Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 blabla100:

@kokuto

"Chapter 48 is decades and decades later.  Looking back, after all they went through, he may see that event and their interactions differently. "

No, it has nothing to do with being decades later.   His opinion in chapter 7 was pretty much the same.

"What I loathe is that when they discuss me, they look down on me as strange and weird. I let you discuss it because……” Xiang Liu turned to the side and propped his arm under his head and looked at Xiao Liu “you may laugh at me but deep down inside you don’t think a nine-headed demon is strange.”

Xiao Liu smiled “That’s because I used to be even more weird than you.”

Chapter 7 took place years after Chapter 3 or 4 where the humiliation occurred, IIRC.  Again, time and eventually learning how she felt about him, changed how he views her and what happened to him. 

Again, if he liked it, then why his (and her) negative reactions right after the event?  Why did they add the scene to the drama?  If it wasn't a sore point with him, why did he shut her up and bite her the first time, after she started questioning his head placement?  Why did he tell her it was a forbidden subject?

It's like that phrase people say, in the middle of a bad situation, that when they look back on this stressful time, they'll laugh about it.  That is what happened with XL and his sensitivity about his demon 'weirdness.'

 Kokuto:

I flatly do not think one should pursue a relationship, when you are committed to another relationship. This is one reason why I do not like Jing, and why I am frustrated by XY.

Hard agree. XY did a few things that I just cannot get on board with and I don't think can be excused by "trauma". If your psychological issues are having you conducting yourself in ways that are harmful to yourself and others, then please seek help and change. In that whole XY/Jing/FFYY deal,  Xiao Yao didn't seem to spare a single thought for FFYY. She socialized with FFYY and yet didn't seem at all uncomfortable that she was carrying on with this woman's fiancee right under her nose. And the way that she managed the engagement with Feng Long was no better. 

 Kokuto:

XL understanding XY fears may have a part, but let's not forget, XY flatly rejected XL first. That's a decision she made, not him. If he's pushing her away, it's partly because he's respecting her wishes, and the reasonsing behind it

She did and her reasons were very much about her fears of abandonment and being alone and lonely. Fears that never really went away throughout the novel. Every time that she returns to Jing is another confirmation for XL that while she may want to be with him, her fears are stronger than her commitment to being with him. I don't think she should pine after XL for the rest of her life or anything, but the speed at which she goes from "I want to be with you" to "you don't want me, let me go and find Jing" left my head spinning.  Again, just different values. 

 Kokuto:

Furthermore, it's XY who is setting the conditions for her relationships, not XL. Again, he's respecting her wishes. So I disagree that it's XL that is the one who is doing the rejecting

I think they both did their share of rejecting. They were not in sync; when one was stepping into the relationship, the other was stepping away and vice versa. I maintain that XL's awareness of XY's fears (i.e. her conditions for a partner) influenced his decision to stay away as he couldn't give her what she needed. Personally, what I think XY needs is intensive therapy, but alas, I'm not the author :-).

The crystal ball was her strongest overture towards him and even that was shadowed by her engagement and impending marriage to Feng Long. I mean, on the verge of marrying one man, but is sending a confession and ultimatum to your secret crush? Come on, this behaviour is not good at all.

 Kokuto:

And yes! XL has a right to his own damn decisions. The double standard around their relationship is annoying. I mean, why does XL have to give up his relationship to Hong Jiang for XY, when she has consistently chosen CX over XL

XY is quite hypocritical and selfish. She demands things that she isn't willing to give. Jing had to give up everything to be with her, part of the reason for Jing's support of CX was to please XY. If Jing had done anything detrimental to CX, she would have kicked him to the curb. This is funny considering that she knew XL wanted to kill CX; knew that FFB was trying to assassinate CX and yet she didn't say a word to warn CX about the danger that was right in his line of sight. She was more concerned about XL not blowing his identity and constantly reminded him to stay safe :-).

 Kokuto:

Furthermore, how serious can anyone take XY, when she demands monogamy, and yet she's consistently pursuing two or more men.

I didn't want to be the one to say it, but since you've already did, let me co-sign this real quick. I can see why they would change things up in the drama to push for the 1:1 YaoJing pairing and downplaying YaoLiu, otherwise, people will be saying not so kind things about our female lead and her questionable conduct.

 Kokuto:

Like, what person, much less XL wants to be a second choice?

Someone with non-existence self-esteem and self-respect. Someone named Jing :-). Have you forgotten about the fox? He knew XY's feelings for XL; he's always lurking around to make sure that she doesn't run off with XL. But he's happy to be her second choice just as long as he gets to be with her.

 blabla100:

I belive it all boils down to whether you belive that XL has ever view / offered himself as a candidate for XY or not. I personally strongly belive he never had this intention and that his goal was never to pursue a love relationship with her. It is already been a while since I read the novel în its foolest, so there are details that I probably don't remember much anymore, but even if I were to belive that he fantasized about a relationship with her, that never went beyond the beach scene. 

I read through your posts, and I think this is probably the biggest difference in our view. You don't think XL had ever considered a relationship with XY - the bug transfer was solely to protect her. Whereas I believe that he did consider and plan for a relationship with WXL/XY and the bug transfer was his vow and commitment to her (as well as a way to protect her). A short-term relationship is still a relationship. Perhaps, it's not that he didn't offer himself as an option, but that his offer was not acceptable to XY and he became aware of this as the story progressed.

I think even after the beach scene, he didn't fully give up on the possibility of them being together. He approached her as FFB to teach her archery. He could have kept his true identity hidden, but the way that he kept on asking her "Who do you want me to be", told me that he wanted her to know that he was XL. And his "why not give up everything and roam the world with me", as glib as it was, was what he wanted. Before he left to go back Qing Shui, he told her to "wait for me", that didn't sound like he was pulling away from her. It was only after the 37 years that you can clearly see that he pulled back.

It's amazing that it's the same novel and yet we have such different interpretations of it :-)

"Like, what person, much less XL wants to be a second choice?"

That's the thing, wasn't XY XL's second choice as well?  

 blabla100:

@HeadInTheClouds

"It was only after the 37 years that you can clearly see that he pulled back" 

Not really, iirc even before that he tried to help her out with Jing. Isn't that scene when FFB tried to expose FFY and Hou relationship to her happened before the 37 years? 

No, it would not influence XY’s attitude to Jing. XY at that time did not distance from Jing. And she chose not to share any negative information about FFYY to Jing.  The drama made XL’s hint more obvious than the novel

 blabla100:

It's not really about XY, but about the fact that FFB was willing to expose his sister for having an affair with Hou to XY and Jing. It kinda makes me believe that he tried to smooth the way for them ever since. 

XL teased many people in that event. His attitude to Jing was quite negetive too. He toyed XY to throw arrow toward Jing who hid behind the bush. In my opinion, he was mocking the high class deity in that event.

In the drama, they made Jing looked visible and XL hint about FFYY and Tushan... and XY thought that he was toying her instead of hinting her about the affair between FFYY and Tushan Hou. In the book. Jing looked much more suspicious and his hint were unclear:

Xiao Yao turned to glare at Fang Feng Bei and snarked “Was that fun, toying someone so straightforward?”

Tu Shan Jing straightforward? Fang Feng Bei’s eyebrows raised at that and he snarked back “Not as fun as toying with you.”

Xiao Yao refused to concede defeat “The days ahead are long, between the two of us, who toys with whom, who torments whom, who is mean to whom, that is still unclear so you watch it!”

Fang Feng Bei grinned “Not bad, being a Princess definitely gave you some guts.”

Xiao Yao stopped and looked around, this maze really was amazing, no wonder it could trap Feng Long and Xing Yue for an entire day.

Xiao Yao looked at Fang Feng Bei “How to get out?”

Fang Feng Bei smiled “This maze has many interesting areas, you don’t want to go check it out?”

“No!”

Fang Feng Bei led Xiao Yao to the exit “Don’t regret it in the future.”

Xiao Yao coldly huffed.

XL and XY kept hanging around Middle Plain as much as they used to be in Xuan Yuan when he hadn't revealed his real identity. Before the assassination, there was no such significant signal that he was stepping backward in their relationship

 blabla100:

@kokuto

It was just a payback for the 40 lashes that she got. By chapter 7 he definetely knows that XY doesn't look down on him for being a nine-headed demon. In fact he likes her guts, even more so since no one before dared to approch him in this manner.  What's more important in that bedroom scene is that both of them got to trust eachother. WXL understood that XL is not going to harm her, despite knowing her blood's secret and XL understood that she is not going to betray him, despite him being the most wanted person în Xuan Yuan. The reward for him was even bigger than the one for Gong Gong. 

We aren't talking about XY's "reasons" for drawing on his face while he was immobilized.  The question is whether or not Xiang Liu thought it was humiliating (in Chapter 3 when it happened, not Chapter 7 years later).  Both her and his reactions right after she did it tell us that he did not think it was joke, and that she knew he was mad about it.

Really?  Would you trust someone who took advantage of you when you were paralyzed and made fun of and  mocked your despised appearance with drawings on your face?  I don't think this was a trust building scene.  XY says in the beginning of that scene that she already knew that XL wasn't going to harm her.