thuvi

such a beautiful way to ruin people; and i never even complained it

This is my first time writing a review and english is not my first language so I'm sorry if this turns into a mess.

First of all I really need to talk about P'Aof. As one of his biggest fans I already knew this series was going to be the end of me. I expected everything yet somehow he still shattered every expectation I had and left my soul in the prettiest kind of ruin. I owe him more than I could ever put into words for creating something like this and I am not exaggerating even a little.

As for the series itself... I am genuinely speechless. From episode 1 to 6 there wasn't a single moment when my mind wandered or when my heartbeat found its rhythm again. In most series we patiently wait for the main leads to have their moments a hand brushing against another, fingers intertwined, a simple confession but here Istg I didn't even want them to share a glance. It may sound cruel and some of you might even think I am rude but this is from my perspective. I am not even catholic yet the weight of every unspoken feeling felt sacred. Every time their eyes met I held my breath as if I had sinned myself. Their silence was louder than any confession could ever be.

In one way this was painfully difficult to watch. In another it was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. Not one of the most beautiful series this is the most beautiful series I have ever watched.

The rewatch value of this series is incredibly high yet I don't think I am strong enough to go through it again even though I already know how it ends. Some stories don't lose their power once you know the ending. They simply find new ways to break you.

I also deeply loved the relationship between Tan and father. At first I thought father would become the villain. but by the end I realized he understood Tan better than anyone else ever could. After all who was he to blame him when he already knew that the person suffering the most was Tan himself. Tan was always his favourite son all along.

And I love how Tan always clung to his rosemary cross even while questioning himself, even while wondering whether the voice he heard was still as loud as it was. It felt like watching someone desperately hold onto faith while standing at the edge of losing it.

I could talk about this series for hours, for days even. Every tiny detail, every symbol, every silence invites a different interpretation. The pain, the beauty, the longing, the misery... everything exists so perfectly together that none of it can survive without the other.

I always fell so much harder into Gemfot after finishing their series but this time I fell a little bit harder into P'Aof. Not being dramatic but I am truly so grateful. He definitely deserves that sunshine.

As it says in the Bible "And now these three remain faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)

May every Tanrak one day find their very own Barth because hate is the sin not love.

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