He may have “the mind” of a 45 year old man–in the eyes of a 21 year old girl. He sure doesn’t have the experience of one. He’s trying to find the perfect Slovenian girl who will never hurt him by dating…no one?

Janie, this young man either has a terrible secret that is the real reason that keeps him from “getting out there” or he is setting himself up for crazy town, disullusionment, dank bitterness. People hurt each other. Period. We don’t necessarily mean to, but during any relationship between anybody ever, someone is insensitive to someone else’s feelings. He is going to have a looooong wait.

So, I would have to say, not only is Jeff’s bottom line absolutely correct–this fellow does not want to date you –but you shouldn’t want to date him, either. Let him dream his dreams of a plastic, shrink wrapped, factory sanitized Girl-O-Matic….you go on out into the real world. Spend less time with him. Get “out there” yourself. You’ll grow up faster than him and find more love and joy.

Special commendation to Jeff for his remarks about “hurt.” Yeah, we’ve all been hurt. Why do people think they should get a special pass? We’ve all got stories. Just try not to make the same mistakes too often because there won’t be any room for new ones….

Maybe he’s just not interested in you romantically. He did, after all, say that you didn’t click.
The talk about not wanting to get hurt…This could be his (immature) way of letting you down without actually letting you down.

Janie, as young as you are, I’m sure you will be breaking a lot of hearts as well. You will meet lots of great guys that just aren’t ‘the one’. Doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with them. They just aren’t right for you. And you might find yourself making the same excuses. (I’m not ready for a relationship, it’s not you, it’s me, I don’t want to get hurt).

I was in the same boat recently; spent my time chasing after a guy I was into and I thought was into me; and I just KNEW that this was my perfect guy, i.e. I couldn’t see myself with anyone but HIM.

I finally got the message loud and clear that he just wasn’t into me like that. Even though I made it crystal clear I really dug him, he never returned my advances and our “relationship” never evolved past the friendship level.

Finally, I accepted that we were just never going to be a romantic couple. Shortly thereafter, I met a really nice guy whom I really, really dig AND the icing on the cake is he thinks I’m THE BEES KNEES (or the BIZ-OMB as you youngsters say!!) and loves me to PEICES.