Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 nathsketch:

I hate this man, why is he like thissssss?

He's had a life of torture and torment and being seen as a monster. He's broken. We get glimpses of how magnificent he would have been had lived a life where he was respected and able to just be himself. Some wounds never heal. Instead, the scars are the personality traits that have become permanently dysfunctional. He's really such a beautiful soul, but people broke him. And so he's determined to fulfill what he sees as his mission and to end his own misery.

 Kokuto:

Holy cow!  How are you holding out?  I gobbled up each episode as it came out.

I know I'm crazyyyy but I just can't with his "bish don't love me" attitude 😭😪 

I still need some months ahahah I keep joking around but I'm not really able to watch this right now. It's just a damn make-believe thing, but I somehow cannot deal with it....help. 

 nathsketch:

I still need some months ahahah I keep joking around but I'm not really able to watch this right now. It's just a damn make-believe thing, but I somehow cannot deal with it....help. 

I'm very into storytelling and how stories are told and its been a very long time since a character effected me as much as this one. I delayed finishing the season and am slowly reading through the book, because I get too emotional. I've been trying to figure out what it is. I mean, yes, he's tragic. But, I don't respond this way to all tragic characters. I don't care about the romance, other than seeing how the tension and choices develop for the characters. But he really gets me. I think its that sense that he's been broken by a world of abuse and ostracization. He's doing all he can to hold onto some dignity and "fight back" by being committed to the doomed mission of Gong Gong. But, I don't think its just out of a sense of obligation. I think he needs to fight his oppressors and he can't do it alone. He needs to be with others, even if the general is the only who actually acknowledges him. He simply can't trust being in the world and so, he's having his last hurrah. The shaky potential of a life with XY just isn't enough, because he'd still be reviled by the world.

Its an act of despair. I live with a lot of despair. (Too much to go into.) I know that struggle to find my way to resilience and keep giving life a go. Currently, I'm going through a health episode that was triggered by insurance company buggery. It has caused me a lot of suffering and a set back of all the gains I had made to become more functional in my disabled body. So, I think, for me, its hard to read that character, because I don't want to go all the way there with him. I want him to heal enough to find a reason to keep living. Right now, I can't be dragged down into despair that deep. When I feel for him, I'm feeling for a part of myself. I can't let myself go that far. So, I keep taking breaks.

He IS the most compelling character of the story. His struggle to find meaning and a place and a desire to connect in a world which has caused him so much suffering is very relatable and complex. I'm more drawn to his story and how the author portrays him than any of the other characters. In fact, I hardly care about them. Probably because they come from that world which broke him. They are privileged in that world. They may have suffered, but, ultimately, they are still part of The People and they can readily find a place or choose not to. He has no choice. Why would he want to live thousands of years in that world?  Why do any of us want to live in this inhumane world we live in? And we only have to go through it for a few decades.

@UnaSpenser I sent you a friend request. Let’s chat, okay? 💗

 UnaSpenser:

I didn't mean to make anyone worry. I've had a lot of trauma in my life, but also a lot joys. when I'm hit by preventable trauma again, I do struggle to look forward to any more of this. That said, I would never walk away from my daughter and I always manage to find things to spark me enough to keep going. I'm not young. Turned 60 this year. My daughter is 23. We have a very lovely relationship. After 40 years of not pursuing what I had wanted to pursue in my youth, I began performing my own songs live, this year. And I'm in the midst of recording my first album. (Which got very delayed due to this medical debacle.) I have strong opinions about how we humans operate and convince ourselves that bad choices are "the best we can do" and whatnot, but I also don't believe in an afterlife. So for me, this is it. I'll make the best of it, for as long as I can, even if I feel grim, at times.

Thank you so much for sharing this much with us. I’m very happy to know you have your daughter, and yes, there’s so much in life to look forward to. Oh my gosh, please do share your album with us when it’s finished!! That’s outstanding, congratulations 🎈 

You’re almost the same age as my mom, so I’ll be taking care of you online as if you were my other mom too, ok? 

Here’s to making the best of it! As dear Gandalf would say, “all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 💗

 UnaSpenser:

“You’re almost the same age as my mom, so I’ll be taking care of you online as if you were my other mom too, ok?” @nathsketch

That’s very sweet. I feel honored.

♥️🥰 Happy Sunday to you!! Enjoy your day 🌻