Pok and Tong

 I am hoping for some views of their relationship because this morning when I got out of a meeting at 3 am (the meeting's host is in another country where it's a civil time of day. *grumble*) I thought I might re-watch some scenes.   And I didn't but just get to that episode 7 scene--you know the one--and I had to come here and look for peoples' takes on it.

What happened to Pok was related to Tong's action, but Tong's action wasn't inherently wrong even though Pok was hurt by the consequences.  (unlike the test swapping)

I think Pok was only inclined to wound Tong so badly because of their already choppy relationship.  It's possible Pok would have been less awful to someone he wasn't having other troubles with.  I also think he was only able to wound Tong so deeply for the same reason.  Because they have this weird melange of sexual tension, deep love and deeper hurt.   

I want to hear what folks think about that incident and anything else you want to bring up about Pok and Tong.  They really have grabbed me.

I feel like I understand Pok's standpoint.  I empathize with him.  But I think in this situation he did something very wrong.  It wasn't until tonight that I was able to articulate exactly in what way I felt it was wrong outside of "hey, that was a dick move!".

In Tong's defense, we all have to literally "do the best we can" without knowing the outcome of our actions. Some situations are harder to predict that others, or we feel forced to act before we have as much information as we want.  That doesn't mean we shouldn't act.

One could argue that Tong's timing was premature.  He most certainly didn't have names to turn in.  Yes.  But Imagine you knew the person you loved most was being hurt, maybe every day.  Would you wait while they were hurt even more, just to gather evidence?  Or would you act the moment you could, in hopes of saving them from further violence.  Even if the outcome was unsure?  I think we'd all prioritize the safety of the person we loved.  Even if it meant launching in there without enough evidence to establish a clean, predictable outcome.

If their places were reversed, it's true Pok wouldn't have reported the bullies.  He'd have gone in, fists swinging and gotten himself expelled.

On the agency thing, though, I'm not sure.  Because while the act of bullying was happening to Pok and one might argue that meant only he had the right to decide how to deal with it--that's only an argument if Pok and his bullies are the only ones who know about it.

Once someone else knows, they're rather obligated to report it.  In most cultures there is a sort of good Samaritan clause to social responsibility.  The Thai have quite the version of their own.  It's even wired into their greetings.  One of their primary forms of hello translates as "Are you well?".  And if you accidentally casually answer "meh, I've had a rough day" then be prepared for exceptionally intrusive (if utterly delightful) and well-meaning involvement in finding out why your day was rough and what can be done about it.  And wow, if you actually answer you aren't feeling well, it can get wild.

And some people have argued that what made reporting the bullies wrong was that Tong didn't do it because bullying is wrong in general but that it was bullying of Pok in specific.  That's impossible to say for sure, since the context in which Tong became aware of the bullies was via their harassment of Pok.  So we can't weigh his choice in that manner.  But we can simply weigh the value of outcomes vs intent.  On one hand, we could have a Tong who knows about the bullying but never reports it and stands by knowing people continue to hurt the person he loves.  On the other hand, Tong reports it and while the team's events have been canceled, the person he loves is more safe and the coach is now facing the imperative of finding the bullies.  We know the second option is more morally correct than the first.

I get why Pok feels disappointed, but his anger is way out of control.  He was very, very wrong to be cruel and while I understand that their history colored his anger, that still doesn't excuse what he did with that anger.  And unfortunately I think he's going to end up regretting that more than missing the competition.

That isn't to say I can't agree that Pok has a right to be upset, devastated even, over the loss of the ability to compete.

I agree with you!  Your reasoning was really sound and your English was great.  So have no worries.

I didn't really consider that Pok's response, hot as it was, was premeditated.  But I think you're right.  Which makes the wound he dealt all that much more terrible because he can't argue that it was a heat of the moment thing.

Now that episode 8 has dropped and the idiot coach is finally dealing with things, I feel back for Pok.  But at the same time, he can't keep being cruel and pushing Tong away only to go "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it" later.  That's pretty abusive.

Pok and Tong definitely have a lot to work through.  And I'm worried things are going to be worse before they get better.  

I have to wonder if Tong is going to work past the hurt before Pok manages to corner him to offer an apology.  And I wonder what part, if any, Kalae and the other juniors will play in Pok and Tong repairing their relationship.

But man, Pok has got to get his head straight.

Now that we know that Tong's decisions played out in Pok's best interest (And the idiot coach finally got his head out of his ass) I am really curious how this will play out.

Pok looked so resigned and so sad.  But I loved Tong's moment of "Fuck no".  It was so honest!  

We knew Pok was wrong.  And now that he knows, I wonder on what terms he's wanting to apologize.  Does he really know why what he did was wrong?  I am not so sure.  Pok doesn't seem to learn from his mistakes.  And I don't think the writers are letting him off that easy.

Also, I suspect those bullies still have a part to play in all of this.