i’m gonna die

so many details i don’t think any amount of rewatching could make it 100% clear. it’s tense and scary during the adults povs. i don’t think ive ever been so antsy in my entire life watching a movie. but then suddenly that all goes away when the kids pov hit. i think the entire time i was expecting an answer to everything that was going on and while we saw all the povs, we never really got one, and i feel like it’s kinda the point? even the ending is as ambiguous as it was during the start. but while the movie started with little to no hope and just that overwhelming feeling that this is going to go badly, the ending is filled with so much hope and happiness. but i still sobbed so so hard thinking that it was sad. but it wasn’t really though.

i think i expected the worst to happen because that’s what every one else expected. you could tell the mom was loosing hope. so much to the point where every time she lost sight of minato, she thought he had died. and the teacher had lost all hope in the people around him that he had no strength for himself. but we don’t really think about those things as a kid. we don’t think about those around us and how sad our lives are getting. it’s a type of innocence i didn’t know could be captured this well until i watched this movie.

i saw somewhere that there’s a scene of the kids looking back into the camera as the last shot and im so so glad they didn’t keep that in. in the last scene, they never look back, running towards the place where a gate used to stand. and while ambiguous, it makes it even more happy. they are running, not thinking of anyone but themselves, towards a place that’s void of obsticles and things holding them back. there is no possibility of any “monsters” around them. by getting through the storm, they were able to see a life of no gate blocking them.

the director said they made this on the basis that they are alive, but that in the end it’s up to the viewers. and i think that keeping them alive is so so so much more powerful than killing them. so many queer stories end on the basis of someone dying or just being depressing in general. but for this to have such an emotional story and it still turning out happy, is more powerful and meaningful.
i think the whole basis of this movie is made to make people think the ending will be of the boys being “reincarnated” or being together but in a different life. but i don’t think thats what the boys meant when talking about those things. they never wanted to leave their lives, they never wanted to be reincarnated, they just wanted to be together. and by the end, they are finally able to do that. they get to run off into the distance and have it actually mean a happy ending, and have it actually be the story of their lives.

my favorite line is like the last line of the movie when hoshikawa asks whether they’ve been reincarnated or not.

“were we reborn?”
“there’s no such thing as reincarnation”

“we weren’t?”
“we weren’t, we are still the same.”

i just think that this being the last line of the movie just solidifies the fact that it’s a happy ending. they don’t need different lives or different bodies. they can be happy and hopeful now in this life.

there’s so much going on in this movie i’m so surprised it was all packing into 2 hours. each person has their own life and own view on the things happening around them. it’s almost as if every single part is its own story.

idk this felt so magical i felt like i was flying or something. and i so genuinely thought i was going to leave this movie so depressed but it’s like the opposite and this rarely ever happens with these types of movies so im kinda over the moon right now.

but i still did cry a lot so im gonna nap!!!!!!!!!!

and NO IM NOT IN DENIAL THEY DIDNT DIE DONT BE SILLY!!!!

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LAWWWWWDDDDD

REEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!! i love love love watching actors who i’ve only seen play like dark and mysterious character finally play someone goofy and quirky!!!!!! this was sooooooooo cute. why do the best kdrama plots always ending being so short like let’s talk about that please cause i KNOW this could have been a full 12-16 ep kdrama or even like 8. bitch it was too cute i started clawing at the screen. and please for the love of god cast kim do hoon as leads more. i doesn’t even have to be romance. ILL TAKE ANYTHING. this just made me oh so so happy. like so adult trainee vibes.ROMANCE. FUN. SPARKLES. GLITTER. RAINBOW. LOVE. HAPPINESS.

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I WANT TO TWINKLE!!

its always choi hyun wook thats getting hurt and making men cry. AND THEN I CRY!! 

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RAAAA RAAADJAKDJAKSJAKSKAMAJDKALDJAKDIALXJAJSKSXJKDAJK. this is what happiness as a women feels like!!! IM A GIRL AND IM HAPPY!!!! oh boy do i feel slow mo running on a beach!! there must be something laced in choi hyun wook dramas because every single one is MAGICAL BITCH THIS WAS TOOOO CUTE!!! started it when like 2 ep were out and have been keeping up every week and theres jusg something about watching a kdrama every week, keeping up with the cast, and guessing plot twist that jusg make me oh so so happy. and that mixed with the fact that this has gotta be one of the best dramas out this year. EEK! everything was such a ten out of ten. no bad ep, no boring charsacters, no drawn out plot lines, best cast ever like you cant find something as perfect as this. unfortunately  it would get to the point where i saved up episodes because i didnt want to have to go a week without it….and then i would somehow get spoiled BUT I DONT CARE!!!! 

thisll be one for the generations and if i ever have kids this will be there cocomelon. ive added the ost to spotify playlists. ive made the pinterest boards. bitch its even infultraded my wallpaper. i see eun gyeols smile in my dreams. i hear chung ahs voice AND SHE DOESNT EVEN SOEAK. ive lost it.

also bitch that last episode. constantly crying. i’m so tired after watching it was like 45 min of pure sadness and then all the sudden i was happy crying for the last 30. it wrapped up so so perfectly. and the parts of the “kid” actors coming back in KILLED ME BITCH. 

idk just might be the best thing ever idk idk idk im gonna go sleep for a very very long time i just cried my eyes out i’m so tired. 

also yoon cheong ah is such a cutie patootie like that’s gf right there!!!! and this made me have like a two week insane obsession with ryeoun….lots of pinterest searches were made. i’ve never ended my choi hyun wook obsession and let’s just say business proposal got watched many many times during the span of this thanks to seol in ah. idk just maybe the best cast ever!!!!!!! 

viva la vidaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????

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my family!!!

LONDON I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I LOST MY QUEEN TOO (the show ended and now i’m bored) 

but fr idek know how to describe a show like this like who needs medication when you have su zai zai. it felt like 24 episodes of the tightest hug ever. it gave every character a chance to shine and talked about family problems, love, friends, school and even hot people!! i cried so much but i’ll admit every time su zai zai came on screen i giggled so much i think i started to plan our wedding

coming of age cdramas are saur superior it’s crazy and now i think i have withdrawal

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i ccsntttt wathchhh thjs pls stoppp 

i’ve only seen one other zhang miao yi drama which was “when i fly towards you” and that was one of if not my fav romance drama of all time. something about miao yi is so comforting and she just makes you immediately more happy when watching her dramas. her acting is so brilliant and she pulls off the coming of age romance genre like no one else can!!!! i genuinely don’t know how to put into words how talented she is, i think i’m in love! she’s cutie pie #1!!! 

and for this being juns first acting gig in a while he ACTED. he’s an ACTOR. knowing how he acts with svt and how he is with fans compared to how he is in this drama threw me for a loop. i think i was just so used to him being goofy and silly that seeing him be this serious “i hate everyone but you” guy was crazy. but i really do think he pulled it off. it was so worth it waiting for like 500 years for this drama to come out. and as the show went on you could genuinely feel the progression and development of his character. him and miao yi together is genuinely one of the best pairings that could have happened. their chemistry was insane and felt so natural. 
the only thing i would say was that there was a bit of an abrupt change between like complete childhood friends to like dating and in love but i guess it makes sense with the progression of juns feelings, so it like didn’t ruin things for me obviously i just wish we got to see more of the in between on friends to lovers…almost like “flirting” or like tension ig. 
but the build up was absolutely perfect and everything about the romance was so so cute and sweet, and im glad we got a bunch of episodes of them like actually being a couple couple cause sometimes the leads will like get into a relationship, have like one cute scene, and then it’ll end, but we were spoiled with them in this!!! 

and the “i’ll remember your temperature” line from juan juan in ep
18….bitch if that isn’t the most romantic thing i’ve ever heard like i got heat flashes that was the craziest thing ever said. i’ve never heard something so romantic before…and it was such a quick line they just kinda moved on…I CANT MOVE ON. ILL REMEMBER YOUR TEMPERATURE??? BITCH WHO SAYS THAT??!!? let’s make out rn.

i also don’t really cry while watching shows that often but something about cdramas showing graduations and having nostalgic school montage with the voice over saying “hmmm i’m really gonna miss this place” makes me cry so hard that somehow i end up on the floor.

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jisoo i get you!!!!!!!! 

i know that every new kdrama can’t be my favorite but this was so good i want to rip my eyes out. 

shin hye sun was such a standout like she ACTED. and i absolutely love love love ha yoon kyung i don’t think anyone could have played cho won like her, like she cries like no one else omg. this was also my first ahn bo hyun drama and i was eeekkking and ahhhing half the time he was on screen. can he pls get type casted from this more cause he played the “emo sad boy don’t touch me but i love you i’ll protect you i’m shy but strong cute boy” guy a little too well. i want cha chung hwa in every show, movie, piece of media, even in my house giving me life advice. i want her to be my mom she is so fabulous. this also wasn’t a drama or character that i ever expected chae min to play, he just always gave me that school boy vibe but he stuck out so much in every scene he was in. gave me a silly little surprise seeing him in here and i will admit seeing him so serious all the time gave me a giggle

it has all the beats of a regular kdrama, so while a little bit predictable, it’s one of those shows where it doesn’t really matter, if that makes sense. the four main characters’ stories made them so loveable and so relatable (maybe except for the second love interest guy he kinda got on my nerves) it touches on grief in a very different and almost healing way than other things i’ve seen. and although it’s very easy to sympathy with seo ha and cho won, ji eums story and her pain stuck with me so much and was such a big part of why i felt like this show touched on reincarnation and different lives in such a calming way. it just felt refreshing. 

the first 8 episodes were perfect and so so comforting and it’s not that the other four weren’t it’s just that i think it fell into the big kdrama ending trap. i kinda wanted more from the big reveal of ji eums first life. i was so excited the whole time to figure out what happened and then when it was revealed it was a bit anticlimactic, but still so so fun none the less. It also kinda was in the middle of being dragged out and too fast so it felt a little weird the last two episodes, so while the first 8 episodes were very romance heavy the last could were very like actiony and serious so it was a bit jarring. But i also think it’s hard for shows like these to balance the thriller action plot and the romance plot. but even tho it has those faults it was still absolutely amazing 

the main couple was the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, i screamed, i cried, i jumped, i had to pause so many times just out of pure butterflies. the build up was absolutely perfect and i think i started talking to my screen pretending j was with them at some points. the second couple had me giggle so much as well which i didn’t think i would, and i think it had a lot to do with cho won. the way she acted and her lines just really made their romance feel like a 2018 kdrama. the guy kinda……was definitely a guy but i think by the end he redeemed himself and i was too focused on cho won half the time so ehhhh idc. all the relationships had so many sparks to them even the platonic ones which just made me fall in love with them even more.

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lee seung gi i luv you

thoughts i had while watching: 

- i want mu chi to father me 
- ba reum pls pls pls give me one chance pls pls pls (even after the time skip…it’s ok we all have our ups and downs) 
-nahhhhhh why’d they have to murder the geriatric 
-these children are more terrifying than the adults. free birth control ig
- don’t blame hong ju i would’ve fallen for the hot murderer too ( i did ) 
- that headhunter guy is so goofy i laugh every time he comes on screen 
- ba reum babe look at me this isn’t you. you’re better than this (NAHH CAUSE WHY DID HE HAVE TO KILL THE CAT) 
- bong yi i <3 u
-honestly everything that ba reum has done (besides the cat) has been a real W (BRUH NVM) 
- who tf is this lee min soo guy…….been here for 5 min and already ruining shit……put him on the hit list ig 
- mu chi pls be my father figure and tell me you’re proud of me pls
- ba reum is so stupid but so smart and i will giggle at anything he says idc if he’s a killer i’m romantically in love with him 
- OH EPISODE 15 WAS CRAZY I HAVE BEEN GAGGED WTF. not my bbg hottie bf. i can fix him i promiseeeeeeeeeee (maybe not. it just keeps getting worse… damn we lost a good one) 
- poor bong yi was getting played this whole time. don’t worry bbg i’ll treat you better than that weirdo pls i’m rich and not a murderer pls
- i get that it’s a thriller but damn can these bitches stop dying it’s saurrr tiring 
- poor sung yohan 
- this show is too smart for me. i need this wizard of oz stuff explained to me like a child pls. 
- ba reum has gotten hit in the head more times than i can count like DAMN let the man breathe for a second plsss
- BRUH FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR BA REUM
- yo han is a VICTIM. 
- NAUR NOT PO PLS ANYONE BUT HIM
- nahhhhh the rich girlie with the bob was in charge the whole time???????? bitch????
- pro-death ig??
- that whole ep 19 rain fight……….hahahahahah…..kmn
- choi hong ju and go mu chi. mother and father!!!!!!
- uh bong yi my ass fuck you fuck you fuckyyou
-still confused i think i need a rewatch. 

took me five months to finish and got so attached to every single character at this point idc if ba reum is a murder i want my bbg back.

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best kdrama

i’ve never gotten so attached to characters in just 8 episodes but i love si eun and soo ho so so much. every episode is so sickening but in the best way possible. the build up to every single fight was excruciating but i loved it. i usually hate the bully story lines in k dramas but it was used in such a different and actually interesting way in this show. 

i absolutely loved all three main characters at first, including bum seok, and then his character flip happened and i tried to just think that he’s mad at his father and taking it out on his friends but you really cant use that to justify his actions by the end. by the last episode i don’t think anything could have made me genuinely feel sorry for bum seok. (also up until like episode 6 i thought the reason that beom seok was mad was that he was gay and had a big crush on soo ho…………was definitely proven wrong)

by the seventh episode you could kind of tell where it would go just by the build up of it but i don’t think anything could have prepared me for seeing that fight. i stand by the fact that soo ho did absolutely nothing wrong, bum seok was just so insecure with himself that he took it out on someone who wasn’t.  soo ho i love you. 

si eun was an amazing friend from the very beginning. he always cared about the other two no matter what and did selfless things to be a good friend and not to look like a good friend like bum seok. i love love love how they told his story. it felt cohesive and no matter how attached i got to someone else it really always felt like i was watching in his pov which i rly appreciate.  

one of the best shows i’ve seen. the highs were rly high and some parts made me so happy but the lows were rly really low………… 

also shin seung-ho call me

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