3
5
jpny01
Horrendous, nauseating, and yet still boring as f.
That was awful. I'll start with the positives:
- Mos is supernaturally attractive. Every bit of him is stunning - hot body, porcelain skin, handsome face, those eyes, sexy voice, all of him.
End of positives.
This feels like it was written by a very sheltered 13-year old girl who inserted herself into the story as Bank's character. I'm not sure how else to describe his total lack of agency and relentlessly female wardrobe. You might think he has agency, but think about it - he's just a plot device, not a person. Even the one ability he has, designing jewelry (and the necklace is hideous), only exists when it's needed to move the "plot" "forward", and it's usually inspired by the supernatural elements of the story that are totally pointless and have no effect on anything.
I feel zero chemistry between Mos and Bank except insofar as Mos is so hot that he has some with anything that's in the same room with him. Partly because Bank's character is so vacuous and unrealized that there's nothing to be attracted to. Think about it. Describe his character: he... uh,... well,... he dresses like a girl. And wears so much makeup that if he actually were a girl, he'd look like a sex worker. That's really it. Oh wait, he faints a lot. A LOT.
This was the worst example of the worst kind of uke, who is incapable of surviving an average day without a seme to save him from drowning in 1 inch of water (this actually happens). Lin wants to use lovey-dovey nickhames, so he decides to call Sun "Dad". Not "daddy", which is at least an accepted slang term for an older (and generally wealthy) man, but "dad", which is only ever used in reference to your biological father (or occassionally a father-in-law) - is it possible for something to be more cringe? It's the ultimate infantilization.
The vaunted NC-17 scenes are so bad it's unintentionally funny. You get to see Mos's ass in the paint scene, so there is that, but that they didn't take off their high-fashion clothing first took me right out of the story. You could feed an entire village in Bangladesh for a year with what those outfits cost (in story). There's a BJ scene with slurping sound so loud that it would disturb Japanese people at a ramen bar. I guess Sun must have a micropenis, because otherwise there shouldn't be enough room in Lin's mouth to slurp anything.
One of the secondary couples has bird sex in a toilet stall while one of their fathers is watching while bent over backwards in a disturbing pose.
The only couple that's vaguely engaging also goes full uke-seme, the absence of which dynamic was what actually made them appealing - Yo behaved like a man, until he had a boyfriend, when he reverted to acting like a very sheltered 13-year old girl.
The production seems to think that loud = funny. All you need to do is have your characters scream their lines, and it's all very ha. (Or I guess it's "all very 5" for our Thai viewers.)
But worst of all, this was just dull. It wasn't fun to hate-watch, like Unforgotten Night - it just made me cringe almost continuously - and thank God for the +10 seconds button on iQiyi.
I can't recommend this - the only thing in it with appeal is Mos, and you can get anything you want of him and more on his instagram.
- Mos is supernaturally attractive. Every bit of him is stunning - hot body, porcelain skin, handsome face, those eyes, sexy voice, all of him.
End of positives.
This feels like it was written by a very sheltered 13-year old girl who inserted herself into the story as Bank's character. I'm not sure how else to describe his total lack of agency and relentlessly female wardrobe. You might think he has agency, but think about it - he's just a plot device, not a person. Even the one ability he has, designing jewelry (and the necklace is hideous), only exists when it's needed to move the "plot" "forward", and it's usually inspired by the supernatural elements of the story that are totally pointless and have no effect on anything.
I feel zero chemistry between Mos and Bank except insofar as Mos is so hot that he has some with anything that's in the same room with him. Partly because Bank's character is so vacuous and unrealized that there's nothing to be attracted to. Think about it. Describe his character: he... uh,... well,... he dresses like a girl. And wears so much makeup that if he actually were a girl, he'd look like a sex worker. That's really it. Oh wait, he faints a lot. A LOT.
This was the worst example of the worst kind of uke, who is incapable of surviving an average day without a seme to save him from drowning in 1 inch of water (this actually happens). Lin wants to use lovey-dovey nickhames, so he decides to call Sun "Dad". Not "daddy", which is at least an accepted slang term for an older (and generally wealthy) man, but "dad", which is only ever used in reference to your biological father (or occassionally a father-in-law) - is it possible for something to be more cringe? It's the ultimate infantilization.
The vaunted NC-17 scenes are so bad it's unintentionally funny. You get to see Mos's ass in the paint scene, so there is that, but that they didn't take off their high-fashion clothing first took me right out of the story. You could feed an entire village in Bangladesh for a year with what those outfits cost (in story). There's a BJ scene with slurping sound so loud that it would disturb Japanese people at a ramen bar. I guess Sun must have a micropenis, because otherwise there shouldn't be enough room in Lin's mouth to slurp anything.
One of the secondary couples has bird sex in a toilet stall while one of their fathers is watching while bent over backwards in a disturbing pose.
The only couple that's vaguely engaging also goes full uke-seme, the absence of which dynamic was what actually made them appealing - Yo behaved like a man, until he had a boyfriend, when he reverted to acting like a very sheltered 13-year old girl.
The production seems to think that loud = funny. All you need to do is have your characters scream their lines, and it's all very ha. (Or I guess it's "all very 5" for our Thai viewers.)
But worst of all, this was just dull. It wasn't fun to hate-watch, like Unforgotten Night - it just made me cringe almost continuously - and thank God for the +10 seconds button on iQiyi.
I can't recommend this - the only thing in it with appeal is Mos, and you can get anything you want of him and more on his instagram.
Was this review helpful to you?
