Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (1983)

Definitely one that should have been left in the Shaw Brothers vaults

An almost desperate attempt to stay relevant during Hong Kong's emerging 80s New Wave movement, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is a seemingly Frankenstein'd fever dream of sex, sci-fi and ill-advised musical numbers. A serial farce that, even with logic and reason relegated to afterthoughts, the weirdness that shows up here is mystifying in its inanity. It feels like each of the six writers was separately sequestered and asked to write fifteen minutes' worth of material each before being thrown together in a blender; the result is a pretty risible sex comedy with incredibly poor jokes ranging from suicide and impotence to rape and fame, all delivered by a cast of petty, venal, tantrum-prone characters. Granted, there are some interesting enough production values, the special effects scenes are brief, but eye-catching: a giant spaceship made of stars, shuttle bays cribbed from Battlestar Galactica, a Millennium Falcon look-alike swoops across the night sky, while the vast sets are beautifully lit in swathes of orange, blue and gold. Director Alex Cheung was clearly more at home with his crime dramas, because when he turned his hand to the nonsense on display here, which is close to a full-on cinematic disaster, the energy is manic, the cast match it, but the sped-up slapstick quickly wears thin. Despite an amusing pseudo-lightsaber/nunchuck battle against a Darth Vader-clone towards the end, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is undoubtedly one film more geared towards the self-punishing crowd, a truly one-of-a-kind exercise in confusing entertainment. Definitely one that should have been left in the Shaw Brothers vaults because a few more layers of dust wouldn't have made much difference.

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