windiaaa041293:
Because it was her choice that made XL stay away and ultimately pushed her away.
From the start, Xy never really fought for it.
Maybe a crystal ball is the one? But it was too late.
All this time xy is just waiting for xl to admit his feelings and give up everything before she chooses him
I err on the side that Xiao Yao never truly committed to trying with Xiang Liu, because at the back of her mind is his impending death. The crystal ball was the closest she ever got, but even that was passive and she still had that engagement with Feng Long. The four questions were another instance that showed her reluctance. Yes, we can read that as her refusal to answer, because he'd rejected her, but given her pattern of avoidance when it comes to her feelings for Xiang Liu, this wasn't something that she'd just started to refuse thinking about.
@MengXiang mentioned in one of her comments:
However, that advice that Tian Er gave her, could have applied to XL as well. I know at the point he made it clear FFB is dead and XL won't admit his feelings... Those obstacles are a result of how she responded to him in the v past. Did she ever think that if she stop hiding her true feelings and be open and honest to XL about her feelings and their problems and work on it they could be together. She believed he was destined to die and it was doomed. Isn't that what Tian Er is saying, if you don't believe it will be doomed?
So many times when motivational talks are given in relation to Jing I feel it can apply to XL but it is never taken that way by XY. It's annoying to me as a reader. I want to scream IDIOT to XY.
I think that this is very true. She isn't willing to go "all in" with Xiang Liu because his death is always looming in the background. She could do that with Jing, because that isn't a threat with him. So despite Jing's failures, she continued to stick with Jing since he is the one who repeatedly declares his intention and is willing to give up everything for her (despite his inability to actually make things happen)
windiaaa041293:
and finally she went to qingqui to choose jing(the right person).
And this is the biggest indicator that she wasn't fully committed or at least, it doesn't take much to discourage her. 3 months between confessing to one man, then rushing back to your ex who is still married because the first man rejected you. Does that scream "committed" to anyone? It's very much part of her character make-up.