Contrast Episode 5

would rather not have to sit through Akira's…

would rather not have to sit through Akira's grooming scenes, as it's not a comfortable watch (& that's putting it lightly). but i know they're there for us to understand his character better. like his panicked rejection of ending that "relationship" it's cause he was groomed & not just that, but also Kanada made sure (like every experienced pedo knows to do) to use Akir'a insecurities against him, isolating him into thinking he is the only one that will accept him for who he is & wouldn't reject or treat him as his 1st crush did. cause they in the same boat - they share the same secret.*******************************************he told Akira he took advantage of his kindness - nope(!) he took advantage of Akira's secret; that he was gay & scared the secret would get out. that is what is binding Akira to him & even though Akira knows it's wrong & is ashamed of this "relationship" he is more worried that if they ended things, he would be left all alone. that's freakin sad & that's why what Kanda did to him, was so much worse then just using him sexually. *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************from the sec i "got" that Akira's story aint gonna be light, it made me wonder, do i even want the mains together? cause Akira has enough on his plate & needs to 1st learn to stand on his own two feet & love himself without leaning on a sicko that's just dragging him down & will never be healthy for him mentally. if anything, he will keep him tied down, never allowing Akira to "spread his wings" & idk if i believe Akira when he told Kanata that relationship has ended as he has a tendency to lie (like he told him that he was meeting his brother & he also rushed to disagree when Kanda offered him an out this time too) so idk how much i belive Akira - for Kanata's sake i want too. ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************as is Kanada - as the adult - should've known a better way to guide & help Akira, grooming & f*cking him wasn't the best way???? & will NEVER accept the excuse where someone will say "i was hurt, thus i hurt." - if u were hurt, u know how it feels & should DO BETTER!!! especially with someone younger who is lost & scared. ****************************************************he saw how vulnerable Akira was, saw the opening & took it - there aint NO justifying his actions. even now he keep suggesting they end things, but he never say "let's end it" he knows that even now Akira is emotional dependent on him & this is something he has subconsciously nurtured, isolating him - making Akira feel like he is the only one that understands & will be there for him. *************************************************************************************************************************that's why it didn't bother Akira that Kanda sleeps around. cause this relationship is f*cked up. & to Akira he is a life line - this sad & messed-up & Kanda knows he is *cked up & that's why he told Akira to not only keep the secret but not disclose everything to Kanata, not cause he cares how hurt Kanata might get. it's his own ass he is covering. so i really wish this was the last we see of him for Akira's sake not just the potential, budding relationship

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SO GOOD BUT I HATE AKIRA’S TUTOR

So now kanata’s seen akira’s tutor and akira planned to tell kanata everything but his tutor, yoichi, tries to convince him not to since it’ll hurt both of them, when actually he doesn’t want anyone else to know that he groomed akira. So kanata is at school just thinking over how he saw akira with yoichi the other day, and he goes up to akira on the rooftop since Jun convinced him to invite him to makki’s villa to help them revise for finals, so kanata asks to which akira says yes and they spend time at the villa, and eventually get sidetracked into just having fun AND AKIRA AND KANATA SEEMED TO HAVE SUCH A GREAT TIME OMDS WHY CANT THE JUST FIX UP AND GET TOGETHER AND FLIPPING GET YOICHI OUT THE WAY. During the night, Kanata wakes up because he couldn’t sleep and sees Akira awake as well, and akira explains everything and how he’s has his “friends with benefits” relationship with yoichi, but akira’s trying to explain to kanata that he’s stopped it with yoichi and now their little thing is no more. After akira just walks out since he couldn’t handle it all. LIKE I WAS AT LEAST EXPECTING A HUG PERHAPS NO? oh well. BUT I HATE THE TUTOR BECAUSE YOICHI LITERALLY HAD A CRUSH ON AKIRA’S BROTHER BUT BACK THEN AKIRA’S BROTHER HAD A GIRLFRIEND AND AKIRA WAS GOING THROUGH A DILEMMA WHERE HIS CRUSH CLOCKED ON THAT AKIRA HAD A CRUSH ON HIM AND STARTED DISTANCING FROM HIM AND FINDING HIM A NUISANCE, SO AKIRA FELT INFERIOR TO HIS BROTHER, WHO HAD POPULARITY AND GRADES, WHILST ALSO GETTING CAUGHT ON BY HIS CRUSH, IT WAS TOO MUCH SO HE TOLD YOICHI WHO THEN TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM AND STARTED DOING ALL THAT CALLING IT A “BALANCE” SINCE BOTH AKIRA AND YOICHI WAS EXPERIENCING UNREQUITED LOVE SO THEY NEEDED A RELEASE LIKE BRO SHUTUP WITH YOUR WAFFLE, HE LITERALLY JUST TOOK ADVANTAGE OF AKIRA UGHGHGHGH.

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