Baicha

I think this drama was actually quite interesting. It was a bit overdramatic.
People were complaining a bit abt the character's seemingly not having a much of a personality outside of their relationship. I think this drama is only 12 episodes and is primarily focused on their relationship over the years. I like that it doesn't get too distracted from this and that the main storyline is them and their relationship, which I think provides enough material for this show because its quite complex.
People were bit shocked by the toxic ML - I'll get to this later.
I like that this drama carries themes of homosexual relationships, which are relevant to millions of people like homophobia within families. I like that we're shown the perspective of Cheng Yi Chen who tries to maintain a relationship through just avoiding the topic or lying because he loves his Mother regardless and just tries to make her happy, the perspective of his Brother who also just pretends and avoids the topic, the perspective of Qin Lang who tries to stall and also avoid and then the perspective of Lu Feng who wants to be out and proud and is so combative in his life.
So we already arrived at a toxic trait of Lu Feng's - his combatitiveness and lack of impulse control. He gets emotional so quickly and then blows everything out of proportion when things seem to be not going the way he wants them to. I think part of this also comes from the way he was brought up - his Father always beating him means he was taught he can achieve anything through a fight as long as he is the stronger one, rather than seeing the Value in Discussion. It also made him think that physical aggression between family members is acceptable behaviour. Obviously his lack of impulse control made his Father beat him more often, so it's not just physical abuse in itself, but also the amount of times he was experiencing it.

However, I don't think this drama is necessarily a story of a "victim falling in love with his abuser" as one review put it. I don't want to come accross as excusing any of Lu Feng's action's, obviously a lot of them are not ok. But I think this is a story of two character's who are deeply flawed constantly clashing. On top of that in a world which isn't the most gay-friendly which puts several external pressures onto their relationship. I think almost all of their issues throughout the drama could have been avoided with communication - and Lu Feng calming down lol, but maybe he would have if they would have communicated more.
- I mean their relationship also started when they were teenagers, so I understand why they were not perfectly communicating then and then a lot of extreme things happen, which make it more awkward.

But I think Cheng Yi Chen has issues as well. His issues are that he bottles things up, has low self-esteem, a people-pleaser and conflict avoidant. I think this is the reason he failed to communicate with Lu Feng properly, which is what increasingly burdened Lu Feng to the point where he felt that he couldn't believe anything Cheng Yichen said. At which point their communication completely failed and the worst things between them happened.
As for those things - I mean it was very intrusive (I think in general Lu Feng was very intrusive, which for me comes from his lack of impulse control - like in that scene in his office when he sleeps with Cheng Yi Chen and Yi Chen tries to stop him at first because its inappropriate in the office - because of his lack of impulse control Lu Feng doesn't care whether it is appropriate at the office), but for nothing I saw I am sure I would classify it as rape, because before sex you could always see Cheng Yi Chen initiating as well. Sexual Abuse was there for sure.
I am not trying to shift the blame for Cheng Yi Chen being sexually abused or "held hostage" - again, about this I am not a hundred percent sure, but from what Lu Feng said he could have called the police at any point, meaning he had access to a home line or something... but he didn't, because he actually did wan't to stay with Lu Feng, he just assumed Lu Feng couldn't forgive him, so he bottled it up and accepted what was happening, with this it's like yes, Lu Feng was psychologically terrorising Cheng Yi Chen, but idk if he was legally "kidnapping" him -, I'm just saying they both triggered the worst aspects of their personalities, which resulted in these situations.
Because the story takes place over years, they grow to understand their personalities - somewhat. At least they came to grow more patience for each other.
Lu Feng's overbearing and abusive actions also - somewhat understandably - drive Cheng Yi Chen to bottle more things up and basically become a shell of himself. As a conflict-avoidant person myself I understand that if I am in a situation which is very upsetting to me, rather than standing my ground I try to either run away (as Cheng Yi Chen does frequently, which deeply hurts Lu Feng because he is obsessed with Yi Chen - I'll get to that later), or I shut down (as Cheng Yi Chen does when he is kept by Lu Feng).

Another toxic trait of Lu Feng's is his lack of empathy. He really struggles to understand other's. Here I want to circle back to the families. When Lu Feng's (abusive) Father died, he seemed almost relieved. Contrast that with Cheng Yi Chen, who genuinely loved his parents and was destroyed when his parents died. Lu Feng could not understand this at all and therefore wasn't a very good support. This happened throughout the drama. I mean his lack of empathy also brought him to say those things to the Mum, I mean he couldn't understand how she might be upset by the things he is saying.

The lack of empathy and the lack of a proper family also brought about another toxic trait of Lu Feng's: His possessiveness of Cheng Yi Chen. For him, Cheng Yi Chen was the only person who mattered in his life. Yi Chen had more people he cared about. Because of his own lack of a caring family, Lu Feng's feels almost threatened by those people. Which he expresses through his combativeness with the little Brother.
This is connected to Lu Feng's central fear (which intensifies as years go on because it keeps happening, also because of Cheng Yi Chen's conflict avoidance): Losing Cheng Yi Chen.

I don't want to call the Bipolar Disorder a toxic trait of Lu Feng's - because its an disorder. All I am going to say is that I actually know quite a few people struggling with this. When you go through Manic episodes, you're behavior can sometimes scare other people/drive them away. I'm not saying this always leads to criminal actions, but I am saying that people who do commit criminal actions, cannot be seen as fully in charge of those actions. Sometimes they don't even remember they're actions in these episodes. Anyways its good he got medicated. And I like how Cheng Yi Chen helped him to make that decision.
The feeling of "I can't be crazy" and therefore refusing treatment is also something I have often come across.
And yeah, the Disorder properly worked together with the toxic traits of Lu Feng and the general issues in their relationship to make everything a lot more intense and therefore worse.

Anyways, besides the deep clashes in their personalities which led to bad conflicts, I did see their chemistry and obsession and understood why they always went back to each other.
Cheng Yi Chen was always obsessed with Lu Feng while they were apart. After his divorce, he initially wen't to seek Lu Feng out, but got cold feet. I felt this dynamic so often. He wanted to get with Lu Feng, but then held himself back because he was scared of something, which made Lu Feng angry and act extreme (lack of impulse control + empathy), which would scare Cheng Yi Chen more. Being conflict avoidant he then shut down and/or try to leave but then still only think about Lu Feng.
But it got better when they spent more together and gained patience for each other (like the second time they properly dated and the end - the first time was just a simpler time in general and they were teenagers).