I'm a Pedonoona, but it's okay!

Disclaimer: This article is all about the personal thought of a self-proclaimed pedonoona. Hallyuholicmom is a 30-ish mom who devotes her time (almost) equally on her family, work and fangirling. Any differences in opinion (or world view for that matter) are always welcomed.

By today’s standard of fangirling, I might be considered a late-bloomer. I started my 3-hour sleep at night, lurking around sites, and daydreaming over Jerry Yan or Gong Yoo when I was in my early 20s. But that was more than a decade ago when the Taiwanese dramas or the Korean wave had just recently arrived at our shores. It was the old days--a time when I watched the entire 2 seasons and special of Meteor Garden or Jewel in the Palace by literally carrying home 2 bags full of CDs. Internet access to dramas in my country was not popular at that time, so we relied mostly on CDs.

I started my drama addiction with Taiwanese dramas thanks to F4 and Meteor Garden. They were phenomenal! I also tried some Hindi movies and Jdorama, but ultimately, I fell in love with kdrama. I guess most of us were not immune to the virus that is hallyu. Unknowingly, I was sucked-in by it that everything I do or think now is related to anything Korean--from drama or films, to fashion and cuisine, or the whole South Korean culture itself!

I know. Almost all of us can relate to my story, because I’ve read a few blogs with stories and *horrors* of drama addicts (…err fans), their addiction levels and such. I was like a Seong-Siwon-screaming-her-heart-out-for-Tony-oppa kind of a fan girl. I even have custom-made pillows with Gong Yoo’s face printed on them. Not to mention my folders and folders of stalker files saved on my computer.

Back then, my peers and family found it to be kinda normal. They thought it was just a girl thing and that it would eventually pass. Today, more than a decade later, and having a family of my own now (omo! an ahjumma?), boy, they were all wrong! I was a Siwon-like fan girl before and a Siwon-like fangirl still, and more. (Believe me I have Bigbang posters in our room that even my daughter can recite all of their names!) My ovaries do not explode over Korean actors anymore but idols as well! And they are getting younger and younger by the minute. (The types of BTOB, ya know?)

So it dawned on me. Have I become a “pedonoona”, as we in dramaland or hallyu have coined it?

If some of you are not quite familiar with the term, first, here’s the definition from urban dictionary.

          Pedonoona:
                    A combination of the word pedophile and noona (a Korean word referring to an older girl), a
                    pedonoona is an older woman or girl who is interested in a young male idol in an inappropriate
                    and sexual way.

I don’t know if you’ll agree with me or not, but I prefer to take out the word “inappropriate” in this definition. (*Calling all the pedonoonas out there! Please help me out and rally for our interests!*) I am swooning, alright, but in an appropriate and (well) in a sorta sexual way. I can correlate this monumental (errr…) part of my life to my kpop addiction. Like most of us here, I am kdrama fan first and eventually a kpoper now thanks to OSTs and the idols-turned-actors phenomenon.

Have you ever heard this statement? I've encountered this maybe once or twice in a Kdrama and even on variety shows,

Or I might say, this I heard from the goddess herself, Sandara Park. (Dara-ya you are one pedonoona! LOL) My thoughts are exactly the same as this. With exemptions of Gong Yoo or Hyun Bin, I spazz more on younger actors or idols. I personally prefer the flower boy type. I literally squeal to those almost non-existent muscles, fully made-up, cross-dresser man-boys in kdrama and kpop. And I mean, I do not see them with dongsaeng kind of fondness (you know what I mean, right?).

Honestly, one of the major factors for me choosing a drama are those young eye candies. I endured some of the dramas I’ve watched in the past even though the plot or direction or their acting was killing me. Take Heartstrings (Jung Yong Hwa!), Me Too Flower (because it’s Yoon Shi Yoon, period) and Personal Taste (no one can resist the Lee Min HOT!) as examples. I am blunt in saying that unlike some of the drama fans, I am one of those non-techies (read: one who doesn’t care much for drama technicalities). I seldom deconstruct a drama/movie only when I feel like it.

To elaborate my point, here are some random instances of my pedonoonaness.

Instance #1
When my fellow pedonoona co-worker and I saw a shirtless scene of Joong Ki from Nice Guy, our office’s floor almost collapsed from us jumping and giggling (and oogling)!


Instance #2
My heart melted when Jung Ilhoon (a member of BTOB) sang his version of the 'gwiyomi' song. I can’t even count how many times I’ve watched this--- cuteness overload! As a proud pedonoona, I showed this video to my co-workers. And what did I get? Blank faces -_-


Instance #3
My jaw dropped on Yoo Seung Hoo’s hotness  as the Jade Emperor in Arang. Trust me, in every episode, the scenes with the Jade Emperor was the one I was looking forward to the most. Can I be that goat? Or the flower, maybe?



Instance #4
From the moment I set my eyes on Yoon Shi Yoon in King of Baking, I said to myself, this one is my ultimate flower boy (so far)! Oh those eyes, pretty please! Ahjumma is melting!


Instance #5
Oh how I love these men-boys to death...
It was around October 2012 when my fellow pedonoona friend and I watched Bigbangs’s Alive Galaxy Tour concert. We bought tickets one month prior to the concert, and felt a once in a lifetime kind of experience. As we arrived to the venue, we were greeted by a flock of VIPs--most of them in their teen years! We only saw a handful of “older” women, and some of them were chaperoning minors. My friend and I whispered to each other, “Omo! We are indeed pedonoonas. How do we handle this situation with pride?” So, we acted with indifference.

Inside the concert venue, some of the younger VIPs looked at us with somewhat awe, but then they were instantly friendly when we said that we were also VIPs. We chatted on some know-hows about the boys (I know all their stories and I can even phonetically sing almost all of their songs!). The great challenge was after the concert had ended. What did we do? We pretended that we hadn’t gone to the concert, and were just fetching our nieces who watched the concert. Being a pedonoona sometimes makes you silly… but happy.

I am relatively a newbie on kpop fangirling. It started in late 2011, around the same time I re-ignited my kdrama life from an almost 2 year hiatus. A random search for OSTs on youtube led me to discover kpop idols and groups. Before, I honestly didn’t care about the singers or idols, and idol groups who sang my favorite drama OSTs. The only groups/idols or artists I know before were Super Junior, SNSD, Wonder Girls, Se7en and Rain. But these men-boys have opened the door to a new me--the pedonoona me.

This article is my attempt to create a positive view on pedonoonas. I’ve read some negative connotations about people with pedonoona tendencies--social stigma that is (I just wanted to sound serious… heee), so I thought I might as well make a coming-out article to inspire fellow pedonoonas out there. I know where these reactions (or denials of those with pedonoona tendencies) come from. The term pedophilia, where "pedo-" was derived, is a psychiatric disorder--and a serious one at that. But as a language is a social construct, we--the users within this language-game (that is hallyu)--can make this a positive term, right? After all, language evolves constantly with culture as its primary vehicle.

There is not much literature or articles available about being a pedonoona. Oh well, it is a relatively new word and only us in kdramaland or hallyu can relate to. What is only apparent is this:

                                        1. You are a noona.
                                        2. You are crazy over younger guys (i.e. actors or idols)

All the other manifestations of pedonoonaness--it’s gravity and extent--will be depending on us pedonoonas. But for me, I put a limit to the age of idols or actors I spazz on… errr oogle on. As long as they are not minors then I don’t feel guilty about being a real pedo.

I’m a proud pedonoona. For one, it gave my somewhat-monotonous life a twist. Four years ago, I took a leave from dramaland when I had my family. My life only revolves around work and family. But rediscovering Kdramaland and embracing the kpop culture makes a big difference in my life. As I went crazy over younger actors and idols, I also think and feel younger. In a course of a few months of fangirling, my personality literally changed as if I am again in my early twenties as my-fangirling-self. I feel excited everyday. Being a pedonoona has made my output in life fresh again. Even my family and co-workers have noticed how my personality has changed.  Not bad being a pedo and a noona, right?

And lastly, it makes me feel happy everyday. After a long and tiring day of office work and taking care of my family, my fangirling moments are what I look forward to the most. I am also happy because I know I am not the only one here. (This ahjumma fan is not a weirdo after all!) This is a worldwide phenomenon. There may be tens of thousands of fangirls out there who are similar to me, so there is nothing to be ashamed of.

… So I leave this to all the closet pedonoonas out there… and I’m sending this pedonoona love to you. Be proud and be loud! Pedonoonas of the world, hwaiting!