They are correct that forgiveness benefit the guilty and/or the wronged. It lifts the burden off your soul.
Forgiveness is not about reconciliation or dropping a court case. This is what most people misunderstood throughout the centuries, and thus, often end up not forgiving anyone and living with the destructive burden of hatred and bitterness, changing them for the worse.
- For the guilty: learn to ask for genuine forgiveness. Otherwise, it will haunt you forever.
- For the wronged: learn to forgive even if they don't ask for it. This is to save yourself from a life of hatred and bitterness.
You see:
- For the guilty, if they asked for genuine forgiveness, it frees them. No matter how much the wronged “prays” that they suffer in hell, the guilty will not. Sure, they might suffer in prison, but deep inside, they're free.
- For the wronged, if you don't forgive even if you think the guilty's apology was fake, it will change you for the worse. You live the rest of your life in hatred and bitterness. You'll start to become “negative” or “pessimistic”. If you see something that is slightly connected to your case, it will trigger a litany of curses from you, that will make your day bad, and the people around you affected.
The guilty knows it is not their problem if their apology was not accepted or not. In fact, even if they were not genuine about it, they'll take it, and it does free them in _some_ way, not completely.
Meanwhile, the wronged was led to believe by society that you shouldn't forgive anyone who wronged you so they will suffer in hell. In truth, the wronged is the one who often ends up suffering in hell.
So… take it and free yourself. If the guilty asks for forgiveness, take it. It doesn't matter if it was genuine or for show, just take it and move on. This is the only way you can TRULY cut yourself from that person and painful memories. The only way you can truly start the road to healing.
Forgiveness is about yourself, not the other party.
- The guilty asks for forgiveness because it is for their conscience, reputation, and so on.
- The wronged accepts any forgiveness (or lack thereof) because it is for your own mental and spiritual health. You want to cut them off. You want to move on. You want to start anew. You do not want to live in hatred and bitterness.
Forgiveness is personal and a must. Reconciliation is optional. A court case is the judge's decision.
- You can forgive without reconciliation.
- You can forgive without dropping a court case.
That is what I believe is the moral lesson of E09.
