UnaSpenser

Ep 29 and I'm just hating him.

Before I begin, I will note that this is one of the rare dramas in a contemporary setting that I watched all the way through. It is beautifully filmed and the acting is all so good. Thoroughly enjoyed the support cast.

This is an interesting study in emotional complexity. People with self-affirmation in some ways and insecurities in others.

What struck me early on was how she set all the rules or the relationship. He approached her for a standard, "let's try a relationship." He was willing to be public about it. She had her [valid] reasons for wanting it to be secret; and for setting rules such as "only on Fridays."

He agreed to everything she wanted. This was a good balance to what otherwise might have felt like an inappropriate relationship due to power differences. He's her boss, he's older, he's wealthy, he's already successful with a lot of connections, and he's wealthy. All opposite of her. So, it was good that she had the wherewithal to make demands and he agreed to them.

At a certain point though, she seemed to forget that she was getting exactly what she asked for. Always suspicious of him. She always assumed the worst first and only after he realized what she was upset about did he have a chance to clarify. She also never reached out to him when he was struggling with anything in her personal life. She was the one who kept the relationship at arm's length, yet, in the end, she was accusing him of having no respect for her. That bit kinda floored me. Though, I get it. People are complicated and emotions aren't necessarily logical.

One thing I didn't get: having grown up with loving parents, why was she unable to recognize the love coming from him? Or her own feelings? Did I miss something about her background which would explain why she was so disconnected emotionally?

The other thing that really caught me off guard was the sudden emotional darkness of the housemate. That story arc seemed to go from standard "support character with unrequited feelings" to the most extreme friend trauma in no time flat. I've lost friends over the decades. It has never gone down like that - with the exception of a case caused by medication. So, to me, it felt a bit forced. Maybe there is more of a slow build in the book.

I will say that her not telling the boyfriend she's been with for years about such absolutely overwhelming experience was shocking to me. It's the kind of thing you tell even your workmates, because you can't hide that you're in shock and grief. But she doesn't tell him? All the things she doesn't tell him..... my gawd. Why didn't she know how to be in a relationship. I really don't get that aspect of her character.

He also had problems with how to be in a relationship. The difference for the viewer is that we knew exactly why. And he was struggling with it and trying to be better. We never get the sense that she feels that she is sabotaging the relationship with her stuff.

Also, though he is harsh in words at time, every single thing he ever does is loving and caring. I'm not sure how anyone would miss that. Personally, I would not put up with his harshness in the first place. It would be a huge red flag for me. But, she seemed to get that he was actually kind; except when she was having emotions. Then, she forgot everything she had experienced of him and saw him in the worst possible light.

Kind of interesting to have a story where she is the one gaslighting, in a way. "I never felt anything for you." She tries to convince him that what he experienced of her is his own delusion. Meanwhile, she is the one being somewhat delusional about her perception of him.

I'm glad they figured it out, but, sheesh, what a ride?! A compelling one, though.

just no.

in ep 21. Her persistent lack of consideration for his feelings has worn on me. They've been together for years and she still does these hurtful things. I'm surprised he's hung in there with her.

Also, I kinda had a flicker of hope that when he resigned, it would be for real and they could leave the boss/subordinate relationship behind. It was actually kinda disturbing when she was begging him to come back and be her boss; as if she prefers that relationship to the personal one.

I have very mixed feelings about these two as a couple.

is this an adaptation of Addicted? By episode 3, the story line felt very familiar. ;-)

Thank you. Do we know why it is the boot?

oh, I guess maybe 5 families? When we include the almost-retired police officer and the Cultural Center/English recitation teacher.

So many different dynamics interwoven into a story where we watch a girl who is first mistreated by family, then nearly killed by a bully, then survives via attachment to an outlier, then becomes central to solving another, more horrifying crime, then goes on to get the acknowledgement she needed and to pursue her dreams.

It is notable that had she not been attacked and left for dead, she probably would never have been able to live the life she wanted. But hitting literal rock bottom and climbing back out transformed both her and her possibilities.

I definitely saw it as a suspense drama.

What I like about the stories of the different characters was that it showed why and how people did or did not get involved in the crimes themselves or the solving of them.

The story clearly depicted how the police aren't super heroes and can only do so much to solve a crime without community involvement. The way the two crimes became entangled was so well done. And the way that the case of realizing that the girl was missing and then figuring out whether she was alive and then how to find her was such an interesting weave of the threads of different people's lives.

It really wasn't a story about her family. It was story about a community. The various dynamics going on - political power played out with police involvement and school staff involvement; bullying dynamic in school; the three different family dynamics, with differing types of abusive fathers and the three different ways the wives interacted with that. and the three different impacts on the children.

It was an "it takes a village to solve these crimes" story. I found it very effective.

Ok. I am confused. Have only finished one episode. Hoping someone can explain to me why the boot has an entity in and why he seems to have access to advanced technology. Or is that supposed to just be magic?

I disagree about focusing on her family. What more were we going to see of them? Maybe the mom continuing to feel tormented and the dad almost feeling guilty. But, they made their choice and their story became mundane after that, with nothing at all to contribute to the plot or any character development.

Absolutely captivating story. Hard to watch at times, but compelling to finish. And so uniquely Chinese, as the protagonist's story could not have played out the same way, for the same reasons, anywhere else.

and, omfg, right up to the end he is going to patronizingly leave her unaware of the danger she's in? she's an adult. this weird thing that these dramas do where a "caring" person takes away someone else's agency by not informing them such that they can make wise decisions for themselves is insulting. Who does that? And, especially after everything they've already been through.

I absolutely hate these writers. They need to find another profession.

Seriously?

That has to be the lamest motivation for crimes that I've ever seen? And two people willing to collude to commit violent crimes and corruption, while jeopardizing medicine for that same motivation?

What a waste of a watch. Sound and fury signifying nothing.

At ep14, now. I have a sneaking suspicion that I know who the villain is. Did those pretty fingers give it away?

I agree that it's better that it's not about romance. I wasn't making my commentary about a romantic dynamic. It was about any dynamic. Everything feels unnatural, between the sets and the dubbing, things and characters don't feel connected.

I am interested in her character's story and she's a great actress, so I'l l probably just enjoy seeing what her character goes through. It's simply not as engrossing as other times I've seen her, because everything around her feels off.

I actually prefer it to be not romance. I enjoy her character for her own journey. It wasn't romantic dynamic I was missing. Somehow, everything feels disconnected. Between odd sets and the dubbing, things don't feel at all natural.

What I meant by my age comment is that I really adore this actress, yet, somehow, with the styling, they made her look older than she is in real life. That is confusing, since her character is supposed to younger than his.

Totally agree there. She's a fabulous actress. She's why I'm watching. This wasn't meant to dismiss her. What I was saying is that, whatever they did with her styling makes her appear much older than him and that's confusing, since, in the story, she's supposed to be younger. I don't care about their actual ages (as long as they're both adults.)

I didn't mean actual ages. I meant how they looked. I don't know what they did with her makeup here, but she looks older than she really is.

how misogynist of you. A "yin principle". Right. Just say you think that women should be your patriarchal definition of "feminine."

I'm in ep 4 and something just feels off with the production. I feel as if I'm watching a stage play rather than drama/film. The sets simply don't seem real and everything feels contrived, even the dialogue. It all feels a bit wooden with no real dynamic connections between anyone other than maybe the FL and her friend. Is it all just moving too fast? Why am I struggling to be pulled in by it?

Also, is the FL supposed to be younger than the ML? She looks much older, as if she could be his aunt. This is confusing me.