Late comment. For me XY/ Tsj relationship = fallen in love.
XY/XL is unrequited because XL is in love with XY but his feelings are not returned 100%. And XY though feeling attacked sometimes only reciprocated friendship. So XL has been friend zoned.
For me what if do not matter. Hell who live their life with "what if and what could have been "? Did XY even asked herself these questions in the book? I cannot remember. Let say she did? It does not matter because she married TSJ twice. She choose to marry him twice to be his wife twice. That's all that matters to me and I love her for this. If that's does not show how much she is in love with TSJ, I do not know what will. He is her heart fully hence why she married him in front of the moon all alone. She was and is in the book YSQ/TSJ woman. And only his woman.