Tushan Jing and Xiao Yao, here's to a Happily Ever After

I sometimes get conflicting vibes from XY. I saw that from the beginning when she was still WXL she had strong feelings for jing. She was so angry and hurt when she asked him to help her keep the antidote from A Nian and he left when she needed him, and when she discovered who he really was, not because of his identity but because it meant he was going to leave her and she was hurt and insanely jealous of his 2 maids and that he was engaged to someone else. She was longing and hoping for a future with him. And this was when she thought that he thought she was a man. When she asked him to help her escape from CX she wanted to know his answer more that she wanted to escape and how much did she want to escape? She'd rather die than see the Grand emperor. And when he did help, her longing and hope for him only increased. Why would a woman like XY who's so afraid of being hurt, make a 15 year promise to wait for a man, without hesitation I might add, although she tried to hide it with nonchalance, if she wasn't in love with him? It might not have been as strong as it ended up being, but it was love nonetheless. When they left the dragon bone prison and XL came for her, she didn't go with him because she was afraid of what would happen to jing if she left him behind. All of the times she wanted to end it with him, it wasn't because she didn't love him, but it was because she loved him, and she felt insecure, that his feelings for her had changed, that he didn't like her enough. If she was indifferent to him, she wouldn't have been so mad at him as to want to break up with him when he stopped sending her the wine, which she felt meant that he wasn't missing her or didn't keep in touch with her. And once he explained why he stayed away, they went right back to where they were, sweet and loving and stronger than before. The kisses and affection she always initiated, telling him all she wanted was to be with him, after he woke up from the 37 years coma. When they broke up over yi yang she never got over him, couldn't sleep properly until they reunited, was missing him like crazy, longing for him. But then why did she only save memories of XL in her mirror? Why when she was going to marry FL she kept on literally begging XL to come and take her away. She waited for him for 7 days by the ocean to come for her, she asked him outright who she should marry if not FL, she made the sculpture thingy with the mermaid reaching out her arms waiting for someone and sent it to XL. When FFB stole her away from her wedding to FL and took her to Qing Shui Town, he asked her if she wanted to marry TSJ and she said yes. Then he asked her who she most wanted to spend the rest of her life with and she refused to answer. The narrative in the novel, implied that it was with XL. It said that she refused to say what her heart was feeling and when XL tried to see into her heart she was in physical pain cos she didn't want to let him see that it was him. I'm just confused by all of this. Unlike some of you guys, I see nothing to love in XL. From the moment he had her whipped 40 times for absolutely no reason other than pure cruelty and then stepped on her wounds and ground into them and wiped the blood from his shoes on her robe, she literally couldn't say no to whatever he wanted from her. She had no choice in the matter. The way he would grab her violently and drink her blood without her permission or consent in the beginning and then physically and violently push her off like she was garbage, or make her fall from the tree and break her leg and throw her from the sky, after taking her blood without her permission or consent. There is a four letter word for that behavior and it starts with R and ends with E. Nothing he did after that could redeem him in my eyes. And I can't imagine being friends with that kind of man, never mind being attracted to him. That behavior is in his soul. No matter what he did after that and I acknowledge that he did help XY and Jing in the end but that behavior is who he was. And he knew it, which is why he never allowed himself to let her know how he felt about her. Cos he knew that that was who he was and if she stayed with him, at some point he would resort to that behavior and hurt her violently. I give him credit for knowing that he was a dangerous, violent, abusive bully and therefore protected her from himself. Again, I can't understand why she made all of those overtures to him and TH implying that he was the one she wanted most to be with, if Jing was the one she truly loved and wanted. Also in the variety show hello Saturday, when TJC asked YZ between Jing and XL who XY would choose to spend the rest of her life with on a desserted island she said XL. 

Happy. No worries! <3

 Symbolika1:

Happy. No worries! <3

Oh myyy I’m now noticing Deng Wei has this cute little dimple when he smiles☺️

 TinaL:

https://weibo.com/7867101813/4953127038224838

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I was in the yaojing super group earlier and came across a fan who addressed *the whole if jing doesn't pour his love in then the love between him and xiao yao dries up bs xl fans came up* and I love how she addressed it. She couldn't be anymore right 

Totally agree with them.

 Symbolika1:

Oups and one I made this morning...because I had to :D :D....

Beautiful. 

 Winny Aye:

@peng-peng

Late comment.  For me XY/ Tsj relationship = fallen in love.

XY/XL is unrequited  because XL is in love with XY but his feelings are not returned 100%. And XY though feeling attacked sometimes only reciprocated friendship. So XL has been friend zoned.

yes i think like that. While XY actually fell for two guys.  She only acknowledged of loving only one for many reasons.  YaoJing very devoted to each other. To tell you the truth I think YaoJing is more sensual and passionate for some reason...even with XL blood sucking her. I mean the way she and Jing kiss. That kiss very sensual tension and also in how she was shy by his body even with scars. 

100% agree. 

@Palesun 

" When FFB stole her away from her wedding to FL and took her to Qing Shui Town, he asked her if she wanted to marry TSJ and she said yes. Then he asked her who she most wanted to spend the rest of her life with and she refused to answer. The narrative in the novel, implied that it was with XL. It said that she refused to say what her heart was feeling and when XL tried to see into her heart she was in physical pain cos she didn't want to let him see that it was him."

We all read things differently. When I read this passage I never once thought that XL was in her heart. Never . Not even am ounce. Why? Because XY herself had been pretenting and tried to make herself believe  that she was over TSJ. She knew that she was not. This is shown when she drop her parcel and Jing pick it up. She runs away quickly because she is hurting  because she still has him in her heart. She still in love withTSJ. XY is a proud person so she tries to be strong and pretend that she is fine and has moved on.  XL has the bug connection . Him more than anybody has know how she feels about TSJ.  He knows that she is heart broken because of Jing. And that Jing  is still in her heart.

When he asked her who she wants to marry . She replies whispering  Ye Shi Qi. This was a lie hence why she wispers it. Then XL  lniws this sonce ger has been feeling her pain for years now so he challenges her with that question to get her to be honest with herself : She is in love with TSJ. Because  the one her heart has been yearning for since before the break up  and after it and is still yearning for, is TSJ  and this is what she refuses to admit. Why?  because she is in pain and proud. She helds her heart because her heart though  broken, is  still fully "In love" with TSJ. She fell 1rst for YSQ but ended up falling in love fully with TSJ.  This is show  by when she is making the mermaid thingy. She is making it while she is hurting, broken. She is sending an SOS to the only person who can take her away from this mess and hurtful situation.  Why did she not sent it long before? Why the need to even sent it if she is in love with XL? She has met him before since her break up with jing. She could have confess but she never. Why? Because there was nothing to confess.  The mermaid thing  she sent though beautiful is a sad thing really because it is a cry for help. Not a cry for love.  She waited 7 days. Yes that is describe beautifully like "the fisherman wife waiting for her man"  I think. But it is also not because she is not the fisherman wife. She at that moment a heaet broken girl is trying to run away from the reality  that is  her man will never be hers. At that period of time her TSJ  indeed will never be hers. She cries when her escape FFB is killed by XL. That cry  and pain does not even last long. Look at how quickly she makes up with TSJ after her talk with  the old lady.  While talking  with the old lady, she think of Jing. Not XL. She relates everything  the old lady said to Jing not XL. Look at what she admit to TSJ. If XL was really in her heart and was the one she wanted to be with the most XY would never had acted the way she did. It would have been an insult to her, Jing and XL.  To her the most because she knows who is in her heart so does XL.

 This is what I understood when I read the English translation. Maybe in the original  the narrative does imply that it was XL but not in the English one.

I fact I was very surprised  when Koala  mentioned that it was XL. My reaction was where? How come? That's not what I saw at  all when reading. 

I went back I read all staring from the break up ,  XY pains and all and this chapter again and still did not see how it could be about XL in her heart and him being the one she wanted  to be with the most.  If he is was, TH would not have spent time describing  how XL felt about Jing and her realisation of how much she was in love with him.  

Even that kiss she wanted to initiate  to share air with XL. Did she not give herself many excuses before  trying to do  it? like  telling herself it is fine she can do it , Jing is married and has baby, Jing broke  his promise to her? If I remember correctly she  did ( someone please correct me as I could be wrong i read the book but cannot remember some parts well) but if I am right,  why she was she acting like a wife who is trying to cheat?

Again that is my view  and understanding of what  I read.  I also have a different view to most regarding the  bug.

@ Palesun

There are a lots of things  that are in our face as reader regarding XL but that is because he us the writer fav. But a lot of thing regarding XY feelings towards jing as there in the book.  People do not pay attention to them because they focus more on Things like a- she is cooking poison like a wife, b- she has butterfly  feeling..etc. for me when reading, they all did not matter much (though I did like them)  because she was glad to spend time with TSJ, she developed feelings of jealousy because  of TSJ, she made herself pretty for TSJ, she initiated ( this is very important because like she said it was not forced on her.  She is  giving it willingly) her 1 rst kiss with TSJ.  TSJ broke the chain that was  around her heart ( again only he did it).  All those things are there in the book to show XY  growing feelings for TSJ. Some people do not like it but , they  are there and are more deep.  So deep that XY even did not realise  the extend of their depth. She said so herself. 

Even archery ( that some people gloss over)  she wanted to learn it  1 rst because of YY. She later on did find it a lame reason but the fact remain that her 1 rst reason was  that .  And which was YY? Her rival. Her competition because of TSJ.

Regarding the mirror what is?the big deal?  She took XL image because? she liked him. Not big deal. It never meant that she took his image because she was in love with him.  

Look at it this way: she took his image in her mirror, she looks at it sometimes Versus She willingly kissed TSJ, She get angry and hurt when she thinks Jing has forgotten about her  and may not be interested in her.  For me it is clear which scenario show who she is falling for.