MTH123:
Of course, XY is responsible for her own life, and she did well for herself. I’m talking about a relationship that I thought would have been the best for her, IMO. XL didn’t give XY a chance. He knew all the key information about what she needed and why she was with TSJ. He could have provided what she needed too and better than TSJ, IMO. But, he made a decision for both of them and didn’t give her a say in it.
I'm talking about even in the relationship. Maybe even moreso in the relationship. This is why the misunderstanding 'conflict' trope is so annoying. If you love someone, you have to trust that they aren't going to betray you or do things to hurt you on purpose. What I'm fumbling explaining, is that XL made his decision withought all the information when he accepted the PLB. XY could do the same.
Of course, XL was so much better choice than TSJ, but he couldn't be someone who was not an enemy of her family. Telling her he loved her wasn't going to change that. Even so, I think he would have tried to find a solution, had she confessed and been happy leaving her family. I still maintain, he didn't intend to die with the army when he took the PLB.
XL did give XY a chance. I believe he repeatedly gave her chances, though I may be alone in that theory / belief. He gave her a chance on the beach on Haolin. He gave her a chance when he broke up her marriage to Feng Long. If she acted differently when he took her to Qingshui Town, had she answered she wanted to spend her life with him, I think things would have ended differently.