Sana Jeinab

You have been repeated claims that Tushan Jing was a stalker, manipulative, or controlling. I address these clearly using facts from both the Lost You Forever drama and novel without bias, just facts.

Jing stalked Xiaoyao without her consent.?
This is misleading. Jing only started following Xiaoyao after she had already been kidnapped, attacked, or in danger. He used his fox magic to track her for protection, not to control her. This is the same thing Cang Xuan and Xiang Liu did when they kept tabs on her for her safety. So if we call Jing a stalker, then the same applies to themm



Example from the drama: In Episode 13, after the Nine-Headed Serpent Clan targeted her, Jing started tracking her quietly to ensure she was safe. That’s not obsession, it’s concern.

Feng Long’s proposal was political. Jing’s return didn’t ruin Feng Long’s own family backed out due to Xiaoyao’s status. Jing simply admitted he still loved her. Xiaoyao and Feng Long made their own decisions. Jing did not interfere or pressure her.

Imto the Dragonbone Prison promise. Xiaoyao offered the promise herself. She was scared for Jing’s life and made the vow to keep him alive. This was her choice, not manipulation. In the novel, she says: “If you die, what’s the point of my freedom?” That came from her, not from Jing forcing her hand.


Jing didn’t reveal his identity at first, but neither did Xiaoyao. She hid as Wen Xiaoliu, and he as Ye Shiqi. Both were in hiding and both concealed their pasts for safety. Jing later tried to tell her the truth but hesitated because he feared endangering her. So you're unfair to him.

Jing’s magic was used rarely and only when he believed she was in danger. He didn’t use it to monitor her personal life or manipulate her decisions. He only watched to make sure she was safe, and he didn’t act unless something truly risky was happening.



Example: During the Chenron event, he observed from a distance because there were people scheming around her. He didn’t interfere unless it was necessary.

Jing read one letter when he believed there might be a threat. He didn’t do it for control or jealousy. Xiaoyao had enemies, and the context was that her life was always in danger. Even Cang Xuan and Xiang Liu intercepted information or kept watch over her. If Jing was wrong, they were too.


Jing’s jealousy was quiet and never turned into action. He let Xiaoyao go when he thought she was happy with someone else. In season 1 last side episode, he says “If one day you want to come back to me, I’ll be here.” That’s patience and love, not possession.

Jing’s marriage was forced on him through blackmail and pressure. He did his duty but remained emotionally faithful to Xiaoyao. He never tried to deceive or misuse that love.

Jing fans acknowledge his flaws he hesitates too much, struggles to stand up to pressure, and is sometimes too passive. But he is kind, loyal, respectful, and never forces his love on Xiaoyao. He lets her choose every time.

Why bring up Cang Xuan or Xiang Liu?
Because you can’t judge Jing in isolation while excusing others. Cang Xuan imprisoned her. Xiang Liu was emotionally distant and let her suffer. Yet people romanticize their flaws while demanding perfection from Jing. Comparing is not deflecting it’s necessary for fairness.

Jing never controlled Xiaoyao. He never dictated her path. He protected her, supported her, stepped back when she needed space, and waited quietly. He respected her choices even when it hurt him. That’s not obsession. That’s restrained, enduring love.

I don't want anyone opinion to whom I will like. I can difference between bad or good . The character Xiang Liu was toxic for me it doesn't mean it will disappear from the story or I can or I have to bad mouth like others , Xiang Liu did his best what he can do and also Jing did what he can do. You're always insisting to re read to give directly answer bro read clear fully you will get the answers don't misunderstoand the facts and the story and the truth.

Don't insist on something which is nonsense. In every drama there are so many misunderstanding but later slowly they solve it if you sit down with Jings fake marriage and calling his nephew his child and many other things than what can I say to you I have already said several times clearly but you can't accept this 😆. Actually Jing Xiang Liu Cang Xuan fan accepted everything. But there are some black fan who can't accept these things. I think they have lack of common sense .
I suggest them to watch more dramas and became mature.

one say.........In love and war everything is fair .

Absolutely agree with every word, Winny. 👏

You explained it so well people rewriting Jing’s character just to fit their fave's narrative is exactly what’s been happening. Jing was never manipulative or unreliable. He made quiet but consistent efforts from beginning to end. Just because he wasn’t loud or ruthless like others doesn’t mean he lacked depth or conviction. His strength was in his unwavering loyalty and emotional intelligence.

Also, you're spot on about the lover bug! If Xiang Liu gets praised for taking the bug while hiding the truth from Xiaoyao, how is that not manipulative? But when Jing protects her in his own way, suddenly it’s a crime? The double standard is obvious.

People blaming Jing for things like the 15-year gap are ignoring key details he wasn’t the one who separated them, and yet he’s the one who kept searching and loving her. And you're right many Shiqi fans stayed loyal, and those who jumped probably never truly connected with Jing’s kind of quiet love in the first place.

Thank you for putting this into words so clearly. The gaslighting of Jing’s character says more about their bitter disappointments than the actual story.

Team Ye Shiqi/ Tushan Jing always. 💙

It was the best joke mmature mama/papa 🤭.
Wish everyone get a peaceful review and give a better review.

Tushan Jing Xiaoyao ❤️

Xiaoyao absolutely loved both Jing and Xiang Liu, but in very different ways. Xiang Liu was the one she couldn’t help but love intense, fated tragic. But Jing was the one she choose, trusted and built a life with. That says everything. And people focus on how she never recorded Jing in her memory mirror in thedrama she explains that she doesn't need to Jing is always with her. He was her present, there is no need to hol onto a memory, she told him you're always in my heart. It's says than any recorded image. That's a deeper everyday presence.

People often romanticize Xiaoyao’s gestures toward Xiang Liu the crystal ball, the memory mirror lover bug ,,,,,but they forget what she did for Jing. She risked her life for him, gave him her blood, helped him rebuild his clan, and stayed with him even after he lost everything. That’s not surface level affection. That’s commitment. And people can't difference between them.

It’s true that she didn’t love Jing at first, but her love for him grew through shared pain and healing. And while Xiang Liu kept walking away, Jing always stayed and will stay forever. Even when she pushed him away, he waited. Even when she was cold, he protected her. In the end, she married him not out of convenience, but because she knew he would never leave her. And the episode do you remember where she believe Jing is dead and she marry him alone and became Tushan Jings wife the heart breaking episode it proves she finally knew who she loved , it symbolize who she loved. This is her way of saying You're the one I choose if you're gone, I still choose you.

Xiaoyao mourned Xiang Liu, but she always lived with Jing. Yes sometime it hard to forget loved one but you have to let it go with the time . Time heals everything, time change everything. And sometimes, the love you choose every day is more powerful than the love you lost.

My pleasure😊.
I also agree the drama wasn't that SE . They always insist on something which they shouldn't it ended years ago but they have to bad mouth about others after ending. When the new fans are watching they willnt watch the drama after watching these type of hateful comments.

You're right it just a drama guve your opinion accept it how it was and be happy and if u can't move on rewatch it.

You accusing others of gaslighting while ignoring Xiaoyaos autonomy boundaries and choices.It’s unfair to label Jing a stalker” while ignoring the serious flaws of both Xiang Liu and Cang Xuan.

Jing never dictated Xiaoyao’s life. CangXuam, on the other hand, discussed how Feng Long’s offer could be advantageous” (File: file-LDs9PpBrZ8qofZUhJeStMQ) clearly valuing politics over her feelings. Jing asked CangXuan to intercede once, then respected her choice. That’s not control that’s restraint.

Xiang Liu literally tried to kill Xiaoyao, multiple times. Let’s not romanticize that. He shared his life force later (File: file-X42vuUAXn4SbGkBeAbPcDq), yes but that doesn’t erase the trauma. Jing, meanwhile, never laid a hand on her, never lied, and never forced her (File: file-4Kj6iP2dnpn3NsRY88t3Nw).


And the spying? XL did the same, monitoring her through the hairbell and showing up uninvited. Jing had no magic just fear for her safety. He followed her in Qingshui only after she was being targeted not to control, but to protect. He monitored a suspicious letter not for fun, but because threats were real. The text shows he never wanted her to marry but still let her go quietly.

Jing is flawed, yes. But he never manipulated Xiaoyao like CangXuan, never endangered her like XiangLiu, and never demanded love in return. He protected, respected, and withdrew all without powet.

Again you're insisting in some things which even don't matter you're not acceptimh the child wasn't his but for the sake of his guilt he stayed and let go Xiaoyao. How can he don't became jealous after all he loves her but she did whatever she want, several time she go with Xiang Liu. If she wanted to marry Feng Long no one con stop her. Xiangliu is the one who was creeping around her . Now Xiangliu is the best protector who tortured her back than, huh!

If Jing has Zero rights than also Xiang Liu has no right to do whatever he want because he's enemy of her family be real bro .

If You're calling Jing stalker than Xiang Liu is the biggest stalker he also did it with magic, manipulation. Do you know why I can't choose Xiang Liu because of his demonic side his manipulative sides, his toxicity and I think so many people can't choose him for this reason

If a person can't difference between Toxicity and Non Toxicity what the meaning of watching. People ignore Xiang Lius manipulative and emotionally harmful behaviour and how unhealthy and obsessive bond was with Xiaoyao.<


The perfect example is Ah Heng and Chi Chen. How they ended.

You’re absolutely entitled to your opinion, but much of what you’re saying either overlooks crucial scenes or misrepresents Jing’s character .

“Jing wasn’t loyal. He dumped Xiaoyao and married Feng Family girl.”This is a misunderstanding of the context. Jing didn’t “dump” Xiaoya. he was trapped by the Feng family, drugged, and forced into marriage to protect his clan. He never stopped loving Xiaoyao.

In Episode 17, when Xiaoyao finds out about the arranged marriage, Jing literally begs her to run away with him. She refuses. That wasn’t abandonment. That was desperation to hold onto her.

Givinh back the purple fish stone, proving she gave up on him..? what a nonsense .!
Yes in the moment, she gave it back because she was devastated. But she also went searching for him again, risked her life and never stopped loving him.

In the drama and novel, even after she lost her memory, her soul remembered Jing. That’s why she fell in love with him again as Ye Shiqi.

Others fixed things for him. You're always insisting on this than how come you forget when he fixed things for them. Jing risked death and torture at the hands of the Fengs to maintain a double identity as Ye Shiqi just to stay close to Xiaoyao.

He built a life with her, protected her quietly, and rejected Feng Long’s help multiple times to avoid dragging Xiaoyao into political danger. That’s not weakness. That’s sacrifice in silence. So it even.

And not forget he tried to kill himself when he thought he lost her for good. That’s not passivity it’s emotional devastation.


He risked his life and hid from the entire Nine Provinces as Ye Shiqi while the Fengs searched for him.
When Cang Xuan threatens Xiaoyao's life, Jing rushes to her defense without a second thought.

When she needed healing, he offered his own blood a deep, painful sacrifice in the novel

He was tortured, humiliated, disowned, and still chose Xiaoyao over power, status, and political gain.
He was not loyal—to anyone. That’s simply false. Jing is loyal to the people he loves not to titles, not to fake oaths. He didn’t stay loyal to a forced marriage he never consented to. He didn’t let a title stop him from trying to protect Xiaoyao at every step.

And when he was finally free? He didn’t run back to the throne he ran back to her.

In both drama and novel, she actively chose him again and again.

Even when Xiang Liu was there in the shadows, she didn’t chase him. Even when Cang Xuan offered her power, she didn’t take it

She chose Jing because he gave her peace, safety, love and a future.
Her final line in the novel says it all ,,,,,,,The one who stayed beside me when I had nothing that is the person I want to grow old with. A person how can grow old with anyone without love

That was Jing.

Jing’s love is silent, gentle, and enduring. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t demand, doesn’t burn out, but quietly waits even when unloved. That’s why it’s easy to overlook but that doesn’t make it less powerful

Yes, some viewers was in Xiangliu and did and that’s okay. But many also returned to Jing after rewatching, understanding the nuance and quiet sacrifices. Choosing Xiang Liu doesn’t make Jing any less worthy. Ok Jing is not perfect like every character.
But he’s not manipulative, nor weak. His strength isn’t loud, but it’s consistent. He choose Xiaoyao again and agai even when it cost him everything. And in the end, she choose him, not because he was the last one left but because he never left.

Saying Xiaoyao ended up with Jing just because he was “the only one left” is completely false and both the drama and novel prove it.

In the drama, when Jing disappeared after the engagement, Xiaoyao didn’t just move on. She searched day and night, cried for him and even told Cang xuan

"If I can’t find Jing, I don’t want to live either.”

That’s not settling that’s deep, devoted love. She was willing to give up everything just to be with him again.

In the novel, even after losing her memory, when she met Ye Shiqi (Jing), she said:
“I don’t know why, but when I’m with you, I feel safe.”

Later, when she regained her memory and saw him again, she ran into his arms crying, saying

“I’ve waited so long for you.”

As for Xiang Liu yes, he loved her, but he chose to stay in the shadows. He never gave her a real choice, never gave her a future. But Jing did. He stayed, waited, and protected her silently even when she couldn’t remember who he was.

Wishing someone was free doesn’t mean you’d choose them over the person who actually stayed, waited, and loved you through it all. If Xiang Liu truly mattered more, she would have fought for him the same way she did for Jing. But she didn’t. And that silence says everything

In the end, Xiaoyao dreamed of a life with Jing, telling him

“I don’t want power or revenge. I just want peace. I want a home with you.”

That wasn’t desperation. That was her healing, her choice, her peace. She didn’t settle. She chose the man who never gave up on her. If it's not choosing what was this she was a free spirit person she also can not choose him but shechoose him

Horse puckey....? Let's unpack this then!!!!!
because it seems you've misinterpreted how fictional narratives, and specifically character relationships, often work.

First, your assertion that the only correct answer is 'because I love him' is simplistic, even for real life, and completely inadequate for complex fictional relationships.
In reality, and especially in well-developed stories, love is rarely a singular, unexplained feeling. It's built on shared experiences, sacrifices, vulnerabilities, and growth. To reduce it to a tautology (I love him because I love him) ignores the very essence of character development and relational dynamics. If that were truly the only answer, countless compelling love stories, where characters overcome obstacles or evolve their feelings, would be meaningless.

You said Jing didn't earn any of that much less trust. He repeatedly broke his promises and proved untrustworthy.! This selective reading misses crucial context.

Character flaws and mistakes are precisely what make a redemption arc or a journeys. His repeated mistakes, and more importantly, his efforts (however flawed) to atone, protect, and genuinely care for Xiaoyao despite his initial shortcomings, are what can lead a character like Xiaoyao (or the audience) to eventually trust and love him. The narrative often explores why these promises were broken, the pressures, making his journey relatable and his eventual worthiness earned through struggle, not perfection.

Your interpretation of The Lovers Bug or whatever magical/supernatural element is at play as something only shared by people who loved each other is a common fan theory, but often a misreading of such tropes in fiction.

Magical catalysts in stories often serve to initiate or accelerate a connection, or reveal an underlying, nascent affection, rather than simply being a passive reflection of existing, fully-formed love. If the Bug only affected those already deeply in love, it would be narratively redundant. Its function is typically to create a unique bond or shared experience that forces characters to confront their feelings, leading to love, or amplifying a connection that might otherwise have been suppressed. It acts as a plot device to bring characters together.

You're free to prefer other characters, but calling Jing’s story propagand ignores the facts. His love was steady, loyal, and selfless not loud, but deeply meaningful.

He was poisoned, tortured, and still risked his life for Xiaoyao like retrieving her hairpin from the Nine-Headed Demon. He never forced her, never manipulated her, and always respected her choices.

Disagreeing is fine, but dismissing real character depth as “propaganda” just shows bias, not analysis.

On Xiang Liu’s tragedy some may dislike his ending, but that doesn’t mean they dislike the character. The emotional impact of his death proves how people connected to him. Tragic characters like Xiang Liu often become iconic because their love and sacrifice leave lasting impressions.sad ending always last in my op. People asking for a happy ending isn’t proof they hated the sad one.


That exact logic applies to Jing as well. Many misunderstood him early on, especially due to the forced marriage and family obligations. But as the story progresses and his quiet sacrifices come to light, people begin to see how loyal, enduring, and selfless he truly is. But some people couldn't understand this!

This needs nuance. Jing didn’t stalk or control Xiaoyao out of obsession he was trying to *protect her* while being trapped himself. He never forced her to stay, never coerced her, and always backed off when she asked. Meanwhile, *Cang Xuan tried to dictate her marriage*, and even *Xiang Liu had Fangfeng Bei report to him*. If Jing’s behavior is unwanted, so is their but he’s judged more harshly.

That’s simply false. Jing’s strength lies in quiet perseverance:


- He risked death to retrieve her hairpin from the Nine-Headed Demon.

- He endured poison, torture, and humiliation but stayed alive just to see her again.

- He gave up clan power, inheritance, and safety to be with her. These aren’t dramatic gestures, but they show emotional and moral strength and fans who value depth and realism recognize that.

He is one of the three main leads in the romantic arc. Saying he’s not a main lead doesn’t reflect the show’s structure. His role is crucial in shaping Xiaoyao’s emotional journey. He ended up with her so anyone can say who's the main lead

Jing loved without conditions, chose Xiaoyao over everything, and respected her choices something few others consistently did. If we’re praising emotional growth and sacrifice, Jing deserves credit just as much as anyone else.

Can I know what are you referring to concrete example...?
Do you know where feelings come from it don't come without any reason I watched it before coming the feelings I have to thought about those things in which I m so deeply feeled than I have to talk about those things..

Wow, thanks for laying all that out so clearly!
Although I didn't read the novel I also feel that about Xiangliu. I really appreciate your detailed analysis of Xing Liu's motivations and actions especially how you distinguish between his loyalty and his presence for Xiaoyao. I also found him like a friend but not lover . Your points about him using her to support his side and tracking her with CangXuan are super insightful and definitely give a lot of food for thought.

I completely agree with your take on Jing. He truly comes across as someone genuinely seeking love, without the layers of manipulation or ulterior motives you described for XiangLiiu. It's refreshing to see that pure intention from him.

You've really articulated a perspective that makes so much sense, and it's great to have someone break it down like this, referencing both the novel and drama. It deepens the understanding of their characters and relationships significantly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts so eloquently!

Your message really resonated with me you've hit the nail on the head about the characters in LYF. Their flaws are absolutely what make them so real and relatable, just like people in actual life, right? It's what makes the story stick with you.
It's genuinely amazing to see the continued enthusiasm for this drama, and I'm really happy to be joining such a passionate community.

You're spot on about different perspectives adding so much richness it truly makes the conversations engaging, and it's nice when everyone can share their views respectfully and nicely.
You've perfectly summed up why LYF is such a gem every character, regardless of how we feel about them, plays such a crucial role, and the story just wouldn't be the same without any one of them. That depth is what makes it timeless.

LYF is definitely a top favorite for me too, and I've loved it from the start. So glad to be here and chat with someone who appreciate it just as much and all the character.!

Exactly they didn't choose her! I just became fan of him for his kindness loyalty quietness patience . His love for her was another level but somehow they didn't show it perfectly but they could.

I didn't read the novel even I hadn't planned to watch this . I was free and just downloaded this drama even I wasn't aware who are in this drama. Now I realize it was an amazing moment to meet Ye Shiqi / Tushan Jing Xiaoyao Ah nian Cangxuan and the all character.

Be real bro calling Jing manipulative, passive, and undependable is just rewriting the story to fit a narrative. He was never loud like Xiang Liu or ruthless like Cang Xuan, but he was the only one who stayed true from start to finish. He was Ye Shiqi and lastly he remains same.

He didn’t changhe he grew. Yes he made mistakes, but he fought to fix them. When others gave up, Jing kept coming backagain and again, even at the cost of his life power, and reputation.

He didn’t stop the wedding? He was poisoned, trapped, and still tried everything to break free. Unlike others, he didn’t abandon her after failing.

He returned with a plan risked death, got stabbed, and still choose her. He chose Xiaoyao every single time, even when she doubted him


Green flag kindness wasn’t a mask it was who he was. Quiet, loyal, and willing to sacrifice everything without fanfare.

People didn’t jump ship from Jing because they saw the truth. They jumped because they couldn't understand love that wasn't loud or toxic.


Jing's love wasn't performative it was always real and this is the thing which matter. Stable. Constant.

And that’s why Xiaoyao chose him in the end not for drama, but for peace, trust, and home.

Of course anyone can root for him but today's society always fall for toxicity. Of course it was impossible for not to admire him . Why you always have to come with ffyy reason it doesn't matter bro think normally and I m agreeing with what I watched. If things are abnormal I can see it although after watching the whole drama I became fan of Jing .

Thanks for being fine😃. But not always come with unreasonable things to object like other Xiangliu fans.

Xiaoyao saying “only he won’t abandon me” doesn’t mean she didn’t love Jing it shows how deeply she did. For someone who grew up with betrayal, loss, and survival, love wasn’t about grand words, it was about security, consistency, and trust. Jing earned that through years of patience, sacrifice, and always coming back, no matter how hard things got.

She didn’t need to say I truly love him her actions, her choices, and the fact that her heart always returned to him said it all. In the end, she chose Jing not just because he was safe, but because he was the only one she could love without fear. That’s not a lack of love that’s real hard-earned love.

Xiaoyao also didn't said she love Xiang liu but some people always come with these reasons. Don't say the lover bug topic I don't understand how can a lover bug make you to love another person.

I seen on Deng Weis fan page. I m wishing at least this year it will release.

Saying Jing earned his dislike l overlooks the truth he didn’t change, the situation around him did. People jumped ship not because he failed, but because he wasn’t loud or dramatic like others.

Jings andall the character never meant to be perfect. Fans don’t claim that his flaws like hesitation and self-restraint are clear. I don't think anyone will say he's the best character but who like him they said he's best character for them. There are 6 main leads how can one will be perfect.Even with kindness loyalty people don't want to accept a person.

Xiang Liu hurt people and hid behind walls. Cang Xuan chose power over love. Even Xiaoyao made painful choices. So why is Jing judged more harshly for staying loyal through all that?

I said people have problem with his every thing. Watch the show support them back but no they have to bad mouth and give negativity.

He’s not the flashiest but he’s the one who offered her peace, patience, and unconditional love. That’s why many still stand by him.