AshOnFire1808

I am so, so sad right now. I genuinely cannot express how sad I am that this series is over. My heart is hurting in the best way possible because what an outstanding, amazing show. But it's actually over. Three months of watching one of the best series I've ever seen in my life, and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that it is over.

I think I saw the first episode or the first two episodes, and I told, like everyone I knew, that this was gonna be one of the best series I've ever seen in my life. Like, I used to actively go around telling people to watch this show. It's amazing. It's outstanding. And here I am, almost three months later, proven right. And honestly, there's no better feeling.

There are so many aspects of this series that I can write about. But just off the top of my head, the relationship dynamics are outstanding. My friend and I watched this series together for the most part, and our biggest conflict was about the familial relationship between Tin and his father. We used to constantly go back and forth: did his father love him? Did his father not love him? The challenges that Tin was facing. And the wonderful part about watching a show with your friend is that you can go into really heavy detail and discussion about literally everything.

As an individual from the LGBT community, this show hit me really hard. I don't think I really need to explain why, but it really hit me hard. And watching the actors play the role so beautifully made me feel so much joy, yet caused me so much pain, because they were simply that good at their job. Actually, this should have been the first thing I mentioned: the acting. I don't think I've ever seen better acting from any of the actors. But I feel like Ongsa was absolutely outstanding. This is not to discredit any other actor, but Hansa was just so much better in his individual performance that it killed me. He single-handedly destroyed my soul almost every episode.

This is probably a very common favourite scene to have, but Thin begging on his knees to just have the freedom to love who he wants was probably one of the most heartbreaking scenes I've ever seen in my life. I really don't think I need to go into further explanation of why it was so heartbreaking, but it was utterly beautifully portrayed, I would say. As painful as it was, it was very realistic and very painful to watch. When you know you are in pain watching a scene, you know it's good acting, writing, directing, all of the above.

The first half, or the beginning of the series, was very chill, but we didn't know it was chill until we got into the second half. After we got into the second half, we realised, oh wow, it could actually be more intense than what we were expecting. Because the first half itself was so intense. We didn't think it could get worse, but yeah, it did get worse. The whole Phob-Thin dynamic was so horrible to watch. The constant push and pull of they love each other, but Phob is inevitably gonna break Thin's heart, and there's nothing we can do about it. Like, we know it's coming. No divergence's gonna take away from that part of the story. That will happen. It is a fact. But constantly watching the show and expecting the breaking point to come is so anxiety-inducing, but so worth it in the end. I was so mad at Phob, but Thin was truly and utterly forgiving. Tells you a lot about love, huh,

The one thing I did not want was a forced happy ending because, as much as I wanted a happy ending, which I always do, I always want a good ending more. And a forced happy ending is never a good one. Specifically in this situation, I was not able to see how a happy ending would be possible, but I was proven wrong in the best way ever. Another thing I really did not want under any circumstances was Phob dying instead of Thin, because that would immortalise him in the best way possible. Don't get me wrong, I love Phob. He's a wonderful character, but I'm a Thin girlie. Whoever dies at the end is martyred forever, and their death will always leave a greater impact. And honestly, I just didn't want that. I would have been fine with Thin dying, but not Phob. And then he did die, and there was a fifteen-minute segment where I was pissed. I was so mad. I was, like, from episode one to the end, I was, like, ten out of ten, ten out of ten, ten out of ten, and then suddenly I was considering giving it a nine, because that's a terrible ending. But it's my fault; how dare I doubt the director? All's well that ends well.

So then again we come to my very last yet important point. This was one of the best shows I have ever watched in my life. Best BL ever. Like, out of all the BLs I have seen, and I have seen so many, this is number one. Easy. It's so difficult to find good deals because the quality is just not as great as other shows get for some reason. So when you find something good, you really latch on to it. And this show isn't something I would call good. I would call this brain chemistry-altering, amazing, outstanding, perfect. I am truly in love with this drama, and it genuinely breaks my heart that it's over. Am I happy that it's happened? Yes. Am I sad that it's over? Yes. But I'm very happy that it has happened. I'm gonna remember this for a very long time.