AH :
This is true, more or less. She doesn't trust that she can rely on other people. In QS Town, her companions are all weaker than her (at least when they first meet) and she enjoys being the one who looks out for them in her own gruff way. That's a dynamic that feels safe for her.
Found the part of the novel where XY says this:
The Yellow Emperor stared at Xiao Yao “What kind of man do you want?” The Yellow Emperor did not come from a noble or imperial birth right or received such an education, he was born in an ordinary family so when conversing with him, he was much more blunt than the Grand Emperor.
This bold topic would have made any young girl blush but Xiao Yao. She really thought about it and said, “Before I came of age I was already pretending to be a man. When young ladies are just noticing guys I was trying to just survive. I was alone for so long that really I just wanted someone to keep me company. Not someone I want to marry – I want someone I can live with, share happiness and sorrow with, fight and make up. I just don’t want to talk to myself anymore. But I’m scared because think about it, my own grandfather, mom, dad, they all abandoned me before. How can I trust someone won’t abandon me? I took in lonely elders and orphans because I know they need me so they won’t abandon me.”
Xiao Yao chuckled “People think I am kind but really I’m just weak. When I’m with those who are weaker than me, I feel like I am in control and am needed so I won’t be abandoned. That is when I feel safe.”
The Yellow Emperor rested on the pallet and stared at Xiao Yao.
She continued “When I became a girl again, I thought marrying is so far away and never thought about it. But I know I’m scared of a man like you. In your heart, there will always be choices that are more important than the woman you love.”