Daytimel

My point isn’t that she isn’t strong or admirable as a person. The issue is how the story writes her. Right now, the narrative frames her almost entirely around Tang Lici, which limits her agency and makes her feel underdeveloped.

You can admire her strength and still expect the writers to give her choices, motivations, and scenes that define her outside of the male lead. Recognizing her personal qualities doesn’t mean we shouldn’t notice weak writing or missed opportunities for richer character development.

I appreciate the context, but I want to address what’s really being implied here. Suggesting that criticism of Ashui mainly comes from BL or danmei fans who don’t want a female lead subtly dismisses valid critiques and implies that anyone pointing out weak writing must be biased. That is not true. Critiquing a character’s lack of agency, motivation, or depth has nothing to do with fandom or genre preference. It is about the quality of the writing.

Even if Ashui is meant to be mysterious or miraculous, the writers could still give her choices, subtle motivations, and foreshadowing to make her feel like a fully realized character. Right now, she mostly exists to orbit Tang Lici, and that is what makes her feel underdeveloped.

Calling out these patterns is not anti-female or a double standard. It is about storytelling and representation. Excusing weak writing by hiding behind genre conventions or assuming critics are biased fans only perpetuates underdeveloped female characters. Discussions like this are important because they help us see how to write women with agency and depth.

I see what you’re implying, but let me clarify something. My critique has nothing to do with disliking a female character or applying a double standard. It’s about writing depth and narrative structure. Pointing out that almost every character, male or female, revolves around Tang Lici isn’t bias, it’s analysis.

Suggesting that criticism of Ashui must come from discomfort with caring or dependent women is exactly the kind of framing that shuts down meaningful discussion. I’m not against femininity or nurturing traits, I’m against flat writing that defines a woman’s entire existence by a man’s storyline.

You can absolutely appreciate all types of women in fiction and still expect them to be written with agency, individuality, and purpose. That’s not a contradiction; that’s a standard for good storytelling.

And honestly, it makes complete sense that women criticize Ashui’s character more than the male ones. When you’ve lived in a world that often limits women’s voices and agency, you notice immediately when a female character is written as secondary, dependent, or without her own goals.

Real women don’t exist to orbit men or to reflect their growth, yet that’s still how female characters are too often written. It’s not about "hating" her; it’s about wanting better representation. Women want to see female characters who are as complex, flawed, and self-driven as real women are. That’s not bias, that’s awareness.

And that’s exactly why conversations like this matter. Talking about how women are written, what patterns we see, and what feels outdated is important for feminism to grow. The more we discuss it openly, the clearer it becomes what real equality and nuanced female representation can look like.

My point isn’t that softness or dependency makes a character "useless".

What I meant is that, from a writing perspective, she hasn’t been given much agency or inner motivation beyond her connection to Tang Lici. It’s not about her being a homemaker-type or lacking ambition; it’s about her not having a personal arc that shows her inner world or her choices shaping the story.

Strength can absolutely be expressed through kindness, but even kind, nurturing characters can be written with depth, conflict, and individuality. That’s what I feel is missing right now. I’d love to see the show explore that side of her more, so her warmth feels like a conscious strength, not just a trait in service of the male lead. BUT yeah that is my perspective, if you have less expectations regarding the quality so be it 😌 I personally want to see female characters that are equal to their male counterparts... not a side-character that is being used for the arc of the ml.

that again is so unfortunate... again it's her relation to a man which is important 🫡

We’re already at episode 18, and she still doesn’t have distinct character traits or an agenda outside of TLC. Even if her backstory gets revealed later, it’s still weak writing not to give any clues by now.

I also said she feels useless, not that she is, but as a character, she revolves completely around TLC, and he’s her only focus. That’s not limited to her either; it’s the same with Chi Yun, Shen Langhun, and even Liu Yan. It’s honestly disappointing because the show has potential for deeper, more layered characters but right now it just seems like your typical Liu Yun Xi drama... 90% at the center.

And about the idea that “people just don’t want the ML to interact closely with women,” that’s quite a dismissive and frankly misogynistic way to frame valid criticism. Many of us want to see strong, well-written female characters who can stand beside male leads as equals, not just orbit them. Wanting better female representation isn’t about jealousy; it’s about wanting quality writing and agency.

The “damsel in need” archetype with no inner drive or unique identity feels outdated. I’d love to see her and the other characters get more independent goals, choices, and internal struggles. That’s what gives characters real weight and makes dramas more meaningful too.

She feels so useless, because she as a character has no goals and needs other than Tang Lici... not a very good written character despite her abilities. It's a shame... without Tang Lici she would have nothing at this point 😬

yes exactly!

Haha I totally get it though. My fav. dramas would probably also not be that great anymore after a second watch 😂

100% agree about everything you said and I am still at ep 20 so far... but how could people enjoy this drama so much honestly. It baffles me that this is considered one of the best Cdramas 😭

this is very accurate tbh!

Great review and sums up everything I was thinking as well! ❤️

I am sorry that people accused you of being a troll. The community usually is very defensive when a drama they like gets criticized but they just do not know the art of criticism. Unfortunately the people here almost love every drama... they probably haven't seen top notch dramas or they just really do not know the difference but do not let that deceive you. I usually do not read 10/10 ratings and or the comment section but the feeds are very welcoming when it comes to criticism.
Very brave that you bought the book though? Can I ask why? 😂 I mean seemingly, you did not like the drama at all.

I so agree! Yuheng is just doing his job and she is getting annoyed at him 🥲

Really good review! 😊 It tried to be feministic but failed so miserably. And what bugged me the most was, she was a man her whole life and when she needed to be a woman again, she had 0 problems with that. And I thought Lost You Forever was bad a portraying that.

God, I am literally rooting for a man to get baby-trapped... but it's soo good 🤣

I hope there are no grape scenes in this one 🤞🏻

what do you mean? he tries to have sex with him every time even if Da Bao is just sleeping in the same bed with him. That is not tempting him... that is normally spending time with him.

this is absolutely just your interpretation of it. He was obviously stating that he wanted to sleep with Da Bao and nothing else at that point.

so he was anxious to not sleep with Da Bao... this doesn't make it better no matter what you are saying man. Of course Da Bao should want on his own. what do you mean he is forcing him this way now?