catastrophes

i teared up so much watching the aftermath of sun yuan zhu's death & his words and thoughts. especially at the way that he purely and selflessly loved tao, and sun yu also loving him in the same kind of manner. and how tao did not even need to think twice about giving comfort to yuan zhu when he needed it most. it really just highlighted how much importance the depth of their bond was to them, rather than allowing romantic love destroy their friendship instead.

they were each others' safe harbours whilst navigating adulthood and the trappings of beijing and ahhh i will always love a good found family trope ;__; may you now find the light sun yuan zhu!!!

correct me if i'm wrong, but the only people that luan nian has introduced tao as his girlfriend is his 3 friends? even though his mother knows he is dating, she doesn't actually know /who/ tao is. so yes while they are in a "relationship" for many years, but in reality, they also barely go on any outdoor dates, can't even do normal things that a normal bf/gf would do so until their boss x subordinate relationship ends (biggest problem here), i can see why tao was hesitant to let him into her own circle considering she has much more to lose than he does (which is why it was a big move for her to attempt discussing it with him but man was it just poor timing)

and i definitely agree about tao dropping the fact that she is going for dinner with her ex when she did was also not great lol but in her defence, she did say he arrived early so i don't think she meant for it to be literally seconds beforehand haha

1) she did tell luan nian she was helping out at sun yu's event? she didn't even know that her account was being used so how could she tell him about that beforehand?

2) i mean sure she should have probably introduced luan nian as her boyfriend to the ex-bf to make sure there is proper boundaries, so that one is on tao, but to me, it was because tao has barely told /anyone else/ that she is dating someone, let alone her boss. it wasn't exactly the right timing tbh considering it was a work environment, also the ex was about to attend a class reunion the next day, and he also knows her other friend (the one she finally revealed that she was dating to) so maybe she didn't want the news spreading

+ tao also doesn't have any further romantic feelings for her ex so i don't see what's wrong with a friendly hug goodbye considering they have parted on good terms. but alright, that is again a boundary issues thing that varies person to person - so in this case, open communication would be the answer for either luan nian or tao to say outright they don't like it

5) yeah their present is messed up, but i think tao has the right to worry about the future and question it because why should they even go public and should she carry on with this relationship if luan nian doesn't have the same end goal as her

lmao right!! whilst i am still rooting for a happy ending for both of them together because i am a romantic at heart, but in reality, i really do think they would be better off without each other considering this never ending cycle of breaking up and getting back together without actually figuring out the root cause of the problem. but!! hopefully the final break up will make them realise and change for the better

actually if you scroll down this mdl page, you will see plenty of posts blaming tao for exactly those things that i commented about which is why i made my comment. i wasn't referring to or defending against tao's inability to confide in luan nian about certain issues or his insecurities. that's a completely separate story.

however, if you do want to delve into it more, i do agree that a good chunk of the core problem here is definitely luan nian's growing insecurities from how tao makes him feel. you can see him wrestle with how proud he was with tao doing a brilliant job with the campaign, along side with how she is now starting to shine in a way where he almost doesn't feel needed by her anymore. coupled with how she is unwilling to bring him into her life circle or prioritise him as being number one to rely on, so i can see why he would feel hurt from his pov.

again explaining some of tao's behavior this ep doesn't mean that i am solely villainising luan nian, which i feel as if you're insinuating here. i gladly agree that they both have some serious work ons, however i just did not like the fact that some people are only blaming tao for some things which is why i wanted to touch upon and clarify some issues.

also, tao never hid her meeting with her ex? she literally tells him right to his face that she was going to have dinner with him.

ep 18 was seriously so rage-bait, from the plot, to the editing & also to some of the comments i'm seeing because it almost feels like i'm watching a completely different show to some of y'all... like...

1) the fake dating app profile info & chats were system generated rather than tao actually talking with 45 guys personally. it was also to encourage the matches to come to the singles event that she was helping out with in person. you can see she was only doing the registration and fobbed off the interested guy rather than actually going around on dates or pretending that she was single

1.5) she signed up to the app when sun yu first began the start up so obviously she would still have the ability to log in to delete the app, but it doesn't mean she lied when she said she didn't log in previously because again she (nor sun yu) didn't even know her account was being used

2) agree that she definitely should have given LN more of a heads up that she was meeting her ex, but not sure why there is so much double standards crucifying tao for hugging her ex when LN also hugged zang yao when she left? sure she never dated him, but he definitely knew she had feelings for him?

3) also what's wrong with tao walking the dog and having a laugh with her flatmate/friend? some people acting like she got naked and did the dirty right in front of luan nian like omg

4) people blaming tao for drinking too much and saying that she should know better considering that she was recently just SA'ed? the victim blaming mentality here is insane

5) also tao wasn't asking luan nian to get married and have a kid there and then. she was just merely speculating about a possible future with him to see if he was on the same wavelength. yes timing probably wasn't that great, but i can see how she has become so exhausted about everything that she was finally willing to go public despite the potential fall out

anywayyyy, at this rate both of them should just break up and never get back together lol

they'll likely do a short break up again in tomorrow's episode, but judging from the new preview schedule, the final break up looks to be episode 20!

at this point i am just FROTHING for their break up.

to me, tao tao is such a stubborn, independent person who refuses to be a burden, only wanting to stand equally with her loved one, especially when you consider the immense status gap between her and luan nian (stemming from their superior x subordinate relationship & the rich beijing master x beijing drifter dynamic). she also comes from a family that is so loving and kind with their words, so i'm not surprised that LN's repeated callous & biting comments would take such a great toll on her, and the nature of this underground relationship and their inability to see eye-to-eye at the right time causes her to heavily struggle with emotional vulnerability and baring herself completely to him.

however, on the other hand, i can also see why luan nian acts & feels the way he does. from his pov, it appears that zitao doesn't seem to love or trust him enough to prioritise him, or be honest and confide in him with both major and trivial issues as one should with a significant other. and while he has been calling her his girlfriend and letting her into his inner circle, she doesn't seem willing to introduce him properly to hers. this lack of security obviously gets even more amplified in the next episode when they run into her ex-bf, and between him & sun yuan zhu, who both are very gentle and caring towards zitao, vs the fact that he still doesn't have the "right" to show off his affections in public, so it's no wonder this pent up resentment and jealousy about her having these "escape routes" makes LN even more defensive.

however, while his emotions are not inherently wrong per-say, i just really can't agree with the current way he's moving - like with his timing of scolding her following the SA or later, the extreme harshness of his comments when she speculates about a possible future with him. it's really no wonder the break up is truly inevitable because unfortunately, the system they both set up initially is now just trapping them in this very ugly, stagnant cycle.

so that's why i need heavily for them to be apart so that tao tao can stop marinating in her insecurities and to realise that relying on a loved one doesn't have to necessarily equate with giving up her independence, and desperately for luan nian to learn how to put his ego and arrogance aside, to not take for granted that tao tao will run back to him each time, and that unconditional love is not measured in what you take, but what you can give without need for return instead.

TL;DR: they both just need to fucking communicate with each other and I NEED SOME ACTUAL WIFE CHASING GROVELLING PLEASE!!!!!

sorry for the late reply! in the novel kitty is actually much more of a manipulative green tea antagonist who willingly slept with dony and then after zitao reports dony, she says stuff along the lines like "they probably couldn't agree on a price" and then gets beaten up by lumi haha

essentially it's a build up of several things like him asking her if she has a boyfriend, or asking her to dinner and then sending her a nude pic via text etc. tao obviously rejects all of his advances. at one point he then follows her to the bathroom & then pulls her into an empty room and attempts to assault her. thankfully he only gets as far as pinning her against the wall and holding her neck. tao manages to get away when another colleague walks in. i don't think the drama adaptation will make it worse than that! hopefully!

yesss i mean luan nian probably put the fear of god in her previously anyway but i would like to think that whilst she may be a very career oriented person doing whatever she can to get opportunities, she still has her morals & wouldn't allow another girl to suffer the same fate as whatever dony did to her... this was a great deviation from the novel!

yay for more girls girls moments with tao tao shielding her co-worker from the drinking pressures, and kitty for not just throwing tao into the pits of hell with dony. despite the screen time constraints, the scriptwriter has done a great job so far of portraying some really charming women - tao, ofc goes without saying, but also tracey & lumi with how strong and protective they are. sun yu, with how encouraging she is (& how heartbreaking her r/s is with sun yuan zhu), and even zang yao thankfully wasn't just made out to be a 1D villain relentlessly stealing a man. we love women who will have each others' backs!!

?? if some guy i'm dating or sleeping with mocks me saying the flower that suits me best is a goddamn WEED best be sure there will be consequences, let alone the other stunts he's pulled. also i said the FL isn't blameless either so not sure why you're coming at me for my comment

same omg the drama better make him WORK.... like man better thank his genes because without that face he would have been kicked to the curb long ago... like tao tao i totally get why you were trapped in that charm pit for so many years

yess i am WAITING for the scene in the trailer where he rings her disconnected number talking about wanting to see the northern lights with her but she is gone and there's tears streaming down his face. they really know what the people want!!

the rare drama where we are all rooting for the break up like let's get to the part where she wrecks him for good, he sobs his heart out, and then he has to beg & grovel for forgiveness. i need the chasing wifey to the crematorium trope to be extra delicious. like i know tao tao isn't fully blameless in this situation but whatever, i 100% support womens rights and wrongs!!!

major spoilers //

essentially he is depressed & is burdened / heavily pressured by some family issues if i remember correctly. the novel never really fully delves into it tbh.

He does play a big role in tao & luan nian's relationship - tao was very insistent on taking up a promotion role which involved moving to the northwest for a long period of time to better herself & by coincidence SYZ was stationed very close by. during this time, LN makes a trip there and unfortunately witnesses tao giving (friendly) comfort to SYZ after his mum passes away. he misinterprets them crying & hugging, and it plays into his insecurities + this remains quite a contention point between them.

anyways later SYZ comes back to beijing & the girls think that he is finally getting better and getting help, however in the end he commits suicide by jumping off a building...

tao is obviously very very affected by his passing, and it is essentially icing on the cake for when tao finally decides to leave LN & move back to harbin

you can read the english translated ver on mydramanovel (.) com !

actually the stylist is huang wei who has done a huge number of large scale productions before and is quite renowned, but you're also correct in that it's a lower level S project (according to the new tencent guide) so the investment is sadly less. but it's still better than blossom's A level and we all saw how successful it was so i have faith they can still produce a good outcome!! fingers crossed the script especially is adapted well ~

totally! we've only seen like 3 outfits so far, and apparently they're filming for 4-5 months so there's still way more to be revealed. also mu wan yao dressed like an average commoner a few times to blend in and yan shang is pretty poor to begin with too so it would make sense if their outfits aren't luxurious all the time. but mwy in red and ys in blue or green would be the ultimate vision!