I came across this on Tumbler...it is such a wonderful insight into Kang Chul and Yeon Joo's sentiment during the police station scene in episode 7. I can't help it but want to share this :
persephunee:
You know what I breaks my heart about Kang Chul? Up until Yeon Joo confesses her love, he literally cannot comprehend why she, or anybody would want to save him. He hates himself, he thinks he’s a monster, and he doesn’t think he deserves to live, let alone deserving to be saved. He doesn’t believe that he deserves love even though he so desperately craves it and needs it.
He’s also so angry because he feels so betrayed. He wanted to die. He wanted to end everything, and it was the one thing he had control over. He thought he had finally gained a semblance of free will, of choice, when he jumped off that bridge and yet again it’s taken away from him. He’s constantly treated like a fictional character, like he’s not alive, human. Nobody ever asks what he wants, and when he makes a choice it’s immediately taken away. Can you imagine being so self aware, and yet being stripped of your free will?
“Am I some kind of toy?” he says. Why would you hold onto such a pathetic webtoon…?”Because why should Chul be saved when he has nothing left.
EXACTLY. He thinks he has nothing left because he is just a creation. But what he doesn’t understand is that he has created his own personality and his own destiny and that makes him something – SOMEONE – worth saving. He means something to Yeonjoo so he is human. What are we if we are not people defined by what we mean to others?
Honestly this whole scene broke my heart. I don’t care if people don’t think ‘W’ is Jongsuk’s best acting; this scene is brilliant and his quiet fury lights the scene up.
That extreme loneliness that he feels already is quadrupled to the infinite because not even his friends are real, not even his family was ever real. They don’t have days when he is not there, the radio show doesn’t broadcast any news that is not relevant to him. The police obeys him because he is the main character, he owns riches because someone wanted to draw fancy apartments to satisfy his own aesthetic greed. He owns nothing. He is no one but a figment of fantasy.
Now this girl tells him that she wants him to be something else – what else can he think but that she wants him to satisfy her, but only in her own way? He thinks she wants romance to make up for the lack of it in her life, he thinks she doesn’t want him or even care who he is, she will just make him into some Jack Sue character. He turns from a black-suit revenge-seeking killer, into a beige-cardigan wearing romantic hero. But this is still not him. There will never be him. He can never escape.
What about for her? Her heart is shattered too because what he is saying is not wrong… she did create him to fall in love with when she was young. But the Chul she loves now is the real one – she really loves him but feels that she may have done something irrevocable to hurt him.
It just hurts so good – a scene where both of them come from places that make sense but you really want them to get over it and be happy together.
