things that permanently altered my brain and/or made me cry

copied from a massive google doc named "lists of entertainment" which is, in hindsight, a lot more calm of a name than the doc actually reads. here's the introduction i wrote for that doc:

"Saw a post some years ago online that said List your top 5 whatevers, quick— and I realized I couldn’t remember shit, nor could I pick. I consulted the inside of my brains and the feelings in my heart but I got distracted thinking about men and blood and violence/romance… so here’s the doc that tries to sort all that out.

To be honest, I should probably just write an essay on every single character/media and then psychoanalyze myself. Get really meta, and hurt myself in the process! Sounds fun, but unfortunately, I have a thesis to think about."

kinda cringe.

but then i thought, later on, that the contents of the doc would also be helpful to others (like my friends or maybe a healthcare professional) in the future. i showed a friend who's at least heard of a few of these things and she was a little worried, though i think she was more concerned about why i had shared yet another weird document with her at 5AM. but i digress.

some (more) disclaimers: i don't know if i engage with media critically in the way others may, but i love to trash-talk things i love and hate and love-hate, which is probably good enough. also, i am re-learning chinese, so my understanding isn't perfect. 

this list will be updated... possibly forever and endlessly...