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the pic Jira drew of Pheem is f*cking ironic. the more i watch this BL, i realize Jira & Koh r two sides of the same coin. if anything, i am starting to think Jira is the more dangerous character here & he is gonna destroy not just Pheem, but Koh too & as u can't destroy something without backlash... Jira is gonna be the architect of his own misery / downfall. *********************given all the hurting souls, idk why the only end i can see is a depressing one, usually when u got so many "injured" souls, u want to see a happy ending for them all. but there is this subtle feeling of things not just getting more complicated, but also going down hill. for now that happening clearly with Pheem, cause of Jira's lies. but given the fact Koh is opening up & starting to rely on Jira, i have a feeling Jira (who is more attracted to the mean, sadistic type) will grow bored of being Koh's emotion crutch & sleeping aid. & if someone richer comes along, who can offer Jira better pay, he wouldn't think twice, before ditching Koh or anyone - even though he does have feelings for Koh. yet i have a feeling he can't help himself. ****************************the whole interaction between Pheem & Mawin was so wholesome & fun, at least he got someone good in his life. now only if he listened to him & let Jira go. but poor Pheem needs to be crushed to dust before he regroups & moves on. hope he will move on...
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ironically both Pheem & Jira r lying to themselves, Pheem knows that Jira is playing him, but he is so in-love he wont quit & even though i think both Mawin & Ing have given bad advise in the past, this time they were on point (at least in the smash room in Mawin's case) & the best thing Pheem can do for his own mental health - is distance himself from Jira, as he KNOWS (gut feeling) Jira is as hooked on Koh as Pheem is hooked on Jira. so he knows that even if Jira's not ready to admit this fact(!) he will never be with Pheem. if anything he will keep him on a leash, leading him on, never to "deliver". & as Pheem just cut ties with one manipulatively, toxic person (Koh) wish he did the same with Jira - who might be different, but really is the same. ****************************************************************************************************************************************in Jira's case, either he is lying to himself or he is just plain lying (as i mentioned already) to him Pheem is a life line, the only "normal" in a crazy/insane situation = Koh, that's all consuming.... Pheem is a raft in a stormy sea, that he just needs to know is there, so he can reach out & touch to center himself, for an ego boost, but he is hell bent on drowning - so he will never really hold on to him. ************************************************************************************************************************ also even if he isn't aware of this fact, he is actively flirting with Koh, like an addict; as long as they r staying away from temptation they r fine, but the sec there is a hint, a mention of the drug of their choice, they can't help themselves - fight it as they may & lets face facts, Jira not really putting up much of a fight. ********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************Koh on the other hand idk what i feel about this character, he's like a snake or a wild animal - u might think he is ruthless, even cruel, but he hasn't presented himself as anything but what & who he is from the start - yeah he uses gaslighting & manipulation to get under people's skin - but that's like a snake using it's fangs.. he never lied, so i can't hate nor love him. he is doing whatever... to survive & he needs Jira to sleep, to sooth his soul with his art, with his presence... can i fault him for doing what he does best? & if he is selfish, isn't Jira the same?!?
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i am blown away with the acting & the plot... this is hella twisted, but so well done i am impressed - poor Pheem, Jira on the other hand i don't pity much. yeah i get that his main reason for not following Pheem, was the money & when u r poor, u can't just up a leave a well paying job - heck u will put up with so much, just to keep it cause u know that it's not easy to find work, let alone a well paying position. *********************************************************************************************************but the reason i don't feel that bad for Jira is cause he is using Pheem, he is keeping him "hanging" cause Pheem has become a life line that is there to save him, if he gets too deep & starts drowning cause of Koh. he has had ample opportunities to be with Pheem, but he always back out at the last moment & it's cause, after being around Kho he knows deep down that he isn't as attracted to Pheem. & the worse part, he doesn't care that he is hurting Pheem, he might say sorry but if he really meant it, he would stop! & after the way Koh played them both - he might as well have slapped the pair, seeing the hurt in Pheem's face, yet Jira chose to let him leave alone. hard to feel bad for him, as am sure Pheem was hurting more getting betrayed by Kho & Jira. ****************************************************************************************************************************************on Koh's part, i get that after who knows how long of living is solitude, letting Jira into his safehouse (even if he didn't want to), he has started to develop feelings. hard not to, when Jira isn't just a novelty & a distraction, he is also a side effectless sleeping aid & his art is the cherry on top - seeing himself in a new light or through Jira's eyes touched a part of him that he thought he had long locked away or lost. *********************************************************************************************************but i doubt he is capable of loving - he is too messed-up & uninterested in humans to really allow himself to give of himself totally to another, he also doesn't trust anyone - so idk what he wants or can offer to another - will have to wait & see -
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guess Jira's muse is Koh & that's why he couldn't draw Pheem... but Pheem really needs to stop being so considerate, if he is a "bad guy" like Mawin keeps saying - wish he would show us & more importantly Jira, this bad guy persona, as that will keep Jira's attention squarely on him. as much as Jira & Koh butt heads, Jira can't help but be attracted & drawn (literally & figuratively) to Koh. & i have a feeling that they wont end up in bed together, something will stop them & Pheem will forever miss his chance, which could effect him mentally - as he has already developed feelings for Jira. ********************************** ****************************************************************************************************************************************it feels like both Koh & Jira r slowly getting addicted to each other - for different reasons. does this mean love? idk - doubt it, but they do click. but between them, just being each others drug to being in a relationship - feels like there is vast chasm, which i doubt either can be bridged...
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dude, i didn't get Why the F*ck he didn't remove the jacket the sec he could - i would've thrown it at Koh with the award. but he wouldn't remove it, even in the shower like what?!???? ******************************************************************************the triangle is pretty messed up & kinda messing with Jira & Pheem's heads. as if Koh wasn't part of the equation, they would already be together, on the other hand given the fact that Pheem used the Burn Out Bar as a hook-up place, who knows if they wouldn't have just ended up as a one night stand. *********************************************************************************** also think the fact Pheem was Koh's bff & they were both suffering cause of him, made them trauma bond, it for sure renewed Jira's interest in Pheem. not that this gonna help Pheem in the long run, cause as much as Jira want's to be in-love with Pheem, his attraction to the "bad boy" is stronger & will end up winning out - as ironically Pheem too much of a good guy & thus boring, while Koh is a novelty - unexplored, exciting territory...
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this is so freakin good - at the end of the previous ep i miss read Jira, or rather he wasn't sure about kissing Pheem by the end - even though i am sure he was turned on by his tattoo & i have a feeling that if Pheem was more assertive & would've pushed Jira against the wall, he would've had him. but his soft kiss cooled Jira down & when he future apologized, he basically cock-blocked himself. ironically that's what he ended up doing again at the end of this ep too - when he told Jira he should answer Koh's call. *****************************************************************************************************************************also given the background info about Koh he isn't a psychopath, more of a sociopath & maybe it's a guilty conscience that's the cause of the insomnia. either way he doesn't want people in his life & is actively putting up walls to make sure no one gets too close - then he can go about his business without worrying about others feelings - as his interaction with Pheem showed he is capable off, caring that is. ************************************************************************************************************& as much as he tried Jira's insistence that he share lowered his guard & made him relax enough to fall asleep. little wonder he was desperate that Jira come back, as sleeping on the clothes didn't do the trick. this is gonna be a hell of a psychological roller costar a toxic triangle at that. wonder how each will fair by the end of this BL.
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Koh is a very dangerous character, the way he broke Jira isn't shocking - he knew exactly what he was doing & when Jira broke he offered a few positive words, that's how u condition a human or an animal. Jira doesn't even know it, but he is being played like a violin & nothing good is gonna come out of this "relationship", cause Koh is either a psychopath or a sociopath, either way he can't get emotionally involved (he isn't capable) that means, Jira is gonna be all alone - emotionally invested in whatever is between them. & Koh is never gonna change - to Koh Jira might as well be a a test subject to be used & then discarded once the experiment is over. if Jira was smart he would thank his lucky stars, he got fired after one job, leave & never look back. but then no BL. ***************************************************************************************************************************now Pheem is hot & a better option for Jira & from what we saw Jira is attracted to him, but his fascination with the weirdo will win. cause like most humans, he will wonder if he is the one that will be able to pernitrate the shell that's surrounding Koh's heart, that if he offers him some TLC Koh will open up & allow Jira into his world. that his love might change Koh - a lot of b.s. women have been deluding themselves with, into remaining with toxic abusive & evil man throughout time. ************************************************************************************************************************************************************btw Koh really is diabolical, now i get why he is such a recluse that doesn't want anyone to know who he is, doesn't want to be around him period. given what he is doing & how he is destroying companies & lives - even i would start to suffer from severe insomnia like him, where he just doesn't sleep no matter how big the dose of sleeping pills he takes. at least there is some justice in this world...
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interesting 1st ep - wont say i know what's what, but i liked the vibe & for sure liking Pheem, even though he tired to sound edgy he's totally a good-guy. maybe that's why Jira wasn't attracted to him. cause all of Pheem's "palm reading" was his way of getting closer to Jira & flirting with him, but till the end Jira wasn't moved or interested. ******************************************which wasn't the case when he encountered Koh, who with his stoic, standoffish persona awakened Jira's curiosity & then he found himself getting aroused. guess u can't help who u r attracted to, even if he's a walking red-flag.
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how toxic this was in the beginning & what a fluffy sweet wholesome ending - who would've thunk it. the mains were like cats & dogs ready to ripe each others heads of as soon as they looked at each other & in this ep they were soft & weepy - what love can do to u lol... but i didn't expect to enjoy it as i did & ironically not cause of all the erotic scenes. but loved how they grew together & even if it wasn't smooth sailing they made an effort to communicate & worked things out finally. am so happy how this turned out - really sweet for sure a rewatch
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given how fluffy & lovey dovey that whole scene was at the end, i kept wondering who is gonna walk in & burst their happy bubble. but it wasn't a person but a text. oh well, as if there isn't enough drama with the father, we got the whole scholarship to deal with. which given the fact Yai is rich, i don't think should be a problem, as he can go with Mangkorn, if anything they can be far away from the problems awaiting them in Thailand, with their parents & actually live like a couple without worries. *********also am very happy that Mangkorn wooed Yai & wouldn't stop, no matter how standoffish he was being, he wouldn't give up even when Nine showed-up. but Yai needs to communicate more & even if he wasn't ready to come clean about Nine with Mangkorn, when they were bickering in that restaurant over him, he should put a stop to it - but i guess he couldn't tell Nine 'this is my bf' as then Mangkorn hadn't confessed yet. hmm there is so much to wrap up - i hope it doesn't get a rush job. ********side note: this was the 1st time where seeing the mains together felt exciting, u could feel how comfortable & loving they were towards each other. this was worth the watch the rest was fast-forward worthy.
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that ending was hilarious - am so happy we got the POV of everyone else witnessing the kiss. know it looked like Yai was being an unreasonable brat, but his behavior was out of self preservation. & if anything, this ep made me like him even more. that scene with Mangkorn's mother made me cry. Yai is so lonely & alone it's heart breaking & just the thought that Mangkorn wouldn't be his, made him push him away cause he doesn't want to take chances with his heart. **********************************the fact that Mangkorn has had a crush on Yai since childhood or the 1st semester is shocking, cause he hasn't acted like he could even tolerate Yai at the start. guess he was more the 'boy that's pulling on the hair of the girl he likes' which is an interesting approach.... a very confusing one. but the fact he has been infatuated with Yai for a while & already confessed to his mother, was pleasantly surprising to discover. not only that, he wants to cancel his scholarship to study in NYC cause he doesn't want to part with Yai - all this, while Yai is pushing him away. if this aint love idk what is. Yai lucked out & given how he is silently suffering, Mangkorn is turning out to be his prize/compensation. ********************************************************about Nine i still don't get the sudden 180, but i appreciate Yai saying no in a very kind way. still think he needs to stop relying on him & put some distance between them. but i guess as he really doesn't have that many people he cares for - it's hard to do.*****************************************************************************************************************************************as much as i get Yai animosity towards his dads new gf i think his anger is misguided. he is really angry at his father, who neglected him while he needed him most & now he is always around with his gf. anyone would feel aggrieved - for a man that always acted like he was too busy, suddenly he got all the time in the world for a stranger?? understandable why Yai is so angry & petty. i feel bad for the new woman as she is trying her best & isn't the bad-guy. the father is the one at fault.******************ironic that all the fathers in this r very self-involved & treat their children like kids & not the adults they have become. btw i am still wondering how Mangkorn's mother met Yai. that was so random - even though that was a lovely scene - it didn't make sense.
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idk if this is a saying (but it should be) as when the dicks standing the brain doesn't work.. that's the case with the mains ending p in bed together. they very attracted to each other & very frustrated, as since that fateful sexual encounter they have been circling each other, but not giving in & that push & pull came to a fore with the physical altercation, that turned heated in the sexual way & the outcome isn't surprising. but i knew the euphoria would last long, the return to reality would be a crash & burn. as it was - what i find weird is that Mangkorn had to be strong armed into explaining the situation with Hong, yeah it is complex - but also very straight forward to explain. yet he made is so complicated not just confusing, but making Yai suspicious about the truth of the matter. still Yai was very candid about his confusion & Mangkorn instead of understanding him, got defensive. Yai is justified especially when he keeps seeing Mangkorn around women - not exactly induces trust. ****************i m sure Nine wasn't interested in Yai, not until his mini speech before his song - was seeing Yai heartbroken what did it? as he totally into Yai - suddenly. but i doubt Yai into him - even though it seemed like he was a player & he might had slept with a woman or two, but am sure that Mangkorn has a bigger body count.
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the one thing i can say, is that the mains got chemistry in spades.. & Yai was jealous at the end, but is he ready to admit that he has developed feelings? & the better question, should he??? cause Mangkorn not trustworthy IMO. the fact he is attracted isn't shocking, as after having sex with Yai i am sure that memory wasn't a bad one & even if it was mildly good, it would non stop be luring him back... for one more taste. & if he's attracted to Yai, then he would be doubly motivated to explorer all these new feelings that r consuming him. but that doesn't equate to love. & if Yai is just a curiosity, Yai being weary is smart, as jumping headlong into something unsure, will only bring him more heartache, as he is very lonely & vulnerable as is... ***********************************************************************************************************************************************************also it's all good & well Mangkorn's mother being understanding, but both she & the other mother should've put a stop to their husbands stupidity, the sec they got a chance. they both know better & weren't rejoicing as they knew what their husbands were doing was f*cked-up. so i hope they don't wait until a confrontation with the father occurs, cause the mother telling Mangkorn he should have a conversation is moronic, as given his fathers mentality in his eyes his children don't have a right to an opinion & they for sure have no right to contradict his decision. as his children they need to follow his orders - blindly. so idk WTH she was going on about, if anything it seemed like she knew that there would be no point as it would be the equivalent to bashing ones head against a brick wall. so she is basically passing the buck. ********************************************************idk who Nine is, but i didn't detect any one side attraction between him & Yai - yet i wish he came back & took Yai out of this situation. cause there is a part of me that wants Mangkorn to work for Yai - to woo him....
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i didn't expect the turn around after the Yai get's caught by Mangkorn, from him making him kneel & then shoving that soap bottle in his mouth "jokingly" to him driving him to his favorite spot, for a heart to heart - not expected to say the least. for sure didn't expect Mangkorn to offer friendship. from the moment they met there wasn't a sec where Mangkorn was hostile - openly so, towards Tai. so i don't get that, that was his way of making friends - but at last the tension has been broken & this has stopped being a toxic harrasment BL. so will take what i get & am just happy they could be more then civil towards each other. *****************************************************************************************************************************************also liked Da the dominatrix, who i thought was a good friend - guess she's someone Yai uses not just for sexual gratification but as a therapist. as i said in the ep before, there is something very lonely about him, even though he is surrounded by "friends" he is all alone & that's very sad - so idk if their relationship is monetary based or more the friends-with-benefits kind, but i like that he reach's out to her for advise or when he wants company & she is always there. even if they not committed - just the fact he has someone is reassuring. cause my heart aches for him - idk why the more i watch this the more i grow to like this character... maybe it's that deep down he is a very sweet, hurting, lonely child (cause he is immature). **************************************************************************************************************************************************************Mangkorn on the other hand really rubs me the wrong way - but after his trying to befriend & open up to Yai doesn't seem as toxic or narcissistic, let alone sadistic. so am hoping we see a more likeable side to him. *******************************************still didn't except that engagement announcement at the end - who does that to their children?!? ironically both kids where unhappy with the news, even Mangkorn's mother was shocked into silence. which day & age r we that a parent thinks this is ok.****************************************************************************************************************************************side note: i get that dumb & dumber r here for comic relief - sadly they not funny, if anything they annoying & incompetent ugh
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the only way i could get though this ep was fast-forwarding the majority of it. everyone's making my blood boil - i don't get why dumb & dumber r still employed, nor do i get how Yai can keep his composure around Mangkorn. not only after what he did to him but the fact that he is now blackmailing him. i would be out for blood. but Yai is veryyy passive about it & the scene where Mangkorn just walks into the doctors offices made me wanna flip the table - how that acceptable?!? in which country & still Yai sits there & takes it... like WTF - ******************************************************************************************************& even though Yai has brought a lot of this stupidity on himself, i feel sorry for him. he looks like he has the world & is this spoilt brat - but he is very lonely & alone.
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