The Finale: Discussion

I see a lot of people don't like the ending.  For me I do understand it, all thought I don't agree with the way she did it.

At that point, I feel mixed feelings from her. I think with her stopping writing she lost who she was. She was abused by her co-worker by them changing her work, sexual harassment on top of 3yr love destroyed and left with no where to turn to but him. So she's replacing that with his "our". She ends up getting conflicted with his emotions and hers + the past. For me, once she decided to sue and write again- she enters a new phase of herself. And I see that with her rock climbing. She's healing and growing. With her meeting his dad, she really feels the effect of the marriage on other people  and the difference with her brother. Its the conflict of this is not right. She understands that Se Hee is stuck in the past, he turns cold there and hurts her. Her bobble of them was broken. I questioned if they loved each other or was it just cuz it was convenient for sure. You see her interest and him change. BUT is it love?

I am not found of her just going, but he did not stop her too. We all know she knew he was going to ask her that night, but instead she broke it off. He lost his open communication with her that he had at the start. Both of them really...why? Cuz "love" was in the way.  Once he dose not stop her, for me I don't blame her for going. I blame her for not really going anywhere- I thought she went to go get stars and grow as a person. Maybe she dose but its not an "OMG she's an adult person ready to take on the world" moment.   From him we know that it was less than a month. I wish they were open about their needs. I feel horrible for him but he did need it as he stopped living after his last break up. It was something like " don't be happy" and so he was not. The damage was huge. As a writer, she saw it. 

The cake " our day one" is too much for me. I get them re-meeting at the place, its a full circle moment. But I hate that, I feel like he lost everything and is no longer an adult. Like why can't he be broken at his friends house LOL like I get it, his old house represents who he was blah blah- but I'd rather have her walk back there instead. When he is mad- her smile creeps me out. I want her to find out he punch that guy instead.  i like their ending- fits them. I do wish that they did not keep on doing contracts 

 HoRang and WonSeok's storyline- Her bubble world... Their communication is by far the worst. 7yrs of not saying what you want/need in life But just assuming the other person understood and think of it on their own. Look I get it, 7yrs and you think " We will get married!" 7yrs is along time to not talk about the future. I would have for sure been asking about life goals and seeing if they matched. Its understandable that he was not ready, he was focused on not failing at work. I did not want them to get back together, I want them to move on from their "childhood" love and grow.    

Sooji and Ceo Ma- Their plot is for sure the less focused but at lest they never act like kids lol They have the most adult understanding of each other lol

---- oh this is long.... going to go now LOL

I like happy endings and closure with my characters which is perhaps why I'm drawn to most K-dramas.  "Because This Is My First Life" struck me as fresh because the characters were more true to life and some of their conversations are actually some I've had myself, particularly regarding the changing institution of marriage.  So when Ji Hoo chooses to annul the contract, I was taken aback.  I thought she was rash and selfish, not settling into the role I want my female leads to adopt when wrapping up relationships.  

But then I was reminded of a movie I saw many years ago:  "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir."  A single mom, her mother, and the two kids move into a somewhat isolated seafront home that formerly belonged to a ship's captain who supposedly committed suicide in the upstairs bedroom.  Now he haunts the house in an effort to evict them.  Unfortunately for him, the woman is his match in temperament and it isn't long before they fall into a comfortable and easy relationship.  He helps her write a successful book based on his own life and the sales of the book provide her with a steady income.  When suitors begin to court her, he is jealous and causes trouble.  She's not keen on getting married again, but she also doesn't like the idea of him interfering in her private life.  After some thought of what she's said, he watches her as she sleeps, makes a tearful farewell, and disappears from her life.  Only when it is her time to pass on does he return for her.  At first, I was adamantly opposed to the ending, but as I've aged, I've realized that the correct choice was made.  She needed to grow and move on with her life -- key word being "life."  

Between Se Hee and Ji Hoo there are several things happening.  First is the mistaken gender identity of their names which sometimes extends itself to their behavior.  A feature often equated with men is the stoic face.  Some have criticized Ji Hoo for this,  but it's an important aspect of her character.  More than once you will observe that she's trying to pat her face free of emotion, particularly when she is frustrated or hurt.  She even applauds herself at one point for managing a poker face.  

Likewise, Se Hee keeps a straight face as a self-defense mechanism, so he is astutely aware of Ji Hoo's expressionless features.  After the failed breakfast, he tells Kitty, "I think she's pissed."  Later, when marriage is on the table, he says, "I think we are of like mind," but it isn't just referring to her need for a room and his for income.  It's also about shared temperament.

When Won Seok breaks up with Ho Rang because he believes they each need to examine how they honestly feel about the other, the act is accepted as reasonable.  Yet, when Ji Hoo annuls the contract and leaves Se Hee to do much the same thing, she is vilified.  This double standard is unfair to her much in the same way that the patriarchal system and the gender inequality in the workplace are also unfair.

Ji Hoo is eight years younger than Se Hee, still a virgin, never dated, and never known romantic love.  She shares her first kiss on the beach with Se Hee (peck at the bus stop doesn't count) and is afterwards uncomfortably aware that she is sexually attracted to this man.  She's in a difficult spot.  Her experience as a screenwriter is telling her to fall for the cliche and acknowledge that this must be the one who will fulfill her dream of finding love.  

But Ji Hoo is smart.  The chemistry of living in close quarters with a handsome man who has found love and even conceived (and lost) a child through love is dangerous for them both.  Unlike Soo Ji, Ji Hoo needs love to be the real thing -- not a casual encounter.  

And this is the reason why the breaking of the contract and the separation is so important, because Se Hee can recognize true love, but Ji Hoo cannot. This is the point in the hero's journey when she (and Se Hee) must enter the abyss, die, and then be reborn.  This is why the house and all that it symbolizes must be sold.  And this is why their new beginning is best made on the roof top, where true love has been found and shared between Won Seok and Ho Rang.