If you see every single time he recognises his mistakes and tries to apologise and change. She has never done that lol. She's the one expecting Luke to be a mind reader
Yeah, I don’t like Flora. I admire her work ethic, but that’s about it. She’s good to her roommates, but…
Careful, don’t say that too loudly 😂 you’ll get bashed here.
But honestly, I think this is a recurring pattern with Tao. Even with her ex, she later admits she blamed him for not coming to Beijing while she was focused on her own career. With Luke, we keep seeing a similar pattern of expecting the other person to understand her priorities, while not always considering how her choices affect them.
What annoys me is how some people are willing to analyse every flaw Luke has, while Tao is almost treated with moral superiority.
I really dislike Flora if I’m being honest. She doesn’t have proper boundaries with the opposite sex—visiting…
I get what you mean. Every time this comes up, people immediately say “but Luke hugged his childhood friend too.” Fine. if you think that was wrong, then call that wrong too.
But Tao has had multiple situations that would obviously make a partner uncomfortable: meeting her ex without telling Luke beforehand, letting that situation become physically intimate while she was drunk, being extremely close with her roommate after Luke had already expressed insecurity about where he stands, etc.
You can explain every individual incident, and this hug may genuinely have just been her comforting a grieving friend. But the bigger issue for me is the pattern.
Throughout the drama, Luke has repeatedly felt like he only occupies one small corner of Tao’s life. He wants emotional security and reassurance that he actually matters as her partner, yet he often feels like the “weekend boyfriend” while the people she lives and works with are much more integrated into her everyday life.
That doesn’t mean Tao can’t have male friends or comfort them. And Luke absolutely has to control his jealousy better. But knowing your partner has a particular insecurity and repeatedly behaving in ways that reinforce it without properly addressing the underlying problem isn’t great relationship behaviour either.
The more i think about itSo you see your gf of 6 years with her roomate and close friend hugging and crying and…
I actually agree that in THIS particular scene, Luke jumping straight to jealousy was unfair. Seeing two close friends hugging and crying shouldn’t automatically mean cheating, and ideally his first thought should’ve been “what happened?”
But I also think people keep treating Luke’s insecurity like it appeared out of nowhere.
For years, he has felt like he occupies a very limited part of Tao’s life. For a long time their relationship stayed secret, she kept large parts of her personal life separate from him, and he often felt more like a weekend boyfriend than someone fully included in her world. So yes, by this point he is insecure about where he stands with her.
That insecurity is still HIS responsibility to manage, but please don’t say Tao has absolutely nothing to do with the emotional environment that created it. Relationship security is built by both people.
And the “they’ve known each other for six years” argument goes both ways. Luke should know Tao well enough not to immediately assume the worst, but Tao also knows Luke well enough to understand what repeatedly makes him feel excluded or unimportant.
So yes, Luke was wrong in this scene. But reducing everything to “he doesn’t trust his girlfriend after six years” ignores six years of unresolved insecurity and poor communication from BOTH sides.
You said the quiet part out loud 😂Tbh I was hesitant to put it that bluntly.But that’s also why I don’t…
Exactly. I'm thinking the same. They will never even make her acknowledge the flaws she has. Only Luke will be the one made to win her back Lol. Cdrama never fails to make the ML a simp 😂
I said this before and I’ll say it again: this could’ve been a vertical drama with a premium budget and 24 episodes. Lol 😭
Same toxic-romance template:
ML starts off as a jerk → full-on physical intimacy → slowly falls hard for FL → FL mostly goes along with it → ML does/says something idiotic → FL misunderstands him / trust collapses → FL disappears without a trace → only blame ML → years pass → ML is still stuck on her → they cross paths again → ML enters full on simp mode while FL acts cold → chase/chase/chase → reconciliation → happy ending.
The only classic vertical-drama ingredient missing is that when she disappears, she isn’t secretly pregnant with his child. 😂
What did Flora give him except sex in this relationship?
You said the quiet part out loud 😂Tbh I was hesitant to put it that bluntly.
But that’s also why I don’t understand people acting shocked that Luke struggles to trust the relationship. Beyond the physical side, Flora rarely makes him feel like a real priority. He’s often the last to know what’s happening in her life, she keeps important things separate from him, and most explanations come only after something blows up.
And it feels like a pattern with her. Even with her ex, she later admits she blamed him for not coming to Beijing while she was focused on moving ahead with her own career. With Luke, we keep seeing the same tendency to expect the other person to understand what she wants without really communicating or making space for them.
Luke has plenty of flaws, no question. But trust and security don’t come from one person constantly proving themselves while the other keeps them at arm’s length.
Only 4 episodes left, How on earth are they going to wrap up everything without rushing it completely? I'm so…
This will be the classic vertical drama setting. FL disappears without a trace → years pass → ML is still stuck on her → they cross paths again → ML enters full on simp mode while FL acts cold → chase/chase/chase → reconciliation → happy ending.
At this point, all I want is a convincing ending where BOTH of them acknowledge their flaws and how they contributed to the relationship falling apart.
Lu Nian absolutely has things he needs to reflect on and change, and I’m fine with him apologising and making an effort. But I really hope the drama doesn’t dump all the blame onto him, put Tao on some morally superior pedestal, and turn the reunion into yet another “ML suffers, chases and proves himself endlessly while the FL simply decides whether he is worthy” arc.
That would feel especially weak after spending so much time showing that both of them have serious communication issues, insecurities and unhealthy patterns.
A satisfying reconciliation should be mutual. I want to see Lu Nian recognise where he hurt Tao, but I also want Tao to recognise where she shut him out, misunderstood him, failed to communicate and hurt him too.
If only one person has to change, apologise and fight for the relationship, then it isn’t really growth. It’s just assigning all the guilt to one side.
I wouldnt trust Luke's cynical 'look at me arent I a good househusband?' turn at all.Still refusing to talk about…
I don’t think Luke needs to stop “being himself” for his growth to count.
His sarcasm, cynicism and sharp tongue are part of his personality. The question is whether he learns not to use those traits to hurt Tao, whether he communicates better, and whether he actually makes space for her in his life. From what we’ve seen, he is trying to do that.
And I’m not sure “he should find out what Tao needs” is entirely fair either. He can’t mind-read. If Tao needs reassurance, openness, marriage, a different balance in Beijing, etc., she also has to communicate those things clearly instead of expecting him to figure them out through conflict.
The househusband stuff isn’t meaningful because he can cook or clean. It’s meaningful because someone who used to keep emotional distance is now actively trying to build a shared everyday life with her.
Luke still has plenty to work on, absolutely. But growth doesn’t mean deleting his whole personality. And the responsibility for creating trust can’t sit entirely on one person.
Someone save me from this Luke is a green flag propaganda and Shang Zitao is the red flag who doesn’t communicate…
I think this is exactly where the discussion keeps getting reduced to a false choice.
Nobody is saying Lu Nian is some perfect green flag who has nothing left to learn. He absolutely has issues with his temper, harsh words, insecurity and the way he reacts when hurt. He SHOULD change, and the drama has already spent a lot of time showing that.
But saying that doesn’t mean Shang Zitao suddenly has no responsibility in the relationship.
Communication, transparency, reassurance and making your partner feel included are not “low standards” or something only women should demand from men. Men deserve those things too.
The problem people are pointing out is not “how dare she meet her ex” or “she needs his permission before doing anything.” It’s the repeated pattern of Lu Nian finding out important things after the fact, her avoiding difficult conversations, expecting him to trust situations he was never given context for, and then his reaction becoming the only behaviour the story examines.
And honestly, saying their relationship only improves whenever she leaves or gets angry and HE learns to be better kind of proves the concern people have. Why should every conflict result only in Lu Nian learning a lesson?
A healthy relationship isn’t one person constantly being corrected until they become worthy of the other. Both people should be capable of saying, “I hurt you too. I handled that badly. I need to change this.”
Women should absolutely demand more in real life. So should men. Mutual accountability isn’t lowering anyone’s standards.
The Luke we see in ep. 19 can no way drive Flora away, he is what she would like him to be. Their families now…
Same thoughts. From what I read in some spoiler discussions. It seems like Luke will be blamed (and his mouth doesn't help) and she breaks up again and vanishes. Then as usual Cdrama trope ML becomes a simp for her.
I mean let’s be objective, Luan Nian is insane but Zhi Tao isn’t that innocent either! Seems like some people…
Agree 💯
And I’m not sure if anyone else noticed this, but it also feels like a recurring pattern with Tao, even going back to her relationship with her ex.
When she later says she was sorry for blaming him for not coming to Beijing, it shows that she had already done something similar before. Expecting the other person to understand what she wanted, then resenting them when they didn’t meet that expectation.
That’s what frustrates me with her and Lu Nian too. She often avoids saying what she really wants, keeps parts of her life separate from him, and then when things go wrong, the focus becomes his reaction rather than what led to it.
That’s why I don’t buy the idea that all the toxicity comes from him. Both of them contribute to it, just in very different ways.
Yeah, people would think he’s sweet for thinking about marriage BUT there’s NO way they’d be taking his…
That’s a really strange way to interpret “tell your partner.”
Nobody is saying Tao needs Lu Nian’s permission before she walks her dog, helps her friend, meets someone, or makes decisions. There’s a huge difference between "reporting to your boss for approval" and "communicating with your partner because their feelings matter to you".
If I’m meeting an ex, involved in a matchmaking event while I’m in a relationship, or in any situation that could obviously be misunderstood, giving my partner a heads-up isn’t asking permission. It’s basic consideration and trust.
And that’s the actual issue with Tao for me: it keeps happening. Lu Nian doesn’t hear these things from her naturally. He finds out later, often from somebody else, and then gets an explanation.
Ironically, if she genuinely wants him to feel like her boyfriend rather than her boss, including him in her personal life and communicating with him as a partner would probably help with exactly that.
https://mydramalist.com/761231-zao-chun-qing-lang#comment-27423648
But honestly, I think this is a recurring pattern with Tao. Even with her ex, she later admits she blamed him for not coming to Beijing while she was focused on her own career. With Luke, we keep seeing a similar pattern of expecting the other person to understand her priorities, while not always considering how her choices affect them.
What annoys me is how some people are willing to analyse every flaw Luke has, while Tao is almost treated with moral superiority.
But Tao has had multiple situations that would obviously make a partner uncomfortable: meeting her ex without telling Luke beforehand, letting that situation become physically intimate while she was drunk, being extremely close with her roommate after Luke had already expressed insecurity about where he stands, etc.
You can explain every individual incident, and this hug may genuinely have just been her comforting a grieving friend. But the bigger issue for me is the pattern.
Throughout the drama, Luke has repeatedly felt like he only occupies one small corner of Tao’s life. He wants emotional security and reassurance that he actually matters as her partner, yet he often feels like the “weekend boyfriend” while the people she lives and works with are much more integrated into her everyday life.
That doesn’t mean Tao can’t have male friends or comfort them. And Luke absolutely has to control his jealousy better. But knowing your partner has a particular insecurity and repeatedly behaving in ways that reinforce it without properly addressing the underlying problem isn’t great relationship behaviour either.
Boundaries and reassurance have to go both ways.
But I also think people keep treating Luke’s insecurity like it appeared out of nowhere.
For years, he has felt like he occupies a very limited part of Tao’s life. For a long time their relationship stayed secret, she kept large parts of her personal life separate from him, and he often felt more like a weekend boyfriend than someone fully included in her world. So yes, by this point he is insecure about where he stands with her.
That insecurity is still HIS responsibility to manage, but please don’t say Tao has absolutely nothing to do with the emotional environment that created it. Relationship security is built by both people.
And the “they’ve known each other for six years” argument goes both ways. Luke should know Tao well enough not to immediately assume the worst, but Tao also knows Luke well enough to understand what repeatedly makes him feel excluded or unimportant.
So yes, Luke was wrong in this scene. But reducing everything to “he doesn’t trust his girlfriend after six years” ignores six years of unresolved insecurity and poor communication from BOTH sides.
Cdrama never fails to make the ML a simp 😂
Same toxic-romance template:
ML starts off as a jerk → full-on physical intimacy → slowly falls hard for FL → FL mostly goes along with it → ML does/says something idiotic → FL misunderstands him / trust collapses → FL disappears without a trace → only blame ML → years pass → ML is still stuck on her → they cross paths again → ML enters full on simp mode while FL acts cold → chase/chase/chase → reconciliation → happy ending.
The only classic vertical-drama ingredient missing is that when she disappears, she isn’t secretly pregnant with his child. 😂
But that’s also why I don’t understand people acting shocked that Luke struggles to trust the relationship. Beyond the physical side, Flora rarely makes him feel like a real priority. He’s often the last to know what’s happening in her life, she keeps important things separate from him, and most explanations come only after something blows up.
And it feels like a pattern with her. Even with her ex, she later admits she blamed him for not coming to Beijing while she was focused on moving ahead with her own career. With Luke, we keep seeing the same tendency to expect the other person to understand what she wants without really communicating or making space for them.
Luke has plenty of flaws, no question. But trust and security don’t come from one person constantly proving themselves while the other keeps them at arm’s length.
FL disappears without a trace → years pass → ML is still stuck on her → they cross paths again → ML enters full on simp mode while FL acts cold → chase/chase/chase → reconciliation → happy ending.
Lu Nian absolutely has things he needs to reflect on and change, and I’m fine with him apologising and making an effort. But I really hope the drama doesn’t dump all the blame onto him, put Tao on some morally superior pedestal, and turn the reunion into yet another “ML suffers, chases and proves himself endlessly while the FL simply decides whether he is worthy” arc.
That would feel especially weak after spending so much time showing that both of them have serious communication issues, insecurities and unhealthy patterns.
A satisfying reconciliation should be mutual. I want to see Lu Nian recognise where he hurt Tao, but I also want Tao to recognise where she shut him out, misunderstood him, failed to communicate and hurt him too.
If only one person has to change, apologise and fight for the relationship, then it isn’t really growth. It’s just assigning all the guilt to one side.
His sarcasm, cynicism and sharp tongue are part of his personality. The question is whether he learns not to use those traits to hurt Tao, whether he communicates better, and whether he actually makes space for her in his life. From what we’ve seen, he is trying to do that.
And I’m not sure “he should find out what Tao needs” is entirely fair either. He can’t mind-read. If Tao needs reassurance, openness, marriage, a different balance in Beijing, etc., she also has to communicate those things clearly instead of expecting him to figure them out through conflict.
The househusband stuff isn’t meaningful because he can cook or clean. It’s meaningful because someone who used to keep emotional distance is now actively trying to build a shared everyday life with her.
Luke still has plenty to work on, absolutely. But growth doesn’t mean deleting his whole personality. And the responsibility for creating trust can’t sit entirely on one person.
Nobody is saying Lu Nian is some perfect green flag who has nothing left to learn. He absolutely has issues with his temper, harsh words, insecurity and the way he reacts when hurt. He SHOULD change, and the drama has already spent a lot of time showing that.
But saying that doesn’t mean Shang Zitao suddenly has no responsibility in the relationship.
Communication, transparency, reassurance and making your partner feel included are not “low standards” or something only women should demand from men. Men deserve those things too.
The problem people are pointing out is not “how dare she meet her ex” or “she needs his permission before doing anything.” It’s the repeated pattern of Lu Nian finding out important things after the fact, her avoiding difficult conversations, expecting him to trust situations he was never given context for, and then his reaction becoming the only behaviour the story examines.
And honestly, saying their relationship only improves whenever she leaves or gets angry and HE learns to be better kind of proves the concern people have. Why should every conflict result only in Lu Nian learning a lesson?
A healthy relationship isn’t one person constantly being corrected until they become worthy of the other. Both people should be capable of saying, “I hurt you too. I handled that badly. I need to change this.”
Women should absolutely demand more in real life. So should men. Mutual accountability isn’t lowering anyone’s standards.
And I’m not sure if anyone else noticed this, but it also feels like a recurring pattern with Tao, even going back to her relationship with her ex.
When she later says she was sorry for blaming him for not coming to Beijing, it shows that she had already done something similar before. Expecting the other person to understand what she wanted, then resenting them when they didn’t meet that expectation.
That’s what frustrates me with her and Lu Nian too. She often avoids saying what she really wants, keeps parts of her life separate from him, and then when things go wrong, the focus becomes his reaction rather than what led to it.
That’s why I don’t buy the idea that all the toxicity comes from him. Both of them contribute to it, just in very different ways.
Nobody is saying Tao needs Lu Nian’s permission before she walks her dog, helps her friend, meets someone, or makes decisions. There’s a huge difference between "reporting to your boss for approval" and "communicating with your partner because their feelings matter to you".
If I’m meeting an ex, involved in a matchmaking event while I’m in a relationship, or in any situation that could obviously be misunderstood, giving my partner a heads-up isn’t asking permission. It’s basic consideration and trust.
And that’s the actual issue with Tao for me: it keeps happening. Lu Nian doesn’t hear these things from her naturally. He finds out later, often from somebody else, and then gets an explanation.
Ironically, if she genuinely wants him to feel like her boyfriend rather than her boss, including him in her personal life and communicating with him as a partner would probably help with exactly that.