What we should ALL be talking about

I want to talk about this drama with someone so badly!

When I saw the trailer I wasn't sure if I would like or watch this drama, but I'm so glad I am. The sex scenes are so well placed and tastefully done. The last scene in episode 4 is a MASTER class in the female gaze. I felt like I was watching a truly intimate and life changing moment instead of just a sex scene, if that makes any sense.

The story follows two women, one (Hee Jae) who is waking up from a five year loveless relationship and another (Min Na) who is not chasing love but sex. The two women are charged with hosting a podcast on sex in which they share topics and views with thier audience.

I love the premise, I believe you have to be a person coming out of a long term relationship or a person who has been in a long term relationship to truly empathize and understand how Hee Jae feels when she realizes her relationship has been one-sided and how selfish her partner was. For Min Na, I love the portrayal of a woman taking charge of her sex life and going after what and who she wants in a safe manner. I also like how the author, In Chan, talks about sex in the age of social distancing and how as human beings we long for touch.

As of this writing, I've only watched up to episode 4 but I'm hoping they continue to push the subject of healthy sex between couples and partners and to show that sex isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Update as of Episode 5 & 6:
Ok, I love this drama! The male leads are walking green flags.

Hee Jae chasing In Chan to be FWB (Friends with Benefits) is so adorably cringy. I like the role reversal where the man wants to fall in love and not just have sex. In Chan is genuinely showing Hee Jae that he wants to date her and fall in love not just have sex with her.

Min Na falling for Dr. Cha is unexpectedly cute. Her backstory was heartbreaking.

I dare say this drama is turning into a healing drama.

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Intimate Relationships Are A Spectrum

Japanese BL writers are often fantastic at portraying life situations in a raw and realistically human way. As humans we are complicated and emotionally messy. We have dark sides and traumas that shape how we pursue romantic relationships and affection. In my opinion, rarely do we see media portrayal of a BDSM relationship in such an intimate and relatable way.

We’re introduced to Mizuki and Yoh’s relationship from Yoh’s perspective. From the beginning, according to Yoh, we believe Mizuki is quiet, domineering and unkind to Yoh completely unprovoked and without context. As the viewer, we’re led to think Yoh is a domestic sexual slave in Mizuki’s home with no other options in life, outside of his own free will. As we continue the series, we learn that Yoh seems to like the dynamic of thier relationship and often resorts to pouting and childish behavior when Mizuki doesn’t show him the kind of dominating attention he craves. He often provokes Mizuki’s jealously and possessiveness so he can be the “victim” of Mizuki’s gentle yet “cruel” behavior. Mizuki seems to understand this dark side of Yoh and he happily grants Yoh’s wishes. Even cooking and caring for him when Yoh loses his job and falls into a state of depression.

While reeling at the loss of his job and his status in life, Yoh takes his provocation of Mizuki too far. On an animalistic and subconscious level, Yoh is provoking Mizuki to find out how much he cares for him. As a result, Mizuki’s jealously rages and he resorts to stalking and possessive behaviors, to bring Yoh back to his side, even though Yoh never considers leaving him. Since the two never clearly communicate thier feelings or emotions, they often run with negative and exaggerated interpretations of benign day-to-day situations. When Mizuki finally reveals his true feelings and tells Yoh he cannot breath without him, Yoh revels in this revelation but still doesn’t verbally reciprocate his feelings to Mizuki.

I personally love the push and pull by Yoh and Mizuki in this series. Yoh and Mizuki have a codependent relationship that makes them both happy and anxious, simultaneously. They know how to press each other’s buttons and it all seems to be, at least from Yoh’s side, for the sake of sexual gratification and arousal. Are they communicating in a healthy way, no, is the relationship kind of toxic, yes, but is it a realistic slice of life, absolutely. It’s obvious that they love and care for one another, but they show it in a way that differs from what society deems as “normal”. BUT they also require what we all want in a long term relationship, reassurance and stability. After 4 months living together, I believe we, the viewer, are meeting them at a pivotal moment in thier relationship. Will they give each other the emotional and verbal reassurance they need to sustain a long term relationship or will thier relationship crumble under misunderstandings due to lack of emotional transparency.

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The Warm Accepting Hug We All Crave

I loved the manga and I just can't stop watching the first two episodes. My rating may change later.

What I Like So Far:

- Yutaka played by Inukai is too adorable. Inukai is really a man of 1000 faces. He's so gentle and kind you just want to protect him from any harm.

- The subtle glances Yutaka makes at Minoru, the way Tane clings and adores him, and the way the father welcomes him with open arms just feels like the warm accepting hug he's wanted and deserved his entire life. Like the rest of us, Yutaka wants to hear that he is enough and to feel wanted.

- I like Iijima as Minoru. At first I wasn't sure, but the more I watch, the more I appreciate his subtle portrayal of a lost 23 year old who just wants to do what's best for his family after the passing of his mother. The scenes where he is arguing with Tane are so natural and real I almost forgot it was a show and not a reality TV show.


******SPOILERS*******

What I'm looking forward to:

- I'm looking forward to the scene where Yutaka runs into his brother.
- The manga author already acknowledged the lack of romance in the original story. I wonder if the show writers and directors will take any liberties there.
- Looking forward to the holiday scenes.

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