My Wife’s Having an Affair This Week (2016)

Impressed by ML's actor

I discovered ML's actors very recently, currently going through his whole filmography... it's pretty impressive to see how he changed through the years compared to his earlier roles, even physically. He was always very mature and developed in terms of acting. Recently I started seeing him in Dr. Brain and it's pretty impressive to see the range of his acting. I must say that overall he didn't seem to have a "type" of role, like Hugh Grant that is, I think, generally associated with romantic comedy. This means that not every one of his work might be everyone's cup of tea, so if you are watching a drama simply because he is the lead in it, your mileage might vary.

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I have to say that I really must commend the actors for the way they managed to showcase the transformation of their characters with the relatively short time scale of 12 episodes. It's not really something to be underestimated: I have watched good shows such as Once Again who have what I would consider stunning character development, but they had much more time to work with. Arguably they also had a larger cast of characters, so that also accounts for some of it. But still, it's not as if this drama had few of them: at least a couple of story lines besides the main one were pretty significant in terms of character development and plot. For shorter dramas, such as Somebody (which I loved despite it being panned in reviews), I feel it's more about the atmosphere. I do think that this translated, in this fic, in some characters that I wished were explored more, or some relationships towards the end that I wish had more "air time", and maybe were introduced earlier. But all in all, it was a challenging task to fit into 12 episodes.

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If we are being honest, the real lesson is: "be careful who you trust"

Frankly, the "Life lessons" tag seems rather ironic given the distance between what the lesson the drama thinks it is imparting, and the lesson that it is actually imparting.

The actual lesson is that ML's issue was not choosing almost anyone else besides FL as a spouse. More concretely, he might want to notice how basically everyone, from the less helpful other dads, to the philandering Yoon-ki to his wife's lover, are not cheated on by their spouses (not even Yoon-ki, whose wife simply dumps him after a long time of putting up with his atrocious behaviour, while his wife's lover was, insultingly, taken back essentially immediately).

The take away is clearly that he should have chosen someone worthy of his loyalty and trust, which FL, being disloyal and having broken his trust, is clearly not.

We are instead regaled with, well, nonsense, such as the incredibly insulting notion of an Orwellian thought crime, where having fantasies and feeling attraction, which are perfectly normal, are compared to have a full blown affair, which is a complete and deliberate violation of your partner's trust. One of these things is, self evidently, not like the other.

ML's big fault was not being a mind reader and actually trusting his wife when he asked her if she was okay. He was willing to help, so it's clear that he would have not been against splitting tasks if she felt overwhelmed. He didn't realise something that she didn't realise herself, and then explicitly lied to him about, putting up a facade of everything being just peachy. Her lover found her when she had just realised it and had her guard down, and it was her decision to be completely uncommunicative with her husband, when she had so many other options, from paying for stuff instead of cooking herself, to ask for her husband's, family's or friends' help, to just reconsidering some commitments, such as the pandering stuff in the moms group.

What is certainly not going to help is having an affair with your client. That would not magically open up your schedule, though for some reason she, again, seems to find the time to plan their rendezvouses and book the places they want to sleep at, and buy sexy lingerie. Time dilation? Not sure what universe has such physics. Probably one where the supposed "message" makes any sense.

As an aside, I do find the differential treatment with respect to Yoon-ki rather laughable and hypocritical. Let's be clear: both Yoon-ki and FL were liars and cheaters that were willing to betray and deceive their loyal spouses forever for self serving reasons, without any guilt. FL herself admitted that she would have continued to deceive ML indefinitely had he not caught her red handed, with no consideration for either him or the kid during the affair.

To be perfectly honest, I actually do find Yoon-ki's blatant shamelessness less hypocritical than FL and her lover's calm, polite, apathetic facade of decency. I mean, nothing more irritating than FL's lover politely greeting/introducing himself to ML after the latter had just caught him red handed, as if everyone in the room didn't know perfectly well that had ML not been in that elevator, he would be sleeping with his wife in that hotel room. Equally irritating was the birthday gift: is one supposed to be impressed by that? When she was willing to lie to his face for months, and continue doing so forever? I mean, this is like someone stealing all your money and leaving behind an online shop coupon: adding insult to injury.

The other thing with Yoon-ki was the fact that at least his goals were aligned with his actions: he wanted to sleep with other women, and he did. By contrast, FL's betrayal was not only cruel, but also utterly needless and easily avoidable. It in no way addressed the issue of her overscheduling, as explained above, and she could have very easily just stopped being completely uncommunicative and lying to her husband. The sheer futility is, again, something that adds insult to injury.

To be clear, I do find Yoon-ki absolutely repulsive. But it's a bit like the situation with FL's lover's wife: she could see perfectly through FL, but at the same time apparently didn't realise that her husband was exactly the same kind of person: a liar and a cheater that would have been willing to betray and deceive their loyal spouse forever, and to risk jeopardizing her child's happiness, over a whim.

I also thought that there was a fundamental muddying of the waters where two very different matters are conflated together: unhappiness and betrayal. Obviously, being unhappy does not automatically imply that one would be ready to treat their partner with no loyalty, honesty and respect. To pretend that the two are equivalent is mere equivocation and evasion, and, really, self serving cynicism. So the question shouldn't have been "why was she unhappy", but "why, when push came to shove, she did not care enough not to treat her spouse with any loyalty, honesty and respect". In the case of the cheating wife mentioned in the drama, whose husband had previously a kid out of wedlock behind her back, the answer was pretty obvious: the guy had betrayed her, so she had no reason to show him any loyalty and honesty in return, nor was he owed any. I was 100% behind her, in that regard. This was not the situation with either ML or FL's lover's wife.

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A poignant story of love and betrayal

This was an excellent series. The focus was not so much on the details of the affair, but rather on the damage that an affair causes, to more than just the couple. There was so much raw emotion and angst portrayed. Lee Sun Kyun played his part flawlessly. I almost didn't watch this due to some negative reviews. I have, sadly, come to realize that there are those who rate a series on their personal feelings about the subject matter, rather than the value of the actual production. This drama was done beautifully and I know that it will stick with me for some time to come.

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Good performance, your enjoyment might vary depending on your views on the subject matter

The actors' performance was very good, particularly ML's actor who is always exceptional. The enjoyment of the story might vary about your views on the subject matter, thought. I do think that there is a bit of what I would call "self serving cynicism" in terms of the way some people try to equivocate/evade about affairs, when it really comes down to basic golden rule stuff. Would FL like to be betrayed and deceived like she did to ML? Obviously not. Would Yoon-ki? We know the answer, and it is "no". Would she like to be in the position of her lover's wife, deceived forever and not given a chance to make an informed decision about her own relationship? Again, I would bet "no". No PhD in Ethics required, it's something that anyone without a broken moral compass or completely inverted set of priorities should be able to agree on: basically, one shouldn't betray others if they don't want to be treated the same way, and if they do, they shouldn't act surprised if those people don't feel any inclination to be loyal to them in return. To deceive and betray someone that is loyal to you and didn't deserve it, and to be ready to do so indefinitely without any guilt, is pretty toxic, manipulative behavior (notice the caveat "didn't deserve it", because I did feel sympathy for the cheating wife whose husband had previously had a kid out of wedlock behind her back, see more below... but in general, I don't have an issue with "manipulating the manipulator": loyalty is a two way street, if you are disloyal you are not owed any loyalty... I wouldn't have been against Yoon-ki's wife giving him a taste of his own medicine, for example, and we know he would have objected to that, as he explicitly told us in the show, talking about his "dream").

The good news is that it would have been perfectly reasonable to expect FL to simply stop being uncommunicative and actually talk about her problems with her husband, and that most people would have done that. The choice to have a lover a non sequitur in that regard: it didn't in any way help with her schedule or address her problems, in fact if anything it should have made her schedule situation worse, though very strangely she seemed to suddenly have enough time to carry on a full blown affair.

To me, My Mister had a much more realistic and truthful approach to this, separating the unhappiness, divorce and affair pieces, because the reasons for one's unhappiness cannot be used as the reasons for the affair: the question of happiness is a distinct and different matter from the affair. One might well feel unhappy, and maybe even want to get a divorce, but that does not imply that they would feel inclined to actually treat their partner with no loyalty, honesty and respect: that's simply a non sequitur, the second does not simply automatically follow from the first, in fact it shouldn't, and there is no reason it should, if your partner never did anything to deserve such treatment. So the question becomes not "why you feel unhappy", but "why when push came to shove you chose to actually do this to someone that didn't deserve it", and in FL's case here, I would add "to do it without guilt". FL admitted that she didn't feel any guilt at the idea of betraying and deceiving him indefinitely while she had the affair, and that him and the kid were not even a consideration during the affair. That's not exactly what I would call "expected behavior", even for someone that is unhappy.

I do think that the way this drama dealt with the topic was not particularly realistic. I mean, her mother in law's reaction? The way characters that were cheated on excused away/trivialized/diminished cheating and didn't consider loyalty, honesty and respect cornerstones of relationships? FL's husband, mother in law, husband's friends, even most netizens, engaging in fawning hagiography of FL given how she turned out to be, factually speaking, unworthy of ML's loyalty and trust, by being disloyal and breaking his trust (the netizens part being particularly unrealistic, given that netizens in reality argue even about something as uncontroversial as the Moon landing). The very "tame" flashback scenes, appearing only as a plot device and then forgotten when they didn't suit the plot, with ML suddenly "healing" from his trauma, as if people could decide to heal from trauma or be happy on command? Compare this with the depiction in My Mister, the much more realistic images with him thinking about his wife with the other man, etc. And My Mister also had a much more nuanced and mature approach to cheating, as explained above, while this drama's arguments tended to heavily equivocate and evade (with some double standards, I have to say, and other double standards being used as a non sequitur: if women don't hold men accountable, for example, that's an issue that is resolved by holding men accountable, not by not holding anyone accountable, and in any case this is not some sick societal score setting exercise, ML had never slept with anyone behind FL's back).

In fact, I would say that, while she, like Yoon-ki, was willing do betray and deceive her spouse for entirely self serving reasons (well, it's not as if there are non self serving reasons for an affair), to keep doing this indefinitely, without a shred of guilt or any thought about her partner (and kid, in this case), as she herself admitted in the end, at least Yoon-ki had a reason that was connected to his actions: he wanted to have sex with other women, and he did. FL's betrayal, by contrast, was not only cruel, but also needless and entirely and easily preventable: she could have easily just reconsidered her priorities, schedule and commitments, and stopped being uncommunicative or outright lying to her spouse, who for his part was already helping out, and would have been more than willing to do more. They also had family and friends they could ask to help.

I feel that in general it is not particularly helpful to frame this in terms of the cheater's perspective or happiness, the question should really have been whether the people that were cheated on deserved such treatment. Imho they didn't, because they never did anything similar to their partners. There are those who did: for example, the cheating woman that they mentioned in the show, whose husband had a kid out of wedlock behind her back. I was 100% supporting of her sleeping with another person behind her husband's back, because if he didn't abide by their promise, she had no reason to hold up her end of the agreement. So in that way I don't consider cheating a "black and white issue", for example I would have been completely in favor of FL's lover's wife divorcing him and having an affair on her way out (maybe with ML, as in the episode of At The Moment with a similar premise). Actually, I don't even know if I would call it "cheating" if it was done against someone that had cheated on you and had therefore shown themselves to be unworthy of your loyalty: turnabout is fair play, or, to paraphrase Ji An's words in My Mister, "don't make me laugh, you have done worse", so you have no right to complain. Though I guess that it's a matter of definition, or semantics, the point being that I do think of the act in such a situation as having entire different moral implications. Besides that, though, lying and cheating "are" a rather black and white situation: nobody likes it if is done to them, they are obviously wrong, it's not exactly a situation where you need the nuanced take of a PhD in Ethics, it's basic golden rule stuff. Don't do to other people what you wouldn't want be done to them.

I think that there was more moral clarity in the small dialogue Astrid had at the end of the movie Crazy, Rich Asians than in all this drama, to be perfectly honest. It felt kind of like the emotional abuse equivalent of seeing a Stockholm Syndrome or battered housewife going back to the criminal/wife beating drunk that mistreated them. It was exemplified, for me, in ML's female colleague thinking that Yoon-ki's wife was cool, while she had walked away from her marriage after her husband's affair. But the truth was that she did exactly the right thing: basic loyalty, honesty and respect shouldn't be something she has to fight to have, they are the basis of a relationship and if you are going to be loyal and honest, you have every right to expect your partner to treat you with the same loyalty and honesty in return. Yoon-ki's wife was miserable, and thankfully ended up dumping him. FL's lover's wife was another example of this tendency of the drama: she was very good in seeing through FL, but she couldn't see that her own husband was the same kind of person as FL: a toxic manipulator willing to betray and deceive a loyal spouse indefinitely, and to risk jeopardizing his children's happiness over a whim, by sleeping with a married woman with a kid.

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I am a fan of the actor interpreting the main lead. He gave a solid performance in this one, though if you were expecting a more realistic portrayal such as he gave in My Mister, you would have to re-set your expectations: the writing in this one is different, the subject is treated in a more comedic fashion.

I must say that imho it was not always done in the most tasteful manner, if you were trying to convey a point about something dramatic, making the wounded lead the butt of a joke in the next moment does tend to detract from the dramatic tension... it would be okay in a different drama, where the focus was not so much on the feelings and inner world of the protagonist, but on other aspects, such as in the Chinese drama Divorce Lawyers' initial scene... but you cannot really go from depicting emotional pain to making the sufferer the butt of a joke without at least some of the pathos being lost in the process.

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Garbage, you will be upset after watching this if you have any morals.

The ML always getting cheated on and forgives the wife. Here and in My Mister. Regardless of the reason, you cannot go back after the person you care about most is cheating and lying. Divorce is ok, living a lie isn't. It's crazy how they portray the ML as the bad guy. If you aren't satisfied in marriage and cannot have a conversation with your partner why are you married? If someone can look their partner and kids in the eye everyday while cheating; it says a whole lot more about that person, then someone who forgets their wedding anniversary. It's ok to move on and like someone else, but lying is the problem.

This story is incredibly unrealistic. No man with any self respect would just forgive infidelity like that and actually blame himself for his wife cheating. The wife in this story also never did anything to deserve redemption and everyone just swept her cheating under the rug. Even her in-laws and everyone forgave her for no reason at all. Everyone seemed to understand the FL, but no one except for his guy friends took time to understand the ML.

The ML is supposed to be a bad guy for neglecting his wife, but he forgave his wife after everything she did and even blamed himself. Seems like all the FL had to do was talk to him...but nope she cheated with the intention of running away with her lover; until the lover dumped her like yesterday's garbage and only then did she feel regret.

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No excuses for an affair

Rating this higher not because of the overall quality of the drama, but how it made me feel. Except last few mins and the over the top affair couple arc, the drama feels way too realistic wrt the introspection part.

I still feel they did not try to justify the affair or make the husband the reason for such behaviour but made us understand why things ended up they the way they did. If only they let wife feel guilty the way husband expected in the beginning after she came down to the ground from the dream and avoided immediate happy ending, it would have been even better. I cannot digest the fact that wife did not get punished enough for her actions, hopefully her her gets to know about it in the future.

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I have avoided the reviews it has, because I didn’t wanna be swayed by them. If you are young you should watch and learn from it, if you are the characters’ age…well, never to late to still learn from it. It has a bit of a “men vs women” to it. So I often found myself in a tornado of mixed feelings especially because I was trying very hard to stay objective. Often failed miserably.
Without giving away much this is about a long time married guy that accidentally finds out his wife is about to cheat on him. As one can only imagine, it leads to sometimes comical situations as well as uncomfortable situations that most of the world would hope to avoid during their life time. Truth is life is not that simple and things we think it just can’t happen to us, they do. I used to think that and now instead of being married with 3 kids, I'm divorced with one kid. :) Don't pity me, it was for the best of everyone, and it didn't involve cheating on either side.
I love the main cast but I must say what really made this special was the precious and colorful support cast. BoA was amazing. It's my first time seeing her act. I saw her on "Ask us anything" and I enjoyed her humor a lot.
There are so many things I want to say about each character but it would only show my perception on them. But please allow me to mention the "jerk" of the series played by Kim Hee Won and I can’t imagine it being played by anyone else. He did such a great job that there was not one ep in which I didn't wanna slap him. Also I'll mention the "creepy spy" Eun Min Ji, played by none other than the adorable Lee Do Yeon that has embraced her little role impeccably.
I hope you enjoy this series without too much prejudice and you learn to sympathize with the main cast. Life is not easy.

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A very underrated drama indeed. This type of drama brings a different perspective on the viewers eyes since the drama shows that there are a lot of women right now who are into affairs at first. A very unique or not that popular type of genre when it comes on korean drama. Lot of dramas which has cheating tags stereotypes man who are always involve on affairs but this was totally different. When it comes to the cast who portraits the characters, it is somehow hard to pull off a very tragic moment but they did it really good. The plot and the elements of the drama was also good especially involving social media and also producing a reality show on catching cheating partners on TV which makes the drama looks so interesting. I was expecting a bittersweet type of ending for this drama especially for the VERY MAIN CHARACTERS. I think you guys already know what is a bittersweet ending looks right like? Side characters has a good ending as well! overall 10/10 for me since it was underrated and should be given by the other viewers a chance to watch it since this drama is totally a sleeper.

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I watched this shortly after finishing Love Affairs in the Afternoon (kr version), so it was definitely interesting to compare and contrast the two. Ultimately, I liked this drama better, but I do also acknowledge that the circumstances of the couples portrayed in their respective dramas are also quite different.

The good: I loved the cast! I've never seen BoA in an acting role before so I had reservations about her ability, but like the rest of the cast, she assumed her character very naturally and convincingly. I adored Lee Sangyeob and his character (which was TOTALLY different from LAITA, definitely threw me off) and I loved Lee Sunkyun in My Mister and Diary of a Prosecutor. Also, BABY KIM KANG HOON IS SO CUTE :( In terms of the story, I liked that it was able to show the many reasons why people have affairs and/or get divorced from both a logical and emotional perspective. It delved into the complexities of a relationship and the need for communication and understanding to sustain it. There was a good balance between serious notes and comedic relief, with plenty of Lee Sunkyun's token vacant, I-am-dissociating-from-this-world expression to match. Overall, it was pretty heart-warming and surprisingly thoughtful.

The meh: The plot dragged its feet quite a bit in the first half. I think the story could've easily done without one or two episodes, especially the majority of the last episode. I wish they had shown Mom more, even if it was an intended effort to focus on the husband instead.

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I appreciate drama's like this so much. More complex and true to real life and with lots of nuances. Infidelity is something that many people have a very harsh, black and white view of. So I loved how this drama delved deep into the complexities of a longterm monogamous relationship, how two people can live together yet not really SEE and FEEL each other, how intentions going into a relationship easily get forgotten in everyday life, how a stress can impact even a good relationship very negatively... Lee Sunkyun is carrying this drama so well. There is such an honesty to his performance. And with an enjoyable cast this really made for a great viewing experience. I also loved that they kept it to 12 solid episodes and didn't drag it out to 16.

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