The lesson was not really the lesson

Frankly, the "Life Lessons" tag seems rather ironic given the distance between what the lesson the drama thinks it is imparting, and the lesson it is actually imparting.

The actual lesson is that ML's issue was not choosing almost anyone else besides FL as a spouse. More concretely, he might want to notice how basically everyone, from the less helpful dads, to the philandering Yoon-ki, to his wife's lover, are not cheated on by their spouses (not even Yoon-ki, whose wife simply dumps him after a long time of putting up with his hogwash, while his wife's lover was, insultingly, taken back essentially immediately).

The take away is clearly that he should have chosen someone worthy of his loyalty and trust, which FL, being disloyal and having broken his trust, is clearly not.

We are instead regaled with utter hogwash, such as the incredibly insulting notion of an Orwellian thought crime, where having fantasies and feeling attraction, which are perfectly normal, are compared to having a full blown affair, which is a complete and deliberate violation of your partner's trust. One of these things is not like the other, unless one is insane.

ML's big fault was not being not even a mind reader, and actually trusting his wife when he asked her if she was okay. He was willing to help, so it's clear that he would have not been against splitting tasks if she felt overwhelmed. Instead, was supposed to know something she didn't realise herself (so, actually, not even a "mind" reader, but a "future mind" reader), and lied about when she did, putting up a facade as if everything was just peachy. This is not a reasonable way for "communication" to happen in a couple: he might just happen to notice something she herself didn't notice, but he might also not (and it doesn't mean that he wouldn't care), and it's simply unreasonable to have that as an expectation, rather than choosing not to be completely uncommunicative or outright lie about it. That's not a strategy for successful communication. Successful communication involves people actually 1) talking to the other person, and 2) not lying to them. Her lover then found her when she had just realised her issue (because of the mention of the book thing), and had her guard down, and it was her decision to be completely uncommunicative with her husband, when she had so many other options, from asking for her husband's, family's or friend's help, to just dropping some commitments, such as pandering to the other moms.

What is certainly not going to help is having an affair with your client. That wouldn't magically clear up your scheduler, though for some reason she seems to suddenly find the time to buy sexy lingerie, text her lover, and carry on a full blown affair... time dilation? Not sure what universe has such physics. Probably one where the supposed "message" of the drama makes sense.

While victim blaming and gaslighting the victim of the betrayal is obviously wrong, I do feel that there is also an attitude of self serving cynicism and equivocation, where "realism" in used as code word for "people just being disloyal and untrustworthy" and "nuance" is used for "I don't really think a toxic manipulator willing to betray and deceive their loyal long term partner indefinitely without any guilt is really all that serious/not so bad". Of course, such attitudes tend to evaporate when such people, or those they care about, are on the receiving end (and it's a very good thing that they do evaporate). But really, there is noting "nuanced" about this: they had someone that is loyal, and treated them with no loyalty, honesty and respect. This betrayal is clearly not something they would have liked to be on the receiving end of. So, it's just basic golden rule level stuff. No need for a PhD in ethics. This was clearly wrong, and easily avoidable.

My Mister perfectly explained the difference between unhappiness, divorce and an affair. These are distinct. Unhappiness might lead to a divorce, but it's a non sequitur that it should make one inclined to treat their loyal spouse with no loyalty, honesty and respect: the latter is just not a necessary implication of the former. More generally, it’s as if someone could easily get a job, and tried to use "putting food on the table" as a reason to rob a bank. Here, that's not even the situation. Yoon-ki's actions were connected to his wishes: he wanted to sleep with other women, and he did. But FL's actions in no way addressed overscheduling, so her affair was cruel, but also needless and easily avoidable: she could have dropped some commitments or talked to her husband. In the "food on the table" example, it's more as if she started running backwards on the street: no connection between action and solving the problem.

Franly, while Yoon-ki was repulsive, both him and FL were ready to betray and deceive their spouses indefinitely for self serving reasons, without any guilt. Not that there are non self serving reasons to have an affair, it's a matter of wheter the one being betrayed and deceived deserves it... the cheating wife whose husband had a kid out of wedlock was someone I 100% supported, in that respect: he was not loyal to her, so he had no right to expect her to be loyal to him, in fact it would have been absurd for her to hold up her hend of a deal he was willing to break. However, at least Yoon-ki's naked shamelessness was less hypocritical than FL and her lover's dignified facade: if they were going to stab him in the back and deceive him forever, at least don't try to act nice and pretend you care: if you ever did, you clearly didn't care enough to avoid betraying and deceiving him (or sleeping with FL, in the lover's case), anyway.

Nothing more irritating than FL's lover politely greeting ML when he would have been sleeping with his wife had he not been in that elevator, or FL buying ML a birthday gift... am I supposed to be impressed? When you were willing to betray and deceive him forever without a thought for him and the kid? Are you kidding? That's like someone stealing all your money and leaving you an Amazon gift card: it's just adding insult to injury. The other thing was the aforementioned fact that at least in Yoon-ki's case there was a clear connection between his goal and his affair: he wanted to sleep with other women, and he did. In FL's case, this was not the case, and not only were her actions cruel, but they were utterly needless, and easily avoidable, so the "overscheduling" thing made the affair all the more insulting for its sheer futility. The affair didn't address that problem at all, if anything it should have made it worse. But this is something that was touched on above, so I won't repeat that argument.

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