A Few thoughts on the FL’s first relationship.

 TamzinMillemni:

This was due to racism

Mine was party due to racism as well. Even though our families have similar education backgrounds (and we met in university), the same religion, similar socio-economic level, my MIL and FIL felt I wasn't a good fit for their son because I'm not white and my Dad had been previously divorced. My FIL accepted me more readily once we were married, but my MIL took a long time.

Also, why does his mum even have the idea that he asked and she turned him down lol. That never happened.  He's so unreliable.

 bedofroses:

And he still doesn't properly shut her down. Why should she fund his problem? Like, if she wants to then it's really good on her and I respect it but she is not obliged to. What kind of entitled bullshit was that. 

We can see where he gets his entitlement from lol

 angeliviki2022:

Mine was party due to racism as well. Even though our families have similar education backgrounds (and we met in university), the same religion, similar socio-economic level, my MIL and FIL felt I wasn't a good fit for their son because I'm not white and my Dad had been previously divorced. My FIL accepted me more readily once we were married, but my MIL took a long time.

It's almost always the FIL who comes around first.

 Ree_YVR:

Someone replied to my post asking about their breakup that he broke up with her because he didn’t want to hinder her career. I’m exactly at the breakup scene now and I don’t agree. He wants someone who is reliant and dependent on him. His insecurity is so obvious.

It’s like I was saying above. I don’t think he is villainous but I do think he is selfish in an entitled way. Aside from the fact that his character doesn’t interest me (because the writers seem to be giving him a plot to make him stick around), I’m a little bothered by the framing that he and the best friend are an ideal match, which I don’t think is the case. It’s just that she’s willing to centre him. If you look at all her scenes, she does everything with him in mind. I don’t get the sense that she likes cooking just that she cooks as it’s an opportunity to spend time with him. I don’t get the sense that she even wants to hang out with her best friends but that she did so in the past to be around him. It’s not lost on me that since the ex and the FL broke up she hasn’t been hanging with them much.  Even scenes to do with her job, she’s there at the hospital mainly because of him. The scene where she is shopping she is buying clothes hoping to have a date with him. Everything she does doesn’t seem to be because she enjoys these things outside of anything to do with him. Who is she outside of him? We don’t know. It comes across that she’s doing these things because she’s infatuated with him and is trying to win him, so she is doing everything to please him and get close to him. 

Personally, I don’t think these types of relationships end well as women especially experience regret further down the line in their marriage but if it works for them; more power to them. 

I don’t have particularly strong feelings toward either of these characters just the writer’s framing of the reasons for the breakup with FL and this subsequent relationship being ‘ideal’. It feels like they are trying to sell something that isn’t what we are witnessing on screen. I’m often at odds with certain patriarchal ideals that are present in Asian dramas that come across through the writer’s ‘voice’. Especially in dramas that are supposed to be modern/progressive. 

lol, it’s kinda funny. She’s not a villain but she is a bad friend, I would say. 

 Ree_YVR:

I also got the sense that she was only hanging out with the others to be near him and get info on him. I’m only on ep 10 or so. She went running to seek him out as soon as the breakup happened! Terrible friend.

Agreed. Even as early as high school, we (girls) had an unspoken rule that you don't date your friend's ex. I mean, my best friend refused to even have a crush on my crush (total harmless crush who 90% of the girls liked because he was great looking, smart, a star athlete, plus he was a nice guy).

 angeliviki2022:

Agreed. Even as early as high school, we (girls) had an unspoken rule that you don't date your friend's ex. I mean, my best friend refused to even have a crush on my crush (total harmless crush who 90% of the girls liked because he was great looking, smart, a star athlete, plus he was a nice guy).

I think there is a bit of a grey area when it comes to dating friend’s exes. I’ve seen it done well in several dramas to the point where we as the audience are even hoping the characters of the friend and the ex will get together because they actually suit and the context (in regards to when feelings develop, when they get together, if the friend has been low-key sabotaging or hoping for a breakup etc.) was done right. Although I’m also a girl’s-code kind of girl, I appreciate that some cultures are not really like that (East Asian countries being prime examples of this), so I try to adjust my bias for certain things when watching Asian dramas. Some things I can’t jive with though. It depends on whether they are trying  to excuse really questionable behaviour and the message they are trying to send. I don’t mind bad guys or deplorable characters etc. It’s when they try to normalise it or frame it in a way that makes it seem ok that bothers me. Like they are trying to make me believe that up is down.