This review may contain spoilers
This is a perfect, sexy, problematic romance that skirts the line but redeems itself by the end.
(a discussion of red flags at the end)
If you've worked a high powered career in a big city, you can immediately appreciate how well this show was put together. Both in terms of the career setting and the relationship. From portraying the highs of feeling so lucky and chosen, (that one slo mo scene with the hands from the elevator to the parking garage! ), to the lows of feeling like an embarrassing, dirty little secret.
This is a relationship between adults, it's quite 'lived in', physically and emotionally which is really rare. Luke embodies an entitled, attractive man at the top of his game. Flora goes from naive and enthusiastic to a competent force to be reckoned with was the harder part, and well done.
The 'flip' where the power imbalance between Luke and Flora starts to switch, doesn't happen all at once. Unlike some dramas, where it takes to the 3/4 mark before the hero cracks, here the hero cracks slightly every few episodes, creating an addictive urge to keep watching as you know just another break, another show of strong emotion is just around the corner.
The clothing, cars, and scenery were all great, the music and OST was better than most, I just really am impressed.
---
On red flags:
Luke and Flora are both adults when they meet, and they both have had a relationship history. But, in every other way this is a problematic, power imbalance relationship with some troubling dynamics:
- Luke holds the power over Flora's career, and in general he structurally has a lot more privilege than her (he's older, well established in Beijing, wealthy).
- Luke exploits the structural power imbalance when he's feeling insecure in the relationship. He will become condescending or even use their work together to try and 'feel on top' again.
- Luke insults and uses demeaning language towards Flora on a couple of occasions calling her cheap etc. in retaliation for her not doing what he wants
It's the power + control dynamic PLUS a pattern of harmful behaviour that = a toxic, abusive relationship. And this one does cross that line a couple of times. Illustrating why they need to break up.
As the years go on, Flora also tries to emotionally lash back out at Luke. She also tries to hide anything from him that's too sensitive or vulnerable not trusting him to react well or helpfully. But she doesn't have the same obsession with power + control, and she tends to not try to insult or demean Luke directly.
----
Does these abusive and/or toxic dynamics, mean that Luke is a lost cause?
Yes, they needed to break up. By keeping the same destructive dynamic going for 6 years, that was years down the drain and it wasn't going to get any better. Flora needed to leave and seek her independence and figure out who she was without Luke. Luke needed to sort out if he could be vulnerable and approach a relationship as equals instead of trying to dominate the dynamics.
Most men like this can't turn it around after the break up. Their need for power and control keeps them from changing, from truly having a safe, warm equal type relationship. They tend to get more obsessive, more dominating, meaner and crueler as the years go on.
Is it dangerous to depict something that rarely happens in real life? I think in this case the drama puts the roadmap to evaluating the recovery . . . Luke apologises and makes amends, he comes to her home turf and lets her call the shots, he's able to be vulnerable, and he does it for a long period of time etc. So I think it works here, it didn't make me want to turn it off.
(a discussion of red flags at the end)
If you've worked a high powered career in a big city, you can immediately appreciate how well this show was put together. Both in terms of the career setting and the relationship. From portraying the highs of feeling so lucky and chosen, (that one slo mo scene with the hands from the elevator to the parking garage! ), to the lows of feeling like an embarrassing, dirty little secret.
This is a relationship between adults, it's quite 'lived in', physically and emotionally which is really rare. Luke embodies an entitled, attractive man at the top of his game. Flora goes from naive and enthusiastic to a competent force to be reckoned with was the harder part, and well done.
The 'flip' where the power imbalance between Luke and Flora starts to switch, doesn't happen all at once. Unlike some dramas, where it takes to the 3/4 mark before the hero cracks, here the hero cracks slightly every few episodes, creating an addictive urge to keep watching as you know just another break, another show of strong emotion is just around the corner.
The clothing, cars, and scenery were all great, the music and OST was better than most, I just really am impressed.
---
On red flags:
Luke and Flora are both adults when they meet, and they both have had a relationship history. But, in every other way this is a problematic, power imbalance relationship with some troubling dynamics:
- Luke holds the power over Flora's career, and in general he structurally has a lot more privilege than her (he's older, well established in Beijing, wealthy).
- Luke exploits the structural power imbalance when he's feeling insecure in the relationship. He will become condescending or even use their work together to try and 'feel on top' again.
- Luke insults and uses demeaning language towards Flora on a couple of occasions calling her cheap etc. in retaliation for her not doing what he wants
It's the power + control dynamic PLUS a pattern of harmful behaviour that = a toxic, abusive relationship. And this one does cross that line a couple of times. Illustrating why they need to break up.
As the years go on, Flora also tries to emotionally lash back out at Luke. She also tries to hide anything from him that's too sensitive or vulnerable not trusting him to react well or helpfully. But she doesn't have the same obsession with power + control, and she tends to not try to insult or demean Luke directly.
----
Does these abusive and/or toxic dynamics, mean that Luke is a lost cause?
Yes, they needed to break up. By keeping the same destructive dynamic going for 6 years, that was years down the drain and it wasn't going to get any better. Flora needed to leave and seek her independence and figure out who she was without Luke. Luke needed to sort out if he could be vulnerable and approach a relationship as equals instead of trying to dominate the dynamics.
Most men like this can't turn it around after the break up. Their need for power and control keeps them from changing, from truly having a safe, warm equal type relationship. They tend to get more obsessive, more dominating, meaner and crueler as the years go on.
Is it dangerous to depict something that rarely happens in real life? I think in this case the drama puts the roadmap to evaluating the recovery . . . Luke apologises and makes amends, he comes to her home turf and lets her call the shots, he's able to be vulnerable, and he does it for a long period of time etc. So I think it works here, it didn't make me want to turn it off.
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