mywanderingmind

I wrote you numerous replies, but for what-whenever reasons it always disappeared before I could post it.

Yichen's mother was a shallow bitch, who didn’t give a shit about his child. Yichen' s brother was a horrible, hypocritical piece of shit.

Sure. Have a good night!

Well, just as I said: All you spit is hate.

Well, surely ,there is reason why these so called f-ed up, red, black (or whatever) series got that much attention? So, why do watch it?

There are plenty non toxic, sweet, everything is sunshine and rainbrow series

Well, maybe you should read 2rha, where the ML got damned and cursed for the very reason why he decided to get damned and cursed?

It’s one of my favorite novel. It took months of pauses for me to read it, because how it affected me emotionally.

Honestly, at this point, I'm staring to question if you’re a real person or an AI, because all you spit is hate?

Well. According to Google, the meaning of toxic relationship is this, and according to your answer, you knew, that it was gonna be a toxic BL.

"A toxic relationship is characterized by one person's detrimental behaviors that harm the mental and/or physical health of another. This dynamic often involves manipulation, control, and emotional abuse, leading to feelings of low self-esteem and insecurity for the affected individual."

So, I ask again, why did you watch it?

It's kinda hard to believe. Because nowdays there is so much, so widespread media cover, review, social platforms and whatever sites you could have checked if it wasn’t for you.

Even in this forum, there were several hints and comments about what was gonna happen.

I'm sure, that's because you haven't read, Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) or Sissy?!

Well, then, why do you watch it?

That's an excerpt from the novel. Honestly, it’s so f-ed up and tragic, I just felt utterly sad for all of them.

“Yi Chen, you do want to leave don’t you?”

I nodded without any hesitation.

Lu Feng gave me a look steeped deep in contempt, and then turned his head to scorn at Zhuo Lan, ”I am not related to him? Do you have any idea what my relationship with your husband ….. is?”

I almost jumped up in shock: “Lu …….”

He reached me in two big strides and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt: “Let me show you what I am to him ……”

“What are you trying to do, stop …..” I frantically tried to sweep his fumbling fingers away from me, my whole body aching like it is on the verge of splitting apart into scattered pieces.

Remorseless, he seized the bruised arms I was dead-set on guarding over my ravaged chest and pulled them to the sides. My fingers twisted around my shirt in a last-ditch attempt to prevent it from being fully undone, staunchly refusing to let go.

Please, please don’t force me …….

With a brutal snap, I watched my arms droop down listlessly.

A chest covered with numerous bruises of differing colors, wounds healed and fresh, and even splotches of blood, fully exposed with nowhere to hide.

My arms which had just been viciously twisted, could not even reach out to block them.

“You can see for yourself now, can’t you? He will never like women, the things he did with me, did your son not tell you? Let me tell you then, your husband ….. ha, husband ….. he has been fucked by me since he was fourteen, why, are you surprised? How dignified do you think he is? If only you can see what a slut he becomes when he is under me …….”

He might have said more, but I could not hear anymore.

Lu Feng, you really, no longer care if I die.

“Shut up!” Zhuo Lan screamed, “You shut up ….. you did this to him ….. you hurt him ….. I will kill you ……”

How and when that gun appeared in her hand, no one noticed.

From start to end, it may have been a span of less than three seconds. From the moment she pulled out the gun she had hidden in her handbag and aimed it at Lu Feng, until the time the bullet shot with an intent to kill hit me straight in the heart.

As blood started gushing out of my chest, I looked down at the spreading red stain in puzzlement. Am I the one ….. who blocked him?

How strange ….. how did I get in front of him? There obviously were not enough time to think ……

Instinctively, I just ……

I staggered and fell down.

This is actually not bad.

I am too tired, I always wanted a good rest. From now on, he will not hurt me anymore.

A sharp pain emanated from my chest. The person holding me seems to be Lu Feng. My eyes are blurred, unable to see his expressions. “Xiao Chen, Xiao Chen …….”

Are you calling me that?

Why does it sound so unfamiliar …….

“Please don’t …….”

Don’t what? Even hearing …… is becoming difficult.

If I don’t speak now, will I never again have the chance?

With great effort, I opened my mouth: ” …… I hate you.”

“I know….. ” He desperately wiped at the blood that kept welling out from the corners of my mouth, “I know, don’t talk anymore ……”

“I hate you,” I wanted to say it all with my last remaining breath, “You did that to Yi Chen ….. you caused my mom to …… you destroyed my …… you …… Wen Yang ……” I was still trying to speak, but the fresh blood rushing up my throat was gushing out in such large amount that it was impossible to.

“I know …… I know it all, you stop talking now, just wait for a while, I’ll take you to the hospital, you ……”

“…… I …… “I struggled, “…… hate you, but ……”

But, why do I feel…….

…… so sad?

…… that feeling that is deeper than hate, what is it?

The world turned silent.

Suddenly I had a flashback to the time when we were youths, he is hugging me so close to him, and he asked me, “We’ll be together forever, right?”

I nodded my head so, so hard, so hard because I know my life depends on it.

Back then, we were such a silly loving couple."

I believe, honestly not quite sure about, but I think I coud've somehow forgive her for all the failure and toxicity, and damage she bestowed on Yi Cheng, if she actually ever came to realize her failures in Yi Cheng's up bringing, and the damage and conseqence of her toxic behavior

But, the most tragic thing is, she never did. Because se never even realized or thought, she was wrong.


Until her last dying breath, in the novel, she never apologized or said sorry.

Honestly, I’m not sure. Because they already diverted from the novel. In the novel they were like 20 years apart, and both Yi Cheng brothers as well as Lu Feng had a son. Ke Luo is actually Lu Feng's son in the novel. And they play a very significant and very heartbreaking part in their life and in their relationship.

But since they don't exist in this version, I suppose that arc gonna be left out, and for good, because believe me, that’s gonna be a really-really terrible and heart wretchedly, agonising, painful train wreck of a journey.

And I should warn everyone who doesn't like Lu Feng, rape, physical, mental and verbal abuse, Honestly STOP WATCHING.

Because though I do love Lu Feng, but after this episode, he really gonna become a wild, crazy beast and a monster.

According to what I watched in the trailer, I suppose the kiddnaping gonna happen.
So, he's going to kidnap, drug, rape, physically, emotionally, mentaly assault, humiliate, restrain and lock Yi Cheng up in his house.

His exwife comes to free him and wants to shoot Lu Feng, but Yi Cheng jumps before him and he's gonna be the one who gets shot.

He's gonna be in coma in a hospital like for a year? I can’t remember the exact ammount of time, but he's gonna wake up. While Lu Feng stays by his site the entire time.

So, anyway, after tons loads of misunderstanding, heartbreak, anguish, suffering, twists and turns, they do end up living together. But Lu Feng is like 50 and Xie Cheng 45-46 years old when it happens in the novel and they get their HEA.

I suppose he blamed him for his already terminally ill homophopic, egocentric, emotional abuser mother's death. For his brother’s accident, even if his brother was the one who started the fight and provoked Lu Feng. (The fact, he did admitted to Yi Cheng, years and years later in the novel.)

Yes. You said it.

I actually don’t hate Yi Cheng, because he was a kind hearted, warm, good person.

I just hate how he handled his realitionship with Lu Feng.

How he never chose him, how quick he was to judge and blame Lu Feng. How he never stood up for or by Lu Feng. How easily manipulated he was by others against Lu Feng, while Lu Feng not once gave up on them, and not once let himself be influenced by others, or cared about anyone's opinion or judgment if it came to Yi Cheng and their relationship or his love for him.

He practically gave up his family, his wealth, his life of luxury and entitlement just to be with him.

He was a very pride full person, but he even continuously gave up his pride and kept begging, pleading Yi Cheng to stay with him.
He kept tolerating both verbal and physical abuse from his own as well as from Yi Cheng's family for his love of Yi Cheng.

And not once, did his strength and intensity wavered in his devotion and in his deep, unabated love for Yi Cheng.

Sure.

Yeah. Honestly, while reading the novels, I didn't-couldn't understand Lu Feng's unwavering love for Xie Cheng for about 35 years. Because as he said to Lee, to his son's boyfriend in the novel "Love late."
Xie Cheng never chose him.

Yeah.
I watched Moon Indigo and the Novelist. Started to watch my Personal Weatherman.
Wasn't my cup of tea.
I stored it away as smtg I couldn't relate to.

Honestly, I don't know. Till today, there isn’t a proper translation of the novel. I read it on some Chinese site at the time while had to click on English transformation after every chapter.