this is too intense for my heart

i dont even know how to atart this i mean its way too many emotions in just one episode, everytime i thought things were getting calm another bomb was dropped...first chay giving up on college broke my heart, to know that he just gave up on his dream because he's so indescribably sad it's tearung my heart apart. also him deciding to throw care away and do (bad) things he never did before its so dumb and yet so appropriate for what he's feeling rn i cant even be mad at him, and as much as i am mad at kim for breaking chay's heart i know he still cares so much about him, the way he reacted when his friend told him that porchay didnt go to the interview and how mad he was when he saw that porchay was putting himself in danger by drinking with people he doesn't know and almost doing drugs proves that, i just hope that he would be more open with his feelings so he doesnt have to come up save chay from dying everytime and just tell him he loves him.then we have vegaspete,,,,, WHERE TO BEGINthe whole situation with those two is so messy but idk i still like them together even tho i shouldn't, pete coming back for vegas because he was sad even tho he could've scaped and vegas opening up to pete more and more everytime,,,, and then there's THE SCENE,,, i dont even have words for it except that bible and build knew what they where doing when they said that we should prepare our hearts and inhalers for this episode.and then we have kinnporsche, EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL WHY CANT THEY JUST BE HAPPY. i cant even get that mad at kinn for tricking porsche into being his bodyguard like come on look at all the stuff that happened between them in the begging, how porsche didnt figure that out himself i dont know, but i enjoyed the way they talked about it and also kinn looks really sorry about everything he did. talking about kinn, everything this man does in this episode screams love. the way he looks at porsche, the way he tries to hold him when he's feeling mad or anxious, conforting him when hes sad, confronting his own father by saying that he took it too far with porsche even tho that man clearly intimidates him, to taking porsche to where they met and introducing himself again so they can start all over. i love it. i have no idea what the whole thing with kinn's father and porsche's parents is but i have a strong feeling that they won't be in their peace bubble for long. as. freaking. usual.

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