MyDramaList MDLv6.6
Home→ General Asia→ Devil Sister→ Show & Movie Discussions→

Age Gap/ Legitimacy of Namcha's feels for Irin

Midnight_Blue

I personally wanted to discuss this with the reason that people were throwing the word pedophile around. (Which is a word that should not be thrown around not understanding the context, which isn't the case) I don't have an issue with the 7-year age gap considering that now that they are older, they are both legally consenting adults, but this is more so when they both were in school. Of course, both of their ages are not mentioned but we know that Namcha was in High school, and Irin was in college. In Thailand the age of consent is 15 but you are an adult at 20, however they weren't doing anything sexual, so the age of consent doesn't matter. 

On the other hand, yes Namcha is a minor, but they weren't "dating" because Irin knew about their age difference, which for the most part was why she never allowed for him to talk about it since to her their relationship wasn't official due to the fact that she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Also, even the way she "broke up" with him without any reason because in her mind they weren't even together. 

I also wanted to bring up the idea that maybe Namcha isn't in love with Irin but more so infatuated/obsessed with her or the idea of her that he has in his mind simply because he was a minor during that time. This was something that a commentor had brought up, so I thought about it. Even though, we are currently two episodes in we have never seen him try to date someone else since Irin is getting married to someone else. Idk 🤷‍♀️

Quote
BunnyWinSnowball

Personally, I don't think pedophile should be used since it means being sexually attracted to children. Based on the ages that you said (Namcha in high school, Irin in college), they are both not children so that word shouldn't be applicable.

Yes, 7 age gap is acceptable. But I think @solariaum was trying to bring across the point of timing (specifically, the timing that Irin and Namcha start a relationship) and their point is valid too. They are uncomfortable with it being an adult and a maturing teenager. I don't think age of consent has anything to do with it? I think they are simply uncomfortable with the idea. :) It is perfectly fine for them to feel that way. I think you will also agree that love and relationships are all about timing (e.g., when both parties meet, when both parties are ready, etc.)

What you said about Irin is true. As one who has kept a relationship secret before, I think there are many factors in Irin's mind with age difference being one of many. Others include: Namcha being too young and Irin might have wanted him to explore his options / Irin was always around Namcha and guided him which made him think she is the only one for him so Irin doesn't want him to be restricted (because after all if you love something, you set it free) / Irin doesn't want herself or Namcha to be judged poorly by others just because they are in a relationship (in Asian societies, dating an older woman is frowned upon for a variety of reasons) / Irin might have wanted to keep it a secret because of a variety of reasons (her own family might punish Namcha, or Namcha's family turning hostile) [basically to reduce any hardships]. So, it is too early to conclude anything and we should look forward to more episodes! :D

With regards to Namcha being in love with the idea of who she is. That may be true. But I think we might have neglected the fact that Irin was also tough and strict even when they were together. So I don't really understand what the commentor was referring to when they meant Namcha's idea of Irin? Personally, I thought Irin was consistent (props to Min for acting so well!). 

Additionally, I would like to praise Win for his immaculate acting! The emotions were really well delivered! <3

edited Quote
Macy

Agree with you both about the pedophile thing. This word shouldn't be tossed around lightly. Namcha is clearly not a child at 17. I also don't think a 7 year gap is a big deal, but with him being 17 and her being 24 There's this sort-of grey area that can understandably make people uncomfortable. Usually, this is how I would also feel but like Midnight_Blue said, nothing sexual has been shown or said, I'm currently not uncomfortable with it.

Also, I don't think Namcha is in love with the "idea" of Irin. I think he's one of the few people that actually understand who she is. Tough exterior, softie inside. 

edited Quote
Greek Irene

The 7-year age gap, I honestly see no problem with. If you think about it you wouldn't think twice if a 21-year-old was dating a 28-year-old, even if you did you would brush it off easily. I'm one of those people that see little to no point in a 19-year-old being called mean names if they're dating a 17-year-old. As long as they both seem comfortable and red flags aren't found (other than the age to some people), I'm perfectly fine with the idea.

@Midnight_Blue brings up the idea of Namcha being obsessed with Irin and the idea of dating her, while  @BunnyWinSnowball and @Macy brings up the idea of Namcha just having feelings for her as he understands her. I would like to then suggest the idea of both of them being true.

Irin is very obviously Namcha's first love that ended. Even though it's puppy love he had to have something to base his feelings around which meant he truly liked Irin for herself.  This is why I see both the obsession with Irin and the actual feelings. Sure, he definitely is harbouring an obsession with her, but at the same time, he's staying true to his feelings and not giving false hope to others. 

It leaves me with confused respect for the character while at the same time going "Bro, why'd you do that."

edited Quote
solariaum

Sorry, I just wanted to jump in really quick — I don't think anyone dropped the word "pedophilia"? Unless I'm missing something. If you're looking for a specific term, it seems to be Ephebophilia, which is the attraction to "mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19"; however, it seems to only be sexual attraction, which, because Irin and Namcha's relationship was not sexual in nature, none of these terms apply. Additionally, because Win is a full-adult in real life, and doesn't look like a highschooler (if you see if high school pictures, he looks vastly different from how he looks now), I don't think its true to the scenario to call Irin any of these titles. 

However, even if the age of consent in Thailand is 15, Namcha is still a minor. The fact that he is 17 and dating a 24-year-old is mildly concerning, especially when you factor in the fact that they're neighbors and she's been around him his whole life. Honestly, if the flashbacks were just about Namcha's crush on his neighbor, and then they got together when they were adults, it wouldn't be so uncomfortable. I honestly really like age-gap dramas, it's just the minor/adult relationship that makes me not ship them. 

I also think that Irin did think they're relationship was genuine, that's why she felt it was necessary to hide it. She didn't want people to know she was dating a highschooler, because it wouldn't be socially accepted. That, in itself, says that this shouldn't be a relationship people support.

I'm still rooting for Inn! I hope that he can help her heal her heart, and that Irin can find happiness elsewhere (and that the sisters can stop fighting over a boy who acts like a dog all the time? Honestly annoying).

Anyways, I hope that cleared some of that up!

edited Quote
BunnyWinSnowball

It was user @HannahBanana that used the term pedophilia. Additionally, there could be a huge misunderstanding on their part since they stated "14 year old messing with a 7 year is a big NONO LOL".

True, sometimes timing plays a huge role in relationships.

Quote
GRRTT

If be clear i remember flashback when she dating him in school uniform. it`s mean whey start dating in school. don't see nothing evil when two schoolers date
if you wanna talk about "pedofille" should remember Lovey-Dovey, when high schooler falles 10years old girl and after 8 years stalking begin chasing, her when she still be in school

Quote
solariaum
 GRRTT:

If be clear i remember flashback when she dating him in school uniform. it`s mean whey start dating in school. don't see nothing evil when two schoolers date
if you wanna talk about "pedofille" should remember Lovey-Dovey, when high schooler falles 10years old girl and after 8 years stalking begin chasing, her when she still be in school 

I haven’t seen Lovey-Dovey, but I do know Irin was in college, while Namcha was a minor. 🤷‍♀️ Just makes me uncomfortable 

Quote

Recent Discussions

Hottest Discussions