38sai Batsuichi Dokushin Onna ga Matching Apuri wo Yattemita Kekka Nikki (2020)

"People never change. They just become more of who they really are."

This drama's synopsis looks like a middle-aged woman's thirst diary. Is this really, though? The answer is yes and no.

Five seconds into the drama and I felt naive female protagonist who wants to have "fun" with young boys and I dropped it. It was so for like weeks until I came across "it is getting dark" comments. The thought "How dark can it get?" pulled me back to restart the drama. Translator's note of "this is based on a real story" kept me going.

Yes- The main character, Chiaki's desire, who for whatever reasons ended up being a divorcee, is relate-able as who doesn't want to have some fun companionship by going on dates and getting treated in a lady-like way. And this show doesn't end there. It is neither a fantasy genre nor "just" shows the woman's fantasies having dates with handsome guys.

No- Every action is bound by consequences; likewise, what follows is a series of abuse, violence, and (almost?) rape like situations. (I can't really put a finger at whether she is in pain or pleasure.) Several questions pop up: "Is she liking it?" "Is she a masochist?" "Why can't they take no as an answer?" "Why not stay away from all these?" Does she quit her hobby after devastating events happen? forms the rest of the story.

The ending - Hint: read the headline.

Acting is convincing, not great and the cast is suitable. Music really brings in the chills.

Rewatch value: unless you are a masochist, it isn't worth the pain to watch it again.

Final note, this drama neither shuns away from showing ill consequences of dating app nor does it offer any positive character growth.

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