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Naomi Necro

United States

Naomi Necro

United States
Before We Get Married taiwanese drama review
Completed
Before We Get Married
3 people found this review helpful
by Naomi Necro
Jul 8, 2022
13 of 13 episodes seen
Completed
Overall 9.0
Story 8.0
Acting/Cast 9.0
Music 8.5
Rewatch Value 6.0
This review may contain spoilers

a mature lens into complicated relationships and real people.

No character in this drama is black and white. They've got layers to peel back, revealing complex reasoning behind outwardly simple acts. Chu Kehuan is a character who immediately drew me in. I was curious about his intentions, his reasoning, and his backstory. He's introduced as an aloof figure who repeatedly imposes his presence on Weiwei with childish pranks and flamboyant flirting, but the realities behind his actions are anything but.

The drama focuses on 3 relationships.

Chu Kehuan & Ziyuan:
One relationship has long detached from its root, swaying in an indifferent, icy cold breeze. Physical affections ended long ago, they sleep in separate rooms, and their interactions are largely transactional as Ziyuan overcompensates his lack of warmth with expensive daily purchases and micromanages every aspect of his life without his consent. It's formidably suffocating, and he subverts his lack of control in his relationship by imposing himself into Weiwei's life over and over. He seems trapped within this loveless relationship because of his obligations to his girlfriend's late mother and perhaps because he doesn't want to hurt Ziyuan. Ziyuan's despair is barely concealed behind disingenuous smiles and eyes that seem always to have a tearful gloss. She convinces herself that their relationship is normal. At the same time, she imposes her controlling behavior on Chu Kehuan "all for his good," and her often delusional behavior is both toxic (to herself and Kehuan) and sad. It gets to a point fairly early where it becomes alarming to witness. She forces herself into his life, disrespects all of his personal and professional boundaries even when he explicitly says no, and she encroaches into his career, his work connections, and even his friendships. It gets to a point where it feels like blackmail for him because her involvement has entangled into his life so intrinsically that his career isn't guaranteed if he leaves her. "Remember, without her; you wouldn't be who you are today."

Wei Wei & Li Haoyi:
The other relationship is also largely transactional. It consists of lists and endless boxes to check without passion or sincerity. Li Haoyi is gentle, dependable, goal-driven, earnest, and p r e d i c t a b l e to a fault. A life of hardship and scrounging for money has burdened him with a carefully curated and budget-driven future. Despite his obvious love for Weiwei, he has blinders on their 65-year retirement plan that prevents him from appreciating her or what they have in the present. He takes Weiwei for granted, even as he's convinced their every step is toward a mutually happy future. In other words, he does not see the forest for the trees. I do pity his naivety, especially because he's not incapable of flexibility; it just takes him *a lot longer* to get to a place where he's willing to modify his carefully laid out plan, and Weiwei is exhausted from his rigidity and lack of spontaneously in their relationship (it's not Saturday!). He prioritizes responsibilities and other aspects of their life, but not their relationship or Weiwei as a partner. I didn't like his character arc near the end. It got a little too....tropey? He went from a fairly reasonable but selfish person to an over-the-top type of evil caricature, and I'm not sure it made sense.

Chu Kehuan & Weiwei:
Chu Kehuans entrance into Weiwei's life has cracked every barely patched-over facade of perfection and normalcy in either relationship. They shake the foundations laid through years of complacency and familiarity. I think it does a disservice to the realities of their situations to say that Chu Kehuan is responsible for being a "home-wrecker" in Weiwei's relationship. Neither relationship has been healthy for a long time, and they use different mechanisms to supplement or substitute the missing elements. Chu Kehuan is self-assured from the start. Every step taken is a set toward Weiwei. Weiwei takes much longer to get there, but she also has much more to lose. I would have liked to see Chu Kehuan emotionally lose it at least once. Tears and not just forlorn stares and wallowing. I would have also liked more of their story after meeting again, although I don't mind the ending and their positive outlook.

The drama takes its time with each relationship. Like, an extraordinaryyyyyy length of time. Nothing is rushed (made me a bit impatient and frustrated at times, especially with Weiwei's denial), but it makes the big turning points more effective and packs a bigger punch when they finally get their moment to land. The sexual tension is undeniable between Weiwei and Chu Kehuan. Still, the changes and growth they enable in each other ultimately catalyze them to face each other (and themselves) honestly and openly.

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