To reassure Zhang Zhung is a complicated but possible task. He seems to be someone who pays a lot of attention to external perspectives, which makes him both receptive to new positive exposure to unfamiliar things but then is also negatively affected by opposing views to aspects of himself, especially if it hurts the people he loves.
So to me it's less about him being lost in a role (Zhen Xin for example serves as a reminder of this to us, because he is not in the slightest "lost" in an act and shows it, further affirming that this is the same for both of them), it's more that the role of Gao Zhung is a safe refuge for Zhang Zhung to both express/explore his feelings for Zhen Xin/queer identity and also a way for him to shield himself from having to completely face his feelings without any uncertainty. Even though he actually has bravely faced off others who have been skeptical and have opposed his relationship, showing firmness and sincerity toward Zhen Xin openly, but when it comes to fully accepting it to himself with no more excuses left to hide behind, he becomes wary and swayed by the questioning that the rest of the world is imposing on their relationship. Which then makes him return to hiding behind the mask of "being lost in the act" and of only having experienced "desire" for Zhen Zin, to almost temporarily "erase" the full reality of his feelings.
Which is why it's touching that Zhen Xin, who on the other hand, could care less about what others are saying, assuages Zhang Zhung's worries for a moment by swiftly freeing him by taking him to the cinema to show that their romantic feelings are just as real in their unconventional relationship, as other people's. In the end, Zhang Zhung is now still pushing Zhen Xin away for now, because he still fears deep down that everything has been induced by "acting" only, because of what others are saying about two people of the same gender being together (and the homophobia it stems from: because if a straight pair was acting together and seemed to be developping feelings, people would be pushing them to think it's real before they'd even had the chance to reflect on it). I hope Zhang Zhun comes to truly see and feel completely certain that, as Zhen Xin says, "they are real".
I’m so curious to know what ppl think about this, here’s my (long) opinion on the series so far and how it’s…
What surprised me the most when starting episode 1 was how this series tackles the ”trope” that the premise is exploring: the idea of BL actors genuinely falling in love with each other. Unlike how other series could have approached this trope, the proper starting point for the relationship of the protagonists of the series, ”Deep In”, starts not as much on the filming set, but in the personal accomodation the actors are staying in, which symbolically represents the actors’ personal lives (within a work environment), where they exist not even as the celebrities that they are purely, but as the individuals Zhang Zhung and Zhen Xing.
It’s most noticeable by the fact that we are informed that filming only begins in weeks to come, causing the actors and the viewers to have the impression that the ’world’ of the story ZZ and ZX must act in is still far away, and that what we are currently seeing is a prelude to acting, and grounded in the personal circumstances of Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin, despite the ”rehearsals”, aka that we are not seeing ’acting’ yet. Which is why there is so much emphasis on who the two of them are, what’s their status in the film industry, how have they met each other briefly on set before, and what kinds of romantic partners they have. Even as they ZZ and ZX are technically becoming accustomed to their characters by rehearsing scenes together, it is interesting that the series depicts this more as a legitimate excuse for both of them to 1. Act on their attraction toward each other and explore their sexuality without concern, letting go of the crafted ’straight’ identity they’ve been subconsciously keeping up in their life due to society and 2. Learn about BL as a form of self-expression, rather than trying to present the idea that Zhang Zhung and Zheng Xing are blurring their own reality with the characters as of yet.
This is conveyed by the fact that, we, as the viewer, don’t know anything about the characters as of this point. If anything, now that we DO know more, I find that this highlights my argument even further; because at the beginning, we do not know anything about Fang Chi and Gao Zhun other than their names and the fact that, as a BL, they have sex, which presents the ’fictional story’ they’re playing as very generic. In fact, when we see them rehearse, it’s insisting on this idea of ’yes they’re technically rehearsing but other than for sex, who are they playing? Who are these characters?’, they’re empty ’shells’ the actors are using, and the story they’re supposedly ’rehearsing’ is nearly indistinguishable from the fact of just being ’gay’ in and of itself. By doing this, the series intentionally makes us associate the rehearsal scenes to Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin rehearsing gay(/queer) sex rather than rehearsing a fictional story (which would be shown with full-fledged details) that we are confusing ’our’ (ZZ, ZX and us, the viewer’s) reality with.
The meaning behind this makes a huge difference to how we understand the fundamental nature of the protagonists’ relationship: by establishing this at the beginning, we are shown explicitly that Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin’s growing romantic feelings for each other are concretely feelings that they clearly have for each other, as people, with no confusion with their characters. Their ”characters” (at this stage) are just a safety net for them to fall back on, due to societal ’barriers’ of being able to try being physically and emotionally intimate with the same sex throughout one’s entire life. This is a crucial distinction, because if we imagine that the series decided to show that their attraction started when they had already begun playing their roles, you could argue that the series is solely posing the question: ”are Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin in love, or are they simply confusing themselves with their characters?”. But the series denies this with its opening episodes. How? The following episodes anchor this deeply (pun intended). Now by episode 6, we’re progressively shown that our protagonists and us are going deep into the story of Gao Zhun and Fang Chi, regardless of how we feel about it, and it effectively puts us in Zhang Zhun’s and Zhen Xin’s shoes: the ’fictional’ storyline is all-consuming and a lot to take in.
At first, we progressively got more scenes of them actually playing their characters, establishing already a completely different universe and circumstances: that of a psychiatrist and patient romance, establishing a complete 180 from what we thought we’d be getting (and therefore separating these scenes further from the ’rehearsing’ that Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin did). Then it was shown with scenes with Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin talking to each other behind the scenes but already dressed as their characters, with seemless transitions into their characters, to create the sensation of a blurring of reality (which one is which). But now, we’re fully into Gao Zhun and Zhen Xin’s storyline, so much so that we’re almost made to forget Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin nearly entirely (forced into the backdrop/afterthought of the episodes), and our protagonists seem to feel the overwhelm of this themselves.
Now, if we look back on how the series started, it’s striking to note that when ZZ and ZX were ’rehearsing’ (and still now) they kept using their characters’ names even though the pleasure of their sexual actions were very clearly their own, not acting, conveying the fact once more that using their characters’ names (in their private accomodation) is just a way to be able to do what they’re doing with each other without shame, with a ”reason”, and to plausibly deny to the other and to themselves what’s really going on with their feelings. Even the scene in ep 3 of Zhan Zhun being drunk and calling Zhen Xin by the name of ’Fang Chi’ in their private room, to me is more about Zhang Zhun being infatuated with the idea of being able to be sexually embraced and immersed with Zhen Xin under the guise of Fang Chi (as can be seen with other scenes like the karaoke scene where Zhang Zhun lets Zhen Xin kiss him thinking he’s asleep but isnt, and this was during a period of time when Zhang Zhun was starting to show more and more desire to get Zhen Xin’s attention and being happy at seeing Zhen Xin being aroused by him but not knowing how to approach him if not with the excuse of ’rehearsing’).
To come back to my original idea, interestingly, now that we’re ’deep in’ the fictional storyline, and our original characters are threatening to be ’written’ over, we get the scene of Zhang Zhun saying Zhen Xin’s real name on the FILMING SET when he is meant to be playing his character. And Zhen Xin, as an observer (literally put into our position, the viewer), notices. This marked me because in private = they’re using fictional names to justify their sexual actions (misleadingly makes it appear like a simple identity confusion) whereas on the public filming set when they’re meant to be in character = the real name is said, because the real desire of the characters is manifesting and overruling the idea that they are simply lost in their characters. Their feelings for each other are real, but the real-life heteronormativity they experience is a threat and source of fear, leading them to still contrain themselves within the loopholes of acting. Acting being the space where homosexuality is not only permitted, in their BL shooting, it’s wanted and it’s needed, and they can ironically express their developing emotions through it.
That being said there is real blurring of reality as well, as can be seen by Zhang Zhung reacting to a staff member the way his character would have, showcasing the toll that the story is having on both of them, but also how the fictional story very much reflects - albeit more abstractly/indirectly/creatively - circumstances in their real life (such as LinLin being the persistant ’female figure’/’girlfriend’ that serves as heterosexual obligation imposed on the protagonists - with ZZ having DanYi and ZX his gf).
But in this episode, one of the only scenes where we really get Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin together is in the ’changing room’ scene, literally undressing them of their ’personas’ as the characters that they play, and reinforcing the sexual and romantic feelings for each other (further insisting on the fact that we get flashbacks to their shared & therefore ’real’ past, completely removed from the current story they’re doing, such as showing ZZ being a ’double’ for an actress). So I find it quite intruguing that the series is communicating it through the structure of the series and is perhaps taking on a different perspective on this popular ’trope’.
If you made it this far, thank you that’s meaningful to me, and I’d like hearing whether people agree/disagree ^^
I’m so curious to know what ppl think about this, here’s my (long) opinion on the series so far and how it’s using the ”deep in the act” trope in unexpected ways
This would be a spoiler, for those who havent read the manwha. So you re going to get yelled at for not adding…
Added the spoiler tag phew haha sorry and thank you for reminding me and commenting ^^! And yayyy happy you saw it that way too and agreed it fits better/makes more sense to adapt it that way
I realised it after: I was first surprised to see the kiss scene in ep 3 because I remembered that in the original manhwa, it takes a bit more time before they share a kiss, which I found refreshing in the original because it showed that Jay and Yohan/Sun’s sexual relationship wasn’t just based on power dynamics of an ‘investor’ getting together with an ‘actor’ for benefits. So I went back to the manhwa, and indeed, their first kiss takes place on the rooftop which takes place quite a few scenes after the scene we’re currently at in the series. I find the symbolism of that choice stronger in the original because of it, so why would the series change it and choose to have the kiss now?
So I carefully went back to the specific chapter we are at right now in the latest episode, and realised: is the kiss we saw at the end of the episode imaginary?
Because in the manhwa, there’s a very brief moment, right where we are at, where Jay amusingly and grossly says to Sun/Yohan ‘did you imagine me r*ping you?’, and then we quickly see images of that vision (in a more crude way in the manhwa - I think that’s why it didn’t occur to me immediately when I went back to read it as it’s been a long time for me). If so, that would actually be so cool, because it would mean the series is indeed following the manhwa very closely and is planning on keeping the original symbolism of the development of their relationship (which I like a lot). Plus it keeps the viewers engaged and intentionally tricks us to consider the nature of Jay and Sun’s relationship. If I’m right, this will probably be the only time in a series that I’ll be fond of a kiss scene that turned out to be imaginary haha (since it’ll be much more fulfilling in the context when they finally do kiss for the first time). So now I’m very excited for next week’s episode, especially because it’ll cover the chapters where we see more of the long-awaited ‘flashback’, and we will get to see how Sun & Jay become closer emotionally.
Wanted to write this to know what other people thought of this analysis (whether it’s obvious or not or if ppl agree/disagree) so if you took the time to read, would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading this far ^^
Tried to make a Lu feng and Yichen edit to the lyrics of Michael Jackson's Dirty Diana where I wanted to show the tension between what the characters want but what their environment forces on them & how that influences their personality:
They shadow banned alot of people's post on IG recently.
Gotcha that explains a lot, I'm unaware, is it something that's happening with a lot of BLs in general or actually this one is more of an exception? (Thank you for the swift reply btw :D)
Great analysis!I thought it was in the present and they definitely make it on purpose to play both possibilities…
Thank you so much! I have yet to catch up to the remaining episodes but agreed that’s what I really like about this series, especially the details in what his partner chooses to share, withhold and convey like you mention, and I think that’s a pretty unique aspect of the series because there is more than one reason why the partner is concealing other aspects of their lives, even more so given what we as the viewers already know of their high school days (and how the partner chooses to navigate that, for one), let alone the mystery of what occurred during the years after. Wonder what you thought of the rest if you’ve had a chance to watch it till the end ^^
Your analysis is spot on! Had me seeing that scene in a new light!Usually I just skip through those "NC"…
Thank you so much! ^^ I actually still have to catch up to the rest of the episodes so can’t say much about what is revealed in the end, but completely agree that it gave a further dimension to the story and curious as to what you thought if you’ve had a chance to finish the series :D
There's a common expectation especially as a viewer or third party in a situation, to plainly view things as: if one person has feelings for another that the other person has to have a "valid" reason (ex: already dating someone or not being of the sexual orientation that would make them attracted to the person) if they don't accept the other person's feelings, especially in this case where it takes some time.
I think this comes from an inherent want (even as an external person) to see that the person who is pursuing gets their affection returned - perhaps because we hope to be loved back, or even more so, to be loved for who we are - since childhood - and that in a romantic context, then accepting a confession would be proof of that.
But confessions and dating aren't so straightforward, they're tied to societal perception, and each person will approach it with their own motives: whether for status, pressures of norms & others' views, purely wanting to escape loneliness, being physically attracted to someone, loving someone sincerely, wanting to explore one's identity and more. and within all that, it's easy to forget, that we treat people and ourselves with intentions, and we sense it between us (whether consciously or subconsciously).
On one hand, the person who is receiving a confesssion, shouldn't have any obligation to reciprocate of course, but it's also more than that: it's about authenticity and respect both toward the confessor and yourself, rather than as a reflection of someone distant or emotionally cold. on the contrary, being able to accept, reject or take time with someone's confession at one's own pace and based on one's genuine mindset/feeling, is the most warm-hearted and sincere answer.
This is why I really like how Duang With You introduces us to the story through Duang's perspective first to reel us into that default mode at first; we very much see and feel how Duang is affected - with time - by the uncertainty of whether Qin will ever reciprocate his feelings, and those feelings are underlined rather than dismissed. But one of the strengths of the series is that Qin's perspective is given equal weight, as he is portrayed as discretely gentle, guarded yet straight-forward, taking time to open up, doing so more slowly than societal expectations (and his friends - affectionately) impose.
Therefore any way that he does want to be with Duang feels that much more meaningful because of this. it's a reflection of himself rather than what we/the world hopes for, and gives further subjectivity & legitimacy to his experiences. it's the overall importance that everything he shows, every mutual feeling they share, is one that isn't for granted nor obligatory, it's free, it's thought out, and carried out with great care despite the fear, which is highlighted even more with the show's emphasis on consent.
1
1
So to me it's less about him being lost in a role (Zhen Xin for example serves as a reminder of this to us, because he is not in the slightest "lost" in an act and shows it, further affirming that this is the same for both of them), it's more that the role of Gao Zhung is a safe refuge for Zhang Zhung to both express/explore his feelings for Zhen Xin/queer identity and also a way for him to shield himself from having to completely face his feelings without any uncertainty. Even though he actually has bravely faced off others who have been skeptical and have opposed his relationship, showing firmness and sincerity toward Zhen Xin openly, but when it comes to fully accepting it to himself with no more excuses left to hide behind, he becomes wary and swayed by the questioning that the rest of the world is imposing on their relationship. Which then makes him return to hiding behind the mask of "being lost in the act" and of only having experienced "desire" for Zhen Zin, to almost temporarily "erase" the full reality of his feelings.
Which is why it's touching that Zhen Xin, who on the other hand, could care less about what others are saying, assuages Zhang Zhung's worries for a moment by swiftly freeing him by taking him to the cinema to show that their romantic feelings are just as real in their unconventional relationship, as other people's. In the end, Zhang Zhung is now still pushing Zhen Xin away for now, because he still fears deep down that everything has been induced by "acting" only, because of what others are saying about two people of the same gender being together (and the homophobia it stems from: because if a straight pair was acting together and seemed to be developping feelings, people would be pushing them to think it's real before they'd even had the chance to reflect on it). I hope Zhang Zhun comes to truly see and feel completely certain that, as Zhen Xin says, "they are real".
If anyone's curious I made an edit for Zhen Xin & Zhang Zhung to show this : https://www.tiktok.com/@bilily.bts/video/7667347222488419606?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=766748078195404992
Thank you for reading this far ^^
It’s most noticeable by the fact that we are informed that filming only begins in weeks to come, causing the actors and the viewers to have the impression that the ’world’ of the story ZZ and ZX must act in is still far away, and that what we are currently seeing is a prelude to acting, and grounded in the personal circumstances of Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin, despite the ”rehearsals”, aka that we are not seeing ’acting’ yet. Which is why there is so much emphasis on who the two of them are, what’s their status in the film industry, how have they met each other briefly on set before, and what kinds of romantic partners they have. Even as they ZZ and ZX are technically becoming accustomed to their characters by rehearsing scenes together, it is interesting that the series depicts this more as a legitimate excuse for both of them to 1. Act on their attraction toward each other and explore their sexuality without concern, letting go of the crafted ’straight’ identity they’ve been subconsciously keeping up in their life due to society and 2. Learn about BL as a form of self-expression, rather than trying to present the idea that Zhang Zhung and Zheng Xing are blurring their own reality with the characters as of yet.
This is conveyed by the fact that, we, as the viewer, don’t know anything about the characters as of this point. If anything, now that we DO know more, I find that this highlights my argument even further; because at the beginning, we do not know anything about Fang Chi and Gao Zhun other than their names and the fact that, as a BL, they have sex, which presents the ’fictional story’ they’re playing as very generic. In fact, when we see them rehearse, it’s insisting on this idea of ’yes they’re technically rehearsing but other than for sex, who are they playing? Who are these characters?’, they’re empty ’shells’ the actors are using, and the story they’re supposedly ’rehearsing’ is nearly indistinguishable from the fact of just being ’gay’ in and of itself. By doing this, the series intentionally makes us associate the rehearsal scenes to Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin rehearsing gay(/queer) sex rather than rehearsing a fictional story (which would be shown with full-fledged details) that we are confusing ’our’ (ZZ, ZX and us, the viewer’s) reality with.
The meaning behind this makes a huge difference to how we understand the fundamental nature of the protagonists’ relationship: by establishing this at the beginning, we are shown explicitly that Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin’s growing romantic feelings for each other are concretely feelings that they clearly have for each other, as people, with no confusion with their characters. Their ”characters” (at this stage) are just a safety net for them to fall back on, due to societal ’barriers’ of being able to try being physically and emotionally intimate with the same sex throughout one’s entire life. This is a crucial distinction, because if we imagine that the series decided to show that their attraction started when they had already begun playing their roles, you could argue that the series is solely posing the question: ”are Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin in love, or are they simply confusing themselves with their characters?”. But the series denies this with its opening episodes. How? The following episodes anchor this deeply (pun intended). Now by episode 6, we’re progressively shown that our protagonists and us are going deep into the story of Gao Zhun and Fang Chi, regardless of how we feel about it, and it effectively puts us in Zhang Zhun’s and Zhen Xin’s shoes: the ’fictional’ storyline is all-consuming and a lot to take in.
At first, we progressively got more scenes of them actually playing their characters, establishing already a completely different universe and circumstances: that of a psychiatrist and patient romance, establishing a complete 180 from what we thought we’d be getting (and therefore separating these scenes further from the ’rehearsing’ that Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin did). Then it was shown with scenes with Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin talking to each other behind the scenes but already dressed as their characters, with seemless transitions into their characters, to create the sensation of a blurring of reality (which one is which). But now, we’re fully into Gao Zhun and Zhen Xin’s storyline, so much so that we’re almost made to forget Zhang Zhun and Zheng Xin nearly entirely (forced into the backdrop/afterthought of the episodes), and our protagonists seem to feel the overwhelm of this themselves.
Now, if we look back on how the series started, it’s striking to note that when ZZ and ZX were ’rehearsing’ (and still now) they kept using their characters’ names even though the pleasure of their sexual actions were very clearly their own, not acting, conveying the fact once more that using their characters’ names (in their private accomodation) is just a way to be able to do what they’re doing with each other without shame, with a ”reason”, and to plausibly deny to the other and to themselves what’s really going on with their feelings. Even the scene in ep 3 of Zhan Zhun being drunk and calling Zhen Xin by the name of ’Fang Chi’ in their private room, to me is more about Zhang Zhun being infatuated with the idea of being able to be sexually embraced and immersed with Zhen Xin under the guise of Fang Chi (as can be seen with other scenes like the karaoke scene where Zhang Zhun lets Zhen Xin kiss him thinking he’s asleep but isnt, and this was during a period of time when Zhang Zhun was starting to show more and more desire to get Zhen Xin’s attention and being happy at seeing Zhen Xin being aroused by him but not knowing how to approach him if not with the excuse of ’rehearsing’).
To come back to my original idea, interestingly, now that we’re ’deep in’ the fictional storyline, and our original characters are threatening to be ’written’ over, we get the scene of Zhang Zhun saying Zhen Xin’s real name on the FILMING SET when he is meant to be playing his character. And Zhen Xin, as an observer (literally put into our position, the viewer), notices. This marked me because in private = they’re using fictional names to justify their sexual actions (misleadingly makes it appear like a simple identity confusion) whereas on the public filming set when they’re meant to be in character = the real name is said, because the real desire of the characters is manifesting and overruling the idea that they are simply lost in their characters. Their feelings for each other are real, but the real-life heteronormativity they experience is a threat and source of fear, leading them to still contrain themselves within the loopholes of acting. Acting being the space where homosexuality is not only permitted, in their BL shooting, it’s wanted and it’s needed, and they can ironically express their developing emotions through it.
That being said there is real blurring of reality as well, as can be seen by Zhang Zhung reacting to a staff member the way his character would have, showcasing the toll that the story is having on both of them, but also how the fictional story very much reflects - albeit more abstractly/indirectly/creatively - circumstances in their real life (such as LinLin being the persistant ’female figure’/’girlfriend’ that serves as heterosexual obligation imposed on the protagonists - with ZZ having DanYi and ZX his gf).
But in this episode, one of the only scenes where we really get Zhang Zhun and Zhen Xin together is in the ’changing room’ scene, literally undressing them of their ’personas’ as the characters that they play, and reinforcing the sexual and romantic feelings for each other (further insisting on the fact that we get flashbacks to their shared & therefore ’real’ past, completely removed from the current story they’re doing, such as showing ZZ being a ’double’ for an actress). So I find it quite intruguing that the series is communicating it through the structure of the series and is perhaps taking on a different perspective on this popular ’trope’.
If you made it this far, thank you that’s meaningful to me, and I’d like hearing whether people agree/disagree ^^
So I carefully went back to the specific chapter we are at right now in the latest episode, and realised: is the kiss we saw at the end of the episode imaginary?
Because in the manhwa, there’s a very brief moment, right where we are at, where Jay amusingly and grossly says to Sun/Yohan ‘did you imagine me r*ping you?’, and then we quickly see images of that vision (in a more crude way in the manhwa - I think that’s why it didn’t occur to me immediately when I went back to read it as it’s been a long time for me). If so, that would actually be so cool, because it would mean the series is indeed following the manhwa very closely and is planning on keeping the original symbolism of the development of their relationship (which I like a lot). Plus it keeps the viewers engaged and intentionally tricks us to consider the nature of Jay and Sun’s relationship. If I’m right, this will probably be the only time in a series that I’ll be fond of a kiss scene that turned out to be imaginary haha (since it’ll be much more fulfilling in the context when they finally do kiss for the first time). So now I’m very excited for next week’s episode, especially because it’ll cover the chapters where we see more of the long-awaited ‘flashback’, and we will get to see how Sun & Jay become closer emotionally.
Wanted to write this to know what other people thought of this analysis (whether it’s obvious or not or if ppl agree/disagree) so if you took the time to read, would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading this far ^^
https://www.tiktok.com/@bilily.bts/video/7639787566648085782?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=7639865860958520865
There's a common expectation especially as a viewer or third party in a situation, to plainly view things as: if one person has feelings for another that the other person has to have a "valid" reason (ex: already dating someone or not being of the sexual orientation that would make them attracted to the person) if they don't accept the other person's feelings, especially in this case where it takes some time.
I think this comes from an inherent want (even as an external person) to see that the person who is pursuing gets their affection returned - perhaps because we hope to be loved back, or even more so, to be loved for who we are - since childhood - and that in a romantic context, then accepting a confession would be proof of that.
But confessions and dating aren't so straightforward, they're tied to societal perception, and each person will approach it with their own motives: whether for status, pressures of norms & others' views, purely wanting to escape loneliness, being physically attracted to someone, loving someone sincerely, wanting to explore one's identity and more. and within all that, it's easy to forget, that we treat people and ourselves with intentions, and we sense it between us (whether consciously or subconsciously).
On one hand, the person who is receiving a confesssion, shouldn't have any obligation to reciprocate of course, but it's also more than that: it's about authenticity and respect both toward the confessor and yourself, rather than as a reflection of someone distant or emotionally cold. on the contrary, being able to accept, reject or take time with someone's confession at one's own pace and based on one's genuine mindset/feeling, is the most warm-hearted and sincere answer.
This is why I really like how Duang With You introduces us to the story through Duang's perspective first to reel us into that default mode at first; we very much see and feel how Duang is affected - with time - by the uncertainty of whether Qin will ever reciprocate his feelings, and those feelings are underlined rather than dismissed. But one of the strengths of the series is that Qin's perspective is given equal weight, as he is portrayed as discretely gentle, guarded yet straight-forward, taking time to open up, doing so more slowly than societal expectations (and his friends - affectionately) impose.
Therefore any way that he does want to be with Duang feels that much more meaningful because of this. it's a reflection of himself rather than what we/the world hopes for, and gives further subjectivity & legitimacy to his experiences. it's the overall importance that everything he shows, every mutual feeling they share, is one that isn't for granted nor obligatory, it's free, it's thought out, and carried out with great care despite the fear, which is highlighted even more with the show's emphasis on consent.
https://www.tiktok.com/@bilily.bts/video/7622055431451446550?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=7622089575032653345