“Miss Congeniality” (part one)

Zhuo Zhuo Feng Liu or The Legend of Zhuo Hua is not a bad Chinese historical drama with elements of comedy and fiction, which I have watched over the Christmas and New Year holidays. I chose that drama to watch over those holidays because I liked its theme, the short description of the plot and the cast. In addition, this drama is very similar in content and atmosphere to the previous series I have watched, namely A Dream of Splendor. The Legend of Zhuo Hua also had a lot of interesting and funny moments. But, to be honest, I  liked the comedy A Dream of Splendor more. Although it is worth noting that the drama Zhuo Zhuo Feng Liu also has its advantages.

In The Legend of Zhuo Hua, I again saw signs from God, which I have also seen in other Chinese dramas. I won't go into details about what those signs are. I've described them in detail in my reviews of other Chinese dramas, so I won't take up your time with it. Apart from them, I saw many other interesting things in the drama that I would like to draw your attention to.

For example, in the series, I again heard the phrase “when there is a will, there is a way”, which I have already heard in The Princess Wei Young and Imperfect Love. I guess the Chinese are very fond of this phrase, or God is giving me clues again. I think it's both. Moreover, in the drama, I again have had the pleasure of admiring the fans Tuanshan, which I like very much. But in this drama, in my opinion, they are the most beautiful I have ever seen. And in one of the scenes, I saw the pipa musical instrument, which I had already seen in A Dream of Splendor. In addition, in the thirty-third episode of The Legend of Zhuo Hua, at the seventeenth minute and first second, the official Zhou moved his fingers in a way that was done by the protagonist of The Advisors Alliance and Growling Tiger, Roaring Dragon, Si Ma Yi.

What I liked in Zhuo Zhuo Feng Liu was the cow mooing at funny and awkward moments. It was really amusing. :):):) However, in my opinion, that mooing might have been added to more scenes. At some scenes, it was clearly lacking. :) But the most epic moment in the series was when the eunuch explained to the Emperor about menstruation. Well, who better than eunuchs can tell about it. :):):):) By the way, do you know what my favourite Chinese word is? It's “bì xiaaaaaaaaaaaà!!!”. :) Well, this is how imperial eunuchs pronounce this word in Chinese historical dramas, as if they have a pinch in one place that has long since been removed :):):) (for reference, the Chinese word “bì xià” means “your majesty” in English).

The drama mentions the story of Cao Cao and Hua Tuo. I would like to take this opportunity to express my opinion on this matter. To be honest, there is probably no other case in the history of the world as horrific as the thoughtless and ruthless execution of such an outstanding and talented ancient Chinese physician as Hua Tuo, who has been far ahead of his time. It would have been better if Cao Cao had ordered the execution of himself. If Hua Tuo had not been killed then, the modern medicine would have appeared much earlier.

But let's talk about the good things. From one Chinese historical drama to another, I see nice and tasty Chinese cakes and I want to try them more and more. There were also a lot of them in The Legend of Zhuo Hua. I wonder what the Chinese make them out of. I would really like to try them one day. As I watched the Tencent Video episodes of the drama on YouTube, I saw Liu Tao again in the adverts for them. That wonderful actress was advertising something very delicious. :)

But the best thing in the series was the songs. I rarely like all the songs in a drama, but in The Legend of Zhuo Hua they are all very beautiful with good lyrics. Still, Liu Yuning is a very talented Chinese singer. In A Dream of Splendor, I liked his song, which in English sounded as Magnificent Dream, and in The Legend of Zhuo Hua, — his song Scorching Heart. You should definitely listen to Scorching Heart. There's such a passionate musical transition in the middle of this song. Although it is still a question of which of the heroes of the drama has a “scorching heart”.

As I wrote above, one of the reasons I chose the drama Zhuo Zhuo Feng Liu to watch was because of its cast. When I looked at the list of actors and actresses in the drama, I was pleasantly surprised. There are so many familiar names in the series: Jing Tian, Feng Shao Feng, Xu Hai Qiao, Shi Yue Ling, Qu Gao Wei, Zhang Xiang, the charming Zhang Yan Yan who I like in every role I see her in, and even little Coco Chen. But not all of them acted as well as I expected them to.

I was more than satisfied with the acting of Jing Tian, who performed the female lead Mu Qi, aka Mu Zhuo Hua. I liked her back in the movie The Great Wall. She pulled out that whole movie on herself, because Matt Damon acted lousy, and the character of Andy Lau was not needed there at all, as well as he himself. What I liked about that film was that the heroine of Jing Tian, a woman-general, commanded three other male generals. I really wanted to give her heroine a whip so that she could drive those generals around. :):):)

If you compare Jing Tian with Liu Yi Fei, there is an abyss between them. Jing Tian's looks are not only much better, but her acting talent is much stronger. Mu Zhuo Hua, by Jing Tian, is lively, cheerful, shiny, full of life, and also very smart and talented. She is sly, but at the same time a great inventor. Mu Zhuo Hua can rightly be called “Miss Congeniality”. Do you still remember that old movie with Sandra Bullock in the lead role?..

Zhuo Hua is a bit like me, but I've never been a cheat in my life. I have always been honest and decent with people. You won't believe it, but I have never written a single cheat sheet in my entire life. I didn't need it. I studied not for the sake of grades, but for the sake of knowledge. And I got excellent grades anyway, because I studied hard and always knew everything. I also repeatedly passed the exams, but I took the first place, not the seventeenth.

The main heroine could have taken if not the first, then the second place in the exam, if she hadn't written a complete nonsense in her political opus. In her opinion, it is not only possible to negotiate with enemies on the border, but also to almost kiss them (I will tell about the “kissing” the enemy below, there is someone to “kiss” in the drama :):):):). And what if your neighbour on the border is just like the crazy nazi russia? I have only one solution for such a “neighbour”: attackEEEEEEEEEEEЕÉ!!! :):):) It is impossible to agree on anything peacefully with someone who wants to destroy you.

But I liked the way the main heroine wrapped everyone around her finger at the poetry competition. By cheating and thus winning it, she showed at the same time the hypocrisy of all the other competitors who were licking the ass of the main hero, the Lord Ding. And I liked her poem. At least it was different from all that pile of poetic rubbish of the other competitors. But to be honest, I don't like Chinese poetry. You need to write poems about serious things, not about all sorts of flowers. As for me, the really strong poems were written by the Ukrainian poet, prose writer, philosopher, and public figure Taras Shevchenko. Reading his poems makes me want to cry. All of them are imbued with pain, longing and concern for his people... the Ukrainian people.

The main heroine's father in the drama is some kind of inseminating bull. He always had an itch in one place. :) Mu Zhuo Hua's family reminded me of Laurinda Ho's family, with the big difference that Laurinda's deceased father Stanley Ho remembered each of his wives and children and mentioned them all in his testament. And the father of the main heroine Zhuo Hua didn't even recognise his own daughter. O_o It's just lol! It was good that Zhuo Hua had a good stepmother who took care of her. This is exactly the case when the stepmother is better than the natural father. By the way, when the main heroine's father called the Lord Ding a gigolo, I immediately thought of Dou Xiao. :):):)

Wang Li Kun acted outstandingly her role of the Princess Rou Jia in the series. It was the first role I saw her in, and with it I discovered another strong Chinese actress. Her character is neither a woman nor a princess, but a real wench-dragon. When she revealed her true face, it became much more interesting to watch the series. There was a very cool scene in the drama with the Princess Rou Jia. In it, dressed in a sparkling crown and mantle, holding the imperial seal in her hand, she walked to the imperial hall. At that moment, I have had the feeling that she is going to turn into a dragon and swallow everyone around her. :)

I think every man deserves a woman like the Princess Rou Jia. Men choose women with model looks but witchy personalities, and then complain that there are no good women. There are good women, but when men meet them, they either don't notice those women or use them, wipe their feet on them and then throw them away like unnecessary things. So men have no reason to complain, each of them deserves a woman like that princess.

The male characters Xue Xiao Tang and Shen Jing Hong were two burdocks who dropped their mouths and rolled the lips. At least one of them realised everything in time. The series showed another so-called woman who pretended to be righteous, but was an idolater, worshipped Buddha, carried disgusting rosaries, and was in fact a terrible witch. However, her granddaughter surpassed even her.

Considering the theme and plot of the drama, it is worth saying that the two actresses, Jing Tian and Wang Li Kun, acted better than all the other actors and actresses, especially the actors. They pulled the entire series on their own. From my extensive experience of watching various movies and TV series, I can certainly say that actresses almost always act better than actors.

As a confirmation of that, my main disappointment in the drama in terms of acting was Feng Shao Feng, as well as his character Liu Yan, the Lord Ding. First of all, his character, the main hero of the drama, was so pale, as if he had leprosy. Well, and what is this the “Death with the Scythe”? I understood that he had health problems, but the make-up and filters were clearly overdone.  

Feng Shao Feng's acting was even worse than his looks. Throughout the forty episodes of the drama, he walked around with a cold, stony face that showed no emotion other than a little sadness and a little smile. In fact, Feng Shao Feng acted a log in the series. O-o Imagine how “pleasant” it was for me to watch all forty episodes on the “cold, frozen tree”. With such a face, Liu Yan shouldn't be a general, but compile a catalogue of books in a library. If you see that “living mummy” at night, you'll be scared to death.

Unexpectedly, I was completely disappointed in Feng Shao Feng. As much as I liked him in The Story of Ming Lan as Gu Ting Ye, as I disliked him as Liu Yan. I don't know what has affected his acting abilities so much since then, the divorce... or the drinking, but he hasn't acted well, you can say he hasn't acted at all.

There is a scene in the drama where his character carries the main heroine on his back. I've seen it not only in this drama, but also in many other dramas, not only in Chinese, but also in South Korean dramas. I really don't like it. Women are not sacks of potatoes to be carried on the back. Women need to be carried gently in the arms. And if Feng Shao Feng doesn't have the physical strength to lift up in the arms even such a slender and fragile woman as Jing Tian, then he should be sent to the gym to build up his muscles.

However, I was pleasantly surprised by Xu Hai Qiao. He rejected his typecast of bad guys and finally performed a good character. I have no complaints about his acting in this series. And although his Shen Jing Hong made a lot of mistakes in the drama, fortunately, he made the right decision in the end. I think it is Shen Jing Hong who has a scorching heart in the drama. By the way, I used to think that Xu Hai Qiao is younger, but he's already forty years old. He's well preserved. :)

At the same time, the actor Zhang Xiang in The Legend of Zhuo Hua performed the same kind of villain he did in A Dream of Splendor, although his character in Sound of the Desert was a real sweetheart. However, in all three dramas, I liked his acting. I was also surprised by Zhang Da Bao, who managed to act the main imperial eunuch in two series: A Dream of Splendor and The Legend of Zhuo Hua.

But the most interesting thing was something else. While watching the drama, a funny confusion happened to me. I have a very good memory for faces, I remember well the actors and actresses I see in dramas and can easily recognise them in other series. In Zhuo Zhuo Feng Liu, I not only recognised the “eunuch” Zhang Da Bao, but also “caught” Xiang Hao in one of the scenes in the brothel. However, I didn't recognise one actor in the drama. Guess whom? You will laugh now. :) Because I laughed at it for half a day, if not more.

When the Third Prince of the Northern Liang, Ye Mu Jing, appeared in the fourteenth episode of the drama, I looked at him and thought “how handsome... and cunning as a snake”, completely unaware of who was performing him. O_o Are you laughing yet? But then I looked closely and the actor's face seemed familiar. :) When the name of the Prince was shown in the subtitles, I already had some guesses. I stopped watching and went to see which actor acted him on the drama's page on MyDramaList. And when I finally found out who acted that prince, I started laughing out loud. :):):):) 

As they say, “I haven't noticed the elephant”. :) It's called “the dude got into the role perfectly”. Qu Gao Wei will be rich, because I really haven't recognised him. Moreover, according to the numerology, the more he will help others, poor or less fortunate people, including financially, the richer he will be. Then he will never need anything, because God, unlike people, always repays good for good.

The character of Qu Gao Wei in the drama it was “something”! When he insulted the main heroine Zhuo Hua I wanted to kick him off the horse with my foot. However, she also mocked him quite a bit, comparing him to a snail. :) Well, she “shoeed” him. The Prince was all “faded” after that, “poor man”. :) And I've already said that a woman's greatest strength is to say the right thing at the right time. And again, the “officer Guo Yue” didn't know what to do. :) Men should to get it through their heads that it's better not to argue with smart women, because there is a high risk of getting hit in the teeth with a frying pan, both figuratively and literally. :)

When Shen Jing Hong started to tell Ye Mu Jing something about equal opportunities for men and women in the Southern Chen, I thought “it's not true! don't blab!” One woman-official in the entire imperial court is not ”equal opportunities for men and women”. And when the voice of the Prince's younger sister, Ye Mu Zhen, came up, I thought “who is that yapping in the carriage?!” I knew the ending of that “yappy dog” from her first appearance in the series. Mu Zhuo Hua was right about her. At the appropriate moment, when Ye Mu Zhen was no longer needed, she was thrown away like garbage, and it was her own brother who did it.

In my opinion, they chose the very wrong actress for the role of the Princess Ye Mu Zhen.  That's why it turned out in the drama that the “most beautiful woman in all Northern Liang” actually became the biggest disgrace of the Northern Liang. I liked neither Jing Ci's appearance nor acting. As for me, the actress Chen Yu Qi, who performed the Princess Tuo Ba Di in the drama The Princess Wei Young, should have been chosen for the role of Ye Mu Zhen. Chen Yu Qi would have acted her much better and she looks much prettier.

When I looked at the numerous tents of the Prince Ye Mu Jing, I wondered if he had hidden in one of those tents Xin Er, aka Li Wei Young, from The Princess Wei Young, who was also the princess of the Northern Liang. Oh, those Chinese, they really love that Northern Liang. :)

It got even funnier for me when I thought about what would happen if Mu Zhuo Hua and Ye Mu Jing accidentally, drunkenly got married. What a “couple” they would be! :) It would be such a “bamboléo”, as Gipsy Kings sang. Not only plates and frying pans would fly at each other, but also kettles. It would be such “ben-de-lein, ben-de-lein, ben-de-lein, bein, ben-de-lein, ben-de-lein”. :):):)  It's like a terranosaurus and a pterodactyl, who will defeat whom.

Do you know why I have thought about their marriage? Because in those few  joint scenes, there was more “chemistry” between the main heroine and the Prince Ye Mu Jing than between the main heroine and the main hero Liu Yan for the whole series. :) I could imagine what it would have been like if Qu Gao Wei had acted as the male lead. It would have been a totally different series.

When Liu Chen said that Ye Mu Jing had spines on every inch of his body, like a hedgehog, I thought “seriously? even in the most “interesting” places ?” :):):) Liu Chen was a real idiot. I thought so about him at the beginning of the drama and didn't change my mind at the end. Without his uncle, Liu Chen was worthless.

Speaking of hedgehogs, I want to tell you something interesting about Qu Gao Wei. According to the Chinese horoscope, he is Monkey. Guess what zodiac sign in Western astrology corresponds to this Chinese zodiac sign. You will laugh once again. That's right, it's Leo. :) I don't know about the hedgehog, but it turns out that Qu Gao Wei is a lion in all places. :):):) Well, of course, I'm not one hundred percent sure about that, because I haven't checked it myself. :):):):)

Qu Gao Wei acted his role brilliantly, but his character was so few in the drama that I was sad. I had fun for three episodes, and then, gritting my teeth, I continued to look at the “log”. Once again, Qu Gao Wei was pushed to the very back. They have no conscience. By the way, where is the historical drama with Qu Gao Wei in the male lead role of the emperor that I have ordered? Cao Dun, move your “buns”!  If there are any problems, I can write a script for this drama and act the female lead myself. :)

I don't mind wearing the dress and crown of an empress, for I am like a phoenix. I died and was reborn from the ashes. And I have eyes like of a phoenix. Watch the beginning of the first episode of The Princess Wei Young and you'll understand what I'm talking about. At the same time, pay attention to the colours of the protagonist's grandmother and father's clothes at the beginning of the first episode of that drama. But my emperor will be a lion, not a dragon. And if any dragon tries to approach me disguised as a lion, I will tear him to shreds!

I want to tell you one more interesting, I might say even mystical thing. One online translator constantly translates the surname of Qu Gao Wei into Ukrainian not as “Qu” but as “Gu”, even though it is written as “Qu” in black and white. Greetings from me to Gu Qian Fan. Yes, the Lord God really is the greatest joker. :):):):)

After looking closely at each male character in Zhuo Zhuo Feng Liu, I came to the conclusion that the best of them all and the one I liked the most was Zhi Mo, performed by Zhan Yu. Like a real man, he spoke less and did more. Learn from him, men. It's the woman who should speak more and the man should do more, like the couple Zhi Mo and Guo Ju Li. However, the last one ate more than spoke. :)