is vastly admitted -: yes XY and XL love each other and have admitted it to each other many times with their very own coded language.
I wonder where Fei Fei is. The creator of this thread.
Should I sing a song to bring her back?
Maybe someone else will appear. LOL
Extremely well played!
I hope your daughter can overcome her pain.blimarch:
Don't know if that would help, but tell her that she's not alone, and that right now millions of people around the world are also wondering every day why they're so affected by a fiction :D. Tell her that since it's invented, she can make it her own and re-imagine it and change the course of the character's lives in her head, or rewrite her perfect ending herself (writing is even better since it is therapeutic).
Thank you so much. I really hope so too. She got very triggered when I accidentally mentioned the crystal globe just recently because I did not realise that was a detail she was not privy to yet. I think what hits hardest for her apart from Xiang Liu's death, is that Xiao Yao never knew the extent of what he did for her. AH's fanfic would help in that regard, but she is not yet ready to accept his death any time soon.
One thing that I find unacceptable, and my daughter independently shared the same response when she watched that scene, was how Cang Xuan's mother chose to kill herself and follow her husband in death, despite knowing that her decision leaves her young son an orphan. Perhaps her choice was also due to the fact that she was marked for death anyway the moment she chose to take revenge. Still, as a parent myself, no matter how difficult it is to go on with the loss, I believe that the love and responsibility towards one's child who is also suffering from that same loss, should always come first. She chose to end her own suffering in death, but did she consider how her choice would impact the child she should have protected, the child she now left all alone in this world, even if she had entrusted his care to someone she trusted. No matter how hard, she should have done right by her child, ensuring that she is there for him until life dictates otherwise. I have seen this as a recurring theme in too many stories (one of the most notable is Jin Yong's 雪山飞狐 Flying Fox on Snowy Mountain where upon the death of her husband, Hu Fei's mother killed herself and entrusted her baby son to a trusted acquaintance because she loved her husband too much to bear living a life without him) and find it a disturbing mindset, even if it is merely in a fictional setting.
This is a continuation from a discussion on page 196-197 of this thread and earlier. Sorry for the delayed response. I’m in the middle of a lot more family (4 generations) activities than usual.MTH123:
No need to apologize!
First, thank you again for all the excerpts and explanations!
Always happy to have these discussions. ^^
I could easily be wrong. I’m here to learn from others, not the other way around. I’m selfish in that way. :D I love to learn. :)
I don't think it has to be a one-way street where half of us are learners and half are... teachers? Your contributions are valuable. I like how we've all shared our questions, thoughts, and insights in this thread. Sometimes a good question is an insight in and of itself. I definitely feel like I've learned a lot and changed my mind on a few things over the past 200+ pages of discussion. ^^
You make a great case, as usual. (I’m sure you don’t need to be told that, but I imagine that it’s nice for you to hear it every now and then from someone.)
Thank you. Yes, a compliment is always appreciated. ^^
How old was XL when all this happened? Somewhere between his teens and early 20s, in terms of modern ages? XL didn’t bond with Gong Gong until after he went to repay his debt to him. This made XL an adult of sorts. I think adult-ish men bond differently IRL. The bond is far from a son born to a father and a subsequent very close relationship. As far as I can tell, it takes extremely difficult circumstances for two adult-ish men to develop that strong of a bond. Going to battle in a war or say, American professional football can develop close-ish to that kind of bond.
It would have been better for me if Tong Hua had changed a few sentences and had XL bond with Gong Gong earlier.
Yes, XL was probably an adult when he joined Gong Gong and had already spent approximately 100 years as FFB.
XY speculated that XL was a "young man" like Left Ear when he escaped from the death match arena (500 - 600 years before the events of chapter 23). By my math, XL probably joined Gong Gong's army between 200 and 250 years after he escaped from the death match arena.
When XL escaped from the death match arena, he was badly injured and almost died in a whirlpool. Gong Gong saved his life and spent some time teaching him, but XL ran away from him and went all the way to the far north to escape from his attackers. XL confirmed that he spent over 100 years in the far north after running away from Gong Gong. Based on that and the other timelines, I'd say that between 100 and 150 years passed between XL escaping from the death match arena and XL meeting FFB in the far north.
At the point in the novel where XY speculates that XL escaped from the death match arena 500 - 600 years earlier (chapter 23), roughly 350 years had passed since Sheng Nong was defeated (which is roughly when XL joined Gong Gong) and roughly 450 years had passed since XL took over FFB's identity. So there were roughly 100 years between those two events.
That said, Gong Gong and XL are both adults, but they are not peers. If I had to guess, I'd say that Gong Gong was probably several thousand years old (and probably past his prime by the time the events of LYF roll around, like the Grand Emperor). There's a definite generational difference between the two. They feel somewhat similar to the Grand Emperor and CX. The Grand Emperor treated CX like a son (he felt like he owed Cang Xuan's aunt, uncle and father that much) and CX called the Grand Emperor Shifu. The Grand Emperor couldn't adopt CX as his son given their respective positions, but he did end up making CX his son-in-law and defacto heir.
I'm personally glad XL was able to do something else with his life before joining Gong Gong's army. Especially those ~100 years he spent as FFB where he experienced a mother's love and then learned how to live as a relatively care-free deity. IMO it would be more depressing if XL's whole life was just: (1) childhood as a sea snake demon without a human form; (2) death match arena; (3) running for his life; and (4) fighting for Gong Gong's remnant army.
In contrast to XL’s situation, I understood Fourth Uncle and Chi You (ML in the prequel and XY’s father, for those who don’t know) dying on the battlefield.
As far as I'm aware, the scene where CX's father (XY's Fourth Uncle) dies in Once Promised has not been translated, so I have not read it. But from what I gather from all the different references to that scene in the translated parts of Once Promised and in LYF, CX's father went into battle knowing he would die, and was trapped by his enemies. But then his fellow soldiers went to save him. He could have escaped then and gone back to his beloved wife and son (CX), but he chose to stay and die rather than abandon his fellow soldiers. He chose to die with them even though he didn't have to and his death didn't achieve anything. That seems like almost exactly the choice that XL made. I imagine that's why Tong Hua chose to have XY think of her uncle's choice in chapter 35.
-----
Chapter 35:
Xiao Yao couldn’t imagine, but she understood what Xiang Liu felt. Her Fourth Uncle could have survived that day, and he did love Fourth Aunt and Zhuan Xu, but he chose to die alongside his soldiers. In this world there was camaraderie so strong that one would die rather than abandon it.
-----
Once Promised Volume 2, Chapter 17:
Ah Heng walked up to the Yellow Emperor. “Father, did you ask Uncle Zhi Muo to come convince me to lead the Xuan Yuan army into battle?”
“I did.”
“I’m willing to lead them into battle, but it’s not for you. What happened to you now, you deserve it all! If Xuan Yuan belonged to only you, then its existence or extermination would have nothing to do with me. But the Xuan Yuan Kingdom is not just yours. It was built on the blood sweat and tears of Mom and Uncle Zhi Muo. It was built on the sacrifice of the Xuan Yuan soldiers, it belongs to the Xuan Yuan people.”
The Yellow Emperor said, “I know.”
“When Fourth Brother was trapped in Ju Mountain, I asked Shao Hao as the Grand Emperor for his military assistance. I thought he would do it for the sake of Eldest Brother and their friendship. But he said no… Later, father, you must know that Qi Yo came. He wanted to help me but he could only give me half his strength. It was only the Xuan Yuan soldiers who wanted to save their brother in arms who went into battle knowing they would die and still they did it. That was when I truly understood how deep the blood ties of an entire tribe run - the meaning and power of a kingdom so vast. Even if I don’t acknowledge you, I’m willing to protect this kingdom you rule and die for it! I just learned Uncle Zhi Muo’s only son died on Ju Mountain as well, like Fourth Brother did. All over Xuan Yuan Kingdom there are dead sons leaving orphans and widows. I once couldn’t understand why Fourth Brother went into battle to die. Did he not love sister-in-law? How could he also leave little Zhuan Xu behind? But now I can understand Fourth Brother. The people of Xuan Yuan did not fail me, so I cannot fail them!”
In my version of Tong Hua’s world, XL would have confided to Gong Gong that he was deeply in love with XY, how extremely well they got along (after he started trusting her), etc. Then, Gong Gong would have kicked XL’s arse out of the army and told him that he wanted a better life for him than the rest of their doomed lives. That looks more like real love to me.
It's never too late to write your own fix-it fic. ^^
I did not realise that was a detail she was not privy to yet.
Is she reading the novel right now?
I think what hits hardest for her apart from Xiang Liu's death, is that Xiao Yao never knew the extent of what he did for her.
I get that. I also think that's one of the hardest parts of the ending to accept. I feel like the thing that helped me mostly come to peace with that part was reminding myself that that's exactly how XL wanted it to be. He had a plan and he executed it successfully. He couldn't be with XY himself, but he got everything else he wanted. Including giving XY a happy ending and sparing her from the pain of knowing the full extent of his feelings and how much he actually did for her. Writing the fic helped too. ^^
One thing that I find unacceptable, and my daughter independently shared the same response when she watched that scene, was how Cang Xuan's mother chose to kill herself and follow her husband in death, despite knowing that her decision leaves her young son an orphan. Perhaps her choice was also due to the fact that she was marked for death anyway the moment she chose to take revenge. Still, as a parent myself, no matter how difficult it is to go on with the loss, I believe that the love and responsibility towards one's child who is also suffering from that same loss, should always come first. She chose to end her own suffering in death, but did she consider how her choice would impact the child she should have protected, the child she now left all alone in this world, even if she had entrusted his care to someone she trusted. No matter how hard, she should have done right by her child, ensuring that she is there for him until life dictates otherwise. I have seen this as a recurring theme in too many stories (one of the most notable is Jin Yong's 雪山飞狐 Flying Fox on Snowy Mountain where upon the death of her husband, Hu Fei's mother killed herself and entrusted her baby son to a trusted acquaintance because she loved her husband too much to bear living a life without him) and find it a disturbing mindset, even if it is merely in a fictional setting.
For these types of things, my head tends to go to meta analysis. If CX hadn't been so horrifically abandoned by his parents (and then, to a lesser extent, by his grandmother and Ah Heng) his character would be much easier to hate and his choices (especially the ones motivated out of fear of losing XY or a desire to have enough power to protect her) would be much less heartbreaking.
Also, CX's parents, XY's parents, and TSJ's parents made choices that greatly harmed and traumatized their children. But one of the (mostly) positive things about LYF is that the next generation is determined not to perpetuate that cycle.
XY and CX said that they were determined not to abandon their children like their parents abandoned them. Hopefully they do actually end up sticking to that conviction later in life.
Plus XY got to meet her mother and found out that Ah Heng held on to life for 400 years just to meet her one last time.
And TSJ was determined not to repeat his mother's mistakes to create another TSH. He treated TSZ like his own son, and raised him with love and care. TSZ might've ended up traumatized anyway... (given how TSH, FFYY and TSJ died, especially since TSJ chose not to meet with him again after coming back from the dead), but at least he didn't perpetuate TSH's trauma.
-----
Chapter 10:
Zhuan Xu remembered his mom and said with a sigh, “I don’t know! We can’t understand them! Sometimes I hate my mom, too. Right before she committed suicide, she held me in her arms and begged me to forgive her. She gave birth to me and then abandoned me. How can I forgive her?”
Xiao Liu said, “In the future if I have kids, I will never leave them no matter what happens.”
Zhuan Xu said, “In the future when I marry a wife, I will ask her whether she’ll die if I die first. If she wants to die with me then I don’t want her!”
Xiao Liu and Zhuan Xu looked at each other and started laughing.
-----
Chapter 34:
“My mother’s actions have shown me that hate will never end so killing you is a punishment to release anger but I don’t want us to incur another cycle of vengeance and let Zhen Er become the next Hou.”
Yi Yang stared at Jing and under the sunlight his features were clearly illuminated. He looked so much like Hou, but without the brash smirk and instead there was a clear placid gentleness. This was the first time that Yi Yang clearly saw what Jing looked like and she smiled. “I used to think you were weak and useless but today I realized that hate does not need intelligence but is the gut reaction of someone who is hurt. To forgive requires true intelligence and strength of character. Unfortunately I can’t do it which is why it was actually me who couldn’t match up to you. I still like an eye for an eye, which is why I’m the perfect match for Hou!”
Jing said as the door closed, “Until you can take care of Zhen Er, I will raise him well.”
-----
Chapter 50:
Jing asked Hu Zhen, “How is Zhen Er?”
“Good, very good!” Hu Zhen recounted all that happened to make Tu Shan Zhen the new clan leader and finished, “The new Clan leader may be the son of Tu Shan Hou and Fang Feng Yi Yang, but he was raised by you so has your bearing, I believe he will be a great clan leader.”
Jing Ye added, “We decided to tell him the truth because of all the rumors being circulated and he was bound to hear it. We handed him the letter from Fang Feng Yi Yang early and after learning his birth secret he was so devastated for some time. But he composed himself and accepted that his birth parents were in the wrong and still calls you dad and refers to Hou as his uncle.”
Jing said, “Death ends everything so when you guys have time, tell him stories of my brother when we were young and how close we were. Let him understand that my brother had his own reason for doing what he did, and that it was his grandmother who was wrong in the first.”
Jing Ye hated Hou so much but now that Jing was back she was able to start letting go. “I will do so.”
Hu Zhen saw through the underlying request, “Why not have you tell him? Are you planning to leave Qing Qiu?”
Jing smiled. “Tonight I came to say my farewells.”
Jing Ye started crying again as Hu Zhen asked, “Where are you going?”
Jing glanced at Xiao Yao. “I go wherever Xiao Yao goes.”
Hu Zhen held back saying more, now the Tu Shan clan was stable and the road that Jing and Xiao Yao took was so long and arduous.
Jing handed two jade cannisters to Hu Zhen. “One is for Zhen Er and the other to the clan elders.”
Hu Zhen took it carefully. “Don’t worry, we will protect and serve the clan leader until he is all grown up.”
The Jingers really are showing their true colors in the main comment section. Wow. We are here making jokes, having fun and writing essays that could be compiled in a book while they are in their echo chamber with nothing more than insults to hold their ground. Really sad to see.
What are they saying? I don't visit the main board because some people can get very irate whenever your opinion doesn't aligned with theirs, no matter how neutral/reasonable your phrasing is. I don't know how some of these people function in the real world.
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