Tushan Jing and Xiao Yao, here's to a Happily Ever After

 peng-peng:

Merry Christmas 

Merry Christmas!! 

@winny Aye

Hello... thanks u so much for appreciation...I am just happy to know. And ohh I am also living Bangkok. .

 ...im just glad we have some cool days here

Merry Christmas

Finally was taught (by Symbolika1) how to reply to your greeting...

First of all, sorry for being so impolite and not being able to respond to your kind greetings earlier.

Yes, it's been a few nice cool days so far.      When I was out having dinner with my wife and daughter this evening, I noticed that it is not so cool anymore :(       Wish it would have lasted a bit longer.

By the way, I am very happy to be able to follow the discussion you guys are doing.     I know I can learn a lot and finally getting some answer about many questions I have on Lost You Forever...      Hopefully I can also help you guys figure out some answer...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

 TinaL:

Merry Christmas!! 

Hey Tina! Thanks for passing by! Merry Chritmass to you too and Happy New Year <3

 ah_luck:

- Xiao Liu is very afraid of being lonely (perhaps thats why he stuck around Hui Shui for over 20 years), I am not so sure taking off and travel around and be alone again would be what he prefers to do.     So why be lonely again?

- From the beginning, we have all been shown how much Xiao Liu longed for Xuan she spent a lot of time looking out at the night sky and the stars, supposedly longing for Xuan.     Xuan also spent years looking for Xiao Liu, and still do...      Now that Xiao Liu knows the identity of Xuan, why did he not come out and tell Xuan.    Xiao Liu obviously wants to spend more time with Xuan and learn about his life and often getting emotional and touched, so his feelings for Xuan never wavered.     Why wait until the White Emperor summons him?      I can understand why Xiao Liu would be reluctant to go to Howling, her mom told her before she went into the battle never to return to Howling.      But Xiao Liu could reunite with Xuan without going to Howling.       And after being dragged to Howling,  why all of a sudden Xiao Liu is OK to reveal her identity and be close to Xuan again?      We will see that from then on Xiao Liu/ Xiao Yao spent practically everyday with Xuan for tens of years until the end of season 2 and seems perfectly happy.

I still feel very conflicting when I think about it and hope it could be clarified.     I do not think either XL or JING would affect Xiao Liu's decision at this point, Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao's feeing for either one was still not so well developed at that time...

 Winny Aye:

It's some the past she did not want face. That's what I think. As someone who had read the whole story in quick form before.I still think she prefer to explore the world than reuniting with Zhuan Xu and the political conflicts.  But why she agreed to be back to become princess again is because she gained acceptance back from Grand Emperor/King of Haoling and also once she stayed at Haoling, her former spirit came back. Thats what I think. But we will go through it again when reaching to chapter 9.

 Winny Aye:

As for bonds with Jing and XL. If we go along the drama, yes we saw Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao strong bond since starting. However in the novel, the one that got mostly bonding with Xiao Yao is Jing. I mean there's so many moments that we discussed before. About Xuan, well she missed her old happy innocent days but then, from what I read it's not like she is longing for it somehow

 Winny Aye:

Back to Jing, for me it's hard to ignore the affections and longing she still have for the guy. And it's in romantic way.He's on her mind. It's all there since chapter 1 to chapter 8. I mean their moments. Such as when she thought about assasinating Xuan. She would be ok as long as Jing was not involved and she suddenly wanted to test the guy when she thought of running away from Xuan.

 Winny Aye:

I think her leaving had to be mostly issues with Cang Xuan/Zhuan Xu identity revealed. ..

Interesting insights from Xiao Liu (ch.7):

1/ Gege (CX) offer Xiao Liu to follow him - here is her reply:

“I want to stay in Qing Shiu Town and be a little doctor.” Xiao Liu stepped back and carefully said “You are injured so I can’t do what I promised yet, but don’t worry, when you are healed I will write down how to get rid of the voodoo bug and give it to you. You have lots of talent around you, someone will be able to help you remove it.”

2/ When he is leaving and Xiao Liu is observing the scenery , we have her mind set again:

-Xiao Liu raised his head and watched as the cloud carriage rose higher and higher until it became a black dot and disappeared into the clouds. He silently made a wish in his heart “Gege, I wish that you will achieve everything you want!”

After the wine shop had been closed for many days did the people in town hear that Xuan had left. Both people in town were used to people coming and going so didn’t feel much of it. Sometimes men would miss Xuan’s wine or lament not being able to see the beautiful Hai Tang. But to Xiao Liu, Xuan’s departure made his life a whole lot easier. At least Xiang Liu wasn’t keeping an eye on him, and before long the bustling Qing Shui Town resumed its normal routine.

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 Xiao Liu's wish for a simple life as a doctor reflects a genuine longing for stability and normalcy. This desire provides insight into her character's yearning for a life unencumbered by the political complexities and power struggles she finds herself entangled in. 

That's who she wants to be, the kind of life she choose to build on her own till "now". Difficult to continue that kind of living  ,while in CX life circle ( that she knows very well).

The relief Xiao Liu experiences after Xuan's departure, as mentioned in the narrative,  indicate that her initial plan to stay in Qing Shui Town and lead a quiet life had its merits. However, the burdens of external influences, prompted her to reassess her priorities and opt for a more drastic solution—running away for true freedom.

@Ah_luck:   - Why wait until the White Emperor summons him?   

She really doesn't wait for that. She does the opposite, run away.

-  But Xiao Liu could reunite with Xuan without going to Howling?

She could, but as we saw: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever-season-2/119991-tushan-jing-and-xiao-yao-here-s-to-a-happily-ever-after?p=2913477&page=354 she choose otherwise, and I think I covered in that post all reasons in context , her  eagerness to run away is a multidimensional response to both external threats and internal conflicts.  She leave Gege as she leave all her friends in Qinshi Town. She see him safe enough :

You have lots of talent around you  + But to Xiao Liu, Xuan’s departure made his life a whole lot easier. At least Xiang Liu wasn’t keeping an eye on him, 

+ She always adress CX as : 

- a gege (brotherhood/family bond love) with many sisters :D.

***Also as @ winny highlighted, she have woman -to-men's attraction to Jing since they met, that is quite another registre of feelings. She is fighting those feeling back for few chapters now, but in this one, in chapter 8 , Tong Hua wrote them clearly and simply :

In this place of death, separated from the world’s enticements and entanglements, it made the complicated relationship between a man and a woman so very simple. It was just him and her. Xiao Liu suddenly felt right being here and that was calming.

Xiao Liu said “How about we never leave here.”

“Fine.”

“What’s fine?”

“It’s fine staying here.”

“What’s fine about it?”

“Just you. And me.”

Xiao Liu laughed knowing that Shi Qi also understood. There was so much that made life complicated purely due to circumstance. 

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 I hope it's helpfull ? :)

 `Part 2 chapter 8

The escape of Xiao Liu 

[The group continued on until dark when they returned to the inn for dinner before sleeping outside to guard the goods being transported. It was Summer so it wasn’t cold out at night. The entire town was asleep and the stars out were especially bright. Xiao Liu raised his head to look at the stars and wished for a duck neck to gnaw on to make this feel like a trip rather than running away.
Jing said “If you’re tired, go to sleep.”
Xiao Liu replied “It’s crazy outside of town, isn’t it?” Zhuan Xu thought he left town so was searching outside but in truth he was still in town.
Jing explained “Tomorrow the messenger group will depart for Gao Xing.” Xiao Liu laughed, Zhuan Xu would never think that he was running away from going to Gao Xing would then be headed to Gao Xing. Xiao Liu said to Jing “I thought you were so honest, who knew you were this sneaky.”
Jing said “Tomorrow will be exhausting, you rest leaning on me.” Xiao Liu looked up at the stars and said nothing. A raspy voice said “I. Am Shi Qi.”
Xiao Liu still looked up at the stars and said nothing, but after a few moments his head slowly tilted and lightly rested on Shi Qi’s shoulder. Shi Qi didn’t dare move as if afraid he would scare him away. Until he heard Xiao Liu sleeping did he slightly turn his head to gently look down on the sleeping Xiao Liu..................................................

Shi Qi answered “When we entered there was a very powerful being nearby so I completely concealed my power aura. I don’t know if he registered us.”
Xiao Liu said “Perhaps it’s a high ranking Gao Xing general that is stationed here.” But he didn’t feel all that at ease.
Shi Qi said “No matter who, we have to be alert. Rest well tonight.”............................

In the middle of the night Xiao Liu heard a commotion and immediately sat up. He saw Shi Qi pour all the water in the room on the ground around them before saying “The Godly army has surrounded the inn, and there are two very powerful Gods in the mix. I can’t even beat one of them.”
Xiao Liu chuckled “If we successfully escaped then I would be disappointed in Zhuan Xu. He is pretty capable.”
Shi Qi said “I let you down.”
“No you didn’t! Zhuan Xu used the power of two Kingdoms to chase us. You helped me all on your own. It’s a miracle we escaped this far.”
Shi Qi asked “How much do you not want to see the Grand Emperor?”
Xiao Liu thought “I would rather die than see him.”

Shi Qi put a fox shaped satchel in Xiao Liu’s hand “I can’t beat them but I can stall them. My winged ride is due Northeast. You run in that direction then raise the satchel and call like a fox. It will come pick you up.”

Xiao Liu grabbed Shi Qi’s hand “Will they kill you?”
“I am Tu Shan Jing, even if the Grand Emperor was here he would have to consider before killing me. Mere generals won’t even dare.”
Xiao Liu laughed “Then I’m going to abandon you and run.”
Shi Qi grabbed his shoulder with his voice slightly shaking “Let me see your true face.”
Xiao Liu smiled and shook his head “No.”
Shi Qi stared at Xiao Liu with unspeakable sorrow in his eyes. Once he walked out of here, Xiao Liu can become anyone else. Once Xiao Liu stopped being Xiao Liu, then Shi Qi would never be able to find him again.

Xiao Liu stared at him “Are you still willing to risk incurring the wrath of the Grand Emperor and help me escape?”
Shi Qi nodded.

Zhuan Xu’s booming voice reached them “Wen Xiao Liu, get your sorry behind out here! If you run again, I’ll break both your scrawny legs!”
“Change into one of their soldiers and run away” Shi Qi told him.
Shi Qi transformed the water into smoke and it became a mist surrounding him. He transformed into Wen Xiao Liu and walked to the window and opened it. Zhuan Xu said “Now you obediently come out here and I’ll consider not making you suffer as much.”
The mist gradually expanded from the room and floated outside and became so dense and thick it formed a maze. Zhuan Xu was furious and ordered the mist maze stopped immediately.
Xiao Liu could see in the maze thanks to the fox satchel Shi Qi gave him. He transformed into one of Zhuan Xu’s servants and silently slipped out of the inn.
Xiao Liu ran due Northeast and he raised the fox satchel high and a large crane descended. Xiao Liu climbed on the back of the crane and it took off continuing Northeast. Xiao Liu looked back and didn’t feel at ease.
Zhuan Xu’s angry thunderous voice reached him “Wen Xiao Liu, the person with you right now is Ye Shi Qi. I don’t have a problem with killing one Ye Shi Qi.”
Xiao Liu sighed – he really was able to be cold and heartless at the blink of an eye, thorough and unyielding. No wonder the Yellow Emperor liked Zhuan Xu.
Xiao Liu transformed back into being Wen Xiao Liu and turned back. After some time, he saw Zhuan Xu flying towards him and behind him Shi Qi was trussed up in a cage.

A servant came forward and Xiao Liu allowed himself to be captured. Zhuan Xu stared coldly at Xiao Liu and ordered “Break both his legs.” The servant kicked both of Xiao Liu’s legs and both snapped. Xiao Liu collapsed on the ground.
“Throw him in the cage.”
Xiao Liu was thrown in the cage and he crawled towards Shi Qi “Shi Qi….Shi Qi…..”
Shi Qi’s eyes were tightly shut and he was unconscious. Xiao Liu examined him and relaxed, Shi Qi had used all his powers as one to fight with many so he depleted all his energy and was passed out. He had no internal injuries and was in no life threatening danger.
Xiao Liu’s legs were in excruciating pain and he leaned on Shi Qi and murmured to himself “If I knew it was so painful to run, I would have chosen not to run. But if I didn’t run, then I would have never known that you would do anything for me. But what shall I do now? It would have been better had you not helped me. I could have easily severed my longing and hope. Or when we were surrounded back there, it would have been better had you not told me to run away by myself. Xan Tian Er’s life is a struggle, and when a man thinks he is helping her by easing her struggle, he is putting her into a different kind of struggle. She is now struggling with the fear that he would leave her one day and she’s left struggling all alone again. Which of the two struggles is harder? Perhaps most women choose to struggle with a man easing her load, at least there is some happiness, some hope that the man won’t let go one day. But I’m not like that! I would rather be roasted all alone, struggle all alone, because at least my hands are free. Pain makes me hope for escape, a man’s hands make me fear he’ll let go. I would then reach out and hold onto him tightly, collect all the happiness tightly. Right now Xan Tian Er is able to save herself because I helped her. But who will help me? The Gods can help humans, but who will help the Gods? No one! I still feel it’s safer to hide in my shell. I’ve suffered so much in my life already, I don’t want to suffer more, I don’t want to be hurt more…..”]

During the escape we see Xiao Liu accepting Jing's support of comfort. `Xiao liu hesitated but finally accepted it by resting his head on Jing'shoulder.   The hesitation is due to him still battling inside his  mixed feeling  of severing tie with Jing versus the growing longing feeling he has towards Jing.  This is understandable  as he did not except Jing to pass his test.  This little moment between then remind me of  the embrace they shared  at Jing residence, when he has been injured during Xiang liu and Xuan battle.   Jing later on is kind of worried that he may have let Xiao Liu down but he is reassured by Xiao Liu of the contrary. We see Xiao  Liu worried about Jing fate aka being killed when Jing reassured his that nothing like that will happen to him,  Xioa Liu then replied: "Then I’m going to abandon you and run.”. `I think the choice these words by  Xiao is deliberate by the writer . Xiao Liu could have said for example, `I am going or anything similar but used the word "abandon "an "run".   This is because here it is exactly what Xiao Liu is doing and he knows it.  After all who  normally would run  away when the feeling of longing for someone one intensify?  bare in  mind that I am nott dismissing Xiao Liu  fears of abandonment when I am doing this analysis.   Another point is Xiao Liu strong word regarding how much he does not  want to see the grand emperor.   Xiao Liu is runing away rather than facing  his fears. 

Back to Jing and Xiao Liu.  We see that  Jing asked `Xiao Liu to show him his  true face to which `Xiao Liu declined  with a smile and  this brought sadness to Jing.  This shows us that Jing did not pay attention to the words of the fake Xiao Liu doll earlier on : [ The  fake Xiao Liu doll laughed like Xiao Liu and spoke in the exact same voice as him “You don’t even know what you look like yourself, why blame me?”.. ] Xiao Liu does not remember his true face so cannot  fulfil Jing wish  anyway, even if he wanted to or not.  Therefore  the NO here has more than 1 meaning  : ' No " =he does not want to ( which we do not know for sure since Xiao Liu was going to use a new face anyway once he has successfully escaped ) or 'No"= he cannot( which we know. thanks to fake Xiao Liu ).

Xiao Liu again asked if Jing is still willing to risk  incurring the wrath of the grand emperor  for him to which again Jing nodded = yes.   To me it makes no sense that Xiao Liu  be asking this again after all he has  now known the extend of `Jing. commitment to helping him.  Here Xiao `Liu is still kind of in disbelieve regarding  what Jing has been doing for him even though he has been demonstrating it. He wanted  an extra confirmation as he is indeed leaving

Xiao Liu  changing his features  and leave. Jing urged  him to run  away since it is what Xiao Liu has said he wanted to do. Xioa Liu  turned back when `Xuan threatened to kill Ye she Qi.   his leg got broken and he is put in thrown in the same cage as Jing who has been captured and is unconscious. Xiaol Liu is released that Jing is indeed not dead.  What Xiao Liu murmur tohimself  as leaning on Jing is important  and I love them: 

"If I knew it was so painful to run, I would have chosen not to run." Here Xiao Liu is not just referring to the excrutiating pain of her broken legs but of  the expanding feeling of longing is has been experiencing  since  Jing unexpected reply : Fine without any conditions. 

"if I didn’t run, then I would have never known that you would do anything for me". This is not true because Xiao Liu has knows that Jing said he would do anything for him and has done so  several times already. 

 "It would have been better had you not helped me. I could have easily severed my longing and hope.".  here Xiao Liu is putting the blame on  Jing. We know  that he went purposely to test Jing. He could have run away without having to see Jing and this would have helped severing the longing and hope even though not immediately.   

" it would have been better had you not told me to run away by myself. "Tian Er’s life is a struggle, and when a man thinks he is helping her by easing her struggle, he is putting her into a different kind of struggle. She is now struggling with the fear that he would leave her one day and she’s left struggling all alone again. Which of the two struggles is harder? Perhaps most women choose to struggle with a man easing her load, at least there is some happiness, some hope that the man won’t let go one day. But I’m not like that! I would rather be roasted all alone, struggle all alone, because at least my hands are free. Again Xiao Liu is putting the blame on Jing, the underlined in red word show again Xiao Liu fear of abandonment. the green part to me showed Xiao Liu lie to himself. because we have seen that Xiao Liu  thought multiple times regarding  his longing for companionship  and someone who would hold his hand not letting go. This is a true cased of what is in his heart is different to what he is stating  right now.

"Pain makes me hope for escape,"Xiao Liu is not just referring to the pain like when she was with the 9 tails fox but to the pain due not his feeling of longing and hope hence he want to escape it by running away, be free from it. I also think  he is referring the the physical pain he had suffered by Xiang Liu. ( there is a lot of things Xiao Liu does not know about the bug). Xiao Liu has before said to himself that he was tired of the pain inflicted by Xiang L   when Xiang L used him to hurt Xuan and at other instance he had implied as much. 

 "A man’s hands make me fear he’ll let go. I would then reach out and hold onto him tightly, collect all the happiness tightly. This is contradictory to what Xiao Liu has actually been doing since he has been leaving, running away rejecting any nice moments he could have with Jing.....

" Right now Xan Tian Er is able to save herself because I helped her who will help me? The Gods can help humans, but who will help the Gods? No one! I still feel it’s safer to hide in my shell. I’ve suffered so much in my life already, I don’t want to suffer more, I don’t want to be hurt more….]  Xiao Liu is forgetting that Tian 'er 1rst gave the chance to herself  to be saved hence why he Xiao Liu was able to help her.  Xiao  also is forgetting that when he had been captured by the fox years ago, he gave himself the chance to  free himself . No one help them both `tian'er and him 1rst. Xiao Liu  rather hide in his shell than  help himself because he has suffered a lot already and does not want to suffer anymore ( abandonment issue here and physical pains ).  Xiao Liu is forgetting that nothing in life comes free. One has to give himself a chance.  for example he had to kill the 9 tails fox to be free. He had to do it himself.  WXL is as far as `I see his own worse enemy so to speak because he does not give himself chances / hope anymore. 

We will  see later on in the chapter that Xiao Liu will give himself a chance. 

`draft

This is my 2 cents regarding how I understood chapter 8  so far.

I have also updated  my 1st part  see page  349  again  today as I noticed some thing that I needed to mention. please bear in mind that it is only my analysis of how I understood the chapter. 

@winny Aye   @Symbolika1   @peng-peng

Thanks so much for your insights, let me go back and digest, plenty of great materials to go through...

bye bye '23   hello '24...

please let me know if I have made any mistake sentences or spelling wise.  Im have tired to. correct myself many times . 

Thanks