I know I'm reading too much into this. BUT Ep. 12 when SDM and HJP are eating noodles the conversation goes like this: I am going to capitalize the subject pronouns here.
SDM: Should WE order some pork cartilage?
HJP: No, it's fine.
SDM: Mr. Han
HJP Yes?
SDM: What should WE do now?
Later in the conversation, she goes back to using the pronoun I. Then she repeats the WE again.
HJP: You're pretty resilient, Ms. Seo.
SDM: Yes, I am resilient.
SDM: So please tell me, what do WE do now?
I'm sure it's nothing, but both times she said WE, I kind of got the feeling she was talking about WE, as in her and HJP's relationship.
I mean, I doubt she's talking about Saha in the WE, and definitely not NDS. Especially since the advice HJP gives seems specific to SDM.
I just had a thought.From my experience working on TV show production (not entertainment but shows for the public…
It's possible.
When I watched The Producers, I always thought Gong Hyo Jin and Kim Soo Hyun were suppose to be end game, in fact a lot of people thought so too, because of the way the story was being told, and the background and etc... Similar to how we are feeling now with KSH. They has so many early episode heart fluttering scenes.
But as you know, the other co-star is IU, who has a huge fan base. And there was a lot of noise about wanting IU to end up with KSH instead, and the knetz not being huge fans of Noona romances. So we started to see a decline in GHJ screen time and etc...
Long story short, Kim Soo Hyun ends up with IU. And GHJ ended up with the other guy. It felt kinda weird and forced that last episode, but what can you do right? Of course they never admitted it, but that's the view most fans had of the show. Of course IU stans loved it :)
Not saying that will happen here, but i'm just saying it has happened before.
From a psychological standpoint, I have been trying to understand the character of SDM.
We know from earlier scenes that SDM and WIJ were very close; in fact I would even classify their relationship as a little bit of idol worship from SDM. Whatever WIJ did, SDM would just follow. It was clear in their sisterly relationship, WIJ was the leader of the two. And as a child WIJ was quite mature for her age. Understanding the dynamic/problems happening with her parents far better than SDM did.
For SDM, she saw her parents separation as exclusively her mother's fault. Did her father have faults? Yes absolutely he did. Let's not forget, part of the reason the lie was so effective to SDM was because the father was in on it. When he finds out that Grandma was the one writing the letters, he never reveals the truth to SDM until his untimely demise. The father has always been a dreamer, something Grandma knew. That is why Grandma had to tell him, I don't need words, I need actions (paraphrased) in Ep. 1. But for all his faults, SDM was oblivious to all of them. All she saw was a caring kind father who brought home fried chicken, and who married a stern and uncaring mother.
Initially SDM only blamed the mother for the demise of the family unit, but she still loved her sister, and was excited every time they would meet. WIJ, on the other hand, had begun to grow distant with her younger sister. This culminated in the scene where the sister begin to fight.
Like a light switch SDM feelings for her sister began to change. There is a saying "the higher the climb, the harder the fall". Because this act of betrayal felt so severe to SDM, it basically neglected all the good things and memories the two sisters shared.
So acts like the sister giving SDM some of her food, was seen as WIJ giving SDM the food she didn't like. Friendly or sisterly advice, are seen as personal attacks or jealous rage. Her view of hers sisters becomes very negative.
Ever since the mother left, SDM relished her role as her father's little support bee. Often accompanying her father to meetings, helping him distribute flyers, and helping him think of ideas for the business. Such is her faith in her father's business. As we have seen though, the father faced many hardships, it even reaches a point where the father is nearly penniless.
After her father's demise, SDM is left with two things. The fake letters from HJP, and her hate for her sister. The former eventually blossomed into real love, while the latter festered into unhealthy jealousy.
Was it SDM dream ever since a little child to be a CEO of a company? No. She may think so, but in reality, this is more of a manifestation of her jealousy of her sister. That is why, when she had no contact with her sister, she forgot her jealous rivalry with her sister. But the minute they meet, the ghost of competition come back. In fact, if WIJ was a top investment banker, I have no doubt in my mind that is the line of work SDM would enter, because in her mind the competition must be the same field.
It would not be enough to be richer than WIJ, SDM needed to be more successful in whatever position or field WIJ is in.
WIJ, is mature enough to admit that at times she regretted her decision to join her mother. It is a mature statement that SDM is unable to emulate. Instead she parrots the saying, "I have never regretted any decision I ever made", although she clearly shows many signs of regrets on her face.
Now that we understand how SDM's unhealthy jealousy to her sister started, let us focus more on her relationship with NDS.
Initially, when SDM and NDS meets. She hasn't treated NDS as her boyfriend yet. On the contrary, her focus was still mostly on her competition with her sister. At this point, we see SDM's ambition as a CEO, we even see her take charge attitude which was admirable.
All this changes in episode 7 during the meeting with morning group. When she saw NDS take a stance in the meeting. The little girl trapped inside of her bursts out once again. She finally saw in NDS someone she can support. These feelings culminated on a rooftop kiss, where she finally saw NDS as someone she can be with. For the first time, she can finally stop being brave, stop trying to be ambitious, stop trying to be like her sister. She can finally go back to the role she loved, the support role.
There is a saying, some people are born to be leader, and some are born to be sheep. SDM thought she was a leader, but subconsciously she wanted to be sheep. She thought that she wanted to be the one that is the CEO, doing the same thing her father did, but in reality, she is most comfortable when she is in the support bee role, which being with NDS allowed her to be.
And in a lot of ways, SDM started to treat her relationship with NDS the same way she treated her relationship with her late father. Meaning, she blinded herself to NDS flaws, and simply acted as support. That is why, ever since that act of NDS in episode 7, SDM has been comfortable letting NDS save her, the same way her father would always save her from falling.
I find it ironic that WIJ, who was never the girl in the sandbox memory, actually understand the purpose of the sandbox better than the girl who actually shared the memory. WIJ understood that a sandbox is not suppose to make you complacent, but rather a sandbox is suppose to make you more aggressive because you know that there is a sandbox to catch you when you fall. But in SDM's mind, she preferred NDS version of sandboxing, which is not to have a sandbox, but instead be constrained by the successes of NDS. She essentially tied her ambitions and success to him, which will prove to be disastrous.
That is why, in Ep. 12, we see that SDM finally realizes that her plan to be successful through NDS is a failed plan, because as we saw, NDS can succeed without her, and third party people do not see her as relevant to their business.
It's actually an interesting slap of truth to SDM. In Ep. 11 NDS tells SDM, SST would not be this successful without her, how it would not survive without her, how she is important. But as reality, in the form of Alex proved, her value to the company can be counted as simply 7% of 3 Billion Won. She is not as vital as NDS has shown her to be. Or I at least hope, this is the lesson she gleaned from it.
Little by little though, we are seeing some character growth from SDM as she is able to swallow her pride and consider working under her sister. She finally understands that she can not pin her success onto any one person, but she has to be able to count on herself.
I am hopeful that she can retire that little lost girl inside of her, and mature into the smart, and effective woman that WIJ, HJP and the audience knows she can be after the time skip.
A Little Side Note:
The father's business idea is basically a food delivery app similar to Grab Food or Uber Eats, which is a novel idea. But the problem is, based on what we know about these two businesses, they are still losing money until today. Such a business focuses on increasing the user base as its first goal. But in the interim would be very unprofitable. So understandably a lot of companies turned down the father, because you would need a massive companies with deep pockets to successfully make this type of business grow. Which is what the CEO of SH Ventures eventually did.
It's not a bad idea, but most likely, just like Noongil, there is no proper profit model built. No clear explanation of how the app/website would eventually make money.
I've been thinking that psychologically, NDS emotional growth has been stunted ever since he was a child.
In his meeting with Park Chan Ho in that flashback you could see that young NDS wanted to say something like "play with my friends", but instead the dad tells him to say to win some sort of award.
So as a young boy NDS never had the chance for a normal childhood. Thus what happens is he becomes literally a man-child emotionally.
And because NDS has been lying to his parents for 15 years, his parents actually never get a chance to either send their son to therapy or at least address his shortcomings. I don't even think the parents know that the knitting their son does is connected to his hidden anger, because it's never mentioned to Alex. Knitting has been shown as a possible way to alleviate stress, but not anger. Anger is a raw emotion, and knitting only serves to cover it, not diffuse it.
Signs of NDS emotional shortcomings:
1. I was watching my niece one day. She is 2.5 years old, and she does something naughty. I scold her and she cries. My sister tells me not to scold her daughter because they don't ascribe to that kind of parenting. They instead coddle her, and after a few seconds she's smiling again. I told my sister, your daughter is learning to fake cry, and she's not going to learn
I can't help but think of NDS here. In fairness to NDS parents, they are scolding him for the wrong reasons because they have been lied to for 15 years. But the naughty things he is doing is for the most part, either ignored, or going unpunished. When a person like NDS who has stunted emotional growth never get punished, or never given the opportunity to see the ramifications of his actions, he will never learn, and this actually conditions his mind to think that his actions have no real consequences.
A majority of viewers agreed that NDS fighting HJP for HJP helping them was immature. Yet, there is no consequence from his actions, he even gets what he wanted from it, which is for HJP to support Noon Gil. When SDM finds out about it, instead of getting angry, or finding more about it, she just ignores it.
This is akin to seeing a child throwing tantrums, breaking stuff, and either positively reinforcing it, ignoring it, or coddling the child to settle them.
2. Once again, I have to use my niece as an example, i'm sorry Abby! But at 2.5 years old, most children do not have the necessary emotional maturity to deal with most emotions. So when the child does something, and you take her aside to tell her what she does wrong, most likely she is not truly understanding what you are trying to teach her.
Like take for example, your 2.5 daughter saying "I hate you" to the mother. The mom will get angry of course, and try to explain to her daughter, why you should not hate your mom, or how disrespectful it is. The child will just nod her head, she cries, she may even in the rare case, say she is sorry. But just like a child, they will forget all this, and in the span of 5 minutes, do the wrong thing again.
Because, trying to explain mature scenarios to children is difficult, they don't have the experience nor mental capacity to understand the situation. But sure, they will nod their head, maybe even smile as if they understand, but they don't.
NDS actually exhibits this kind of behavior. When HJP tries to explain NDS emotional shortcomings, NDS does not understand HJP's point of view, but he just nods anyway and accepts it. But in reality he does not understand nor does he accept it. And he continues to make the same mistakes that HJP warns him against. In fact, just like a child does not like to be scolded, NDS becomes spiteful when scolded.
Another example of this is when SDM ask NDS for space, and NDS nods his head. But due to his emotional immaturity, he doesn't really understand it, so he proceeds to follow SDM around.
NDS emotional understanding of how the world works is dangerously low. Much akin to how a child sees the world.
3. Children, normally will not have many friends at a young age, will normally cling to their mother. Even hanging around the mothers feet and crying when separated. It is only when the child emotionally matures and creates special bonds with friends that the clinginess from the mother weakens.
In NDS case, due to his stunted relationship with his parents, he clings to the one person who has been kind and supporting of him, SDM. When you are a child, you cling. When you are an adult you obsess. We see how in NDS mind, he should be able to spend all his time with SDM, to the point where he wants them to always be together, always meet after work, always meet before work and etc.. Although the show tries to make this clinginess appear as adoration and support, it instead comes off as dangerous obsession, which culminates when NDS calls SDM his dream.
His obsessives/clinginess manifest itself in the form of over protectiveness. We see that NDS not only verbally confronts people who may or may not be offending his "mother", but he actually also physically threatens them.
Interestingly enough, NDS behavior is very similar to some Kpop fans, who send death threats to people who even mildly criticize their favorite stars.
One would think, that like in an intervention, his two friends would advise NDS of the wrong things he is doing. But the only voice of reason Cheul San, is the smallest voice in the group, thus majority wins. Yong San's maturity level degrades due to the loss of his brother, so he is in a similar boat as NDS in that respect.
It is only when the characters in the show STOP treating NDS with kid gloves, and treat him like an adult; to teach him that actions have consequences, will NDS realistically break out of his child like bubble and potentially emotionally mature.
I'd like to explain why SDM is head over heels over NDS. It's quite tragic actually. Warning, it's another long read.
When SDM was growing up, she had a complete family unit, Mom, Dad, Sister and Grandmother. As we saw in Episode 1, SDM idolized her sister and loved doing things with her sister and hanging out with her. Even gushing on how popular with the boys her sister was. Both sisters were very close to their father. Maybe more so than the mother, as the mother appeared to be the bad cop, pushing the kids to study, while the father was the good cop bringing home fried chicken.
Unfortunately tragedy struck the family, and the mom got a divorce. And as we saw in the sad montage in episode 1, the sisters started to drift apart. This culminated when the sister appears the betray the father they both love. An unforgivable offence for SDM, and this severs their sisterly bond.
In this new family unit, Grandma takes over as SDM's female role model, while the father remains the male role model that SDM looks up to. Ever since a little girl, she has always enjoyed being the "brains" so to speak. The little lady who loves to give his father ideas on how to expand his business. And their half family experienced their own kind of happiness.
That is until tragedy strikes again, and her father passes away. Her father, her idol, her paternal role model is gone. Who is left to fill that role in her life? None other than fake NDS or HJP. Without a male paternal figure in her life, SDM's young mind yearned for some sort of unifying male presence in her life, and she latches on to the letters representing the boy she dreamt to be her first love. But is it really the fake NDS she falls for? Read on...
That year in spring, two of the most important male presence in her life left. Fake NDS and her father. And it is not a stretch to think that for such a young vulnerable mind, she would meld the two men together. In fact, in her last letter she left in the birdbox, she talks about how if not for fake NDS, she would only remember the father dying, but fake NDS gave that Spring time some substance.
Now here is where things get interesting. Let us remember that the father and the mother exchanged letters before they got married. We see SDM complaining to the grandma about the men she is rejecting. Let us review the three conditions.
1. Agrees with her all the time. 2. Ask her first before making a major decision, like buying tickets. 3. Writes well, no spelling mistakes.
You see, neither NDS nor HJP fits these three description. You know who does though? Exactly, her father. HJP and Grandma both wonder how can SDM stay in love with a guy for 15 year, especially when it is a fake.
It is my belief, due to the father's tragedy, SDM experienced a psychological trauma where in her mind she melded the letters of fake NDS with the memories and characteristic of her father. In a way, it's almost like it is actually her father's words supporting her. So whenever she is feeling down, or lacking of confidence, she would just read the letters, and envision her father telling her those words. In a way, SDM fell in love with the man who her father was.
In colloquial terms, we in modern times would say that, SDM had Daddy issues.
It's actually not so hard to believe that women who looked up to their fathers would want to subconsciously mate with someone similar. Obviously SDM is unaware of all this subconscious baggage.
Having this in mind, it's not hard to see that SDM would fall harder for NDS, because:
1. Just like her father, NDS always says yes to her, and let's her win any disagreements.
2. Just like her father, NDS is wanting to do a start up. Or in a start up.
3. NDS's kindness and demeanor actually reminds SDM of her own father.
Because of HJP incapability to fully display his emotions to SDM. SDM herself has trouble connecting HJP with the man who wrote the letters. The man who wrote the letters, was not only imbued with the father's spirit, but was also gentle, kind, and supportive. In comparison, HJP is pragmatic, often harsh, and subtly supportive.
So as HJP sat across her and confessed his feelings. She is getting more confused. The man in the letters, based on a translation we saw of one of fake NDS letters, shows fake NDS telling SDM that every day is made better by seeing her letters. But here is HJP telling her, I like you (note, he doesn't use the word love), and he tells her in a very nonchalant way, trying to be cool. So understandably there is a disconnect in SDM mind. As she is having a hard time connecting HJP now, with the man who wrote her the letters 15 years ago.
It's not HJP's fault though, leaving grandma's place was the biggest mistake of his life. If he had stayed, it is more than likely he would grow up to match the spirit of the man in the letters. But instead, he entered into a difficult corporate life, where you are thought never to trust people, but only trust material facts, and numbers. So understandably the HJP you see now is the product of that.
I believe with all the character growth in store for HJP, we will see HJP become more and more the boy he used to be. The sweet soul, taken in by grandma. Cracks of it are already starting to show in Ep. 12. And NDS on the other hand, I can see him being less and less like the father SDM grew up to idolize.
After the time skip, as one moves further away, and one moves closer, there is a chance that SDM will finally be able to connect the man who wrote the letters, and the man that is HJP.
SDM: Should WE order some pork cartilage?
HJP: No, it's fine.
SDM: Mr. Han
HJP Yes?
SDM: What should WE do now?
Later in the conversation, she goes back to using the pronoun I. Then she repeats the WE again.
HJP: You're pretty resilient, Ms. Seo.
SDM: Yes, I am resilient.
SDM: So please tell me, what do WE do now?
I'm sure it's nothing, but both times she said WE, I kind of got the feeling she was talking about WE, as in her and HJP's relationship.
I mean, I doubt she's talking about Saha in the WE, and definitely not NDS. Especially since the advice HJP gives seems specific to SDM.
Not sure if anyone else felt this way.
When I watched The Producers, I always thought Gong Hyo Jin and Kim Soo Hyun were suppose to be end game, in fact a lot of people thought so too, because of the way the story was being told, and the background and etc... Similar to how we are feeling now with KSH. They has so many early episode heart fluttering scenes.
But as you know, the other co-star is IU, who has a huge fan base. And there was a lot of noise about wanting IU to end up with KSH instead, and the knetz not being huge fans of Noona romances. So we started to see a decline in GHJ screen time and etc...
Long story short, Kim Soo Hyun ends up with IU. And GHJ ended up with the other guy. It felt kinda weird and forced that last episode, but what can you do right? Of course they never admitted it, but that's the view most fans had of the show. Of course IU stans loved it :)
Not saying that will happen here, but i'm just saying it has happened before.
I'm going to do WIJ next, then finally our Good Boy HJP!
We know from earlier scenes that SDM and WIJ were very close; in fact I would even classify their relationship as a little bit of idol worship from SDM. Whatever WIJ did, SDM would just follow. It was clear in their sisterly relationship, WIJ was the leader of the two. And as a child WIJ was quite mature for her age. Understanding the dynamic/problems happening with her parents far better than SDM did.
For SDM, she saw her parents separation as exclusively her mother's fault. Did her father have faults? Yes absolutely he did. Let's not forget, part of the reason the lie was so effective to SDM was because the father was in on it. When he finds out that Grandma was the one writing the letters, he never reveals the truth to SDM until his untimely demise. The father has always been a dreamer, something Grandma knew. That is why Grandma had to tell him, I don't need words, I need actions (paraphrased) in Ep. 1. But for all his faults, SDM was oblivious to all of them. All she saw was a caring kind father who brought home fried chicken, and who married a stern and uncaring mother.
Initially SDM only blamed the mother for the demise of the family unit, but she still loved her sister, and was excited every time they would meet. WIJ, on the other hand, had begun to grow distant with her younger sister. This culminated in the scene where the sister begin to fight.
Like a light switch SDM feelings for her sister began to change. There is a saying "the higher the climb, the harder the fall". Because this act of betrayal felt so severe to SDM, it basically neglected all the good things and memories the two sisters shared.
So acts like the sister giving SDM some of her food, was seen as WIJ giving SDM the food she didn't like. Friendly or sisterly advice, are seen as personal attacks or jealous rage. Her view of hers sisters becomes very negative.
Ever since the mother left, SDM relished her role as her father's little support bee. Often accompanying her father to meetings, helping him distribute flyers, and helping him think of ideas for the business. Such is her faith in her father's business. As we have seen though, the father faced many hardships, it even reaches a point where the father is nearly penniless.
After her father's demise, SDM is left with two things. The fake letters from HJP, and her hate for her sister. The former eventually blossomed into real love, while the latter festered into unhealthy jealousy.
Was it SDM dream ever since a little child to be a CEO of a company? No. She may think so, but in reality, this is more of a manifestation of her jealousy of her sister. That is why, when she had no contact with her sister, she forgot her jealous rivalry with her sister. But the minute they meet, the ghost of competition come back. In fact, if WIJ was a top investment banker, I have no doubt in my mind that is the line of work SDM would enter, because in her mind the competition must be the same field.
It would not be enough to be richer than WIJ, SDM needed to be more successful in whatever position or field WIJ is in.
WIJ, is mature enough to admit that at times she regretted her decision to join her mother. It is a mature statement that SDM is unable to emulate. Instead she parrots the saying, "I have never regretted any decision I ever made", although she clearly shows many signs of regrets on her face.
Now that we understand how SDM's unhealthy jealousy to her sister started, let us focus more on her relationship with NDS.
Initially, when SDM and NDS meets. She hasn't treated NDS as her boyfriend yet. On the contrary, her focus was still mostly on her competition with her sister. At this point, we see SDM's ambition as a CEO, we even see her take charge attitude which was admirable.
All this changes in episode 7 during the meeting with morning group. When she saw NDS take a stance in the meeting. The little girl trapped inside of her bursts out once again. She finally saw in NDS someone she can support. These feelings culminated on a rooftop kiss, where she finally saw NDS as someone she can be with. For the first time, she can finally stop being brave, stop trying to be ambitious, stop trying to be like her sister. She can finally go back to the role she loved, the support role.
There is a saying, some people are born to be leader, and some are born to be sheep. SDM thought she was a leader, but subconsciously she wanted to be sheep. She thought that she wanted to be the one that is the CEO, doing the same thing her father did, but in reality, she is most comfortable when she is in the support bee role, which being with NDS allowed her to be.
And in a lot of ways, SDM started to treat her relationship with NDS the same way she treated her relationship with her late father. Meaning, she blinded herself to NDS flaws, and simply acted as support. That is why, ever since that act of NDS in episode 7, SDM has been comfortable letting NDS save her, the same way her father would always save her from falling.
I find it ironic that WIJ, who was never the girl in the sandbox memory, actually understand the purpose of the sandbox better than the girl who actually shared the memory. WIJ understood that a sandbox is not suppose to make you complacent, but rather a sandbox is suppose to make you more aggressive because you know that there is a sandbox to catch you when you fall. But in SDM's mind, she preferred NDS version of sandboxing, which is not to have a sandbox, but instead be constrained by the successes of NDS. She essentially tied her ambitions and success to him, which will prove to be disastrous.
That is why, in Ep. 12, we see that SDM finally realizes that her plan to be successful through NDS is a failed plan, because as we saw, NDS can succeed without her, and third party people do not see her as relevant to their business.
It's actually an interesting slap of truth to SDM. In Ep. 11 NDS tells SDM, SST would not be this successful without her, how it would not survive without her, how she is important. But as reality, in the form of Alex proved, her value to the company can be counted as simply 7% of 3 Billion Won. She is not as vital as NDS has shown her to be. Or I at least hope, this is the lesson she gleaned from it.
Little by little though, we are seeing some character growth from SDM as she is able to swallow her pride and consider working under her sister. She finally understands that she can not pin her success onto any one person, but she has to be able to count on herself.
I am hopeful that she can retire that little lost girl inside of her, and mature into the smart, and effective woman that WIJ, HJP and the audience knows she can be after the time skip.
A Little Side Note:
The father's business idea is basically a food delivery app similar to Grab Food or Uber Eats, which is a novel idea. But the problem is, based on what we know about these two businesses, they are still losing money until today. Such a business focuses on increasing the user base as its first goal. But in the interim would be very unprofitable. So understandably a lot of companies turned down the father, because you would need a massive companies with deep pockets to successfully make this type of business grow. Which is what the CEO of SH Ventures eventually did.
It's not a bad idea, but most likely, just like Noongil, there is no proper profit model built. No clear explanation of how the app/website would eventually make money.
To see how will react to this type of negative reinforcement. Because thus far, his reactions have been pretty bad.
She has no problem with yelling, blaming, and being snippy with her sister.
But with NDS it's always...
SDM: Dosan ah... (In a whimpering, soft voice.)
Have some pride gurl!
In his meeting with Park Chan Ho in that flashback you could see that young NDS wanted to say something like "play with my friends", but instead the dad tells him to say to win some sort of award.
So as a young boy NDS never had the chance for a normal childhood. Thus what happens is he becomes literally a man-child emotionally.
And because NDS has been lying to his parents for 15 years, his parents actually never get a chance to either send their son to therapy or at least address his shortcomings. I don't even think the parents know that the knitting their son does is connected to his hidden anger, because it's never mentioned to Alex. Knitting has been shown as a possible way to alleviate stress, but not anger. Anger is a raw emotion, and knitting only serves to cover it, not diffuse it.
Signs of NDS emotional shortcomings:
1. I was watching my niece one day. She is 2.5 years old, and she does something naughty. I scold her and she cries. My sister tells me not to scold her daughter because they don't ascribe to that kind of parenting. They instead coddle her, and after a few seconds she's smiling again. I told my sister, your daughter is learning to fake cry, and she's not going to learn
I can't help but think of NDS here. In fairness to NDS parents, they are scolding him for the wrong reasons because they have been lied to for 15 years. But the naughty things he is doing is for the most part, either ignored, or going unpunished. When a person like NDS who has stunted emotional growth never get punished, or never given the opportunity to see the ramifications of his actions, he will never learn, and this actually conditions his mind to think that his actions have no real consequences.
A majority of viewers agreed that NDS fighting HJP for HJP helping them was immature. Yet, there is no consequence from his actions, he even gets what he wanted from it, which is for HJP to support Noon Gil. When SDM finds out about it, instead of getting angry, or finding more about it, she just ignores it.
This is akin to seeing a child throwing tantrums, breaking stuff, and either positively reinforcing it, ignoring it, or coddling the child to settle them.
2. Once again, I have to use my niece as an example, i'm sorry Abby! But at 2.5 years old, most children do not have the necessary emotional maturity to deal with most emotions. So when the child does something, and you take her aside to tell her what she does wrong, most likely she is not truly understanding what you are trying to teach her.
Like take for example, your 2.5 daughter saying "I hate you" to the mother. The mom will get angry of course, and try to explain to her daughter, why you should not hate your mom, or how disrespectful it is. The child will just nod her head, she cries, she may even in the rare case, say she is sorry. But just like a child, they will forget all this, and in the span of 5 minutes, do the wrong thing again.
Because, trying to explain mature scenarios to children is difficult, they don't have the experience nor mental capacity to understand the situation. But sure, they will nod their head, maybe even smile as if they understand, but they don't.
NDS actually exhibits this kind of behavior. When HJP tries to explain NDS emotional shortcomings, NDS does not understand HJP's point of view, but he just nods anyway and accepts it. But in reality he does not understand nor does he accept it. And he continues to make the same mistakes that HJP warns him against. In fact, just like a child does not like to be scolded, NDS becomes spiteful when scolded.
Another example of this is when SDM ask NDS for space, and NDS nods his head. But due to his emotional immaturity, he doesn't really understand it, so he proceeds to follow SDM around.
NDS emotional understanding of how the world works is dangerously low. Much akin to how a child sees the world.
3. Children, normally will not have many friends at a young age, will normally cling to their mother. Even hanging around the mothers feet and crying when separated. It is only when the child emotionally matures and creates special bonds with friends that the clinginess from the mother weakens.
In NDS case, due to his stunted relationship with his parents, he clings to the one person who has been kind and supporting of him, SDM. When you are a child, you cling. When you are an adult you obsess. We see how in NDS mind, he should be able to spend all his time with SDM, to the point where he wants them to always be together, always meet after work, always meet before work and etc.. Although the show tries to make this clinginess appear as adoration and support, it instead comes off as dangerous obsession, which culminates when NDS calls SDM his dream.
His obsessives/clinginess manifest itself in the form of over protectiveness. We see that NDS not only verbally confronts people who may or may not be offending his "mother", but he actually also physically threatens them.
Interestingly enough, NDS behavior is very similar to some Kpop fans, who send death threats to people who even mildly criticize their favorite stars.
One would think, that like in an intervention, his two friends would advise NDS of the wrong things he is doing. But the only voice of reason Cheul San, is the smallest voice in the group, thus majority wins. Yong San's maturity level degrades due to the loss of his brother, so he is in a similar boat as NDS in that respect.
It is only when the characters in the show STOP treating NDS with kid gloves, and treat him like an adult; to teach him that actions have consequences, will NDS realistically break out of his child like bubble and potentially emotionally mature.
There is literally very little to no anti NJH post here.
When SDM was growing up, she had a complete family unit, Mom, Dad, Sister and Grandmother. As we saw in Episode 1, SDM idolized her sister and loved doing things with her sister and hanging out with her. Even gushing on how popular with the boys her sister was. Both sisters were very close to their father. Maybe more so than the mother, as the mother appeared to be the bad cop, pushing the kids to study, while the father was the good cop bringing home fried chicken.
Unfortunately tragedy struck the family, and the mom got a divorce. And as we saw in the sad montage in episode 1, the sisters started to drift apart. This culminated when the sister appears the betray the father they both love. An unforgivable offence for SDM, and this severs their sisterly bond.
In this new family unit, Grandma takes over as SDM's female role model, while the father remains the male role model that SDM looks up to. Ever since a little girl, she has always enjoyed being the "brains" so to speak. The little lady who loves to give his father ideas on how to expand his business. And their half family experienced their own kind of happiness.
That is until tragedy strikes again, and her father passes away. Her father, her idol, her paternal role model is gone. Who is left to fill that role in her life? None other than fake NDS or HJP. Without a male paternal figure in her life, SDM's young mind yearned for some sort of unifying male presence in her life, and she latches on to the letters representing the boy she dreamt to be her first love. But is it really the fake NDS she falls for? Read on...
That year in spring, two of the most important male presence in her life left. Fake NDS and her father. And it is not a stretch to think that for such a young vulnerable mind, she would meld the two men together. In fact, in her last letter she left in the birdbox, she talks about how if not for fake NDS, she would only remember the father dying, but fake NDS gave that Spring time some substance.
Now here is where things get interesting. Let us remember that the father and the mother exchanged letters before they got married. We see SDM complaining to the grandma about the men she is rejecting. Let us review the three conditions.
1. Agrees with her all the time.
2. Ask her first before making a major decision, like buying tickets.
3. Writes well, no spelling mistakes.
You see, neither NDS nor HJP fits these three description. You know who does though? Exactly, her father. HJP and Grandma both wonder how can SDM stay in love with a guy for 15 year, especially when it is a fake.
It is my belief, due to the father's tragedy, SDM experienced a psychological trauma where in her mind she melded the letters of fake NDS with the memories and characteristic of her father. In a way, it's almost like it is actually her father's words supporting her. So whenever she is feeling down, or lacking of confidence, she would just read the letters, and envision her father telling her those words. In a way, SDM fell in love with the man who her father was.
In colloquial terms, we in modern times would say that, SDM had Daddy issues.
It's actually not so hard to believe that women who looked up to their fathers would want to subconsciously mate with someone similar. Obviously SDM is unaware of all this subconscious baggage.
Having this in mind, it's not hard to see that SDM would fall harder for NDS, because:
1. Just like her father, NDS always says yes to her, and let's her win any disagreements.
2. Just like her father, NDS is wanting to do a start up. Or in a start up.
3. NDS's kindness and demeanor actually reminds SDM of her own father.
Because of HJP incapability to fully display his emotions to SDM. SDM herself has trouble connecting HJP with the man who wrote the letters. The man who wrote the letters, was not only imbued with the father's spirit, but was also gentle, kind, and supportive. In comparison, HJP is pragmatic, often harsh, and subtly supportive.
So as HJP sat across her and confessed his feelings. She is getting more confused. The man in the letters, based on a translation we saw of one of fake NDS letters, shows fake NDS telling SDM that every day is made better by seeing her letters. But here is HJP telling her, I like you (note, he doesn't use the word love), and he tells her in a very nonchalant way, trying to be cool. So understandably there is a disconnect in SDM mind. As she is having a hard time connecting HJP now, with the man who wrote her the letters 15 years ago.
It's not HJP's fault though, leaving grandma's place was the biggest mistake of his life. If he had stayed, it is more than likely he would grow up to match the spirit of the man in the letters. But instead, he entered into a difficult corporate life, where you are thought never to trust people, but only trust material facts, and numbers. So understandably the HJP you see now is the product of that.
I believe with all the character growth in store for HJP, we will see HJP become more and more the boy he used to be. The sweet soul, taken in by grandma. Cracks of it are already starting to show in Ep. 12. And NDS on the other hand, I can see him being less and less like the father SDM grew up to idolize.
After the time skip, as one moves further away, and one moves closer, there is a chance that SDM will finally be able to connect the man who wrote the letters, and the man that is HJP.
If NDS doesn't get NDS, pretty sure it will crush his mentality. So that's why SDM and NDS endgame most likely.
Their conversations have been superficial. And their understanding of each other has been poor, considering how much time they spend together.
In fact, until now, it's still HJP who understands her.
I am quite certain, when HJP saw SDM walking at sandbox in end of EP. 13, he knew exactly where she was going.
And HJP's advice have been bang on so far.
So it's certainly possible its a gotcha moment.
A director is what you call the head of a Non-profit organization. So it could mean that HJP is heading the noongil as a non profit project.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself when NDS and SDM were gabbing like teenage girls for hours and hours on the phone.
My heart fluttered a lot! Swoon!