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It's a pleasure for me to give you it's full content here in MDL, "Lost You Forever " S1, and later as it unfold, s2 full covering. Please do not comment in this thread. If you want to talk about Tushan Jing and/or XiaoYao; please post in our drama's Xiao-Jing main discussion thread , here is the link:
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Adding here for further exploration to our TH Thread exploration: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/122337-tong-hua-s-xiaojing-drama-novel-exploration-x1f49c
(@Winny Aye, @Peng-Peng, @Symbolika1)
All our raws and drafts, thoughts, all ongoing process and free thoughts as we further analyse.
Remember : If you want to talk about Tushan Jing and/or XiaoYao; please post in our drama's Xiao-Jing main discussion thread , here is the link:
S1 E01 -
No epic drama can open without some grand establishing shot, and so we sweep through the clouds into a cosy courtyard Zhaoyun Hall on Xiyan Mountain where a pair of young children and an old granny are spending what appeared to be a restful time.
A pretty and carefree young girl on a swing is showing off how high she can go, but the young boy she is with is not paying her any attention. Their granny is introduced as Xiling Xie and “Your Majesty” by a maid who brought medicine, but the little girl and little boy has no introduction.
The girl has a little flower mark on her forehead and appears to be bright, confident and cheeky. She called the boy Cang Xuan, and after some playful bickering and dialogue, we learn that young Cang Xuan’s parents are away fighting a war.
Five minutes into the drama, we already have a death heralded by sudden ominous clouds that distressed their old granny and caused her to collapse. She was obviously not well enough to attend her own son’s funeral, we see the King of Xiyan introduced along with the little girl’s mother Xiling Heng at what looks like a rather small scale funeral for a prince. 
The children tried to delay the sealing of the tomb as Cang Xuan’s mother has yet to arrive. They argue with their instantly unlikable Royal 9th Uncle, Xiyan Yi Peng, as Cang Xuan’s mother, Chang Pu arrived at last.
In the white snowy landscape with everyone in mourning clothes, she showed up calm and collected, in a blood red gown, which looked like a wedding dress.
This is very odd since as the wife of the deceased prince, she should not have been late to her husband’s funeral and also be in mourning clothes. Did they rush the funeral and not given her enough time to get back from wherever she was? Does she hate him and not want to give him the respect at his funeral?
After Chang Pu tenderly greeted her son, she turned her steely gaze on the 9th Prince and informed everyone present of his crime of intercepting military letters and withholding reinforcements, which led to the deaths of her husband and 6000 of her Ruoshui clansmen.
I wonder why as the wife of the 4th Prince, she is not referred to with a Royal title but just with her name?
She is also the leader of the Ruoshui clan who have supplied soldiers for the war.
As the Prince scoffed at her accusations, she stabbed him then and there to the shock and disbelief of everyone present.
Cang Xuan’s mother is certainly not the type to cower before power, or wait indefinitely for the ‘right opportunity’. She became the judge, jury and executioner to avenge her husband at his funeral. One wonders how she learnt of the truth and if the King of Xiyan was aware of it as well. Did he know the truth but tried to cover up for his other son?
As the soldiers seem to half-heartedly attempt to arrest Chang Pu, being easily kept at bay by an unarmed woman and a little girl, she has time to bid Cang Xuan a tearful farewell. She just loved her husband too much to stay behind, and entrusted her son to Xiling Heng as she stabbed herself and falls into the tomb as it sealed itself. Beautiful red flowers magically covered the tomb as poor Cang xuan cried for his mother. 
The little girl tries to cheer Cang Xuan up and get him to eat some nectar from the flowers she plucked. He is still very upset and can’t taste the sweetness of the nectar or the honey she brought. He could not understand why his mother chose to abandon him and leave him alone.
*** (to be continued)
***Symbolika1:
The little girl comforted him the best she could, and told him that her mother, granny and her will be keeping him company always. Little did she know……
The old granny lamented that she was useless and could not protect her son and her daughter-in-law.
We finally know the little girl’s name is Xiao Yao, as her mother assures the ailing granny, whom she addresses as Shifu/Master..that she will treat Cang Xuan like her own. We also find out that she is actually the Queen of Haoling, and she has decided to divorce the King, which means Xiao Yao is actually a princess.
On her deathbed, the granny asked the children to make to vow to cherish and support, to be there for each other always. What a strange kind of request to insist the children swear, but I guess she was very worried for Cang Xuan who will no longer have anyone on his side after she is gone.
And so, the old granny also passed away with only the three of them present.
Strange to think that the King of Xiyan was not around, does he have more than one wife? Does he not care? One would think she would have wanted her spouse with her on her deathbed, but it would seem that these royals are not happily married. 
Young Cang Xuan sat by himself, lost in his own thoughts, thoughts that are far too serious for a young child. He berated himself for not protecting his mother or look after his grandmother, and was feeling overwhelmed by helplessness.
To make his day worse, a gang of royal children arrived to taunt him for being unwanted and they beat him up.
Without his parents around and with an indifferent grandfather, Cang Xuan had become their easy target. It would appear the adults on Xiyan do not think children is to be coddled since not even a maid is assigned to watch over them. Perhaps it is because Xiyan is still at war, and cut-backs was necessary? Only one maid had been seen taking care of the old granny. 
Only armed with his teeth, Cang Xuan could not defend himself from the group of six boys and was getting the worst of it.
Xiao yao to the rescue! She told the leader of the pack Yue Liang to stop, but he mocked her for no longer having a father. Looks like Xiao yao’s mother has yet to tell her something as important as divorcing her father, and even though the news had spread far and wide, she only heard about it from this royal gang of little ruffians.
Instead of being upset, Xiao yao seemed unfazed by this news and proceeded to give all the bad children a beat-down. Possessing an impressive though clumsy spiritual fighting power, Xiao yao sent them sprawling with ease. She humiliated the boy who bullied Cang Xuan, as he watched on from the side.
The two children comforted each other as they promised to keep the reason for Cang Xuan’s injuries from Xiao Yao’s mother.
***to be continued
***to be continued
So that is why nobody is aware of the bullying.
I have to say it here, anyone reading this post, no matter if you are a child, teen or adult, if you are a victim of bullying, either physically or emotionally, do not internalize it and fight it alone. Reach out to friends and family. Adults are supposed to worry over you. Make them worry! That is what family is for.
If it so happens you are alone, society and community should be there for you. So please, reach out.
Don’t follow what Cang Xuan and Xiao yao are doing!
Xiling Heng is crying, as she finished writing something into books that are named Classic of herbs and Classic of poisons. She magically keeps them inside a pretty trinket.
Cang Xuan woke up and she told him she has been chosen to fight the war on behalf of Xiyan. He is upset at his grandfather for making her go, Are there no men capable of fighting the war? 
Xiling Heng does something rather morbid, which is to give the dagger that Cang Xuan’s mother killed herself with to him. It was a wedding gift from King of Haoling for his parents’ wedding – also a strange thing to gift for a marriage, is there some reason behind it? 
She then charges Cang Xuan the task of ‘defending and protecting’. I suppose as deities, these children might have lived for hundreds of years already but it is still quite weird to me for them to demand their children to take on such tasks when they themselves have limited resources to do the very same. 
She cryptically told Cang Xuan that “Xiao Yao is different from you“. Whatever could she mean?
Promises and waiting only brought news of her mother’s death on the battle field. But this sacrifice ended the war because the enemy’s General also perished and they could not recover from this defeat. 
The Xiyan King split up the children, by sending Xiaoyao to Mount Jade, to learn under the Queen Mother. The King told Cang Xuan that it is a simple and isolated place, and she will train Xiaoyao since she is friends with his grandmother.
It is to keep Xiaoyao safe. Cang Xuan begs his grandfather not to send her away, but the King realistically pointed out to him that he can’t protect Xiaoyao at all.
The day for Xiaoyao to leave for Jade Mountain came all too soon. The children both put on brave faces as they bid each other farewell and promise to meet again. They hid their tears until they were out of sight of each other. 
TIME JUMP : 300 years later
***To be continued
TIME JUMP : 300 years later
A storyteller is recapping the tale of the two orphans, but he is being an unreliable narrator.
Someone seems to know exactly what went down and corrected him under ‘his’ breath....
This person called Liu ge is some kind of successful fertility doctor. Seems popular and well liked by most of the villagers.
According to the story teller, young Cang Xuan was sent to Haoling as a hostage not long after Xiaoyao left, where he grew up to enjoy an easy, carefree life. Xiao liu has a sad smile as he listened to this.
We then cut to the grown up Cang Xuan, gazing sadly at the fox tail in his hand.
Contrary to what the storyteller just said, he definitely has not forgotten about Xiaoyao after three hundred years of living in Haoling. He hides the tail away when someone in the carriage calls him ‘brother’, so it is now obvious that this is something he hides from others.
These people arrived at Qingshui town, which is a free zone in Dahuang that belongs to neither Xiyan nor Haoling. 
Brother Xiaoliu is not only a fertility doctor, but apparently quite skilled at midwifery.
He successfully delivered a basket full of rabbits for the rabbit demon. 
At around this same time, Cang Xuan saw a young girl with a flower mark on her forehead, and gave chase. When he realized it was only a fashion ornament, he looks on about him at the girls all wearing similar designs.
Will be really find Xiaoyao here? 
As far as first episodes go, this drama did manage to capture my full attention with the fast pace and rather refreshing twists. How often do you see a ‘military sabotage’ trope so quickly taken care of? Usually that kind of plot point will be the hero’s revenge journey, but Cang Xuan’s mother handled that plot point with lightning efficiency.
For a xianxia, this drama is not excessively flashy with spiritual energies shooting here and there.
Especially in episode one, it feels strangely grounded more like a wuxia drama.
Cinematography is quite beautiful and pleasing. The sets are not completely CG which adds that subtle richness to every scene.
The many characters introduced in this episode, did not have alot of screen time but they made the most of what they had and was able to leave a deep impression. The child actors were particularly impressive, and I was quite emotional over their misfortunes.
Story wise, there seems to be no prophecy of doom which is a huge plus for me.
The royal family seem dysfunctional with the usual palace politics.
The King of Xiyan has many sons and many grandchildren, so Cang xuan was not cherished even though his father had sacrificed himself for the nation. and allowed to become an outcast.
Xiao yao’s mother does not tell her anything and the children are made to take on heavy things beyond their age. How can she tell a child to swear to protect another, when the adult herself is incapable of protecting them?
There is no trusted guardian to keep watch over the children while Xiling Heng is away.
They must really be short-handed and have no one trustworthy at all to depend on. I suppose extracting that promise from Cang Xuan is an act of desperation in itself. Honestly though, did she even think its possible for a child without any backing or favor, to be able to protect her daughter?
It is also established that deities seem very much mortal, in the sense that they fall sick or get killed like normal humans. In this episode alone, we have at least 6 deaths – Cang xuan’s parents, the Nineth prince, Granny who was ill and succumbed to grief and finally Xiao Yao’s mother and Chen Rong’s General.
In the first episode, three mothers passed.
They made their choices, and left behind their defenseless young to fend for themselves in the world. Granny’s death was not by choice since her health seemed poorly, but Cang Xuan’s mother died for love and Xiaoyao’s mother died for country.
There is running theme about abandonment and unkept promises that will continue in the later episodes.
The End of S01Ep1
(to be continued with Ep2)
S1 Ep02:
Nian, princess of Haoling, also ‘sister’ to Cang Xuan, picked up on his disappointment as he knows it won’t be so easy to find Xiao Yao. She asked him what was wrong, and he smoothly deflected her questions by getting her interested to check out the talking Stone in the village.
On the way to the Stone, Nian bumped into Xiaoliu who was just leaving, and Fate teased their reunion by having Cang Xuan and Xiaoyao walking right past the other.
We get a very fast introduction to just how much of a ‘princess’ Nian is.
She felt everything is this village is dirty and smelly since she got here. 
Xiaoliu overheard her.
She good-naturedly sniffed herself to check, but shrugged it off.
Cang Xuan looks over with a look that does not seem unfriendly.
** I am going to refer to Xiaoliu as her, since we all know she is Xiaoyao anyway.
Even though as Xiaoliu, she is not pretending to be male, but is physically male.
The Stone spirit, as an unreliable narrator, picked up from when he left off, about the story of Cang Xuan and Xiaoyao’s sad tale of separation.
Coincidentally, its jabs Cang Xuan right in the guts when it mentioned how Xiaoyao went missing after her brother failed to pick her up from Mount Jade. It would seem Sang and Nian are very much aware of how he blames himself for this.
We hear that both the King of Xiyan, Xiaoyao’s maternal grandfather and her father, King of Haoling had tried to find her over the years but they were unsuccessful. 
As the Stone spirit ended the storytime for the day, Sang leapt up to approach the Stone spirit but was stopped by Cang Xuan.
While Xiaoliu goes home to the clinic Hui Chun Tang ( Rejuvenation Hall ).
She sees Pimply hanging out with the girl he likes, and gets this 姨母笑 knowing smile that we viewers get when we see Xiaoyao’s own romance scenes. 
The warm, happy family moment, got serious when the subject of a new shop opening comes up. Everyone is worried that it may be another clinic that will affect their business.
Cut to the new shop being discussed, and we see Cang Xuan and Sang manually cleaning the messy place.
By. Hand.
I can’t say how refreshing it is, to see deities not using spiritual magic to do a Disney-style montage where things get done with a snap of the fingers. I like the rules and limitations of this world already.
There is no other help and even the Princess’s handmaid just stands by watching on with the Princess, without lifting a finger to help. The two men set things up and we see that Cang Xuan had planted a tree that was magicked in from off screen. 
Instead of being moved, Nian pouted that it’s not in bloom since its not the right season.
Cang Xuan indulgently expanded some spiritual power to let the tree burst into full bloom.
Me: thank goodness the spirit power CGI looks very nice and not the horrible cartoon kind.
Nian is now delighted as Cang Xuan looks on with a faint smile, but thinks about Xiaoyao, his actual favorite person. 
That night, Sang finds Cang xuan drinking alone, thinking of Xiaoyao.
Sang comforted him that she won’t blame him if she knew how tough his life had been all this time. 
Cang Xuan reminded Sang that their cover mission is to come to Qing Shui town to search for the Cheng rong’s rebel army. He cautioned Sang that they cannot let his Fifth and Seven uncles know that he is searching for Xiaoyao. 
That same night, Xiaoliu sits alone drinking as she thinks back to the words of the Stone Spirit about how Cang Xuan was exiled but enjoying his life with the second princess in Hao ling. She smiles a little sad smile, and goes off to bed. 
***(To be continued)
continued)
Xiaoliu tried to shirk her duty to wash the dishes that day. As Fate would have it, Mu chased her with a paddle so she went down to the river to get it done. 
As she was washing up, she noticed stocks/herons? flying in by the river. 
EXTRAS :
Perhaps Jing’s divine mount left him by the river as he wanted, it would be hard to imagine him crawling all the way there on his own, in his dying condition. And if he had access to his mount, but chose to die alone rather than go back to his family, that act in itself is so heartbreaking.
In the novel, Tushan Jing has his own 坐骑 divine mount 狸狸 which is a Heron.
” 鹤在文人笔下一直是高洁、俊雅的象征。
鹤的形象也经常与人的诚挚守信、修身洁行的品格相连 ” ( google )
As for his choice of a mount, also builds up Jing’s personality.
The Heron is often depicted as a noble and elegant creature. They are also seen as sincere and cultivated.
In the drama, maybe due to production budget, we never see Jing traveling on his mount.
What a pity, but I really hope that for season 2, there is one epic scene where I really, really want to see Jing arrive on his heron mount.
The birds took off but something in the grass moved. Xiaoliu threw a big rock, hoping to score one for her next meal.
She excitedly ran to see what she hit, she saw that she had struck a beggar who was lying in the tall grass.
Her smile froze once she saw him lying there.
She left him alone, and goes off to begin her work day, telling herself to mind her own business. 
Pimply and Skinny are by the river and even though they were afraid at first to see someone they do not know, Pimply kindly threw his biscuit to him. Skinny threw a flower to see if there will be a reaction. They get called away before either could see if the beggar would eat.
We see the beggar reaching out towards the flower instead of the food.
After Xiaoliu finished her visits and returned to the clinic, Pimply brought some melon seeds to butter her up. He tentatively brought up the sensitive subject about the beggar by the river.
Its a little funny thinking of the context being, how a human is begging a deity to help a beggar, with some melon seeds as offerings.
Xiaoliu seemed to stick to her earlier decision to not extend any help to the beggar, but she made an excuse to go to the river after her meal. She still has a soft tofu heart in spite of her jaded words.
There, she saw the beggar holding up the flower instead of the biscuit.
She remembered a time when she herself was caged but reached out to the one beautiful thing within her grasp. She stepped on the biscuit as an excuse to help the beggar. 
Back in the clinic, everyone was horrified to see the extent of the beggar’s injuries.
Mu and Xiaoliu could tell this person is a deity. Mu remarked seeing how he had been tortured within an inch of his life, instead of just being killed quickly, meant someone out there really hated this person. Do they really want to cross someone like that to help him?
***(To be continued)
***
Xiaoliu did not say anything but continued to do her prep.
Xiaoliu accessed his various injuries, and proceeded to break the deformed right knee to reset his leg.
She spoke kindly to prepare the beggar for the pain and he braced himself.
Skinny was amazed that he did not utter a sound even as he passed out while she broke his bones three times.
That night, Cang Xuan and Sang visited the Stone spirit who claimed to know everyone in Qingshui Town. With his magical CCTV capabilities, they checked the identities of the non-human residents in town.
I have to note that, Cang Xuan has grown into a charming person.
Being royalty, even just with his status as a high level deity, he did not look down on the Stone spirit. Not only did he give a very generous payment for the potential information, he also treated the Stone Spirit ( demon ) with polite respect.
After he infused the stone and boosted its abilities with his own spirit power, the stone managed to show the ‘true faces’ of these individuals, and the stone finally fell onto the beggar and Xiaoliu.
It actually really worked! But the trio did not know any better.
Cang Xuan found his Xiaoyao, but since the Stone was unable to see past her current form, Cang Xuan was once again bitterly disappointed to see two male deities instead.
The Stone spirit shared his intel: Xiaoliu has stayed in Qingshui town for decades and took in a Xiyan deserter Mu, and two human orphans. It does not know who the injured man is.
***(to be continued)
***(to be continued)
Xiaoliu had fallen asleep by the beggar’s side.
The hot wax from the candle began dripping down and the beggar who had woken up then, chose to use his own hand to block it, instead of waking the tired doctor.
Its the next morning.
Xiaoliu woke up to see there was hardened wax on the beggar’s bandaged hand, and she was moved by his kind nature. 
To their dismay, their medicines had not helped, and the beggar with a high fever, seemed to be drawing his last breath.
(to continue) + linkhttps://whysodrama.com/2023/08/15/lost-you-forever-s1-e02/
Chapter 14...
Analysis Part 1
Their First Meeting As Tushan Jing and Xiao Yao
Xiao Yao had been swimming all night long.
Her tiredness was so clear she did not want be in the water anymore. But her emotion was a little lighter with day light was likely coming soon. She finally met with her Tushan Jing, who just flew and dive down to save her. And yep...I really like the little details when Jing carried Xiao Yao, he was as trembling as her and also when he was likely to fall down, he made sure that his Wen Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao did not get hurt. I know Xiao Yao was very pleased with it.
Abstract
Both of them were trembling until they could not speak. Xiao Yao heard the sound of her upper and lower teeth clicking against each other. She felt both sad and funny. She concentrated on getting dressed. She never thought that she would appeared such the most miserable state.
Xiao Yao said, her voice shaking because of the cold. "Don't...don't...in the water." As she had already immersed in the sea for one night, she really didn't want to continue soaking.
Jing picked her up and climbed onto the rock. But he staggered a few steps. His foot slipped and fell. He was afraid that Xiao Yao would be get hurt, therefore he used his back to protect her as he hit the ground with a loud thud. It probably hurt quite a bit. Xiao Yao laughed. "Yo....you...fox......stupid...." Finally reaching the shore, Jing carried Xiao Yao and walked to a rocky ridge that could shelter him from the wind.
It is totally different from how she was treated in previous scene. And I also like Xiao Yao' humor in hearing the clicking sound of her upper teeth and lower teeth, and also her disappointment her pretty dress getting ruined for this date.
Emotional and Physical Attraction
This was the first time Jing got to near his Wen Xiao Liu in female body. In previous chapter, we had already seen him went awe with her beauty.
Abstract
She felt sad and decided to return. "I'll have to teach A Nian a hard lesson once and for all. "
Xiao Yao stood up and said. “I am going back.”
Jing hurriedly got up and pulled her arm. But he immediately let go of his hand, as if he had been electrocuted and his face felt was burning. Gao Xin's clothes were light and flowing. The wet dress was so attached to the body. When Xiao Yao was sitting curled up so she could not feel it. Now standing up when looking at it, the waist was a waist, the chest was a chest, it's very clearly visible.
Xiao Yao saw the expression on his face. She looked down and looked at herself. Then she immediately lowered herself to sit down.
In here, we clearly seen him go all burning or red with getting to near her and saw the total picture of her body. In previous chapter Jing was already moved by Wen Xiao Liu. But I guess Xiao Yao takes him to another level of attraction.
The Mentioning of Feng Fang Yi Yang
Xiao Yao's mind was on A Nian again. Since this date was sort of probably not beautiful as she expected, I guess that her protected nature for her family came back. But Jing definetly wanted spend more time with her as much as chance gave him. He was just so direct in telling how he waited for her. This angered her.
Abstract
Xiao Yao walked in front of him. Her eyes were filled with anger and hurt. “You thought you had been waiting all night is difficult, right? You have a fiancé! You and her go out together lots of times.
You use various methods to remind me of the promise I made to you at all times. Since you don't believe in me Why must I keep a promise?"
I would like to tell you. Last night to keep the promise I made to you, I almost die!” Xiao Yao pushed hard. “I won't play anymore. I'd like to take back my promise! You go back to Qing Qiu quickly and marry Fangfeng Yiying!”
Jing didn't dare to respond. But he was stubborn and refused to give up. “I will not marry her. In fact, she does not love me. Probably not agreeing to marry me", Xiao Yao stopped pushing. “I don't believe it! Why wouldn't she love you?”
“My leg is crippled. I could see that she was both shocked and disappointed. One time, she saw the scars on my body and was so shocked that..." The truth was that telling "shocked" was a roundabout way of speaking. At that time, her face was white. Her facial expressions was that of shock and fear. She didn't dare look at him even for a moment. Since then, when the two of them were alone together she would keep her distance from him.
When I first read it I wondered why she was this angry. Was she really because of thinking he blame her to take chance or is it because there was some emotional insecurity in her? Her mentioning of Feng Fang Yi Yang(telling him straight to go with Feng Fang Yi Yang..although its sort of he sarcastic action) is the answer. I think she felt that insecurity as well as jealousy . I do not think she was happy to make him wait all night. But at the same time there is this feeling of wanting him to feel pain, and insecurity that he might not care enough for her. Because she was giving a chance to a man with a tie. For a woman, even if she had confidence the man truly loves but still their love was something that could be opened to aurrounding. I am feeling she probably this a bit low comparing with Feng Fang Yi Yang. Yet she's not able to let go of him. She cares about him and craves for the affection he's giving her.
The mentioning of Fang Feng Yi Yang not only provoke insecurity in Xiao Yao but also Jing, because it reminded him of her disgust for his scars.
Xiao Yao is Bold
Xiao Yao' anger actually provokes Jing's insecurity. We can actually see that it's sincere because it's in his thinking. And if she wanted to go, he will definetly let her. And to Xiao Yao, Jing's scars are not at all unattractive. In truth she did not to take back this 15 years promise in which she sealed it with her kiss. The act definetly shows Xiao Yao definetly choose Tushan Jing. But his refusal to her was a disappointment. I like how she let out explicit things even before her feminie mind realized it.
Abstract
Scene 1
“Jing, look up!" Tushan Jing, raised your head." Jing raised his head slowly. Xiao Yao brought her face closer to his. She muttered softly, “Last night a man forced me to kiss him. Now all I can think about is wanting to kiss you.” Her lips placed a soft kiss on his lips. Jing's body shook for once. Instantly, he fell backwards to escape Xiao Yao. “Don't...Xiao Yao" Xiao Yao closed her eyes and looked up, both cheeks were blushed. Her body trembled. “Jing...Jing....”
Xiao Yao's soft voice was shaking that almost incomprehensible. Jing felt like he was trembling. His kiss touched the light red spot in the center of Xiao Yao's forehead. It was as if a group of flames were burning from the middle of Xiao Yao's forehead towards his heart, warmed up his ice-cold heart.
Scene 2
Xiao Yao secretly looked at him from between her fingers. “I think when men saw women, they almost rushed to take them to bed and take off all the clothes…” Xiao Yao could not go on anymore. Since returning to female form, subconsciously, she could no longer speak as shamelessly as Xiao Liu. Especially now she almost swallowed the words she had said a moment ago.
In scene 2, it's also showing her female hormone was more gentler than the more free spirited Wen Xiao Liu. But Xiao Yao is bold enough to initiate on her man. And I have a feeling it all comes to her naturally.
The Passionate Gentleman
In this scene, we especially learnt of Tushan Jing's past and his experiences on female and male matters. Definetly, we know the man had values and protected himself.
Abstract
Jing maybe proper and had always strived to protect himself. However, he was the one who held power in the family. He went in and out of entertainment venues until it became normal. Moreover, it was rare for young members of a large family to not have some fun from time to time. Jing was a man. He knew all about men matters. In the business field, let alone the words that were more explicit, he had even seen the more obscene matters. But then he did not feel anything. He could just talk and laugh normally. With Xiao Yao, he was feeling restless as if being licked by the burning fire. He make a concise excuse: "I... am not like that."
It is clear Wen Xiao Liu aka Xiao Yao is his first love and the context explained about his desire with but concealed it. He was all refined and acting gentleman, but deep down he had this passion in desire of Xiao Yao. This is probably his first time experience this kind of desire. It sometimes does not have to do with how much he know about the stuffs.
His Insecurity and Refusal to Kiss Her
Despite his desire, he still refuses to kiss her on the lips. According to the context, he did not want her to do that because he thought she pities him. What he does not know is that his refusal actually caused some insecurities in Xiao Yao.
Abstract
So he said in a low voice: "It's not time yet." “When is that possible?” Xiao Yao half closed her eyes. She covered her face with her hands to conceal embarrassment.
Jing couldn't answer. Because that had to be decided by Xiao Yao, not him. It's not that he didn't want to. But it was...he wanted to receive her love. He didn't want her to do it just because she felt sorry for him. Xiao Yao had given him a lot. It's already too much. He didn't want to take advantage of her kindness any longer
According to this passage, it's clear Jing must have this feeling that whether if he was taking advantage of her, probably he thought she was just feeling sorry at times. (However with Jing's intelligence he could already had guessed Xiao Yao's attraction toward him since chapter 1 which made him knew she's a female.). According to my opinion, all these insecurity came from his scars of being tortured. He had this fear of losing her at any times. But yep as times went by he would be able to confidence on Xiao Yao's affaction for him.
The Promised is Sealed Again
Even with the insecurities, both Xiao Yao and Jing seal their promise, in their original status, again. This scene is fun to read. It's like the couple who experienced attraction and yet try to hide their passion, especially Jing.
The background scenery is also meaningful. It was still dim, they were in front of dragon bone prison. The light had not much arrive to them yet. It totally gives the vibe of their love was still hidden under the dark. And its not shown into the world yet. But even in the dark, being together gives them happiness.
Winny Aye:I had told some of my friends before that i would like to share ...a sweet passionate kiss scene from chapter 20 before february ends ... i guess this time is best suited. Koala version is really good but i feel the thai ver has a bit of different tone...so i will share it here..
Chapter 20
.....
There were only them left in the room. Xiao Yao shot Jing a cold expression while asking, “Why don't you come to see me? If I don't come to you, don't you know how to find me at all?” Jing said, “I have gone to see you." Last night, he hid in the trees and watched until she fell asleep and then disappeared. “You peeped at me?”
“It is not considered as "yes". I didn't come close. Just seeing your silhouette..." Jing explained in a voice that became softer every moment. Xiao Yao laughed and asked, “Do you want to see me?” Jing nodded his head once. He wanting to see her, that was why he came to little Zhu Rong's mansion.
Xiao Yao said. “I told Xing Yue that I want to learn to play the harp(zither) with you. If you teach me how to play the harp(zither), you will see me every day." Jing smiled excitedly. Xiao Yao asked knowingly.
“Am I very smart?”
Jing smiled and nodded his head.
Xiao Yao saw his eyebrows and eyes relaxed because of his smile. She couldn't help but feel heartache. When everyone went hunting, he was sitting alone with what kind of expression on his face? When he walked towards Yi Yang, ut Yi Yang was stunned and looked at him with disdain. What expression did he have on his face?
Xiao Yao hugged him, and put her face leant on his shoulder. Xiao Yao's demeanor was soft, gentle, and sincere. Even without saying a single word, but she had completely expressed her feelings in her heart. Jing hugged Xiao Yao, buried his face in her hair. Jing felt that the days were peaceful and beautiful. He didn't wish for anything else anymore. The two hugged each other in silence for a long time, so long that they forgot the time.
A soft voice was heard from outside. Xiao Yao seemed to get startled and raised her head. Jing caressed her head affectionately, “Nothing, it's just two servants. This time are Jing Ye and Hu Ya. Even if they see us, it doesn't matter."
Xiao Yao smiled, pushed Jing to the side of the bed, and said, “I would like to take a closer look at this leg of yours again.”
Jing sat and leaned on the pallet. Xiao Yao knelt on his side, slowly feeling from his ankles upwards, knead all the way to the knees. Then slowly descend from the knees. It stoped at the place where the bone was broken. Xiao Yao thought for a moment. She checked again and again for a while. Finally, she said to Jing: “I can heal your leg. Yes, although it cannot be said that it will be completely cured, but when walking, there will definitely be no abnormality being seen.” Jing asked, “Do you disdain it?"
Xiao Yao shook her head and then bent down to kiss Jing's injury for once. Jing's body trembled violently. Xiao Yao was also shocked by her own actions. She felt extremely embarrassed, so she let go and sat with her head bowed silently. Jing moved to sit beside her. “If you don't disdain it, just don't treat it yet."
“But... But I care about others being disgusted. Well, it's not like I really care. I just don't want anyone to belittle you...I just want you to be happy. I think you.." Jing put his index finger on Xiao Yao's lips and didn't allow her to continue speaking.
“I understand. You are worried that I will be upset by others' disgusted glances. But no, Xiao Yao…” Jing's hand rubbed from her forehead down. “Just only you be willing to take one look at me, no matter what kind of eyes others use to look at me, I cannot be harmed at all." Xiao Yao bit her lip. While she was thinking about speaking, suddenly, she felt that Jing's breathing seemed to become more rapid. His body leaned toward hers, and in that blink of an eye Xiao Yao even forgot what she had planned to say. Jing gently kissed the corner of her mouth. Xiao Yao closed her eyes, and didn't dare to move. Jing kissed the other corner of her mouth. Xiao Yao still did not dodge. Finally, he gently sucked Xiao Yao's lips. Jing's lips were warm, soft, and moist. It reminded Xiao Yao of the guppies on a summer morning. When she was young, she used to bring dew-soaked guppies, pursed it on her mouth, then gently suck out the nectar. Mild sweetness seeping from her mouth to throat, from the throat flowing smoothly to the heart . Only this time she was a guppy flower that had been sucked by Jing. Jing sucked and used the tip of his tongue to lightly drag across Xiao Yao's lips, round again and again. He then affectionately inserted the tip of his tongue into Xiao Yao's mouth.
Xiao Yao's body went limp. Her head fell back weakly. She didn't understand, even though Jing was the one who suck her, but why did she still feel sweet? It was also sweeter than the nectar from the guppies' flowers. Sweet from the mouth to the throat. Sweet from the throat to the heart. Then it spread throughout her entire being, causing her to lose her strength.
Xiao Yao slowly and weakly fell on to bed. Jing lifted her head and look at Xiao Yao. Her hair was messy. Her beautiful lips slightly open Both cheeks were flushed red. Her long eyelashes fluttered like a frightened butterfly. Jing couldn't resist kissing Xiao Yao's eyelashes, using his lips to gently conceal it, not letting them be shocked again. But he liked to see them shocked because of him, so then he let them out. He kissed Xiao Yao's cheek. He was glad they were colored by the evening sun because of him. He kissed Xiao Yao's hair. He loved the way they curled up between his fingers.
Xiao Yao opened her eyes timidly. But she didn't dare open all. She kept her eyes closed halfway. The corners of her mouth filled with a smile. Jing couldn't resist sucking the corner of her mouth, thinking of absorbing that smile into his heart to preserve forever. Xiaoyao smiled and said, "Sweet."
“Huh?”
Jing didn't understand what she was saying.
Xiao Yao hid in his arms. “Your kiss is sweet taste.” Jing understood. He kissed her happily. “Because you are sweet. I only absorbed a little bit of your sweetness.”
Xiao Yao moaned softly, and she shrunk and hid herself in Jing's arms, intending to avoid his lips, “Ticklish.”
The desire within Jing's body became intense that he didn't dare to touch Xiao Yao again. He only hugged her loosely. Xiao Yao raised her head. Her eyes shone brightly, "Why?"
"What Why?"
“Why now? Last time on the beach I invited you...you refused."
“I don't know, maybe it's because you're too good. Or maybe it's because I'm being selfish right now. Just thinking about myself. Or maybe it was because just now you were so…” Jing smiled, looking at Xiao Yao. The last words are barely sounded. Xiao Yao could only guess from the shape of his mouth that it probably meant the word "alluring". Xiao Yao smacked Jing's chest once. But, Jing caught her fist to brought it his lips and kissed it hard.
Xiao Yao's heart pounded loudly. She felt that in matters between men and women, men and women are very different. Although she seemed to be the one initiating bravely, but when it reachd a certain level, she instead couldn't help but feel embarrassed, excited, and flustered. Although she had had expectations deep down but still felt scared by her own instinct. As for Jing, who looked shy and quiet. But when it reached a certain level, he would instead be the one to push hard, following his own instinctive desire only to possess without any fear.
....
Happy Purple Day To All..
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