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Because This Is My First Life korean drama review
Completed
Because This Is My First Life
56 people found this review helpful
by Kii
Jul 22, 2019
16 of 16 episodes seen
Completed 19
Overall 6.5
Story 6.5
Acting/Cast 10.0
Music 6.0
Rewatch Value 6.0
This review may contain spoilers
Spoilers!!!!

Beautiful story and concept but the ending with how the main couple gets back together was extremely toxic.

I really enjoyed this drama. Loved the storylines and the chemistry between each of the couples was wonderful. The ensemble felt very flowing. The conclusion that love and marriage can look different to everybody and you just have to work that out between partners was amazing.

However, I have a big issue with one of the message about relationships; we learn that Ji Ho knew that Se Hee was going to confess before she decided to end the contract and move out. She tells everyone else that she loves him but wants him to open up his most vulnerable self to her. But, she doesn't tell him that. Instead, she lies about why she's leaving. She could have said, "I want to end the contract because I'm having feelings. Can we talk about that and whether you are, too, and whether we want to be a real couple?" Instead, she tortures him. Knowing that he's in love with her, she leads him to believe she is traveling far away and has ended everything. Also knowing that a lot of his pain is from having been abandoned by someone he loved before. He's literally in a bad emotional state and I'd argue in a state of actual depression. Meanwhile, she's having fun in Seoul at the hostel and with her friends. Laughing it up at the sauna, etc.

When they are reunited, she doesn't wake him up to talk. She talks to him while he's half asleep, thinking he's dreaming. When he wakes up, she acts as if its completely normal that she's there doing laundry and making breakfast. He's rightfully angry. She smiles. He's rightfully angry that she's smiling. But, somehow, she gets to apologize with a smile on her face and be happy that he's angry and its all okay?

If someone had done this to me, I'd be over them. It was manipulative and cruel. It was TOXIC. I'd never trust her again. Here was this man who, despite his wounds, was always considerate and kind. He was definitely overly-cautious. But, he was so respectful of boundaries. He was protective. In his shocked state, after seeing his ex, he still thought to make her some tea. You don't always need words to know that someone loves you. Those actions are far more telling. If you fell in love with this person, why are trying to make him be different? And, if you need something from him, why don't you just say so instead of this cruel, underhanded behavior?

I really loved the chemistry between them up until this point. I never understood why she took the route she did. I agreed with her mother, "you're talking crap." She's wrapping up her destructive behavior in the romanticized metaphor of a story about a woman who ended up committing suicide. What the heck?

Why does everyone find what she did romantic? I ended up not liking her and worried about what else she might do in the future if things weren't going her way. She's actually a little twisted. It bothers me that no one is critical of this. That this is seen as something to aspire to. Don't treat people the way she did.

This is a shame. Crappy plot devices meant to drag the show's run time is what honestly ruined a top 5 drama for me. It was a complete disrespect for everything the drama stood for, especially in terms of characters and breaking cliches. But most importantly, it was a disrespect of the values this show held of how to make a strong relationship: Honesty and communication. This show spoke a lot about those concepts and the ending of it completely takes a hard dump on all of that. If your plot device/cliche could be cleared up by one sentence, you've already lost.
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