Tushan Jing and Xiao Yao, here's to a Happily Ever After

 AH :

All of that said, I think some fans do not give TSJ enough grace in this situation. He thought his grandmother and the fiancee he had spent years trying not to hurt (even though she treated him terribly and was repulsed by him) had conspired against him and tricked him so that FFYY could date rape him. And he thought that this situation might lead to him losing the woman he loved forever. A woman he felt that he could not live without. Only three months had passed since the incident. That's not a lot of time to process such a horrific experience. And TSJ had no real support in that situation. So although his failure to warn XY when he had the chance led to XY being hurt worse than she would have been hurt if he had warned her, I do think that his hesitation to speak about what had happened was understandable.

Absolutely... Honestly at this point I was mad at Xiaoyao in the novel for purposely abandoning him in a difficult situation. She actually saw Jing being harassed by FFYY. If she stayed behind for 3 more days as he had requested to go to Zhiyi together, when FFYY tried to kill herself, Xiaoyao could have been there to stop Jing from being set up.
She intentionally left him alone to the wolves in his family, so at the time, even as a yaojing fan, I felt like she really was not bothering to protect Jing at all. As she said later on in regret, she really just stood on one side and watched him struggle on his own.

Obviously Tonghua wrote the story this way, so that we will have the whole soap-opera arc and the breakup angst part, without which, Xiaoyao would have really thought she didn't really care about Jing as much as she did. Its all a painful growing process in this xianxia lol.
 
I think that Jing really had no strong support after his ordeal. As a man, Lirong Chang probably couldn't really understand the violation he felt after the entire incident, Jing's repeated bathing was really sad because that showed typical assault victims behavior. Yet, convention says he needs to be held accountable for something that had been done to him. Its already so horrible. I don't blame him for not being able to tell Xiaoyao about it, because its not an easy topic to just talk about casually. "Oh you know, by the way, 3 months ago, my grandma and FFYY drugged me and she slept with me... etc..."

To him, that is probably the end of his relationship with Xiaoyao if he put it to words. Even if FFYY was not already pregnant with Hou's child, I wonder if Jing can even overcome that hurdle himself.

As I have said, I think Tonghua always meant to show that for any successful relationship, a couple needs to be there for each other, and there has to be two way communication. Only then can they really love and cherish the other.

 soTreeD:

In the novel, it was clearly written that Hou really loved his grandma haha

Dang!!! Nope, still don't like Hou even if he loves grandma. ( ≖‿  ≖ )

Hahaha...too biased towards Hou. (ง ͠ಥ_ಥ)ง LOL

 soTreeD:

Absolutely... Honestly at this point I was mad at Xiaoyao in the novel for purposely abandoning him in a difficult situation. She actually saw Jing being harassed by FFYY. If she stayed behind for 3 more days as he had requested to go to Zhiyi together, when FFYY tried to kill herself, Xiaoyao could have been there to stop Jing from being set up.
She intentionally left him alone to the wolves in his family, so at the time, even as a yaojing fan, I felt like she really was not bothering to protect Jing at all. As she said later on in regret, she really just stood on one side and watched him struggle on his own.

I don't blame XY for her choices in chapter 24 and chapter 25. 

Yes, XY saw that FFYY was clinging to TSJ and that he clearly didn't enjoy it. But what could XY have done about that? 

Pass on CX's suggestion to kill FFYY to TSJ? Or act on that suggestion herself? She explains to CX why that wasn't an option. 

Tell TSJ about the fact that FFYY previously tried to assassinate CX during the time when the Fang Feng clan was supporting XY's Fifth Uncle's pursuit of the throne? Would that have changed anything? IMO, despite XY's self-censuring words in chapter 33, having that knowledge would not have saved TSJ from being tricked and trapped by FFYY and his grandmother. His downfall wasn't that he trusted FFYY. His downfall was that he trusted his grandmother. 

IMO, XY couldn't do anything that would change the situation so that FFYY wouldn't cling to TSJ or so that TSJ would not end up tricked and trapped. If XY did say anything, she'd only make herself look like a jealous woman, with no benefit for TSJ or herself. 

-----

Chapter 7:

Xiao Liu lowered his head and stared at his feet before mumbling, “I want to ask you, under any circumstances, to never hurt Xuan.”

Jing softly sighed as if he was disappointed yet also happy. “Fine.”

Xiao Liu raised his head in shock. “You agree?”

Jing nodded. “I promised to listen to whatever you want.”

Xiao Liu thought now that assassinating Xuan must be the sole idea of Fang Feng Yi Yang. Jing appeared to know nothing about what Fang Feng Yi Yang was up to. She did something so big and never told him?

Xiao Liu wanted to say something to warn Jing, but Fang Feng Yi Yang was Jing’s fiancee. To speak about her behind her back in front of Jing was a very dastardly thing to do. Xiao Liu didn’t care to do that so swallowed his words.

-----

Chapter 24:

Xiao Yao practiced her archery for an hour and felt a bit tired and handed her bow to Shan Hu before heading to check on Jing.

As she left her residence, she strolled along the forest lane leisurely since she loved the crisp Autumn air and the red leaves. She took her time and took the long route heading up the mountain to a pavilion to rest a bit and enjoy the view.

Miao Pu tugged her sleeve and whispered, “Princess, look!”

Xiao Yao looked at the direction she pointed, and after she was injured and her body took in a lot of Xiang Liu’s essential soul blood, there were a lot of changes and one of it was much farther and sharper vision. She saw at the bottom of the mountain lane Jing and Yi Yang walking alongside each other. It wasn’t clear what they were talking about but their footsteps appeared slow.

They arrived at Jing’s residence and he stopped to bid Yi Yang farewell. She suddenly embraced him and appeared to be crying as her body shook. She looked like a flower in the rain, sad and frail, as if needing protection.

Jing wanted to push her away but her powers were strong so he pushed a few times but she wouldn’t budge and instead held on tighter to him. He was still a gentleman so he couldn’t rebuke a crying woman so he could only try to avoid her.

Miao Pu said, “Master Jing is too soft-hearted. Some women are like vines, seemingly weak but clinging on ever tighter.”

Xiao Yao walked out of the pavilion and headed towards Jing’s residence. Maio Pu said, “If Princess is annoyed, tell His highness and he’ll have an idea to chase Fang Feng Yi Yang away.”

Xiao Yao said, “We’re not even together and I need Gege to help solve the problem. Later when we are together and it’s forever, we’ll face all sorts of problems. Should I have my Gege help me each and every time?”

Miao Pu stuck out her tongue and giggled. “His highness will be happy to solve Princess’s problems for the rest of your life.”

Xiao Yao strolled another turn in the forest before heading back.

Shan Hu saw them return and asked, “Was Master Jing busy? You’re back so soon.”

Miao Pu gave Shan Hu a look and Shan Hu immediately changed the topic. “Princess, are you thirsty? When we were leaving, Miss Xing Yue gave me some evergreen flowers and I’ll go brew you some evergreen honey water.”

That afternoon Jing came to see Xiao Yao and he looked thoroughly exhausted. Xiao Yao pretended not to notice and said nothing. The two silently sat for a bit and Xiao Yao passed him a cup of evergreen flower honey. “This time I came to Qing Qiu with you for the Grand Madam’s illness. Now she’s stabilized, and takes her pills regularly and I send more on a regular basis, that ought to be enough. I’m going to head back now.”

Jing said, “I’m going to Zhi Yi Castle in a few days. Let’s go together then.”

Xiao Yao smiled. “The truth is that I’m not accustomed to staying here. You know my personality, casual and lazy. I can’t even stay in Five Gods Mountain and my dad knows it which is why he allows me to wander around the world. If I stay here I need to watch what I say and do for the sake of my dad and my grandfather. I can’t be myself.”

Jing quickly said, “Then I’ll send someone to escort you back. I’ll spend some time with my grandmother and then go to Zhi Yi.”

Xiao Yao smiled and nodded her head.

...

Zhuan Xu said, “Jing couldn’t have anticipated the Grand Madam having only another year left and it messed up his plans. Fang Feng Yi Yang also couldn’t have expected that with Jing as the clan leader now, if the Grand Madam died then the Tu Shan clan cannot restrict his plans anymore. So no one will help Fang Feng Yi Yang to marry Jing so she needs to rush the marriage now before the Grand Madam dies. She was always anxious but with you suddenly appearing in Qing Qiu, it would be like her greatest enemy showing up on her front step. She’s going to use every way to cling onto Jing. So you shouldn’t blame Jing too much for what happened and let it go.”

...

Xiao Yao said, “I want to go back to Gao Xing and see my dad. Any word you want me to bring?”

“No, but I have presents for Consort Jing An and Ah Nian. When are you going back?”

“If your present is ready by tomorrow, I’ll leave tomorrow.”

Zhuan Xu smiled wanly. “Are you missing Master or trying to avoid Jing?”

“Both. From when I woke up until Jing took over as clan leader, we have both been forced into decisions due to the circumstances. No matter what he’s now the clan leader and carries the future of his entire clan on his back. I feel like he needs to settle down and we both need to assess our new roles in life and decide what we each need.”

“You keep talking about him, but what about yourself? What do you think?”

Xiao Yao flipped over and rested her chin on the pillow and stared at Zhuan Xu. “Forget me, I’m the same as you. We appear to be two extremes but we’re the same. We will never actively fight for something, because we’re afraid that it’s a mistake to fight for it to begin with. We are both so reactive, hoping the choice picks us.”

Zhuan Xu looked torn and glanced at Xiao Yao before laughing. “I’m different than you, I don’t care about romance.”

Xiao Yao laughed. “This is different, I want someone to spend an entire life with me, but you’ve chosen to spend your entire life with power.”

Zhuan Xu rubbed her head and sighed “The presents will be ready tomorrow, you leave tomorrow then! Go rest in Five Gods Mountain and if you get bored then go fight with Ah Nian.”

...

Zhuan Xu said, “Tu Shan Jing is at Little Zhu Rong’s residence. When are you going to see him?”

“I’ll go tomorrow, I want to go to Qing Qiu with him to see the Grand Madam and make more medicine for her. I’ll be back in a week or so, take care of Ah Nian for me.”

Zhuan Xu held his wine and grinned at Xiao Yao until she couldn’t take it anymore. “Is he well these days?”

Zhuan Xu smiled, “You want me to tell you?”

“Gege!”

Zhuan Xu said, “After you left, he came about ten days later to see you and learned you went back to Gao Xing. His face darkened and I guaranteed you would come back before he relaxed a bit. But recently he’s been odd. Xing Yue says he spends all night pacing in the Evergreen residence and likes to bathe and change often.”

“Bathe? Change clothes?” Xiao Yao remembered when Fang Feng Yi Yang hugged him that time, he changed afterwards before seeing her.

Zhuan Xu said, “I see Jing won’t end the engagement while the Grand Madam is still alive and will wait until she’s dead. Actually I can’t figure Tu Shan Jing out. Feng Long seems smart and bold, but I can control him because I know what he wants. Tu Shan Jing seems mild and gentle but he’s like creek water, impossible to grasp and hold. I can’t rein him. He appears to really want to be with you but he does nothing concrete. To get the Fang Feng clan to end the engagement, there are ways to force it!”

Xiao Yao glared. “Is the Fang Feng family causing trouble for you so you want Jing to take them out?”

Zhuan Xu yelled back, “I’m upset for you!”

Xiao Yao said, “I get your point, as long as Fang Feng Yi Yang’s life and death doesn’t matter, then there is a way to end the engagement and even get rid of her. Once she’s dead, the wedding is off. But the engagement was set by Jing’s mom and grandmother, Fang Feng Yi Yang just wants to be the clan leader’s wife and hasn’t done anything really bad to Jing. Honestly, if Jing was like you and was hardhearted enough to decide on the plan to kill Fang Feng Yi Yang to end the engagement, then I would actually leave him. Men like you make decisive and hard decisions, so attractive to the world, but I’m just an ordinary woman and I wanted a companion for the rest of my life. Life is long and so many things can happen, I believe only a kind person can be good to me for my entire life. Even if I make a mistake he will accept me. I don’t believe a hardhearted person to the world will make me an exception, I’m neither that confident nor that self-absorbed.”

Zhuan Xu angrily tossed his cup down and turned to leave. “Fine, I’m hardhearted, then you quickly leave me!”

Xiao Yao quickly grabbed him. “You’re the only exception."

-----

Chapter 25:

Jing Ye led Xiao Yao inside the room, “Master, the Princess is here.”

Jing stood before the table and quietly stared at Xiao Yao, his eyes reflecting a quiet control.

Xiao Yao’s heart twinged and felt like he was a bit off. She asked, “What's the matter? Don’t welcome me? The Grand Madam’s pills are almost done so let’s go to Qing Qiu!”

Jing appeared to snap out of it and walked over wanting to embrace Xiao Yao but hesitated and only took her hand.

Xiao Yao smiled, “Let’s go!”

“Yes.” Jing pulled Xiao Yao out the door. The two got in a cloud carriage and Jing remained strangely quiet.

Xiao Yao thought it was about her leaving for Gao Xing without saying goodbye and explained, “I went to Gao Xing alone to help me think. We’ve been forced along by situations and I wanted you to have time to think clearly. Plus I needed to spend some time with my dad.”

Jing said in a low voice, “Xiao Yao.”

“Yes?”

“Xiao Yao.”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Xiao Yao……”

Xiao Yao stared at him quizzically but Jing said nothing more.

They arrived at Qing Qiu at dusk and Jing took Xiao Yao to greet the Grand Madam.

-----

Chapter 33:

Xiao Yao gestured for Jing to be silent and let her finish. “Xan Tian Er said that a person’s life was like walking a mountain road with no clue what to expect. People want a partner for the walk to assist and help. I promised to walk the road with you, but I was always pessimistically waiting. It was like if we went to climb a mountain and agreed to do it together, but when I saw you heading down the wrong path, I didn’t stop you and let you continue the wrong way. So I saw a drop and didn’t help you from falling and instead stood to the side watching coldly.”

Xiao Yao asked Jing, “Did you know that Fang Feng Yi Yang tried many times to kill Zhuan Xu? One time she even shot an arrow into his chest.”

“What?” Jing looked shocked.

Xiao Yao said, “Fang Feng Yi Yang was always polite and well-mannered in front of you, gentle and sweet, but I knew from the very beginning that she was calculating and deadly. I also knew you were soft-hearted and felt apologetic to her. Fang Feng Yi Yang was sure to use your personality and your regret against you. But I did nothing, I didn’t even warn you. I stood to the side and watched. My childhood made me pessimistic about human emotions. I felt like nothing will last forever and no one can be relied on. I never truly believed in you and I didn’t want to make the effort first. So when what I expected happened, I felt like it was exactly as I predicted. I knew people can’t be trusted. But I didn’t know that what we put in is what we get back. We need to make the effort to achieve the ending we want. Xan Tian Er said that if I never planted the seeds and tilled the field, how can I expect to reap the crop in the end?”

There were tears in Xiao Yao’s eyes. “Every night I thought about the fault and knew that I was wrong. My own pessimistic personality and attitude, my own distrust of others, it caused me to lose the man I like. If I made a bit more effort, said more or did more, perhaps the result would be completely different. Zhuan Xu thought I couldn’t get over it because I hated you, but in truth it’s because I can’t forgive myself. Jing, you shouldn’t feel guilty anymore. The world thinks we’re both very smart and calculating but when it came to our feelings and relationship, we both made mistakes. A person can make mistakes that can be fixed, other times it can never be fixed…….”

Every night when she woke up from her dreams, she knew she was wrong but it was too late to fix. That pain was like a saw cutting through her bones. But it was all too late……..

Xiao Yao’s tears fell and she turned around to use her sleeve to wipe her tears but it fell more and more.

Jing was so anxious he grabbed her “Xiao Yao, Xiao Yao….don’t cry! You did nothing wrong, I promised to make the effort and to have faith in you and to protect you, but I didn’t do it.”

Xiao Yao leaned her head on his shoulder and cried soundlessly. In the thousands of nights in the dark, she hated Fang Feng Yi Yang, hated Jing, and in the end, hated herself.

-----

IMO, telling TSJ that FFYY had nearly assassinated CX wouldn't have changed anything. Even with that knowledge, XY didn't anticipate that FFYY and TSJ's grandmother would conspire together to do something like enchant and drug TSJ in order to try and get TSJ to sleep with FFYY. And XY (and TSJ) didn't know that FFYY was already pregnant with TSH's child, so that FFYY would be able to trap TSJ even though TSJ didn't actually sleep with FFYY.

At that time, XY was reeling from the fact that TSJ had become the Tushan Clan Leader due to his grandmother's pressure. Which seemed to mean that TSJ could never return YSQ to her, as he had previously promised. XY wanted to live a simple life with YSQ. She didn't want to be a Clan Leader's wife. A Clan Leader would always need to consider his obligations to the clan and might not be able to put her first. And a Clan Leader's wife would need to behave and consider the political and business consequences of her actions. So she wouldn't be free to be herself. Which was why XY said she needed time to assess and reflect on how to deal with the new situation and what they both needed. 

Between the fact that XY could not have anticipated what happened to TSJ (just as he himself did not anticipate it), there was nothing really that XY could have done to prevent it, and XY needed time to herself to assess and reflect, I think it makes perfect sense that XY chose not to go to Zhi Yi with TSJ and instead went back to Five Gods Mountain for a few months. 

-

-

After XY found out about what FFYY and TSJ's grandmother had done, I also don't blame XY for the way she handled herself. She gave TSJ an opportunity to meet with her and explain himself. She thanked him when he finally explained himself. She acknowledged to TSJ that her trust in him was not misplaced and told him not to blame himself any longer (even though she had been deeply hurt by the circumstances and, even though TSJ wasn't at fault for the outcome, she wouldn't have been hurt that way if he had never confessed and asked her to trust him). 

And, IMO, on top of everything else that wasn't TSJ's fault, XY was probably hurt by the fact that TSJ apparently succumbed to the influence of the love potion and illusion spell and slept with "XY" (who was actually FFYY) in FFYY's bed. As TSJ said in chapter 33, the love potion could only cause TSJ to do things he actually wanted to do... and sleeping with XY like that in FFYY's bed (especially while still engaged to FFYY and not married to XY) ...that would demonstrate that TSJ's desire to sleep with XY was greater than his desire to respect her and care about her feelings. We (readers who have read the subsequent chapters that reveal what really happened) know that TSJ actually didn't sleep with "XY" at that time, but XY doesn't find that out until chapter 33. And she doesn't get absolute confirmation of that until after XY seduced TSH and then TSJ recorded TSH and FFYY's confrontation... at least six months later iirc. And remember in chapter 14, after TSJ stopped XY from kissing him on the lips, XY asked TSJ why he did so and mentioned that she thought that young men who see a woman all want to push the woman down on a bed and tear her clothes off. TSJ assured XY that he was not like that, which made XY shy and happy. TSJ sleeping with "XY" like that made it seem like TSJ was lying in chapter 14 and that he was actually like other lustful men who lacked principles and care for their woman. So even though TSJ was unexpectedly tricked and the resulting consequences seemed like they mostly weren't his fault (and, as they later found out, were actually entirely not his fault), XY still had a small reason to be disappointed in TSJ and to maybe even blame him a little bit.

To also expect XY to comfort TSJ in that situation or to not break up with him and compromise on her red line to never marry a man who had another woman... I think that's not a fair expectation. 

TSJ and XY were both deeply, deeply hurt. XY's health was seriously impacted. And really, there wasn't much that XY could do for TSJ in this situation, just as there wasn't much that TSJ could do for XY in this situation. TSJ couldn't tell XY that he would not marry FFYY and XY couldn't tell TSJ that she would forego her cardinal rule and still choose to be with him (either as his mistress or as his second wife). Neither of them could tell the other that everything was fine and it would all be okay. At that time, neither of them had any idea that FFYY was having an affair with TSH or that TSZ might not actually be TSJ's son. So there was no sliver of hope for a solution that they could work towards together, as there was when they reconciled in chapter 33. 

Also, I did think that it was wrong for TSJ to make it seem like it was XY's fault that he didn't tell her what happened before the pregnancy reveal. He had the opportunity to tell her and wasn't able to bring himself to do it. As I said before, I understand why he wasn't able to. But I thought it was wrong for TSJ to not take responsibility for that and to instead make it seem like it was XY's fault. 

-----

Chapter 25:

Zhuan Xu walked out and saw Ah Nian pleading with Xiao Yao and smiled at the cuteness, but he immediately sensed something was off. Xiao Yao was as dazed as a wooden doll and Ah Nian was tugging her to the point that Xiao Yao was about to fall over. He cried out “Ah Nian, let go….”

Before he finished saying it, Xiao Yao’s body pitched forward and Zhuan Xu flew up to catch her in his arms and Xiao Yao spit up blood on Zhuan Xu’s collar.

Zhuan Xu immediately picked Xiao Yao up in his arms and rushed inside the court while yelling “Bring the doctor!”

...

Zhuan Xu carefully placed Xiao Yao on the pallet and she used her sleeve to wipe the blood from her lip and smiled. “Don’t worry, this is a congealed blood clot on my heart, it’s better to spit it out.”

...

Ah Nian read the sign language and explained to Xiao Yao, “He said you are suddenly so distraught that your spirit couldn’t move through your body, but to keep your sorrow tamped down it caused harm to your heart and what you spit out was a congealed blood clot on your heart. It’s better now and you have to rest well in the coming days and not to have wild mood swings.”

...

Zhuan Xu said to Jing, “Xiao Yao is willing to see you.”

Jing followed Xiao Xiao to Xiao Yao’s residence and when the door opened, a warm and medicinal air wafted out.

Shan Hu and Hai Tang were holding Spring flowers and discussing how to arrange it. When Shan Hu saw Jing, she rolled her eyes and coldly harrumphed.

Separated by a crystal partition, he could see Xiao Yao wearing a yellow robe laying on the pallet facing Ah Nian. The two of them had a crystal dish between them and Ah Nian was using her powers to conjure up an entire dish full of lilies and Xiao Yao was laughing at the trick.

Xiao Xiao and Miao Pu welcomed Jing in. Ah Nian smiled at Xiao Yao “Jiejie’s guest is here so I’ll come play with Jiejie later.”

Ah Nian nodded at Jing and then left.

Xiao Yao gestured to where Ah Nian had been sitting and invited Jing in with a smile.

Xiao Yao’s face was pale white and her body wan, but she was wearing a warm yellow color and had on a bit of blush so she didn’t seem all that sick. She seemed more like a Spring flower that was facing the still cold late Winter air, a fragile kind of beauty rooted in steeliness to survive.

Jing’s heart churned in pain. “Xiao Yao, I…..”

Xiao Yao silently stared at him and intently listened.

Jing said with great difficulty, “Three months ago, the first time you gave Grandmother the pills, Yi Yang started sticking really close to me. Usually I could leave Qing Qiu to avoid her but Grandmother was sick so I couldn’t go anywhere. One night she tried to kill herself and even Grandmother was alarmed. She chastised me so I had to keep her company as she recovered. Later….I thought I saw you and you kept smiling at me…..” Jing’s face was filled with regret and anguish. “I don’t know what happened but I woke up and I was sleeping with Yi Yang in my arms.”

Xiao Yao coolly explained, “You likely got entranced by a confusion spell and then a love potion. You learned from me for a long time, how could you so easily fall into Yi Yang’s medicinal trap?”

Jing’s hands were clenched into a fist and he was filled with rage, but then he released it. “My Grandmother set up the trap.” His dearest family tricking him left him nowhere to turn to release his rage.

Xiao Yao was astonished. “It was the Grand Madam.”

Jing curled over in pain and put his hands on his face. “Yi Yang told me that she just wanted to be my wife. If I wanted to I could kill her. In that instant I really wanted to kill her, but I wanted to kill myself more…..I escaped from her room and ran to Zhi Yi. I didn’t dare go see you and instead hid in the Li Jie tribe gambling den and drank myself into a stupor. Ten days later the owner kicked me out back to Little Zhu Rong’s residence when I learned that you had long left for Gao Xing.”

Xiao Yao thought and realized this was why Jing was so strange and didn’t contact her while she was gone.

Jing said, “I wanted to find the chance to tell you this but you rushed to make medicine for Grandmother and I never got the chance. After you were done, before I could tell you, Yi Yang fainted….Xiao Yao, I’m sorry!”

Xiao Yao was silent and then said, “Thank you for telling me this. Now I know at least that I didn’t misjudge you. My trust was not wrongly given. But what’s happened has happened and nothing can be reversed. Don’t blame yourself anymore.”

Xiao Yao took off her fish amethyst necklace and placed it in front of Jing. “The Grand Madam will likely hold your wedding to Yi Yang soon. I won’t be attending to congratulate you. I’ll give you my blessings early now – respect and love each other until your hair is white.

Jing’s head jerked up and he stared at Xiao Yao.

In the dish, the lilies Ah Nian conjured up were wilting and as each petal fell and each leaf wilted, Xiao Yao sat on the pallet seemingly looking at him and seemingly not seeing him. The distance between them was but one crystal dish, but it felt as far and wide as the ends of the Earth.

Jing’s hand shook and he picked up the necklace and walked out of the residence. His footsteps were one light one heavy and he had no clue how he walked back to Zhuan Xu’s residence.

-----

Chapter 33:

“After my sister-in-law died, I started to really take a look at my situation with Fang Feng Yi Yang. I tried to recollect that night and even used a highly powered fox demon to hypnotize me and bring forth my hidden memories. But I could never remember that night. All my memory was being in a daze and mistaking Yi Yang for you and you took off your clothes and embraced me and wanted to make love, but I tried hard to push you away………and then I remembered nothing.”

When Jing spoke he kept watching Xiao Yao, afraid she would leave in anger but luckily she kept her promise and remained silently listening.

Jing said, “My powers may not be as high as Xiang Liu, Feng Long and those top warriors in the vast wilderness, but I’m still the descendant of the nine-tailed fox. I learned my powers from childhood so it’s not low. A love potion can’t work on people like us, all it does is increase an existing urge but it wouldn’t be able to render me unable to control my urges.”

Xiao Yao nodded, it was true. To the Gods, forget Jing, even giving a love potion to those sleazebags like Cui Liang, they won’t be rendered unable to control themselves. A bucket of water could break the spell, they simply didn’t want to control themselves.

Jing saw that Xiao Yao agreed with his conclusion and continued. “Yi Yang must know that so she knew the love potion couldn’t make me ... sleep with her. So she had my grandmother put a mystifying spell on me so that I mistook her for you. But Yi Yang doesn’t know how much you mean to me. Because that person is you, I would never, ever sleep with you under those circumstances.”

Xiao Yao asked, “Even if I threw myself at you, you still wouldn’t?”

Jing said, “If you threw yourself at me, I would control myself even more. If you are willing it means you trust me, so I will try even harder not to let you down and give you everything you deserve. Xiao Yao, back then Yi Yang tried to kill herself and I went to see her, but that was another woman’s room and another woman’s bed. I want to be with you openly and legitimately, how could I have slept with you just like that on another woman’s bed? That would be shaming and hurting you! No matter how confused I was, I firmly believe I would never betray my deepest convictions.”

Xiao Yao said nothing. She experienced Zhuan Xu detoxing from the drugs and he was in such pain he wanted to ram a wall. But the moment he hurt her then Zhuan Xu would immediately retreat.

Xiao Yao knew medicines and the spell could only arouse what was deep inside, but she also believed Jing deeply respected her and would never sleep with her on another woman’s bed.

 AH :

Also, I did think that it was wrong for TSJ to make it seem like it was XY's fault that he didn't tell her what happened before the pregnancy reveal. He had the opportunity to tell her and wasn't able to bring himself to do it. As I said before, I understand why he wasn't able to. But I thought it was wrong for TSJ to not take responsibility for that and to instead make it seem like it was XY's fault. 

I think it must have been very difficult for Jing to bring himself to tell XY at that point in time as he should be still very traumatised. But even though the way he put it was like XY's fault, he was still apologizing for it. He would have spilled his guts out if XY took note of his strange moodiness and asked him repeatedly what was bothering him. Sighs...

 AH :

Lol, I'm picturing WXL munching on the snacks that YSQ made for her. 

Anything made by YSQ would be yum. I'll have some too please. Nom nom nom....LOL

 AH :

An apology that comes after shifting some of the blame on to the person being apologized to so that the person being apologized to feels that they are also at fault... that suddenly feels... not good or respectable. 

I see where you are coming from. That is also true.

 AH :

When TSJ tried to tell XY what happened three times, she was very receptive and gave him the opportunity to speak and showed that she was listening. But when he didn't say anything more than her name three times, she didn't press him further beyond giving him a quizzical look.

Given how hopeless and trapped he felt, the last thing TSJ needed was for XY to corner him and badger him into explaining his quiet and withdrawn behaviour. So if XY had asked him repeatedly to explain his behaviour, wouldn't she come across as pushy - like she was not giving him space and time to tell her whatever was on his mind (which he was obviously reluctant to say) whenever he was ready to do so? 

Sighs...I think poor Jing was really too traumatised to put it into words to XY. What I meant by XiaoYao asking him repeatedly is not in the badgering way since he is already in this state. More like a kindly manner. Hold his paw...I mean hand...LOL and ask him after the 3rd time he called her name and say "Jing, you can tell me anything, you know that right?" I think in his current traumatised state he needed more reassurance. And she should just hold his hand and just look at him kindly and maybe pat his hand. Maybe after a while he might be able to spill it out. My take on it.  FUIYOH (as Uncle Roger would say) I sound like their couple therapist. AHAHHAHAHA (  ≧ᗜ≦) 

But jokes aside, my heart goes out to Jing. Even though he was born with a silver spoon, he got betrayed by family, tortured and graped. It was rough on him too, covered in scars and wounds that are not 100% healed. Thankfully he was resilient and loyal enough to the clan to keep his wits about him and run the Tushan company.  XY also came around in the end and helped him. We get our YaoJing happy ending.  YAYYYY...♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡ 

*ChunTian bites into a duck neck. Nom nom nom*   (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑) Go YaoJing!  

 ChunTian:

But it is good that XiaoYao realised that she has been going into relationships (friendship, kinship, couple etc) expecting it to fail as a self protection mechanism and not putting in the effort on her part.

Think Xiaoyao had to learn the hard way just how much she actually was into the relationship, how much she really loved Tushan Jing, before she will learn how to properly cherish their relationship.

This is why I never saw how 'she had no choice' unless they mean she had no choice because she is too in love with Jing and he was the only one for her. lol

Anyway this is xianxia so I recognized the tropes TH used in her writing. Typically there are going to be misunderstandings and obstacles faced by the OTP, they need to cough blood over each other a few times ( TTEOTM hahahaah ), die a few times ( TH world only die once, so she introduced 'extra lives' ) , but maybe without world ending prophesies or curses, just an engagement, a fake son, feels a bit too small scale hahahahah 

 AH :

It maybe seems like a silly distinction to make, but the slightly good news is that he wasn't raped. He was tricked into believing that he had been date raped (which, in terms of the psychological impact, is pretty much exactly the same as actually being date raped) but then he later realizes (and later confirms) that although he was violated (since he was drugged, fell unconscious, and woke up in FFYY's bed with FFYY in his arms even though he had pushed her away before he fell unconscious) he was not actually date raped. Which, although obviously still bad, I think is slightly better for him than having to spend his whole immortal life living with the knowledge (or mistaken belief) that he had been date raped. Hopefully finding out the truth helped lessen / heal the trauma he previously endured. 

Yes, luckily it turned out to be otherwise. Jing must have felt immediately better when it was confirmed that he was not in any way violated by someone he does not like. 

He must have been greatly weakened since his torture ordeal since FFYY is stronger than him!! Yikes!

 AH :

Although, as we discussed before, that limp and his other remaining injuries might have been partly or wholly healed later in the novel thanks to the various treatments that XY prescribed to him starting in chapter 33, the life-preserving pill she created for him in chapter 33 that he took in chapter 42, and the blood jewel that XL created from XY's blood in chapter 46 that was used to revive TSJ in chapter 49

Awww AH, thank you. You know I am concerned over Jing's various ailments and you always take pains to point out that Jing is ok now with XY's TLC.  ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡ 

 soTreeD:

some people who think Xiangliu is better than Jing because he 'made no promises' to Xiaoyao....

Imo, I think XL loved XY too, but she is not his #1 priority. Going off into battle is his non-negotiable priority. So I guess he gave her things which are meant to be his way of being with her when he is no longer around. So who is the noodle now? You give up the girl you love to your competitor? Seriously, he had a chance to say yes to XY to travel the world as FFB. We know both grandpa and Haoling king did not mind having FFB as a son in law. That would have been game over for Jing who was then unhappily married to FFYY. Poor Jing would have died of a broken heart in a short period of time. Phew...cutting it really close huh?

Jing as we all know was trapped by his kind personality and the filial piety/clan loyalty cards played on him by his family. He wanted only to be with XY but got outmaneuvered by his grandmother, Hou and FFYY.  Wished XY was with him during those times, she would be hard hearted in the dealings with those folks who try to hurt Jing. As can be seen how quickly she helped him solve the mystery of Tian's parentage the moment she decided to be by Jing's side.

Dang, I so need to see a happy scene with Jing, XY and their baby foxes. ≽ܫ≼ /ᐠ. .ᐟ\ฅ