AH

"Why did XL’s heart hurt? Was it because of his own feelings or XY’s pain? Still don’t really know how this works lol - cuhs she can’t feel his pain (how is he in control)?"

In the novel the connection runs both ways. XL and XY's lives and hearts are connected. Under normal circumstances, they would be able to feel each other's pain, emotions and heartbeats. But XL has much higher spiritual power than XY, so he can control the connection. Only he feels XY's pain, emotions and heartbeats. Except for a few rare occasions where he intentionally makes her feel something (a fast heartbeat or a sharp heartache) and a few rare occasions where he slips and XY is able to sense his heartbeat speeding up.

The drama seems to be similar. In the scene you mentioned, it seemed like XL intentionally caused XY's heart to ache more painfully or to speed up. Note: when this happens in the novel, XY assumes XL is causing it. But it's possible that her own heart was aching or her own heartbeat was speeding up, and she wrongly blamed XL. If it was XL's doing, he could already feel the heartache she was experiencing when she looked at TSJ. It seems like he intentionally orchestrated a moment for them to be close. He must still believe that TSJ is the person XY should end up with at that point, despite the current circumstances.

Afterwards, he offers to take XY away in order to distract her from her heartache (which, again, he could directly feel).

Will she know that she can breathe under water because of XL's blood? In the novel, the answer is yes. For the drama, I haven't watched that episode yet, so I don't know the answer.

In the novel, XY and TSJ learn more about the poisonous bugs when they visit the Voodoo King in chapter 37 (a few chapters after XY's wedding ceremony with FL is cut short). TSJ also learns some disturbing information about poisonous bugs in general (not just the love / couple type) through his grandmother, but I heard that was cut out of the episodes that just aired.

In terms of when did TSJ know about XY and XL's connection, I can't recall exactly. XY talked to TSJ about the poisonous bug when she first planted it in ZX (and XL overheard), but I don't remember when she told TSJ about transferring it to XL. TSJ is smart enough that he might have inferred it pretty early on even if XY didn't talk to him about it until later.

In the novel, there is a point where XY begins to be able to hear but still appears to be unconscious to XL, except that "there was this aura around her brows that was different". That makes him think about her fear of being lonely, so he starts to speak to her and takes her to the surface to "observe" (even though she is not fully conscious and not able to move or open her eyes) the moon with him. But that doesn't take place right before the final healing session.

The novel doesn't say that there is anything different about XY before the final healing session when XL decides to wake her up. The timing seems to be based on the fact that TSJ is close to death.

It plays out differently in the novel, so unfortunately we can't draw on the text to provide more information.

I went to rewatch episode 12 for XL's expressions (I think this might be the episode where he is at his softest and happiest - totally understandable that XY chooses this episode to record a memory of XL in her mirror), and found a rather pleasing parallel.

The spot in XL's clam shell where XL delivered his essential blood from his heart to XY to heal her for 37 years is the same spot where XL and XY sit when XL accepts the transfer of ZX's poisonous bug into his heart. In episode 12, XL offers up his heart (tying it to XY for life, with no chance to take it back) by accepting the bug into his heart. In episode 31 and 32, in the very same spot, XL gives XY one of his lives and siphons his essential blood from his heart to save her life.

Quite the mirroring of scenes.

Yes.

Thank you!

At this point XL is actively working towards ensuring that XY and TSJ end up together so that XY has someone that she can rely on for life (while XL ultimately wants to die on the battlefield, after making sure that XY's happy ending is secure). He is hiding his feelings for her and won't let her develop deeper feelings for him.

The scene is also an obvious parallel to their earlier underwater not-kiss, where XL offered to give XY air via a kiss and was hurt when she preferred to risk drowning. This time, XY is willing to kiss XL for air rather than drown (by extension - she is no longer bound by her promise to TSJ and she no longer thinks the risk of accidentally letting XL into her dreams is scarier than death), but he is the one to refuse her, and she is the one who is hurt and embarrassed.

It underscores how the dynamic between them has shifted. XY is the one whose longing prompts her to occasionally approach the red line between them, and XL is the one who cuts her off and pushes her back. Not because he doesn't have feelings for her or because he is trying to protect his heart (the way XY was trying to protect her heart before), but because he wants to protect XY's heart. He doesn't want her to fall for him. He wants her to end up with a man she can rely on for life (TSJ) rather than a man who is destined to die on the battlefield.

Edit: I disagree with most of Naz_o6's interpretation, but it is correct that XL knew that XY could breathe under water at that point, and XY didn't. In that scene, XL was also nervous about XY finding out about how his blood changed her. He thought she might hate him for turning her into a monster.

The poisonous bug is something XL chooses, fully knowing what it means. He saw an opportunity to protect XY's life with his own and he took it. He was "heart and soul willing" (to quote XL's own words in chapter 48 of the novel - when he is saving her from the dead for a second time) to choose a fate where, if he is alive, XY is alive, and if XY dies, he dies. A fate where if XY is on the brink of death, he will have the ability to save her with one of his own lives and his essential blood. Forgetting the poisonous bug would require forgetting everything about XL's relationship with XY.

I am resisting the urge to go into a long rant about why, but I'll just say I disagree with "XL can live without XY". XL can die without XY (especially if he has successfully done all the things he wanted to do for her first) but (both literally and figuratively) he cannot live in a world without XY. He'll give up his own life first to prevent it.

I'm sure every reader and watcher has a slightly (or significantly) different interpretation.

In my view, XY has a soft spot for TSJ immediately due to his noble fortitude and ability to retain his kindness and goodness through unspeakable suffering. But when his behaviour (and later his promises) begin to create expectations, XY feels vulnerable and afraid. In her experience, those types of expectations lead to the worst kind of pain (deep and lasting emotional pain that she fears far more than physical pain). So XY constantly tries to guard her heart against those expectations and feelings. TSJ has the difficult task (but a task that he is very willing to take on) of being so consistently committed to XY that he can overcome her walls and fears of abandonment. There are times when XY wants to accept TSJ's feelings, but her insecurities don't let her. There are other times where she musters her courage and decides to trust TSJ despite her fears. From very early on, XY is aware that TSJ is her best chance at lasting happiness. But to her, it's not a sure thing. People can change, and life is messy. And yet, decade after decade, out of all her suitors, he is the most straightforward and consistent in professing his feelings, and he is ultimately able to choose her over everything else (even life itself). Which is the one thing she feels is essential to have in a life partner. Also, XY and TSJ are opposites in the sense that XY's trauma pushes her to feel she must be self-reliant, and to heal she needs constant reassurance of commitment. While TSJ was utterly dehumanized. His trauma causes him to anchor his identity to XY and to cling to her no matter what. Which is exactly what XY needs. Unfortunately, his family matters get in the way for a long time.

And then for XL, XY identifies deeply with him very early on. They are both intensely lonely, and also very choosy about who they keep as company (the novel says this explicitly about XY). They very quickly develop an understanding and a rapport where they can joke, tease and torment each other in their own odd ways. But they can also talk about loneliness and their past and present tragedies with each other more easily than with anyone else. They can delight in a swimming race and appreciate the beauty of the full moon together. And because XY knows from the get-go they are not destined to ever be together (because of their respective identities, but also their personalities) she can safely be more vulnerable with XL because there is no possibility of creating the type of expectations that TSJ creates. And (at least early on in their relationship) if there is ever a risk that an expectation might be created (e.g., by willingly kissing him under water), she draws a line and protects her heart. So their relationship is only a temporary means of alleviating their loneliness, and not a promise of more. They know it, so there shouldn't be deep pain when they part. But somehow XL becomes a recurrence in XY's life. His life is bound to hers through the poisonous bug. Later, he appears in a very different persona - one who can be her true companion for 10+ years. He becomes a person who spends time enjoying the most wonderful and beautiful aspects of life with her, and distracting her when those dreaded moments of emotional pain arrive. A person who spends 37 years saving her life. But it is always only one side of him. Always temporary. Eventually, he will always put his armour back on and become the Nine Lives general again. Over and over and over again, she finds herself wishing he could just be the one and not the other. If only he could always be her companion, and not the enemy general. But he can't, and they both know it. And because XL doesn't want his ending to destroy XY, he resolves to make sure she ends up with someone else who can give her a happier ending. So XL manages their relationship and eventually starts to tell her, again and again, that the their relationship is, and always has been, merely transactional. And although she can't fully let go of her longing for that companionship they shared, this matches her expectations of people (due to her abandonment issues) so she believes it. And finally (largely thanks to XL) TSJ gets to a place where he is alive and can be the life-long companion that she wanted - putting her above everything else. So, although she mourns XL's death bitterly and will (literally) always carry him as part of herself, in the end, XY gets to a place where she no longer needs her temporary companion.

Also, I don't think XY's love for TSJ comes from pity (as some others have put it). There's compassion for sure. But also respect. Even when TSJ's gentleness ends up causing her pain, to use her own words, XY likes that TSJ is gentle. His gentleness means that she can't play as fiercely with him as she does with XL, but it eventually allows her to let her guard down more completely. He is gentle and sweet, and their ending is too.

This is true in the drama, but it's a little different in the novel. XY does not know XL commissioned the bow in the novel.

He goes through a bunch of elaborate steps to make sure she doesn't know it was him who commissioned it (hiding his identity, pretending to be from another clan, pretending he no longer wants the bow for himself as soon as XY tries to commission her own bow, making it completely unappealing and unusable to other people because the bow's master must consume XL's blood, etc.). Or he at least gets the weapons master who created it to spin an elaborate lie to fool XY.

And XY doesn't need to approach XL in order to gain control of her bow. XL's blood has already been transfused into her on every full moon for 37 years. The bow bites into her arm and immediately recognizes her. Only she can wield it.

The other thing with the timing is that XY didn't have a bow with her when she was assassinated. I can't remember if she had a different weapon with her in the novel, but in the drama she only had a knife. So she wasn't able to use the archery that XL painstakingly taught her for 10 years to protect herself. With that in mind, as soon as he was able to, XL commissioned a special bow for her that could be kept inside her arm. So she would never again be in a situation where she didn't have it with her.

If XL instead commissioned the bow for her way before the assassination, that special feature of the bow doesn't have the same level of meaning.

In the novel she does not know.

I haven't seen the episode yet, but in the novel she really doesn't know.

The scene when XL (as FFB) meets XY on the stairs after her resurrection reminds me... in the novel XY and XL both constantly mask their pain or unpleasant feelings with a smile or a laugh. When they put on a smile, it is more often masking deep heartache than reflecting anything like happiness. Everything about their demeanour and body language in this scene hurts, but XL's smile especially so. Even more so since he doesn't put it on until XY turns to look at him. And we also know that through the whole scene XL can feel every shift in her emotions, every clench and beat of her heart. When he calls her name. When she recognizes his voice. When she recalls ZX's words. When she clenches her sleeve and steels herself before turning to look at him. And when he mentions TSJ. I thought I was emotionally prepared after reading the novel, but that was addictingly painful.

That's fair. I liked that XY was able to kill the beasts that initially came after her without any help. But without a bow she was pretty vulnerable after that.

YW :)